Wonkette
- THAT NAME WILL COST $150,000: “Palin said if she and husband Todd had had a sixth child, they had already picked a name for a boy joining siblings Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig. ‘I always wanted a son named Zamboni,’ she said.” You know, we have things called “straitjackets” in this world and they’re not meant to go unused. [Washington Post via Deadspin]
AND her children are Eskimos. To the First Dude’s credit he said that the Zamboni name prolly wouldn’t fly.
Might as well name the kid Meth.
Definitely Cletus and Brandine Spuckler.
Poreef.
I’d go with “Five-hole”, myself.
In a little while we might be looking at the first example of a fetus aborting its mom.
Is she serious? I thought that was one of the joke names someone used on here??!!! Dear lord, please tell me she all of a sudden grew a sense of humor and is JOKING!
“Ya know, Todd always wanted a son named ‘Get me Another Damned Deer’ and I always wanted a daughter named ‘Shut Up ya Little Slut You’re Just Like Your Sister, that Filthy Whore,’ but we all can dream.”
This is one instance where I’ll defend her by assuming she was kidding.
hockeymom:
I thought that was Bristol’s nickname.
And by “straightjackets”, do you mean “condoms”?
Too bad she isn’t Italian. She could have named her kids ziti, rigatoni, farfalli & bowtie.
She is the stupidest person to have ever lived.
It bears repeating: Zamboni is Todd’s nick for his manly goodies. So it just stands to reason.
Uh. Zamboni? You are frickin’ kiddin’ me.
SayItWithWookies: “The child appears to have fashioned the umbilical cord into a noose…”
Zamboni Fivehole Palin will be the first Down Syndrome Governor of Alaskistan. Wait and see.
As Spinoza once said, it’s a pussy, not a clown car.
She always wanted to, had 4 children, and prioritized “Track” “Bristol” and “Willow” over “Zamboni”? And that’s assuming she didn’t get to name Bristol’s first kid! Man, conservatives don’t get around to much.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Oh Jesus, that did NOT bear repeating.
hockeymom: WIN.
queeraselvis v 2.0: As in, “Sarah’s walking funny because she took a ride on the Zamboni last night.”
Sorry.
I feel dirty now.
I just named one of my chickens in Harvest Moon Zamboni the other night. All my other chickens are named after politicians. The significance is obvious.
Zamboni Palin 2056!
Woodwards Friend: At least “Meth” sounds like it could be a name.
You sure they weren’t interviewing Tina Fey playing Palin? Because even I have a hard time believing she’s this stupid.
Yeah right, like Palin would ever give one of her kids an ethnic sounding name!
More likely she has a list of possible baby names that goes something like:
Tak
Whirrrp
Krom
Zig
Flynt
John Jr.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Todd shreds
I love the first line of the Washington Post story:
“Does vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin consider herself intellectual? You betcha!”
They’re trying to change my mind on their paper being a rag.
Ha, ha. Seriously, now, when did the Post get bought out by the Onion?
How can you out-snark the snarkiest bitch in America?
Zamboni is a famous Italian terrorist.
The greatest thing about that WaPo article is that she calls herself an “intellectual.”
queeraselvis v 2.0: No, it’s ZambonER, she just understand it…
Serolf Divad: The next two will be Fannie Mae Palin and Freddie Mac Palin. But I do love Five-Hole.
Curse you Newell for making me read the WaPo to discover your usually obtuse opening paragraph snarkiness is 100% legit this time.
I think they name their kids for something having to do with where or how they were conceived.
I think Alaskans will want to be avoiding the local ice rinks for a while.
OMG. Someone told me this yesterday and I didn’t believe them. I must go and grovel.
Perhaps she should name her kid “Straightjacket” because, let’s be honest, growing up in that family = fucking crazy.
>>Palin said if she and husband Todd had had a sixth child
And by “had had” you mean “am currently pregnant with,” right?
Jesus Christ the Palins remind me of the old joke where the family had so many kids they named them after the first thing they touched.
So, a kid shows up in class and tells the teacher his name is “Wagon Wheel Jones.” The teacher sends him to office for being a smart ass and he sees his sister walking down the hall. Wagon Wheel says, “What’s the matter, Chicken Shit? They didn’t believe you either?”
But at least in that scenario there is actually a REASON the kids have fucked up names.
Gopherit: Keep in mind, Trig no longer has Down Syndrome, he is autistic. At least that’s what McCain campaign is saying now.
OK, she said she considers herself an intellectual in an interview with People.
Irony has just died, having been run over by a Zamboni.
Gopherit: I was hoping for Peanut and M&M’s, but whatever…
I’ve always wanted to name a kid “Snow blind Psychosis”.
oh oh! what about Plum Foolery.
Zamboni, indeed. What’s wrong with “Moe” or “Larry”?
Lessee…
Track (short for “racetrack”)
Bristol (”Bristol Motor Speedway,” NASCAR racetrack)
Willow (”Willow Springs International Motorsports Park,” used to be NASCAR racetrack)
Piper (British Formula One and sportscar racing driver David Piper)
Trig (the Lone Ranger’s horse, Roy Rogers’ horse, Willie Nelson’s guitar)
Trig is obviously the least-loved in the family…
OK. Confession time. I kind of like the names Willow and Piper.
blinky_twinkie: But he’s the #1 grandson. For now.
Tra: Yeah, but when you name your kids based on where they were conceived….
Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig
Is it just me are do these names sound like pagan witch devil-worship blood ritual names? They’re certainly not CHRISTIAN!
Powllbot, it combines the piper bristol trig/track first initials.
oh and vote on this PBS poll to piss off her base:
Here’s the link:
http://www.pbs.org/now/polls/poll-435.html
She should probably spell it “Zambony”.
blinky_twinkie: Roy Rogers’ horse was Trigger. The Lone Ranger’s horse was Silver. Other than that, spot on.
NoWireHangers: Sled dog team.
I think she’s yanking your collective chains. 5 college Sarah named the little slow one after higher math. Next up is Algebra, then we’ll be switching departments and doing Bio, Chem, PE, and Shop.
Actually, given the headline I thought she was selling off naming rights for the next one. Staples Nordstrom Palin?
I thought she named her kid after the place she conceived, like the Indians, if thats the case, their new baby will be named Saks.
Tranq
blinky_twinkie: If NASCAR is the Palin household’s name deciderer, than the 3rd boy must be named Dale. (Bowing head and holding up three fingers.)
This sort of goes against the whole argument that Obama is the celebrity here. It’s pretty Hollywood to drop serious dosh at Saks and give your kids batshit insane names…
Why hasn’t anyone posted Palin’s college thesis challenging the “Critique of Pure Reason”? It is a benchmark in understanding her thinking.
Sarah Palin is the gift THAT WILL NEVER STOP GIVING.