Wonkette
Remember how Barack Obama went on Ellen that one time, and then his wife went on, and then yesterday he went on again and proved through his dancing that he is indeed half white? Well, here is the new footage. Also: midway through we see a photograph of a young Obama in a pirate costume (for Halloween, a pagan holiday), an image which spontaneously impregnated thousands of American women with tiny pirate-babies. [YouTube]
Let it hereby be acknowledged: Barack Obama is Ellen’s dancing poodle. All that’s missing is the tu tu.
I think AngryBlak should send Ellen his masterpiece dance-off, that’ll settle it…
Dance for us! Dance, monke-
….
Ooohhh. Um. *cough* Nevermind.
Can I just say that I love Sasha Obama. Really love the girl. She seems so cute and sneaky and mischievous. She’s going to be the best first daughter ever! Corpse Bride? Hell yes!
You can see Barry holding in the moves. In his head he’s like, “Must dance like Lawrence Welk. Must not scare whitey. Must not drop it like it is hot”.
Interesting fact: Oprah can’t dance either. Someone should conduct a study on non-threatening black people and their lack of rhythm.
This brother has soul
Actually, I would like to see Walnuts respond to that clip.
John McCain was a great dancer in his time! He once fell 8000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. But people were tougher in those times. He was jitterbuggin’ that very night!
This reminds me how badly I want to see WALNUTS! and Cindz take a twirl on the dance floor. I bet Cindy was a total disco queen with the tight pants and cocaine to prove it. It looks like her hair would feather well. Sigh.
NoWireHangers: Although, now that I think of it, Will Smith might thwart my theory.
Off-camera, he was crip-walking like a straight G.
Barry IS delicious though, no?
fuckinredneck: “I wish I could dance, but I was a prisoner in the Nam for five and-a-half years!!!”
EVIL FAIRY FOR PRESIDENT
NoWireHangers: It’s been done
http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=5028
NoWireHangers:
Someone tried to show it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izLmuHMjIWM&feature=related
Well, he’s no Dubya, but he’ll do.
I’d put Obama as a 2 on the blackness scale
10 - Notorious BIG
9
8 - Samuel L Jackson
7
6 - Kobe Bryant
5
4 - Will Smith
3
2.5 - Eminem
2 - Barack Obama
1
0 - Bryant Gumble
Christastic: I love the Obamas so much. They are superlatively charming people.
I think I’m becoming a true believer in physiognomy. Compare and contrast the Obamas and their kids with the walking McCorpses and the Palins. I know who I’m votin for!
So sad. He dances like a Log Cabin Republican.
mattbolt: Where’s Michael Jackson or is he in another category of “black men who literally turned white”?
Okay, I think this one appearance might have officially Put It In The Bag for Hopey.
I think we can all start singing this in the streets now:
http://thejamesrocket.com/thejamesrocket_files/donutsandbacon.mp3
OK. Dork-in-Chief. Whatevs. We should cut him some slack for being under pressure and all. It’s hard to get your Groove on as I well know. Also, he’s in Florida. How the hell can you get your Groove on in Florida for the love of Plastic Jesus?
Do the white man’s overbite!
That last sentence up there? Yeah, it totally happened to me.
Much better effort this time out. Much less Elaine Benes with the arms.
Not the only one making fool of hisself.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/cc65ed650d
mattbolt: Please - Kobe Bryant speaks Italian and didn’t really get black ’til he caught a rape case in Colorado. Barack’s alcoholic daddy abandoned him and his pregant mama, plus he married a girl from the ‘hood. He is clearly a 6 or 7. Didn’t you get the updated “Who’s Black Now?” diagram in last month’s Jet?
mattbolt: Would you mind breaking down the science behind your “scale” for us? Obama falls in between Gumbel and Eminem? At Zero is Gumbel so not black that he’s white or is he not white but not black (enough for you)? What about Eminem? Is black despite his whiteness, like essentially black beneath his superficial whiteness or are you giving him style points for being so convincingly black (enough for you) for a white guy? And how exactly do you measure folks for this scale? I mean, on Barry’s behalf let me just ask “what’s a brother got to do to be black enough for mattbolt?” And another question: In a Palin/Romney administration would mattbolt accept an appointment as Secretary of Defense Against Miscegeny?
First mattbolt and now problemwithcaring. I hope the editors see where this is heading.
mattbolt: 3 = Wayne Brady
nowirehangers with the wins!
Paterlanger: Hey, I was tryin to illustrate the innate stupidity of judging someone blackness. My apologies if I wasn’t stupid enough for you!
OMG! I finally found who dances worst than I do!!!!!!!
Paterlanger: Dude, it’s wonkette, nothing’s serious, everything’s sarcastic, etc.
mattbolt: So, where would you put Wayne Brady?
Texan Bulldoggette: Michael Jackson has deformed African features.
a-petit dejeuner: Wayne Brady is black?
John McCain hates pirates…
Saying that he wishes his cute little girls were bloody and gross was gaffe-tacular.
Oh my god, what a lovable dork.
Congrats Wonkette: This post got linked on the LA Times Blog Site!: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/babylonbeyond/2008/10/syria-whats-beh.html