IN WHAT RESPECT CHARLIE?  11:50 pm October 22, 2008

Can the McCain Campaign Explain Palin’s Bizarre Veep Ideas? (No)

by Ken Layne


This is painful: Chris Matthews spends nine minutes trying to get a straight answer out of McCain spokeslady Nancy Pfotenhauer — she of “Real Virginia” fame. And Nancy makes a fool of herself, because the only other option is to say, “Yes, Chris, for fuck’s sake, we all know Palin’s an idiot, so can we move on? Is it Election Day yet? Can I have my cocktail now?” [YouTube/DailyKos]

 
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{ 93 comments }

ManchuCandidate October 22, 2008 at 11:54 pm

Looks like Nance’s been sneaking drugs from Cindy’s stash or her body’s been taken over by the ass forked and brimstone singed soul of Tony Snow.

shortsshortsshorts October 22, 2008 at 11:55 pm

I love video night at Wonkette with moderator Kenneth Layne, SR.

trondant October 22, 2008 at 11:58 pm

Aristotle was not Belgian.

The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.”

The London Underground is not a political movement.

The Vice-President is not in charge of the Senate.

WagTehGod October 23, 2008 at 12:02 am

Tweety’s been on fire the past month. The bonus for him is Pfotenhaur looked ready to give him some hate sex by the end of it.

Kinbote October 23, 2008 at 12:07 am

American Bukkake, Tweety-style. I love how Matthews asks Bill Burton if he wants to step up and git some and he all like whoa no no no yer doin’ righteously fine braw and then out comes the executive producer and the sound guy and two oompaloompas and the fursuiters and its like a tsunami all of a sudden that smells like bleach and throughout Pfotenhauer never loses that narcosmile. You just have to respect her professionalism.

SloppyCronkite October 23, 2008 at 12:07 am

Whoa there Nancy, 5 kids?

She must like sex.

slinkimalinki October 23, 2008 at 12:08 am

i loved watching the gradual journey from smirk to grimace. pfotenhaur will be as glassy-eyed as cindy by the end of this.

I Haz A Rez Erection October 23, 2008 at 12:08 am

I have nothing to add aside from after 99.47 1/2 tries my Wonkette FINALLY sent me an actual confirmation email. Hooray for everything.

Carry on.

MrsNateSilver October 23, 2008 at 12:09 am

I hate this woman more than you can imagine, but it’s still painful to watch Chris put the smackdown on her. I knew Nancy was excruciatingly awful when she and Carville were on with Wolfy B to talk about Palin when she was first picked. Carville criticized the pick because Palin was a nobody with no experience and Nancy Pants said, “I don’t think women across America will appreciate that you are underestimating her abilities because she’s a woman. She has executive experience and she has Russia as a neighbor.” And from then on I knew this bitch was evil. So its with mixed glee and cringing that I watch her get her bumbum handed to her by Cantankerous Chris.

Kinbote October 23, 2008 at 12:11 am

[re=144108]trondant[/re]: “But can an ape read Nietzsche?”

“Yes he can, Otto, he just doesn’t understand it.”

Datsun510 October 23, 2008 at 12:11 am

I watched this live in absolute shock. I thought TingleLeg was going to magically reach through the Brady Bunch box and start slapping Poopenheffer, ” Listen! To! Me! Apocalypstick is an IDIOT! Say It! Say It!”

Kaylub October 23, 2008 at 12:12 am

Well, I was kinda…um…excited by all the “mms,” “tch,” and “huhs” she was making throughout the whole time when others were talking….

Johnny Zhivago October 23, 2008 at 12:13 am

It’s not a successful interview on Hardball unless somebody leaves crying.

slinkimalinki October 23, 2008 at 12:14 am

also, “i like the jacket but it’s what’s under the jacket that’s the problem.”? what does matthews have against palin’s boobies?

shortsshortsshorts October 23, 2008 at 12:15 am

The role of the Vice President has changed in the last 8 years. Now the Vice President has to extend the Executive Branch, and cover the misgivings of the President. The Vice President has to be there, writing policy at 3 a.m., when he (or she) has to drive for the moran at the wheel. The Vice President is in charge of the Senate, because we need Executive OUTREACH. Cheney knows what you people need, and Palin merely wants to follow blindly in those patriotic steps. You people don’t understand how hard it is to create a dictatorship. You people don’t understand the recent legacy of freedom. Palin may be too much of an idiot to understand what a Veep does, but at least she knows how to take the ball and run with it. God bless ‘merica.

Datsun510 October 23, 2008 at 12:15 am

[re=144117]MrsNateSilver[/re]: You love FiveThirtyEight so much you married it?

Texas2Step October 23, 2008 at 12:16 am

This is a video that never gets old. I’m sorry, but Nancy Poopenfeffer loves turtlenecks WAY too much. That and high collars. It’s like she’s constantly trying to hide a hickey.

Bill Burton just LOVES seeing Matthews take Puttiflopper apart; the grin wraps all the way around to the back of his head.

It’s going to be a long 13 days….

trondant October 23, 2008 at 12:17 am

[re=144125]slinkimalinki[/re]: His flaccid cock?

TeddyS October 23, 2008 at 12:17 am

The Constitutiion plainly states in Article III, Section V, Paragraph 2, Line 4 (as revised) that Sarah and Nancy must have nine minutes of lesbian sex on Hardball after the election, with Tweety calling them filthy sluts.

Words October 23, 2008 at 12:18 am

Been trying to tell my local group that this “little ole sweet thang” from Alaska is Ambitious Beyond what Cheney ever thought of doing. She wants to be Empress of the Universe, and she has the garb to do it– all that’s lacking is the crown. Oh, wait a minute, Dianna of Wales!! She’s not using her tiara— surely she’ll let our Gal-in-Waitin’ use it; hell, she’s just gonna “borrow” it, and then as a tax write-off, “give it to charity”.

Datsun510 October 23, 2008 at 12:19 am

[re=144125]slinkimalinki[/re]: Right. I thought, ” He’s abusing this chick, and now he’s making fun of the other one’s breasts.”

Gob October 23, 2008 at 12:20 am

Why doesn’t Chris Matthews want her to take off her jacket? What’s wrong with him.

Ken Layne October 23, 2008 at 12:21 am

[re=144116]I Haz A Rez Erection[/re]: Oh jesus. Our apologies — the commenting system is run by broken robots beneath the Black Sea, and nobody even answers our emails anymore. Or, I should say, no robot.

FatCog October 23, 2008 at 12:22 am

That old white dude was a bit condescending to ms fuckenwhateva, but I think his overriding message is accurate. How come the GOP couldn’t dig up a cliffs notes of the constitution? evena 30 yeard old dog eared copy would suffice.

HuskyMescan October 23, 2008 at 12:23 am

“By the way, I like the red leather jacket. But muthafuckin problem is underneath it.”
Hahahaha, tweety, my man.

Roger Mexico, Actuary October 23, 2008 at 12:23 am

every female around john mccain looks like the chiaroscuro drawing of a breast-feeding mother from those nazi pro-natalist lithographs.

Words October 23, 2008 at 12:23 am

[re=144118]Kinbote[/re]:

and a hundred monkeys can actually write Nietzsche’s work— hell, a moron gets lucky every once in a while (yes I took Stix, altho years ago)…

Lascauxcaveman October 23, 2008 at 12:26 am

[re=144114]SloppyCronkite[/re]: I assumed Nancy was referring to Palin and her five kids.

[re=144116]I Haz A Rez Erection[/re]: Welcome, friend (Ken, ban this asshole already, Jeez!)

slinkimalinki October 23, 2008 at 12:29 am

[re=144133]Datsun510[/re]: either that or he seriously sees himself in that jacket.

shortsshortsshorts October 23, 2008 at 12:29 am

You best say somethin’ on teh range of teh funnies, der I Haz a Rez Erection, or the Lord will destroy you.

accidental_tourist October 23, 2008 at 12:31 am

They are the two Repub mouthpieces I despise the sight of, so it was with a vicarious thrill that I watched Tweety send them packing within mere days of each other. I think the next girl to take the hot seat should be Sean Hannity. The absolute highlight of the past 17 months was when Ron Paul supporters threw a few snowballs, making him tearfully frightened for his life.

Lascauxcaveman October 23, 2008 at 12:36 am

[re=144145]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Actually his screen name itself is kinda funny. (Best since Trohpy(forparticipation)wife, I think. So there is some potential for funny there.

Either that or he reads a lot of Sherman Alexie short stories.

Datsun510 October 23, 2008 at 12:37 am

[re=144126]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Win.
Why are any of these right wing surrogates subjecting themselves to this any longer? Don’t they know it’s over? Are they being paid gigantic stacks of cash? Otherwise they should just real quicklike switch sides, and hope nobody notices. “You’re right, TingleLeg, Apocalypstick is a dangerous, bad joke. Bill Burton, jump in here. How can you possibly defend Caribou Barbie’s words?”

floofy October 23, 2008 at 12:51 am

Nancy’s response after walking out of the studio and getting into her car: “F**K F**K F**K! Baby Jesus, what did I did to deserve this punishment???”

druranium October 23, 2008 at 12:58 am

The name is Poopenheifer. And it’s neat that she borrowed one of Cindy’s $5k Star Trek outfits for this appearance.

Baconcat October 23, 2008 at 1:00 am

[re=144131]TeddyS[/re]: no, no, no. Somebody has to go dyke on michelle bernard. I have no business desiring that woman as much as I do, but I have Jury’s bar fantasies about picking her up.

shortsshortsshorts October 23, 2008 at 1:09 am

[re=144151]Datsun510[/re]: But “Tingleleg” is going against HeilBachmann! He can’t be behind Mooselini! There are important matters to remember here. Bill Burton… well. but “Tingleleg,” sir, is a friend. He’s the guy that shows up at 2:00 a.m., late to the party, but everybody sleeps well.

Untruthiness October 23, 2008 at 1:18 am

I absolutely creamed over the whipped, tired look on her face at 8:00. Worth the price admission (previous 8 minutes)!

fuckinredneck October 23, 2008 at 1:36 am

One day Nancy Pfotenhauer’s practiced, glued-on smile will refuse to appear on her face.

She’ll try all her old tricks to make it happen, sitting in front of a mirror straining her mouth like Dirk Diggler trying to massage a long-dead boner into existence.

“COME ON!!!” she’ll growl at herself in a half-grimace, “COME ON, GOD DAMMIT!”

But her lips will remain limp, lifeless, killed by all the lies.

SayItWithWookies October 23, 2008 at 1:53 am

Butter kicks hot knife’s ass. Story at eleven.

Gliblord October 23, 2008 at 1:58 am

[re=144185]fuckinredneck[/re]: Actually, that’s the exact reason she shoots her lips up with the botox. But before long the guilt will mount so high she’ll need to inject the bacteria into her brain and hope it eats away at whatever flickering clump of nerves monitors morality.

tonehedge October 23, 2008 at 2:13 am

Once, twice, who’s going to be number three?
There’s nothing better than watching neoturds getting their panties handed to them after a good probing.
Republicans are too proud in their dietary consumption of bullshit to know when they are making asses of themselves.

MrsNateSilver October 23, 2008 at 2:15 am

[re=144127]Datsun510[/re]: Yes. 4eva. Number crunching is ho-o-ot.

Grimnir October 23, 2008 at 2:16 am

There is a VP office in the Senate. If you can find it, and there is proof that Cheney can find it, then I tip my hat to you. Cause I couldn’t tell you where it is and I’ve spent quite a bit of time dodging tours on all levels.

aleks October 23, 2008 at 2:37 am

[re=144125]slinkimalinki[/re]: Andrew Sullivan seems oddly obsessed with Palin’s boobs.

Sire Says October 23, 2008 at 2:37 am

Maybe I am too far gone in the tank, but is Bill Burton kind of hot?

WhatTheHeck October 23, 2008 at 2:58 am

John McGramps hasn‘t yet figured out he has hooked into Alaska’s, no, the world’s Deadliest catch in Palin.
And there ain’t no Dutch Harbor for him to pull into, to get away from that idiot with the brains of a crab.

Ye be doomed captn.

LeastValuablePlayer October 23, 2008 at 3:17 am

An anti-McCain argument even Sarah Palin could understand…in humorous cartoon form!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjomYMe6t_U

mc_frontalot October 23, 2008 at 3:27 am

Well! It’s clear after three different iterations that Palin does believe there to exist some kind of constitutional authority beyond what’s been exercised historically by the VP. She said it in the debate, in that windy outdoor Fox interview, and now as if to a 3rd grader. She thinks it’s a matter of the VP’s choice; that’s what she keeps saying. But by the way she repeats it, I think she’s been coached to push that idea, even though she and we and her elite handlers know it’s not factual. It sounds to me like it’s meant to be part of their divided houses argument — a suggestion to the low-info types that she’ll have some control over the Senate’s functioning (which is attractive if you are part of the base that likes her better than you like ‘nuts and wishes she were the one up for the office of veto-er). Usually this kind of bullshit just floats right by — it is nice that it has turned into a pounce-worthy gaffe and is getting debunked by the teevee people. They should have pounced hard the first couple times. I think they only landed on this one because they can edit off the front of the answer where she makes clear that she’s about to start addressing a small child directly, which leaves them with a clip where she sounds like she’s mentally disabled. Which is hilarious, and is everybody’s favorite kind of Palin clip.

Speaking of teevee people, that Chris Matthews fellow continues to be a braying jackass and I don’t think he’s doing the Democrats any favors by bullying that skinny blond lying Republican lady.

zetetic October 23, 2008 at 3:52 am

[re=144108]trondant[/re]: B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-brilliant!

Crow T. Robot October 23, 2008 at 3:59 am

I want ya all to know I read almost all the way through every goddamn one of these replies, and it was my intention to be looking at porn.

That’s a compliment.

& now, porn.

lumpenprole October 23, 2008 at 4:15 am

It’s the Curse of Baghdad Bob. Only when every American who ever laughed at Baghdad Bob is forced to stammer helplessly like that, shall we be freed from the horrible spell.

BobLoblawLawBlog October 23, 2008 at 4:44 am

[re=144108]trondant[/re]: Took the words right out of my mouth.

“Apes don’t read the Constitution.”

“Yes, they do. They just don’t understand it.”

BobLoblawLawBlog October 23, 2008 at 4:45 am

[re=144118]Kinbote[/re]: Well, shit, everybody’s beating me to everything today. Curse this European time zone!!!

CooterMarie October 23, 2008 at 4:47 am

Poopenheifer always looks (and sometimes sounds with her grunts and groans) as if she has just filled her drawers with diarrhea. That creepy grin- as if she has just sharted and is deeply disturbed at what she may be sitting in, but is pretending all is well. She is horrifying, but I cannot turn away.

MC_Bob October 23, 2008 at 5:13 am

[re=144114]SloppyCronkite[/re]:

Or maybe she doesn’t like birth control

gurukalehuru October 23, 2008 at 5:50 am

A normally sensitive human being can’t help but feeling a bit sorry for Ms. Hassenpfeffer. It’s sort of like watching somebody pull the wings off a fly. A rather attractive and sympathetic fly. Then I remember that she, and Dana Perino, and a lot of TV news anchor ladies, are the ones putting a nice face on the rape of the constitution, the looting of the national treasury by a handful of Plutocrats, and the extermination of anybody who isn’t white and christian, and I get over it.
I hope the Poofterhoser cried herself to sleep last night.

Fear of a Black Reagan October 23, 2008 at 6:57 am

[re=144113]Kinbote[/re]: Win.

Fear of a Black Reagan October 23, 2008 at 7:01 am

[re=144215]mc_frontalot[/re]: This isn’t a gaffe. She’s been briefed on this junk by Cheneyites who think the vice president should have the kind of monarchical authority over the legislative branch that the president supposedly has over the executive. Cheney’s known to sign letters as “Dick Cheney, President of the Senate”. Nuff said.

That shit’s even scarier than Nancy Pfotenhauer’s “Yes yes tweety do it to me more, for the Real Virginia” rictus grin.

Anita Cocktail October 23, 2008 at 7:11 am

[re=144114]SloppyCronkite[/re]: naw, she’s a republican. can’t have birth control or abortions.

Anita Cocktail October 23, 2008 at 7:13 am

[re=144185]fuckinredneck[/re]: and the botox.

teebob2000 October 23, 2008 at 7:35 am

I saw it live and it was really brutal. I expected the Baroness von Pfuffenstuffenstein to cry, really. I kinda felt sorry for her, until I remembered her true, evil secret identity.

http://www.negativespace.net/wildcat/Mars_Attacks1.jpg

specialed October 23, 2008 at 7:48 am

My wife, a blonde, said. That woman is why all these damn jokes exist!

bc October 23, 2008 at 8:02 am

Almost sad, if it wasn’t so bloody pathetic. I kind of expected poopenheifer’s head to start spinning around and begin to spit out obsenities and pea soup.

monty October 23, 2008 at 8:15 am

[re=144127]Datsun510[/re]: my first car was a 210 canary yellow ’77

Scooter October 23, 2008 at 8:18 am

We prolly have only a couple more weeks to make fun of spokesliar von Pfuffenstuffenstein [thanks teebob]. Meanwhile I’m hoping that my name for her, Pfootenarscher, gets traction too. I wonder if her five spawn sit around a pentagon-shaped dinner table? And do they look like bobble-head dolls too?

braamer October 23, 2008 at 8:31 am

There is something, is it just disturbing, or more sinister, that many of the Republican spokespeople in this time of disillusionment with the party are pretty women. Pfotenhauer, Bachmann, Perino, Palin. I get a sickening feeling we are living the struggle between Sam Spade and Brigid O’Shaughnessy.
Someone is messing with our dreams!

Neilist October 23, 2008 at 8:38 am

Snow, Perrino nor Pfotenhauer should be allowed to appear on television without Don Henley’s “Dirty Laundry” playing the background:

“The bubble-headed bleach blonde comes on at 5,
Tells you ’bout the plane crash with a tear in her eye.
It’s interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry.”

And the line about “Did they do the operation, is the head dead yet?,” clearly is a reference to WALNUTS.

middleamerican October 23, 2008 at 9:16 am

Awesome- it’s like a deer with bad plastic surgery caught in headlights.

(seriously, am I the only one who thinks that when she went in for rhinoplasty, she said “I want the ‘Whacko Jacko’ model?”)

gradgrind October 23, 2008 at 9:28 am

[re=144253]braamer[/re]: But that one ended well — Miss O’Shaughnessy got the chair! Technically for murder, but really for her lying, lying, simpering, lying ways. May justice be served again.

ph7 October 23, 2008 at 9:32 am

Never really understand why the GOP likes to use spokeswomen who look like ice-queen country club wives. The country club men are already voting for whatever cannibal the GOP nominates, but the rest of America just see Stepword wive sorority bitches.

Min October 23, 2008 at 9:36 am

Why does that skinny blonde twit still have a job? Yeesh.

The Neoskeptic October 23, 2008 at 9:45 am

i’d still do her.

snig October 23, 2008 at 9:46 am

Tweety the Tenacious knows the Fourth Estate’s gig. If we did the knighthood thing, he should be dubbed Sir Tweety the Tenacious.

I wonder what constitutional powers are imagined for the husband of the vice-president? Since husbands of governors can review private documents and fire state employees, maybe he’ll be in charge of firing US attorneys who are disloyal or anti-American.

snig October 23, 2008 at 9:49 am

[re=144151]Datsun510[/re]: They’re sticking around cause the shopping perk is fabulous. They know they’re not going to win, but there’s no reason they can’t get a few outfits out of it.

thefrontpage October 23, 2008 at 9:58 am

What Palin didn’t mention are these other official duties of the Vice President of the United States:

1. He manages the White House Kitchen.

2. He manages the Office of White House Protocol.

3. He manages the secretive National Intelligence Agency (NIA), a division of the Executive Branch, that sends clandestine spy teams to rough spots to wipe out terrorists, rogues, operatives, insurgents, gangsters, spies, ruffians, arms traffickers, drug dealers, murderers, mobsters, villians, dictators, gunrunners, pirates and jewel thieves.

4. He manages the White House Gift Shoppe.

snig October 23, 2008 at 9:59 am

[re=144323]thefrontpage[/re]: And he’s also supposed to help with raking and snow shoveling, cause those are big jobs.

Gopherit v2.0 October 23, 2008 at 10:05 am

Tweety did a cannonball into the tank. Wel done.

lazynamepicker October 23, 2008 at 10:25 am

Is it me, or does Nancy Poopenhoffer look like she went too far with the nose job?

TGY October 23, 2008 at 10:26 am

I tried to look ol’ Nancy up on Wikipedia, since I have the hots for her and all, but all I found was ‘Friedrich Pfotenhauer’ (president of the Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod from 1911-1935) and all I could think of how awful it was to be called ‘Friedrich Pfotenhauer’. That’s just asking for it. Don’t Lutheran’s love their children?

binarian October 23, 2008 at 10:35 am

Yeah she’s a professional alright. Professional masochist. What drug and how much of it would it take to get the average person to sit through 8 minutes and 32 seconds of being told “Your boss is an IDIOT!!!! And YOUR an idiot for working for her!!!”.

S.Luggo October 23, 2008 at 11:37 am

[re=144358]TGY[/re]: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nancy_Pfotenhauer
The socialist/terrorist/fembot fingerprints are all over the Wiki article. Catch it while you can.

S.Luggo October 23, 2008 at 11:40 am

Matthews, you’re an idiot. The role of the Vice President is to:
1. Smile
2. Wear nice clothes
3. Have many chidren
4. Destroy the innocent

Datsun510 October 23, 2008 at 12:19 pm

[re=144249]monty[/re]: ’69 wagon, 4 speed stick. Which sounds like porn.

Sangwi Ddong Chim October 23, 2008 at 12:30 pm

Why did Tweety have to go and make that nice lady cry?

Itsjustme October 23, 2008 at 12:32 pm

[re=144243]specialed[/re]: The Cunt jokes? From a blonde to your wife. She is not listed as a blonde, Nancy Farthammer is listed as a cunt.

iolanthe October 23, 2008 at 1:18 pm

[re=144355]lazynamepicker[/re]: The nose job isn’t so bad. But I was thinking that she needs to fire the person who did her upper lip. She’d look better with her real face.

DemmeFatale October 23, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Tweety, I’m so proud of you!
Now, (don’t just leave it to The Daily Show), destroy this “real America” meme.

kirkaracha October 23, 2008 at 1:46 pm

It’s pronounced “Hfuhruhurr.”

CooterMarie October 23, 2008 at 2:07 pm

Nancy Poopenpecker looks (and occasionally sounds, with her awkward grunting and groaning) as if she has just eaten 3 bags of “WOW!” chips and has dumped a load in her pants. That creepy smile, we’ve all had it, when we’ve feared we have just sharted, or as Reese in “Malcolm in the Middle” so quaintly put it, “gambled and lost”, and are trying to pretend all is cool until we can get to the bathroom.

huffybike October 23, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Cathangover October 23, 2008 at 4:30 pm

Seriously, Bill Burton is having the motherfucking Best Time.

heathenish October 23, 2008 at 8:05 pm

if you ask dick cheney the role of US vp is to rule the fucking world, but before him, i don’t think the vp did much, except wait to be able to run for pres. but dick has changed EVERYTHING, so no wonder princess sarah is confused, she can’t say “be like dick and rule the world”. i hear the gop told her, “your job it to sit in the front row and look pretty!”

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