Wonkette
Two jackasses in SUVs were in traffic leaving a Sarah Palin Klan Rally in Colorado on Monday when one, in a Kia, tried to pull ahead of the guy in the Chrysler. They yelled whatever at each other, then the Chrysler jackass pulled a loaded handgun on the other Palin loser. After he was arrested, the 62-year-old gun nut told the cops he “wanted to be ready for anything.” Jesus fucking christ, we all need to go buy a million guns this weekend, because these dingbats are going to go berserk on Election Night. [Post Independent]
He means he wanted to be ready incase Sarah Palin turned a full grown bull moose loose on the crowd, to get them in the mood to kill.
Well, to be fair, I point a handgun at a Kia whenever I see one. Its this era’s “slugbug.”
I warned you about this Ken. Go to the gun store now! If you wait until Nov. 4th you’ll be shit out of luck. By the the Redneck Vs. Liberul war will have begun it will be too late to arm yourself.
When did the “good people” of our small towns turn into Los Angelenos?
Guns don’t kill people, Palin rhetoric kills people.
Just have some ziplock bags of some white crystalline substance to wave. That should distract them long enough to make an escape.
This is why I don’t have an Obama/Biden bumpersticker on my car. I like Obama well enough, but not well enough to die at the hands of the insane.
What’s the issue? He’s just keeping crime down in the inner cities.
Isn’t Kia a Korean car maker? That’s not very American. What would Bible Spice think if she knew her supporters were anti-American?
jagorev:
Hey, I resemble that remark!
Who gets that mad about anybody cutting them off anymore? Road rage was soooo 15 years ago! Though I have to say that if these kinds of people are going to shoot anybody, I’m glad it’s their own ilk. Maybe that guy was mad that his fellow McCain-Palin nut didn’t buy American? COUNTRY FIRST!
Kill the pig, drink its blood…
Thank God for Darwin.
To be fair, it WAS a Kia SUV.
Also, and this is to Neilist, what does “racked the slide” mean? Sounds ominous.
In a couple weeks, Palin rallies will look exactly like Thunderdome.
I’m going to hide out in liberal Hollywood on Election Night. The power of gay abortionists will protect me. There will be showers of champagne and multi-racial orgies. Good luck to those of you in Bumblefuck, USA. (Get your bullet proof vests now)
Hell, in Florida, even us liberals drive armed. Never know when you’re gunna run into a gator while driving along side the swamp at night. Yes, they cross roads. No, I don’t mean the football fan type.
lumpenprole: Thank doG the election is in 12 days then! She’ll be back in Mooseville, where everyone is armed all the time.
>>these dingbats are going to go berserk on Election Night.
Not funny much.
GUYS IT GETS WORSE.
THE GUY WHO PULLED THE GUN WORKS FOR THE IRS.
http://www.google.com/search?num=30&hl=en&safe=off&q=Jack+B.+Cheskaty+IRS&btnG=Search
I’m buying stock in whoever makes Kevlar. It’s a sure thing!
Oh, speaking of nationalist rallies, the Obama black nationalist rally (with about 1000 black people out of 30K) in Leesburg, Va had the most lax security on earth.
Always love a Simpsons pic - who do you think Flanders supported in the primary, Romney or Huckabee?
Texan Bulldoggette: He’s a hard working American plumber, welder insert whatever blue collar American job here so he can’t afford a fancy car like a Ford. Also, he is incredibly stupid since he is attending a Palin rally to begin with.
lumpenprole: I was thinking Red Dawn
Palin-Plumber2012: who do you think Flanders supported in the primary, Romney or Huckabee?
Wrote in Jindall and prayed.
spencer: He must be one of those Bush TAX CUNTS McCain was speaking about . . .
I don’t carry a gun but I do carry a tennis ball with me everywhere I go. I do this cool trick where I go like I’m throwing the ball but then I just hide it behind my back. That gives me about 15 minutes to flee before they can get off a shot.
Palin-Plumber2012: Huck, for sure. Ned’s not too sure those Mormon’s love jeebus enough.
DHS TRANSCRIPT TO BE USED IN WAKE OF PALIN DEFEAT
This is the Department of Homeland Security. This country has been attacked by meth-fueled Palintards. Communications have been severely disrupted, and the number of casualties and the extent of the damage are not yet known. We shall bring you further information as soon as possible. Meanwhile, stay tuned to this wavelength, stay calm and stay in your own homes.
Remember there is nothing to be gained by trying to get away. By leaving your homes you could be exposing yourselves to greater danger. If you leave, you may find yourself without food, without water, without accommodation and without protection. Roofs and walls offer substantial protection. The safest place is indoors.
Make sure gas and other fuel supplies are turned off and that all fires are extinguished. If mains water is available, this can be used for fire-fighting. You should also refill all your containers for drinking alcohol after the fires have been put out, because the liquor store may not be available for very long.
Liquor must not be used for cooking: until you are told that the liquor store has been rebuilt, other flavor arrangements must be made. Use your alcohol only for essential drinking purposes. Booze means life. Don’t waste it.
Make your Cheetos last: ration your supply, because it may have to last for 14 days or more. If you have an open bag in the house, use this first to avoid wasting it: Cheetos in closed bags will keep.
If you live in an area where a Palintard warning has been given, stay in your Palin room until you are told it is safe to come out. When the immediate danger has passed the sirens will sound a steady note. The “all clear” message will also be given on this wavelength. If you leave the Palin room to go to the lavatory or replenish Cheetos or beer supplies, do not remain outside the room for a minute longer than is necessary. Do not, in any circumstances, go outside the house. Palintards can kill. If you go outside, you will bring danger to your family and you may die. Stay in your Palin room until you are told it is safe to come out or you hear the “all clear” on the sirens.
You know, this just might work. Tell the Floridians the day before the election Sarah Palin is going to appear at U-F, and then she’s going to take off her $150,000 wardrobe. Once the rubes have packed the place, lock the door. The attrition ought to give Hopey the Sunshine State by 5-8 points.
Why the worry Ken? The numbnuts will go crazy but it will be a circular firing squad similar to what happened in the mediocre movie, True Romance. Lots of shots fired, blood everywhere and bodies of dumbfucks everywhere.
It’s called an “El Paso County turn signal”, the .45 waving thru the drivers side window. It’s just a non-verbal way of saying, “Hey asshole, I’m merging here, dig?”
Seriously, I find the highway etiquette much better out here, where you got to figure there’s a good chance the granny you’re contemplating cutting off might be packin’.
starburst-induced psychosis w/residuals
***Breaking****
Sarah Palin scheduled to drop the puck at the Blues game on Friday.
That Kia threatened his manhood.
NoWireHangers: That’s not champaigne showers in West hollywood… that’s golden showers
4tehlulz: Y’know, other than a Simpsons pic, that’s about the the most useful information posted, thanks for that! Especially the booze thing…
Maybe this is Baby Jeebus’s way of thinning the herd…
Yup, sure as shit sounds like “Real America” to me. Christ. To think that there are millions of these people EVERYWHERE.
I’ve always suspected a Palin rally could easily turn into Lord of the Flies - too much hate and too many gun lovers whipped into a patriotic frenzy and confined in a small space. I hope they start handing out weapons at the door so they do each other in before Election Day.
On the night of November 4th, it’s going to be the liberals clinging to their gunz-n-religion. I know living in Alabama, I’m gonna be sleeping with one eye open and a sawed-off shotgun. To fend off all the repug zombie riots.
Palin-Plumber2012: Flanders is a paultard. You can tell by the moustachio.
Texan Bulldoggette: She doesn’t mind Korean cars, since she can actually see Korea from her house.
lumpenprole: Exactly.
“Right now, I’ve got two men — two men with a gut full of fear.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls… dyin’ time is here.”
“Remember where you are - this is Thunderdome. Death is listening, and will take the first man that screams.”
messickc: …or at least clinging to their guns.
OK, OK. Just want to be sure I’m reading this clearly. You’re saying it’s NOT alright to draw down and put three rounds in the 10-ring if a guy dents my Camaro?
That man better enjoy the feel of cold steel in his hands while he can, before that evil Muslin Socialist takes away all the guns, selects every member of The Village People to the Supreme Court and forces schools to turn our kids gay. Sodom and Gomorrha will have nothing on the US of A in 2012 with that anti-American terrorist at the helm. God bless Caribou Barbie (shoots gun in the air)!
I’m really surprised everyone wasn’t pointing guns out the window and firing into the air.
NoWireHangers: I’m going to hide out in liberal Hollywood on Election Night.
Nov. 4th they’re setting up border checkpoints in Hollywood, if you don’t have the proper papers then you’ll have to gain entry into our fine city like William Burroughs did entering into Annexia.
JeffGoldblum: My dog could figure that one out, but the average Palin supporter should give you at least 30 minutes lead time.
What have is the birth of factionalism within the Palin camp, between those who favor shopping at Neiman Marcus versus those who prefer making their purchases at Saks. Beware. Such divisions are what destroyed the French Revolution.
DarkSynergy: Thank god I live in Chicago, the most Anti-American of cities full of terrorist-loving liberal hippie socialists and home to Barack Hussein Obama. At least up here, there’ll be safety in numbers from the Republizombies. I’m doing my part by assembling a stockpile of Right-Wing zombie repellant- a slew of banned books, a stockpile of Mifepristone and a whole heaping helping of level-headed, good old-fashioned common sense.
gjdodger: Yeah, but ….ah, tell them the entire GATOR team will be there to cheer her on, and you’ll have a full house. Better yet, include “free beer” and say Jeebus might show too. That will cover all your R bases except the Cubans. If we tell them Fidel died, they’ll be so busy celebrating they’ll forget to vote.
Smokey, this is not ‘Nam, this is a book burning, there are rules.
OUTER-CITY CRIME SOARS WHEN GUNS AREN’T BANNED.
hockeymom:
Sarah Palin scheduled to drop the puck at the Blues game on Friday.
I guess nobody told them that the Flyers haven’t a game in the six tries since Palin dropped the puck at their season opener.
She is kind of the anti-Kate Smith (insider hockey reference).
middleamerican: Welcome to the world of Fake America! I always thought of Chicago as a pretty centrist city, so I’m surprised to see it in the same column as San Francisco, Hell-A, Noo Yawk, etc..
So happy to know that Hot Doug’s is a hot bed for communism as well as deliciousnessism.
Didn’t someone ask Gidget what was her favorite amendment, 1 or 2 and she answered, ‘2′?
Or was that just some sort of intertubulegoogle snark we saw somewhere
hockeymom: To pull the slide back, which puts a round in the firing chamber.
Roger Mexico, Actuary: Presumably if a Poisson distribution can describe rockets falling on London, it can just as well describe the starburst distribution across Fox News’ demographic.
Oh, be fair. He didn’t actually shoot. It was a fellow conservative, after all.
fuckinredneck: I guess I just assumed that any right-wing, bible-thumping foaming-at-the-mouth type would always put Chicago in the “Anti-American/Commie” column. My god, we have Boystown, a whole neighborhood that celebrates the “depraved, sinful lifestyle” of The Gays, and in the city, you can’t even protect yourself from all those scary “That Ones” with a semi-automatic or handgun, as they’ve been banned in Chicago since 1982 by those evil left-wing hippie liberals.
And anyone who’s anyone knows that The Weiner Circle is the unofficial Commie hangout, not Hot Doug’s. Your liberal handbook must be out of date
I saw Fatty Arbuckle waving a coke bottle out the window of his lime green Crown Vic.
Seem Palin’s fans are the definition of a self-correcting problem.
This guy was going to shoot somebody that agreed with him? He was just defending his home. Well, his family. Well, his SUV. Well, the Kia is built by Muslins in Korea, and you can never be too careful.
Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin: to be faithful to the law of parsimony, starburst effects can probably be accounted for 100% by the concurrence of nice hair, costly makeup, winking, and millions of unresolved oedipal complexes. the poisson distribution does a better job of modelling the instances in which palin forms complete and meaningful sentences, and it doesn’t even matter because she is actually a clandestine lacanian trying to make a point about language and the unconscious because she cares about america.
You can take guns to a Palin rally?
Oops. I meant:
You can take guns to a Palin rally. Yes, you can.
Roger Mexico, Actuary: Did I ever doubt your lacanian linguistics?
You never did.
The Kenosha Kid.
Nikolai Vsevolodovich Stavrogin: !!!!!!!!! i think that’s my favorite conceit in the whole book.
longjohnson: Cuntry first.