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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Sarah Palin: Concerned Linguist

  • McCain’s wife-swapping stunt: Will it work? [Princess Sparkle Pony]
  • Add $13 thousand in makeup per month—a sum that could buy several, if not many, lipsticks—to Sarah Palin’s $700 billion fashion bailout. [The Sleuth]
  • White supremacists are getting so bored of all their Nazi regalia, which means the RNC should give them $150k to go to Neiman’s too. [Fresh Intelligence]
  • Al-Qaeda says it will support J. Hussein McCain in the election and hinted that there might be Terror (or allusions to such) to help him win. [Matthew Yglesias]
  • Well, well look who’s suddenly so particular about the intended meanings of words corresponding to their usage! It’s Palin! She hates the name “Trooper-Gate” and would prefer that you refer to her gross abuses of power by their Christian name: “Taser-Gate.” [The Caucus]
  • Your teevee can tell all your despicable partisan biases based on whether you like that show about the monster trucks jumping over sharks or that show about how ice storms prevent men from driving monster trucks on fishing trips. [Top of the Ticket]


4:22 PM on Wed October 22 2008
By Juli Weiner
982 Views

  1. The Pumpernickel says at 4:24 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    I’m calling for an end to all bailouts- financial and cosmetic alike.

    http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com

  2. Who is Sarah liguisting? I thought she was anti-homo? That was a quick flip-flop!

  3. Hmm, I guess now only 9 out of 10 terrorist agree.

  4. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 4:30 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Why does Sarah hate the uppercase? I mean, it’s one thing to have an occasional lapse and let a capital letter in every so often, but really! How sentence-caseist.

  5. “The sooner some people in this movement quit acting like the stereotype we are portrayed to be by the jew media, the sooner more and more white people will be unafraid to join.”—Black Eagle

    Oh, he was soooo close to getting that “quit acting like the stereotype” part down.

  6. wallythepug says at 4:31 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Can’t wait to see what October’s fashion bill will amount to…geez Sarah, go to Ann Taylor. You can get a nice jacket for about $200.

  7. superfecta says at 4:33 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    But…but…I TiVo Colbert and Doctor Who!

    Where on earth are there Republicans who watch Doctor Who? I’ve met Ron Paul types, sure, but it goes way over the head of any Republicans I’ve ever met, what with the funny foreigners and all.

  8. Accordion-o-rama says at 4:34 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    “It’s Palin!” should be a TV series.

  9. druranium says at 4:34 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    I wonder if Amy Strozzi the 13k/month makeup artist is voting for McPalin?
    AWKWARD!!!

  10. gurukalehuru says at 4:36 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    So, the National SOCIALISTS want a white homeland. I really don’t have too much objection to giving them Alaska.

  11. Uncle Al says at 4:38 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    If Bible Spice isn’t careful, Barry is going to tax her fashion budget at 39 percent instead of 36 percent. And we know what that would mean–suddenly she’ll look like Barbara Mikulski.

  12. irisheyes says at 4:38 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    All that money and nobody could steer clear of a scarf that supports Democrats?

    http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/stumper/archive/2008/10/21/in-which-sarah-palin-displays-the-latest-in-donkey-fashion.aspx

  13. swarm of bees says at 4:42 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    So, everyone that’s not at a McCain-Palin rally is anti-American, right? She is just dispicable– for her, Democrats aren’t just the opposition, they’re the enemy! Whether you agree with Obama’s policies or not, which of course I do, he has never made this election a flat out war. And “taser-gate”? If that guy tasered your nephew, HAVE HIM ARRESTED! Her stupidity is never ending.

    That’s my “why-I-hate-Palin” rant for the day. :)

  14. WhatTheHeck says at 4:53 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    James Bond’s Miss Moneypenny would describe Sarah as a cunning linguist.

  15. swarm of bees: Swarmey…Sarah is “The Ouroboros” which often represents self-reflexivity or cyclicality, especially in the sense of something constantly re-creating itself, the eternal return, and other things perceived as cycles that begin anew as soon as they end (See Phoenix (mythology)). It can also represent the idea of primordial unity related to something existing in or persisting from the beginning with such force or qualities it cannot be extinguished. The ouroboros has been important in religious and mythological symbolism, but has also been frequently used in alchemical illustrations, where it symbolizes the circular nature of the alchemist’s opus but, in Sarah’s case, represents external cyclical stupidity.

  16. Toomush Infermashun says at 5:04 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Q2: WTF???? You do know, don’t you, that Sarah is the New Messiah, and you’re just going to hell…? ‘Cause girls can be Messiahs, too, doncha know….

  17. Toomush Infermashun says at 5:05 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Sorry, meant to say Mrssiah….

  18. Wait…

    Also, “In Plain Sight,” “Saving Grace,” “The Hills,” “Army Wives,” “What Not to Wear,” “Design Star,” “The Next Star,” “The Real Housewives of Orange County,” “The Cleaner.”

    you are supposed to kill yourself if you fall into this category, right?

    I enjoy how they champion these morons as “bipartisan”. These are the same fat slack-jawed undecideds we see interviewed on every news station as if they were gifted beyond sight for “just not knowing or trusting” Obama.

    Fuuuuuuuuck prideful ignorance.

  19. Hm, a fashion website catering to specialty groups. “What is the well-dressed white supremacist wearing this fall?” Sort of like “Queer Eye for the Fascist Guy” or something.

    Never mind.

  20. thatonegirlsays says at 5:58 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    The Colbert Report is the only show out of that list of hideousness that I’ve ever watched.

  21. LuxMentis says at 6:26 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    “Concerned Linguist”? Really. You really ducked the opportunity to use: “Sarah Palin: Cunning Linguist”.

    I am *so* disappointed.

  22. Iggy Plop says at 10:11 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Wait, wait, wait. The official Al Qaeda website said this: “al-Qaida will have to support McCain in the coming elections so that he continues the failing march of his predecessor, Bush.” This is in effect an editorial endorsement, right? Al Qaeda endorses John McCain?! Right? Not to sound like a Daily Kos overreacting libtard, but shouldn’t this be getting a bit more play? Maybe?

  23. williambanzai7 says at 11:34 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    SARAH FEEL’S PRETTY

    (I Feel Pretty, West Side Story)

    WilliamBanzai7

    SARAH
    I feel pretty,
    Oh, so pretty,
    I feel pretty and witty and even bright!
    And I pity
    Any trailer girl who isn’t me tonight.

    I feel charming,
    Oh, so charming
    It’s alarming how charming I feel!
    And so pretty
    That I hardly can believe I’m real.

    See the pretty hockey mom in that mirror there:
    Who can that attractive mom be?
    Such a pretty Vice Presidential face,
    Such a pretty $5000 dress,
    Such a pretty red lipsticked smile,
    Such a pretty me!

    I feel stunning
    And entrancing,
    Feel like running and dancing for joy,
    For I’m loved
    By a bunch of GOP red necked cowboys!

    GIRLS
    Have you met our good friend Sarah,
    The craziest girl on Joe sixpacks block?
    You’ll know her the minute you see her,
    She’s the one who got a broken clock.

    She thinks she’s smart.
    She thinks she’s got a great campaign.
    She isn’t smart,
    She’s merely shopping McCain insane.

    It must be the campaign heat
    Or some rare hypocritical disease,
    Or too much foies gras to eat
    Or maybe it’s media fleas.

    Keep away from her,
    Send for Gap Chinos!
    This is not the
    Sara we thought we knew!

    SARAH
    I feel pretty,
    Oh, so pretty
    That the District should give me its key.
    A Senate committee
    Should be organized to honor me.

    GIRLS
    La la la la . . .

    SARAH
    I feel dizzy,
    I feel sunny,
    I feel fizzy and funny and fine,
    And so pretty,
    That the Miss GOP title can be mine!

  24. slinkimalinki says at 11:56 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    They asked Todd, you have a problem with this state trooper, he is a threat, you need to take that to the commissioner of the department of public safety.

    that is not a sentence, sarah palin!

  25. MilwaukeeKent says at 12:36 am, October 23rd, 2008

    Sorry, but it’s just begging: Taser? I hardly know her!

  26. williambanzai7 says at 2:30 pm, October 23rd, 2008

    SHOPPING DAZE (SCUSE ME I GOT CLOTHES TO BUY)
    (Purple Haze, Jimi Hendrix)
    WilliamBanzai7

    Shopping daze all in my brain
    Lately Filene’s just dont seem the same
    Actin funny, but I dont know why
    Scuse me I got designer clothes to buy!

    Shopping malls all around
    Dont know if our campaigns goin up or down
    Am I happy or in misery?
    What ever it is, that $5000 French dress put a spell on me!

    Help me
    Help me
    Oh, no, no

    Shopping daze all in my eyes, uhh
    Dont know if its election day or night
    Its got me blowin cash, its a campaign crime
    Until tomorrow, or just the end of time?

    Ooo

    Help me
    Ahh, yea-yeah, shopping daze, yeah
    Oh, no, oh
    Oh, help me
    Shopping daze, tell me, baby, tell me
    I cant go on like this
    Shopping daze
    Youre makin me blow my campaign
    Shopping daze, no, its painful, baby

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