THE MOST COVETED REAL ESTATE IN JOURNALISM  2:34 pm October 23, 2008

NYT Opinion Editor Hires Bono, ‘Jokes’ About How Conservatives Lie

by Jim Newell

New York Times opinion editor Andrew Rosenthal lost all professional credibility when he hired “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol late last year and then — and then! — called Liberals “intolerant” for not accepting this “serious, respected conservative intellectual” as a particularly edifying addition. Well, Kristol’s one-year contract is almost up, and we’re amazed that Andrew Rosenthal still has a job. Any job. So what’s the fixin’ plan for 2009, Rosenthal? His answer: hire, uh, rock stars such as that U2 guy who cares about AIDS, The Bono.

Rosenthal told a crowd at elitist Columbia School of Journalism last night that he has hired Bono to write six to ten op-ed pieces for the New York Times in 2009 about, what, African poverty or whatever his hobby is. How 2004 is that?? We guess the two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Harvard and decorated Rhodes Scholar who already writes about that shit for the Times op-ed page, Nicholas Kristof, wasn’t addressing these issues well enough in his twice-weekly column. ENTER BONO.

Ken Layne just typed in our fancy editorial chatroom, “Everything has become a terrible dumb joke that we are supposed to take seriously.”

Rosenthal also made this terrible dumb joke: “The problem with conservative columnists is that many of them lie in print.” Ha ha!…??

He did not indicate what would become of Kristol after this year, or of the conservative representation on the op-ed page, but did note that he liked such journalists as Megan McArdle and Byron York. Ugh. Just hire Ross Douthat and get it over with.

‘Times’ Op-Ed Pages Hires Bono [Radar]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 70 comments }

SelfDeprecatingFed October 23, 2008 at 2:38 pm

Ugh! Bono is a talentless hack who’s stolen millions of dollars perpetrating a fraud that somehow landed him on the “charitable humanitarian” list half a decade ago, and now the NYT cares what he thinks about politics?

Can we just burn all the books in America already? I wish I was raised ignorant.

TJBeck October 23, 2008 at 2:38 pm

If Bono really cared about Africa, Barack Obama’s half-brother wouldn’t be living in a mud hut or whatever.

shortsshortsshorts October 23, 2008 at 2:38 pm

On a related note, Bono can fuck himself.

ManchuCandidate October 23, 2008 at 2:38 pm

So what’s the fixin’ plan for 2009, Rosenthal? His answer: hire, uh, rock stars such as that U2 guy who cares about AIDS, The Bono.</i?

Translation: we (NYT) still haven’t found what we’re looking for…

Bostoprov October 23, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Isn’t it difficult to write with sunglasses on?

Green Man October 23, 2008 at 2:39 pm

This bodes well for intelligent discourse in this country.

TGY October 23, 2008 at 2:41 pm

Fuck. Better Bozo than Bono.

Gopherit October 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm

[re=144902]ManchuCandidate[/re]: hahahaha! But seriously, fuck the NYT Op Ed staff.

He looks like a greasier version of Billy Ray Cyrus.

hockeymom October 23, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Is Bono going to replace that one baseball guy?

whore4hope October 23, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Couldn’t they get the Decemberists?

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 2:44 pm

Man, I hate Bono. He and Mark Foley can stay the fuck away from the tank.

Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin October 23, 2008 at 2:45 pm

I guess Ted Nugent wasn’t available.

Texan Bulldoggette October 23, 2008 at 2:45 pm

“He did not indicate what would become of Kristol after this year”. Ooh, ooh, ooh I have a suggestion. Hogtie him, stick a plugged in curling iron up his ass & then flee the scene. Problem solved.

StrangelyBrown October 23, 2008 at 2:46 pm

People, there is actual gay Austrian Nazi buttsecks going on right now and Wonkette is missing out!

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article4996937.ece

I believe in Austria this is known as “Koktoberfest”.

Chuck Fildren October 23, 2008 at 2:47 pm

To counter this measure the Washington Post has just hired the Edge to write several editorials about the alternative energy industry in the third world and the Wall Street Journal has added Ted Nugent to its roster of editorial writers. Sure they may have a hard time distinguishes exactly what he’s written since it will most likely be written in sheep’s blood on a deer carcass.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 2:49 pm

(whispers)

I like Bono.

Gorillionaire October 23, 2008 at 2:51 pm

I love the story about when Bono called Captain Beefheart to invite him to do a track on “Rattle and Hum” and the Captain hung up on him because he had no idea who the fuck Bono was.

NotNotLickingToads October 23, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Bono hate seems to be a widespread, cross-cultural phenomenon. I don’t get it…seems like there would be better people to hate on than a middle-aged Irish rock star who spends his spare time getting nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and stuff.

bitchincamaro October 23, 2008 at 2:51 pm

Fuck that fraud and the born-again ass he rode in on. I nominate Jello Biafra.

Meth Lab for Cutie October 23, 2008 at 2:52 pm

I guess G.G. Allin wasn’t available. Oh, well, I hope Mr. Bono’s op-ed columns are as exciting as his music.

Aurelio October 23, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Bono gets my vote for the Sarah Palin Look-alike Prize.

Gopherit October 23, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=144933]Aurelio[/re]: Before her $250K makeover.

Aloysius October 23, 2008 at 2:55 pm

[re=144933]Aurelio[/re]: No, that’s Tina.

Nigerian Business Executive October 23, 2008 at 2:55 pm

I think that snagging the King of Ireland is a marvelous coup for the Times.

grendel October 23, 2008 at 2:56 pm

[re=144901]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: He must have been going to those same yoga classes as Madonna

shoeho October 23, 2008 at 2:58 pm

Aw, I liked using the Bill Kristol stuff to line the cat box.

TGY October 23, 2008 at 2:58 pm

It’s not Bono in particular, it’s having a rock star write for the NYT. Ok, ok, I suppose Krugman is an economist, which is essentially the same, but…

wheelie October 23, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Sinead O’Connor will be great as the new religious affairs correspondent.

dano October 23, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Hey, being a teenager from the 1980′s I like U2. I also like Van Halen. That doesn’t mean I want to read about what Diamond Dave thinks about the patriot act.

jagorev October 23, 2008 at 3:00 pm

If the NYT doesn’t hire Ken Layne (ie easily one of the best bearded writers in the Mojave desert), I am going to send a crystalline white powd{#`%${%&`+’${`%&NO CARRIER

SwanSwanH October 23, 2008 at 3:00 pm

“Am I buggin ya’? Don’t mean to bug ya’.”

Texan Bulldoggette October 23, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Slightly OT, but Bible Spice must truly be ushering in the apocalypse … and not in a good way for her & Walnuts.

Montana Poll: Obama 44%, McCain 40%

nurple October 23, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Bunno iz requeered to roite aal hiz peeces in a charrming Oirish accent.

Texan Bulldoggette October 23, 2008 at 3:02 pm

[re=144947]dano[/re]: I agree. What’s next–Cyndi Lauper writing for the Style section?

S.Luggo October 23, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Rosenthal has just recommended that Brian Wilson write of the Journal of Foreign Affairs. Seems it’s having circulation problems.

swarm of bees October 23, 2008 at 3:03 pm

[re=144929]bitchincamaro[/re]: Biafra’s first editorial headline – “Kill the Poor”.

magic titty October 23, 2008 at 3:03 pm

[re=144928]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: Highly overrated ‘rocker’ who’s pretentious-ness is enought o make me punch him on sight. He’s a hack.

FMA October 23, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Wait a minute! Bill Kristol is what passes for a “serious, respected conservative intellectual”?
What was the Mike Royko line? Sort of like being the tallest midget in the circus.

tiger October 23, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Jello Biafra! Roseanne Barr! Cyndi Lauper! Sean Penn!
Oh christ we’re doomed…

Rush October 23, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Dressed up, like a car crash
The wheels are turnin’ but your upside down

geek usa October 23, 2008 at 3:05 pm

I got nothing against Bono. His apparent faux-Messiah-ness does mean that, when he goes to Africa to “lay hands upon the many unwashed,” people actually pay attention to what’s happening there.

But, yeah. I wanna see Jello write for the NYT. “Don’t hate the media… BECOME the media!” Done and done.

tiger October 23, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Wait a minute, is Bono born-again? What’d i miss??

keepinitrealyo October 23, 2008 at 3:06 pm

You know, it takes a little finessing but you can fit the lyrics to “On The Street Where You Live” from MY FAIR LADY into the melody of “Where the Streets Have No Name.” Here’s proof!

SwanSwanH October 23, 2008 at 3:06 pm

[re=144931]Meth Lab for Cutie[/re]: Consulting NYT stylebook… “Mr. Hewson or Mr. Nazarenus, not Mr. Bono (cf. Sting.)”

SwanSwanH October 23, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=144938]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: I think that shagging the King of Ireland is a marvelously typical for the Times.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 23, 2008 at 3:10 pm

[re=144916]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You forgot the most essential part: PROFIT!

WagTehGod October 23, 2008 at 3:14 pm

I can’t believe the news today …

whiteasasheet October 23, 2008 at 3:14 pm

[re=144917]StrangelyBrown[/re]: I’m glad SOMEONE is scouring the intertubes to keep a proper score for Cocktober. I think now it’s USA 3, Euros 1. USA! USA! USA!

lumpenprole October 23, 2008 at 3:17 pm

Shoulda picked Willie Nelson.

Maus October 23, 2008 at 3:18 pm

[re=144958]FMA[/re]: “Wait a minute! Bill Kristol is what passes for a “serious, respected conservative intellectual”?”

Sarah Palin is what “passes” in Conservative society for all of those things.

blinky_twinkie October 23, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=144953]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I think Cyndi Lauper would make a fabulous Style Editor (or at least an interesting one).

I love U2. Rawr.

jodyleek October 23, 2008 at 3:25 pm

I remember reading several years back that Bono installed an $8 million dollar
pool at one of his homes.

That kind of soured me on Mr. Vox and his charity gig.

Nigerian Business Executive October 23, 2008 at 3:26 pm

[re=144982]SwanSwanH[/re]: I’m confused by your vocabulary modification of my words, but happy for any attention I can get.

Rest assured, however, that it’s a hard choice as to whose pompous, self-important musings on the world I’d like to read least Bill the Bloody’s or bloody Bono’s.

sezme October 23, 2008 at 3:30 pm

On the plus side, for six exclusive shows, Nicholas Kristof will be fronting U2, so there’s that.

Hooray For Anything October 23, 2008 at 3:32 pm

Just what the world needs- more Bono

JGB October 23, 2008 at 3:34 pm

No alt text, no read

Lou October 23, 2008 at 3:35 pm

Everyone needs to relax. Bono is awesome. Don’t take this out on him — take it out on the NYT. I doubt he was knocking down their door to write an op-ed column…

bitchincamaro October 23, 2008 at 3:36 pm

[re=145019]jodyleek[/re]: It’s true, but he filled it with his own tears.

wheelie October 23, 2008 at 3:37 pm

I always liked Bono’s remarks in Paris at the MTV music awards after the French resumed nuclear testing: “What a city! What a night! What a crowd! What a bomb! What a mistake! What a wanker you have for a President!”

Tawmn October 23, 2008 at 3:37 pm

I’d like to hear what Emo Phillips has to say about all this.

slavojzizek October 23, 2008 at 3:56 pm

He’s gotta be better than Dick Cavett!! (???) Has anyone anywhere ever clicked one single link to that guy’s postings or columns or whatever they are called (and yes, this is not a joke, they are on the New York Times online op-ed page).

problemwithcaring October 23, 2008 at 3:59 pm

[re=144919]Chuck Fildren[/re]: Jolie’s already in the Post all the time preaching about how the troops she talks to don’t want to come home, but would rather help refugees: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/27/AR2008022702217.html.

WIDTAP October 23, 2008 at 4:01 pm

My greatest concern on having an Irish rock star columnist is all of the run-on sentences.

Datsun510 October 23, 2008 at 4:10 pm

[re=144950]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: She is Apocalypstick.

qaf October 23, 2008 at 4:46 pm

[re=145043]bitchincamaro[/re]: Win.

lawrenceofthedesert October 23, 2008 at 4:46 pm

What are the chances that Bono’s take on a world situation is more stimulating than the same old prose from a Kissinger or Brzezinski? Pretty good odds. Just as Emo’s take on Bono should be primo — and wouldn’t Emo be loverly in the NYT? He could write one-line columns.

blader October 23, 2008 at 4:49 pm

I hear Drudge might be looking for work, maybe they can take him, especially if he brings along his fucking police strobe….that could really jazz up the NYT

ServiceJervixJuice October 23, 2008 at 7:13 pm

Everything Bono does seems engineered to provide himself a larger, longer lasting career.

Scandalabra October 23, 2008 at 7:22 pm

The old gray lady, she ain’t what she used to be…

greensprout October 24, 2008 at 10:42 am

[re=144903]Bostoprov[/re]: Dear Sir Bono. Stop. How dost thou operate the telegramophone whilst wearing gentlemen’s tinted spectacles. Stop.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: