OCTOBER SURPRISE  2:05 pm October 23, 2008

Barack Obama Again Dances In Slightly Embarrassed Manner On ‘Ellen’

by Sara K. Smith

Remember how Barack Obama went on Ellen that one time, and then his wife went on, and then yesterday he went on again and proved through his dancing that he is indeed half white? Well, here is the new footage. Also: midway through we see a photograph of a young Obama in a pirate costume (for Halloween, a pagan holiday), an image which spontaneously impregnated thousands of American women with tiny pirate-babies. [YouTube]

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Serolf Divad October 23, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Let it hereby be acknowledged: Barack Obama is Ellen’s dancing poodle. All that’s missing is the tu tu.

freakishlystrong October 23, 2008 at 2:15 pm

I think AngryBlak should send Ellen his masterpiece dance-off, that’ll settle it…

mattbolt October 23, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Dance for us! Dance, monke-
Ooohhh. Um. *cough* Nevermind.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Can I just say that I love Sasha Obama. Really love the girl. She seems so cute and sneaky and mischievous. She’s going to be the best first daughter ever! Corpse Bride? Hell yes!

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 2:17 pm

You can see Barry holding in the moves. In his head he’s like, “Must dance like Lawrence Welk. Must not scare whitey. Must not drop it like it is hot”.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Interesting fact: Oprah can’t dance either. Someone should conduct a study on non-threatening black people and their lack of rhythm.

Larry Fine October 23, 2008 at 2:18 pm

This brother has soul

fuckinredneck October 23, 2008 at 2:19 pm

Actually, I would like to see Walnuts respond to that clip.

mattbolt October 23, 2008 at 2:19 pm

John McCain was a great dancer in his time! He once fell 8000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. But people were tougher in those times. He was jitterbuggin’ that very night!

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 2:19 pm

This reminds me how badly I want to see WALNUTS! and Cindz take a twirl on the dance floor. I bet Cindy was a total disco queen with the tight pants and cocaine to prove it. It looks like her hair would feather well. Sigh.

NoWireHangers October 23, 2008 at 2:20 pm

[re=144853]NoWireHangers[/re]: Although, now that I think of it, Will Smith might thwart my theory.

mattbolt October 23, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Off-camera, he was crip-walking like a straight G.

freakishlystrong October 23, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Barry IS delicious though, no?

Christastic October 23, 2008 at 2:23 pm

[re=144859]fuckinredneck[/re]: “I wish I could dance, but I was a prisoner in the Nam for five and-a-half years!!!”

naveed October 23, 2008 at 2:24 pm


Jerk Cade October 23, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=144853]NoWireHangers[/re]: It’s been done


ManchuCandidate October 23, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Someone tried to show it.


Gopherit October 23, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Well, he’s no Dubya, but he’ll do.

mattbolt October 23, 2008 at 2:30 pm

I’d put Obama as a 2 on the blackness scale
10 – Notorious BIG
8 – Samuel L Jackson
6 – Kobe Bryant
4 – Will Smith
2.5 – Eminem
2 – Barack Obama
0 – Bryant Gumble

fuckinredneck October 23, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=144872]Christastic[/re]: I love the Obamas so much. They are superlatively charming people.

I think I’m becoming a true believer in physiognomy. Compare and contrast the Obamas and their kids with the walking McCorpses and the Palins. I know who I’m votin for!

S.Luggo October 23, 2008 at 2:35 pm

So sad. He dances like a Log Cabin Republican.

Texan Bulldoggette October 23, 2008 at 2:36 pm

[re=144885]mattbolt[/re]: Where’s Michael Jackson or is he in another category of “black men who literally turned white”?

thejames October 23, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Okay, I think this one appearance might have officially Put It In The Bag for Hopey.

I think we can all start singing this in the streets now:

TGY October 23, 2008 at 2:38 pm

OK. Dork-in-Chief. Whatevs. We should cut him some slack for being under pressure and all. It’s hard to get your Groove on as I well know. Also, he’s in Florida. How the hell can you get your Groove on in Florida for the love of Plastic Jesus?

swarm of bees October 23, 2008 at 2:43 pm

Do the white man’s overbite!

StupidGeek October 23, 2008 at 2:55 pm

That last sentence up there? Yeah, it totally happened to me.

problemwithcaring October 23, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Much better effort this time out. Much less Elaine Benes with the arms.

WagTehGod October 23, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Not the only one making fool of hisself.


problemwithcaring October 23, 2008 at 3:14 pm

[re=144885]mattbolt[/re]: Please – Kobe Bryant speaks Italian and didn’t really get black ’til he caught a rape case in Colorado. Barack’s alcoholic daddy abandoned him and his pregant mama, plus he married a girl from the ‘hood. He is clearly a 6 or 7. Didn’t you get the updated “Who’s Black Now?” diagram in last month’s Jet?

Paterlanger October 23, 2008 at 3:15 pm

[re=144885]mattbolt[/re]: Would you mind breaking down the science behind your “scale” for us? Obama falls in between Gumbel and Eminem? At Zero is Gumbel so not black that he’s white or is he not white but not black (enough for you)? What about Eminem? Is black despite his whiteness, like essentially black beneath his superficial whiteness or are you giving him style points for being so convincingly black (enough for you) for a white guy? And how exactly do you measure folks for this scale? I mean, on Barry’s behalf let me just ask “what’s a brother got to do to be black enough for mattbolt?” And another question: In a Palin/Romney administration would mattbolt accept an appointment as Secretary of Defense Against Miscegeny?

Paterlanger October 23, 2008 at 3:17 pm

First mattbolt and now problemwithcaring. I hope the editors see where this is heading.

trondant October 23, 2008 at 3:18 pm

[re=144885]mattbolt[/re]: 3 = Wayne Brady

Deepthroat October 23, 2008 at 3:22 pm

nowirehangers with the wins!

problemwithcaring October 23, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=145008]Paterlanger[/re]: Hey, I was tryin to illustrate the innate stupidity of judging someone blackness. My apologies if I wasn’t stupid enough for you!

mcfrady October 23, 2008 at 3:40 pm

OMG! I finally found who dances worst than I do!!!!!!!

mattbolt October 23, 2008 at 4:07 pm

[re=145002]Paterlanger[/re]: Dude, it’s wonkette, nothing’s serious, everything’s sarcastic, etc.

a-petit dejeuner October 23, 2008 at 5:14 pm

[re=144885]mattbolt[/re]: So, where would you put Wayne Brady?

agitpropster October 23, 2008 at 6:27 pm

[re=144893]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Michael Jackson has deformed African features.

WIDTAP October 23, 2008 at 9:04 pm

[re=145313]a-petit dejeuner[/re]: Wayne Brady is black?

Deepthroat October 23, 2008 at 9:05 pm

John McCain hates pirates…

Sub_Standard October 24, 2008 at 12:15 am

Saying that he wishes his cute little girls were bloody and gross was gaffe-tacular.

thesycophant October 24, 2008 at 2:44 am

Oh my god, what a lovable dork.

SisterTruth October 27, 2008 at 1:26 am

Congrats Wonkette: This post got linked on the LA Times Blog Site!: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/babylonbeyond/2008/10/syria-whats-beh.html

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