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NYT Opinion Editor Hires Bono, ‘Jokes’ About How Conservatives Lie

New York Times opinion editor Andrew Rosenthal lost all professional credibility when he hired “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol late last year and then — and then! — called Liberals “intolerant” for not accepting this “serious, respected conservative intellectual” as a particularly edifying addition. Well, Kristol’s one-year contract is almost up, and we’re amazed that Andrew Rosenthal still has a job. Any job. So what’s the fixin’ plan for 2009, Rosenthal? His answer: hire, uh, rock stars such as that U2 guy who cares about AIDS, The Bono.

Rosenthal told a crowd at elitist Columbia School of Journalism last night that he has hired Bono to write six to ten op-ed pieces for the New York Times in 2009 about, what, African poverty or whatever his hobby is. How 2004 is that?? We guess the two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Harvard and decorated Rhodes Scholar who already writes about that shit for the Times op-ed page, Nicholas Kristof, wasn’t addressing these issues well enough in his twice-weekly column. ENTER BONO.

Ken Layne just typed in our fancy editorial chatroom, “Everything has become a terrible dumb joke that we are supposed to take seriously.”

Rosenthal also made this terrible dumb joke: “The problem with conservative columnists is that many of them lie in print.” Ha ha!…??

He did not indicate what would become of Kristol after this year, or of the conservative representation on the op-ed page, but did note that he liked such journalists as Megan McArdle and Byron York. Ugh. Just hire Ross Douthat and get it over with.

‘Times’ Op-Ed Pages Hires Bono [Radar]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • SelfDeprecatingFed

    Ugh! Bono is a talentless hack who’s stolen millions of dollars perpetrating a fraud that somehow landed him on the “charitable humanitarian” list half a decade ago, and now the NYT cares what he thinks about politics?

    Can we just burn all the books in America already? I wish I was raised ignorant.

  • TJBeck

    If Bono really cared about Africa, Barack Obama’s half-brother wouldn’t be living in a mud hut or whatever.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    On a related note, Bono can fuck himself.

  • ManchuCandidate

    So what’s the fixin’ plan for 2009, Rosenthal? His answer: hire, uh, rock stars such as that U2 guy who cares about AIDS, The Bono.</i?

    Translation: we (NYT) still haven’t found what we’re looking for…

  • Bostoprov

    Isn’t it difficult to write with sunglasses on?

  • Green Man

    This bodes well for intelligent discourse in this country.

  • TGY

    Fuck. Better Bozo than Bono.

  • Gopherit

    [re=144902]ManchuCandidate[/re]: hahahaha! But seriously, fuck the NYT Op Ed staff.

    He looks like a greasier version of Billy Ray Cyrus.

  • hockeymom

    Is Bono going to replace that one baseball guy?

  • whore4hope

    Couldn’t they get the Decemberists?

  • magic titty

    Man, I hate Bono. He and Mark Foley can stay the fuck away from the tank.

  • Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin

    I guess Ted Nugent wasn’t available.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    “He did not indicate what would become of Kristol after this year”. Ooh, ooh, ooh I have a suggestion. Hogtie him, stick a plugged in curling iron up his ass & then flee the scene. Problem solved.

  • StrangelyBrown

    People, there is actual gay Austrian Nazi buttsecks going on right now and Wonkette is missing out!

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article4996937.ece

    I believe in Austria this is known as “Koktoberfest”.

  • Chuck Fildren

    To counter this measure the Washington Post has just hired the Edge to write several editorials about the alternative energy industry in the third world and the Wall Street Journal has added Ted Nugent to its roster of editorial writers. Sure they may have a hard time distinguishes exactly what he’s written since it will most likely be written in sheep’s blood on a deer carcass.

  • NoWireHangers

    (whispers)

    I like Bono.

  • Gorillionaire

    I love the story about when Bono called Captain Beefheart to invite him to do a track on “Rattle and Hum” and the Captain hung up on him because he had no idea who the fuck Bono was.

  • NotNotLickingToads

    Bono hate seems to be a widespread, cross-cultural phenomenon. I don’t get it…seems like there would be better people to hate on than a middle-aged Irish rock star who spends his spare time getting nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and stuff.

  • bitchincamaro

    Fuck that fraud and the born-again ass he rode in on. I nominate Jello Biafra.

  • Meth Lab for Cutie

    I guess G.G. Allin wasn’t available. Oh, well, I hope Mr. Bono’s op-ed columns are as exciting as his music.

  • Aurelio

    Bono gets my vote for the Sarah Palin Look-alike Prize.

  • Gopherit

    [re=144933]Aurelio[/re]: Before her $250K makeover.

  • Aloysius

    [re=144933]Aurelio[/re]: No, that’s Tina.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    I think that snagging the King of Ireland is a marvelous coup for the Times.

  • grendel

    [re=144901]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: He must have been going to those same yoga classes as Madonna

  • shoeho

    Aw, I liked using the Bill Kristol stuff to line the cat box.

  • TGY

    It’s not Bono in particular, it’s having a rock star write for the NYT. Ok, ok, I suppose Krugman is an economist, which is essentially the same, but…

  • wheelie

    Sinead O’Connor will be great as the new religious affairs correspondent.

  • dano

    Hey, being a teenager from the 1980’s I like U2. I also like Van Halen. That doesn’t mean I want to read about what Diamond Dave thinks about the patriot act.

  • jagorev

    If the NYT doesn’t hire Ken Layne (ie easily one of the best bearded writers in the Mojave desert), I am going to send a crystalline white powd{#`%${%&`+’${`%&NO CARRIER

  • SwanSwanH

    “Am I buggin ya’? Don’t mean to bug ya’.”

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Slightly OT, but Bible Spice must truly be ushering in the apocalypse … and not in a good way for her & Walnuts.

    Montana Poll: Obama 44%, McCain 40%

  • nurple

    Bunno iz requeered to roite aal hiz peeces in a charrming Oirish accent.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=144947]dano[/re]: I agree. What’s next–Cyndi Lauper writing for the Style section?

  • S.Luggo

    Rosenthal has just recommended that Brian Wilson write of the Journal of Foreign Affairs. Seems it’s having circulation problems.

  • swarm of bees

    [re=144929]bitchincamaro[/re]: Biafra’s first editorial headline – “Kill the Poor”.

  • magic titty

    [re=144928]NotNotLickingToads[/re]: Highly overrated ‘rocker’ who’s pretentious-ness is enought o make me punch him on sight. He’s a hack.

  • FMA

    Wait a minute! Bill Kristol is what passes for a “serious, respected conservative intellectual”?
    What was the Mike Royko line? Sort of like being the tallest midget in the circus.

  • tiger

    Jello Biafra! Roseanne Barr! Cyndi Lauper! Sean Penn!
    Oh christ we’re doomed…

  • Rush

    Dressed up, like a car crash
    The wheels are turnin’ but your upside down

  • geek usa

    I got nothing against Bono. His apparent faux-Messiah-ness does mean that, when he goes to Africa to “lay hands upon the many unwashed,” people actually pay attention to what’s happening there.

    But, yeah. I wanna see Jello write for the NYT. “Don’t hate the media… BECOME the media!” Done and done.

  • tiger

    Wait a minute, is Bono born-again? What’d i miss??

  • keepinitrealyo

    You know, it takes a little finessing but you can fit the lyrics to “On The Street Where You Live” from MY FAIR LADY into the melody of “Where the Streets Have No Name.” Here’s proof!

  • SwanSwanH

    [re=144931]Meth Lab for Cutie[/re]: Consulting NYT stylebook… “Mr. Hewson or Mr. Nazarenus, not Mr. Bono (cf. Sting.)”

  • SwanSwanH

    [re=144938]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: I think that shagging the King of Ireland is a marvelously typical for the Times.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=144916]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You forgot the most essential part: PROFIT!

  • WagTehGod

    I can’t believe the news today …

  • whiteasasheet

    [re=144917]StrangelyBrown[/re]: I’m glad SOMEONE is scouring the intertubes to keep a proper score for Cocktober. I think now it’s USA 3, Euros 1. USA! USA! USA!

  • lumpenprole

    Shoulda picked Willie Nelson.

  • Maus

    [re=144958]FMA[/re]: “Wait a minute! Bill Kristol is what passes for a “serious, respected conservative intellectual”?”

    Sarah Palin is what “passes” in Conservative society for all of those things.

  • blinky_twinkie

    [re=144953]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I think Cyndi Lauper would make a fabulous Style Editor (or at least an interesting one).

    I love U2. Rawr.

  • jodyleek

    I remember reading several years back that Bono installed an $8 million dollar
    pool at one of his homes.

    That kind of soured me on Mr. Vox and his charity gig.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    [re=144982]SwanSwanH[/re]: I’m confused by your vocabulary modification of my words, but happy for any attention I can get.

    Rest assured, however, that it’s a hard choice as to whose pompous, self-important musings on the world I’d like to read least Bill the Bloody’s or bloody Bono’s.

  • sezme

    On the plus side, for six exclusive shows, Nicholas Kristof will be fronting U2, so there’s that.

  • Hooray For Anything

    Just what the world needs- more Bono

  • JGB

    No alt text, no read

  • Lou

    Everyone needs to relax. Bono is awesome. Don’t take this out on him — take it out on the NYT. I doubt he was knocking down their door to write an op-ed column…

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=145019]jodyleek[/re]: It’s true, but he filled it with his own tears.

  • wheelie

    I always liked Bono’s remarks in Paris at the MTV music awards after the French resumed nuclear testing: “What a city! What a night! What a crowd! What a bomb! What a mistake! What a wanker you have for a President!”

  • Tawmn

    I’d like to hear what Emo Phillips has to say about all this.

  • slavojzizek

    He’s gotta be better than Dick Cavett!! (???) Has anyone anywhere ever clicked one single link to that guy’s postings or columns or whatever they are called (and yes, this is not a joke, they are on the New York Times online op-ed page).

  • problemwithcaring

    [re=144919]Chuck Fildren[/re]: Jolie’s already in the Post all the time preaching about how the troops she talks to don’t want to come home, but would rather help refugees: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/27/AR2008022702217.html.

  • WIDTAP

    My greatest concern on having an Irish rock star columnist is all of the run-on sentences.

  • Datsun510

    [re=144950]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: She is Apocalypstick.

  • qaf

    [re=145043]bitchincamaro[/re]: Win.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    What are the chances that Bono’s take on a world situation is more stimulating than the same old prose from a Kissinger or Brzezinski? Pretty good odds. Just as Emo’s take on Bono should be primo — and wouldn’t Emo be loverly in the NYT? He could write one-line columns.

  • blader

    I hear Drudge might be looking for work, maybe they can take him, especially if he brings along his fucking police strobe….that could really jazz up the NYT

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    Everything Bono does seems engineered to provide himself a larger, longer lasting career.

  • Scandalabra

    The old gray lady, she ain’t what she used to be…

  • greensprout

    [re=144903]Bostoprov[/re]: Dear Sir Bono. Stop. How dost thou operate the telegramophone whilst wearing gentlemen’s tinted spectacles. Stop.