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WE ARE ALL NEW YORK TIMESES

New York Times Attacked By 9/11s!

The Muslims are trying to kill the very communist New York Times! An internal e-mail says that the newspaper received an envelope filled with a “white granular substance,” just like in the good old days when all of the terrorists were trying to kill Tom Daschle, ha. Well, s’pose we gotta invade some Muslim country now, how about Syria? Those guys are kinda fuckers; freedom might as well be on the march there. To Syria. [Radar]


1:45 PM on Wed October 22 2008
By Jim Newell
979 Views

  1. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 1:48 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    It’s just Kristol’s daily crystal. No big thang.

  2. Probably from Columbia…

  3. ManchuCandidate says at 1:49 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Soon another “reader” of RedState/listener of Rush dumbass will become an advocate of prison reform and born again.

  4. NoWireHangers says at 1:49 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    By Muslin you mean Bitter. Oh those bitters; pretty sure they’re the only ones that ever send powdered sugar envelopes to liberal-in-the-tank-media-communists. USA!

  5. NewSpence says at 1:51 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Postmarked Wasilla?

  6. Serolf Divad says at 1:53 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    It must suck to be the editor of the xenophobic, über-patriotic New York Post and have to sit there watching the terrorists going after the New York Times, not giving a shit about your irrelevant ass.

  7. Doglessliberal says at 1:56 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    I bet Rudy Gui911ani sent it, and tomorrow he is going to announce he will be running for Mayor again since the city needs him.

    Or is that too cynical?

  8. NoWireHangers says at 1:57 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Tips from teh Bitter Book:

    Chapter 1: Pro-America Revenge

    1. Write an angry ALL CAPS letter to the Editor. B sur to misspelll words.
    2. Sprinkle with non-lethal white powder
    3. Sign with USA! USA! USA!
    4. Send via communist US Postal Service
    5. If caught blame anyone darker than you
    6. Profit

  9. Bostoprov says at 1:57 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    NoWireHangers: Serves the in-the-tank-gotcha-journalist-only-words media right for being a pro-Muslin anti-America terrorist ACORN front organization. Sez Palin: “Gotcha, media!”

  10. loudmouthredhead says at 1:58 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    BobLoblawLawBlog: Somewhere, Bill Kristol is twitching and itchy…

    The envelope was actually Krugman’s. Don’t you know that when you get a Nobel Prize, besides a $1M check, you also get a lifetime supply of uncut Nicaraguan nose candy?

  11. loudmouthredhead says at 1:59 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    McCain was just emailing them a piece of history for posterity. Who knows, that dandruff of his could have been on his head since the 40s!

  12. CrunchyKnee says at 2:02 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    NoWireHangers: Simply brilliant!

  13. Mark Narwhalberg says at 2:03 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Today we are all elitist libruls! At least until we can start bombing something.

    10/22 never forget

  14. The Cold Sea says at 2:03 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Sweet Terrorist Allah! The bitters are looking for revenge already. They know when “that one” is elected, a Fatwa is coming.

  15. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:06 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Betcha it came from one of the Carolinas…
    betcha betcha betcha.

  16. Dran-O’s nasty stuff. It can cause irreluctable bain dramage.

  17. It was real sugar. That stuff will kill you, you know.

  18. magic titty says at 2:12 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Was the powder attached to a dead bear?

  19. Texan Bulldoggette says at 2:14 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    No Muslims already hate us; we need to get another group to hate us. How about invading Venezuela? Then we can kill two birds with one stone: have Catholics & brown people hate us. Plus $1 gas since their oil reserves will pay for the war. USA! USA! USA!

  20. longjohnson says at 2:17 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    The powder was meant to reach Walnuts and his Depends (he has a rash, don’t you know)

  21. longjohnson says at 2:19 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    My friends, my nuts itch like the dickens and my tube of chap stick
    has run dry

  22. Texan Bulldoggette: it doesnt matter what group it is as long as they are “the brown” people. I would prefer someplace poor so that way when we go destroy their country its not like they had anything anyway and when we rebuild it they will luv luv luv us

  23. slavojzizek says at 2:31 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Not cynical enough. Haven’t you heard that the Times has proclaimed Bloomberg our king for life?

  24. problemwithcaring says at 2:34 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    10 out of 10 terrorist say anybody but the New York Times.

  25. Texan Bulldoggette says at 2:35 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    monty: Well then let’s invade Somalia. Whatever we bomb there would look better than it does now.

  26. PentagonBookkeeper says at 2:35 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Oh goodie!! I can now not open my mail, like back in those sexy anthrax days, and have a really patriotic excuse when I have to get my cable turned back on.

  27. Doglessliberal says at 2:37 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    slavojzizek: Yeah, I was thinking Rudy would use this (”I was there on 9/11!!”) as an argument against letting Bloomberg have a third term.

  28. bitchincamaro says at 2:38 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Thank god it wasn’t asbestos, they’d have evacuated half of midtown.

  29. Cape Clod says at 2:41 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    It was probably directed at the arts section after Charles Isherwood panned Katie Hughes in ‘All My Sons”.

  30. magic titty says at 2:47 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Hey, speaking of 9/11, it’s Rudolph the Human Stain, at a landline phone near you!

    http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/10/in_new_mccain_robocall_rudy_gi.php

  31. WhatTheHeck says at 2:48 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    It’s ok. The NY Times have their crack reporter working on this.
    They will find the substance came from the patriotic part of the U.S.

  32. Judith Miller sent it. It’s the boric acid powder she uses on her lady parts. Oh, and off topic, I just got my first “my friends” email from McCain-Palin, but I never got my yard sign.

  33. If she has told her dealer once, Maureen Dowd has told him a thousand times: Put it in a ziploc bag, mark it “personal”, and use Fed-Ex, for God’s sake.

  34. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 3:04 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Like this is the first time that an envelope of white powder has been found at the Times.

  35. ladymacbeth says at 3:07 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Syria! Huzzah!

  36. How can anthrax still be sent around? We found the guy, then found out it wasn’t him and blamed another guy who promptly killed himself. Case closed, anthrax can never be sent again.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  37. hockeymom says at 3:35 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Dear New York Times,

    Sorry, that was meant for Maureen McCormick, not Maureen Dowd.

    Honest mistake.

    Signed,
    Drug Dealers.

  38. donner_froh says at 3:42 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Nothing is too cynical when discussing Rudy G.

  39. OzoneTom says at 4:01 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    Kwame’ : It works great on roaches!

  40. tonehedge says at 4:13 pm, October 22nd, 2008

    On a related note, President Bush is wondering where that damn envelope had gone.

  41. I’m just sayin’, an envelope of cocaine going astray in the NYT offices is hardly news.

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