Wonkette
Everybody is very ANGRY with Sarah Palin for spending tens of thousands of hard-working Alaskans’ tax dollars flying her daughters to various conferences and putting them up at the Ritz and then saying they were there on “official duty” to cut ribbons and stuff. And yes, this is pretty fucking lame, particularly given that there are plenty of governors in America who do not drag their kids along to every association dinner they’re invited to and instead take advantage of a wonderful American invention called “the babysitter,” or even an old throwback called “a spouse.” But that’s not the real outrage!
The real outrage is AREN’T THESE KIDS SUPPOSED TO BE IN SCHOOL OR SOMETHING, instead of farting around swank hotels all the time? While Alaskans may not be known for their book-learnin’, one does assume the state has some sort of compulsory school attendance requirement for these youngsters. Only Bristol is being “home schooled,” according to the unimpeachable sources at the WikiAnswers message board. So what in the hell, why is Sarah Palin letting her 8-year-old kid sample the cheese buffet at the Annual Conference of Dongleheads in St. Louis instead of learning to read or whatever?
Report: Alaska Paid for Palin Family Travel [AP]
seeing how mom manipulates the other politicians IS an education.
Sara, your snark is impeccable, as always.
No child left behind (in Alaska).
Speaking of paliney gaffiness, are these DONKEYS i see before me?
http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/stumper/archive/2008/10/21/in-which-sarah-palin-displays-the-latest-in-donkey-fashion.aspx
What’s the big deal? I always flew my entire family with me on business trips. I had them come to client lunches and announce each fucking course.
oh, and that baby’s head ain’t going to lick itself, people
Outrageous indeed. This, on the other hand, is nothing more than a kerfuffle:
Police Prepare for Unrest
Police departments in cities across the country are beefing up their ranks for Election Day, preparing for possible civil unrest and riots after the historic presidential contest….Cities that have suffered unrest before, such as Detroit, Chicago, Oakland and Philadelphia, will have extra police deployed.
http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/police-prepare-for-unrest-2008-10-21.html
No mention of tanks in the streets of Boise, Oklahoma City, Western PA or West Virginia?
Maybe they don’t want their kids to learn about how Alaska is part of a ‘country’ with forty-nine other states, and other ‘American’ propaganda.
Why do you hate real American children?
She didn’t want them in school learning any of that there “evil-looshun” so she took them to learn real life skills, like meeting with oil company lobbyists.
user-of-owls: Haha… and to prevent this unrest, they will be stopping and questioning all minorities seen on the streets on election day. For the good of the country and the safety of our children.
Wait, the whole family is a bunch of business gypsies?
If Palin left her kids at home, it would end up like that movie, “The Missing.” She’d have to summon Tommy Lee Jones to find them again.
I thought she brought the kids as offerings to the GOPers who liked their dates female. Although at 8, that one is getting a bit old for most Republicans.
Get your facts straight, libtards. Props and human shields are covered under statute 11 in the campaign lawbook. duh.
Could be that Bristol’s baby daddy might actually be some horn-dog from the American Association of Dongleheads.
Valerie: Bible Spice is in the tank!!!
grendel: USA USA USA!
Off topic - A comment-er on HuffPo said McCain had mad cow’s disease.
I will be laughing at this for the rest of the day.
What she’s teaching her kids you can’t learn in any school.
Valerie: Win.
grendel: If your jaw hasn’t already had it’s daily ‘hit the floor’ moment, do read the article. It’s full of sweetness like this:
The Oakland police last faced big riots in 2003 when the Raiders lost to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the Super Bowl. Officials are bracing themselves in case residents of Oakland take Obama’s loss badly.
…and on, and on…
You can either give Trig therapy and hope that he becomes more like his brothers and sisters, or you can give your kids soda and hot fritos and turn them retarded.
Relax, libtards! I’m sure Bristol, Leotard, and Feller will all be “was graduated from Wasilla High” just like they’s momma!
God forbid her children go to actual school and learn what the vice president actually does! She might have to fire them for disagreeing with her!
….and thus the problem with home schooling, or one of them at least.
In most schools, if you have a bad teacher, you move on from that teacher the next year.
In home schooling, you keep the same “instructor” from year to year. Some parents are conscientious, others not so much. Mom stinks at math, but she has to teach it to you? Oooh, there’s a recipie for success.
Egads … Isn’t this called child labor?
Pair this piece with the news of her 150,000 shopping spree and Palin has found her niche. I want to be the Governor of Vice President! I want to travel for free with my four kids and get a nice fancy new wardrobe! I even have an understanding of the issues, the constitution and the job of a Vice President, so I am far more qualified! I can talk without using the words “and also” every thirty nine seconds.
Where do I apply?
It’s called a “field trip,” people! A years-long, politically advantageous, paid-for-by-taxes field trip!
Every day is “Take Your Daughter To Work” Day in Sarahland.
Come on, Wonkette! Piper had to be flown in. She’s her mother’s foreign policy adviser for fucks sake!
Alaskan girls don’t have to read, they only have to be able to breed. Silly.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: She learned that move from Big Papi Ortiz.
user-of-owls: They knew I was plannin’ a lootin’. Luckily I don’t see Los Angeles on that list.
coolcatdaddy: End the obtrusive child labor laws holding back our prosperity!
McCain*Palin ‘08
Harrumph I say! Her kids don’t have to learn how to read. They can always hire someone to read the bible to them. Nothing to see hear, move along.
user-of-owls: That’s because the New York Times stole the tanks, for the media to be in the tank for Obama.
Trig will be Secretary of Education once
WALNUTS!Palin is president. Your tax dollars will pay for his drool cloth.WagTehGod: Overqualified.
Bostoprov: Or as Sarah would say, ‘Tanks, but no tanks.’
My Friends,
What you don’t understand is that as native Alaskans, the Palin brood has been trained in both short and long arms since they were less than six months old. As such, Gov. Palin uses them as her personal guard (remember, she sacked the one made up of state troopers). Each Palin child is expected to serve until they become old enough to go out and multiply.
Fuck! My kids read about the big A$$3d shopping spree for the Palin clan and the free trips across the country and now they want ME to run for Veep! I can’t convince them that it is TOO FUCKIN late to run now, and by 2012 they will be out on their own.. ( sooner if McCain wins, cause I am heading to another country..)
magic titty: Is Bristol going back to school? Levi’s dropping out…
user-of-owls: No, white Republicans only riot in Florida.
She could always get David Brooks’ “Patio Man” to watch the kiddies. “Patio Man” needs more scratch to buy those khaki cargo pants at the Gap he’s been drooling over for the past 6 months, but his wife won’t let him, with the house going into foreclosure and the Yukon Denali getting reposessed.
Poor, poor, “Patio Man”, America’s lamest superhero. Or is David Brooks America’s Douche Bag?
Hey Sarah has a ‘tarded baby! Also book learnin’ is fer librul terrorists.
Besides gay Mr. Brady got to take his whole family and Alice the freaking maid on a business trip to Hawaii but you don’t hear the MSM complaining about that do you?
bearbait: …and only when Luby’s runs out of Jello.
user-of-owls: If I were the cops, I think I’d be more worried about a bunch of crackers from Jacksonville rounding up the nearest Negroes (or Mexicans, or Indians — whatever, they all look alike) and hanging them from the roll bars of their short-bed Chevys when McCain loses just about every state with a city of more than 500,000 people in it.
When Alaska secedes from the U.S.A., Palin wants her children to have had the foreign policy experience of having “seen” the country from their hotel balcony.
grendel: Is he? That’s sad. Oh, how a young child can get in the way of scholarly pursuit. And I was predicting Princeton for that young lad…
I guess if I can bill my kids’ time by the hour for coming to court with me, then OK, Sarah’s kids get their expenses paid for by the good people of Alaska. This really gives “home school” an entirely new and mind-expanding meaning.
Didn’t the oldest son Track drop out to join the army/avoid jail? Bristol is now being “homeschooled” which is probably a euphemism for dropping out due to being knocked up. Caribou Barbie might not have much hope of the retarded one making it through high school so she is probably preventing the education of the remaining two girls so none of the kids feel bad for not finishing high school. You don’t want to be the uppity sibling.
Can you imagine being home-schooled by Sarah and Todd? No wonder their kids are knocked up. I want to see that girl’s SAT scores.
But that’s what mavericky reformers DO!
Todays trifecta of her wearing the Donkey scarf, the $150K shopping spree courtesy of the RNC and the charging of the airfare and separate swanky hotel rooms for her girls is just like Christmas morning.
All the while the dow is tumbling and massive layoffs are being announced hourly.
NoWireHangers: Yeah, where’s the plans to beef up security around Bitterz strongholds and the fundamentalist crowd?
Gopherit:
Do you really think Bristol got to the point of TAKING the SAT’s?
If Sarah didn’t take the two younger girls along she would be stuck holding the retarded child herself.
As executive director of Dongleheads United for Humanity, I assure you that it was never our intention to keep any of Gov. Palin’s children from honoring the laws of Alaska and receiving a better education than their spacehead snowbilly mom. As you may know, the Dodo is the official symbol of Dongleheads worldwide, but our association believes that even though the dodo is extinct, that there already are enough of them.
Terry: Good point. She already earned her Mrs.
The alt-text is very nice.
she could always drop them off at warren jeffs compound. i’m sure they will be well taken care of!
Valerie: Thank you for that priceless photo. My guess is she actually didn’t know.
Oh, Sarah Palin, is there nothing you do that isn’t full of fail?
The best part about this is that the die-hard Republicans still think she’s the Chosen One (see Kristol, Bill) and that she’ll bring the Republicans back to glory by running in 2012.
The reason she is licking the kids forehead, vis a vis the hand job, is because in Alaska it is a commonly held belief that you can get a serious buzz off such actions.
longjohnson: What, no psychoactive toads in Alaska?
She is obviously protecting her kids from those Russians in Russia down the road.
Palin’s kids are just props anyway….who the F cares…
All those hotels, come on, you KNOW they have bedbugs by now…
natoslug: “GOPers who liked their dates female” — doesn’t that prove the point that there was no reason to bring them along?
It’s a limited gene pool in Alaska. Sarah ‘n’ Todd were just trying to expose the girls to some better swimmers
Come on, guys! She has to take the girls with her! Girls that age left unattended can turn to…erm, drugs and…um, unprotected sex and…yeah, this is just a scam.
I don’t even think it’s such a big deal that the Republicans spent $150.000 on clothes for Sarah Palin. After all, the election is about appearances (even though for that kind of money Obama could probably look like a less scary and whiter version of Michael Jackson).
However, the odd thing is the fakiness surrounding that decision. Sarah Palin is supposed to be the down-to-earth, small-town-values, ordinary-American-kind of gal. So how come she dresses like Carrie Bradshaw?
And speaking of fakiness in the Republican campaign, the money-making backbone of this country is not the Nebraskan cowboy who barely breaks even (no offense, I like cowboys). The economic backbone is — still — Wall Street, the corporations of Delaware, Silicon Valley and all of the West Coast, from Microsoft to Hollywood.
The rural Midwest, on its own, without farm subsidies and other Washington handouts, would collapse to the economic level of Guatemala, if the un-American part of America were to succeed. And so would Alaska. When Palin speaks about hard working small town Americans, what she really means is: white people, the same way Ronald Reagan meant black people when he was talking about Cadillac-driving welfare queens.
She might be in for a rude awakening.
http://cabal-thenovel.blogspot.com/
Mr Blifil: Quite correct, in school they told us to us condoms
We shall send the bill of flying her back to Alaska to the Alaskan taxpayers, possibly C.O.D.
user-of-owls: That’s distressing (about preparing for Civil Unrest in black areas only).
I live in the heart of what was 1994 Riot Country in LA, after the Rodney King police abuse verdict.
This is a stereotype, but I think history bears it out:
When young black men with little education and few options get pissed off, they burn a few stores in their own neighborhoods, and maybe yank a few innocents out of their vehicles and beat them up. Of course, this is terrible, but weigh it against this:
When young white men with little education and few options get pissed off, they blow up Federal Buildings ‘n’ shit … or Abortion Clinics …
Before Mohammed Atta and his crew, weren’t the two worst terrorists to attack this country (1) Tim McVeigh (super-right-wing Gulf War I PTSD Case), and (2) Eric Rudolph (super-right-wing woman-hating butthole)? And what about that right-wing jerkoff up in Seattle who just blew the shit out of nine young partygoers (after attending their party all night) because he didn’t care for their “morals”?
I understand my Fine Viking Heritage.
Things could get real real nasty, at the hands of the White Boys.
They ought to be preparing for *that*.
Once again, the Right Wing and Law Enforcement (redundant?) stare out the window, quaking in terror at some faraway Brown Menace, while inviting something far, far worse in through the front door.
I’m sure Todd was too busy with his snow-machine racing and such to provide such things as ‘parental care’. Anyway, are you sure that she took those kids with her and didn’t just pop them out on-site?
Can anyone imagine what the backlash would be if the DNC had spent $150k on Michelle Obama’s wardrobe, or if taxpayers had paid to fly a pregnant teenage daughter around to go light the ceremonial fuse on the flintlock rifle at the annual Northern Montana Moose-Fuckers Dinner? I think someone would bust out one of my favorite code words: “Uppity”
sezme: Who says they’re his?
They’re attending Hospitality School and it’s a fucking field trip. The End.
longjohnson:
I thought she was licking the baby because he tasted like cookies.
obviously, you’ve never had Donglehead cheese
Public high school in those provinces is pretty much of a joke anyway. The book “Friday Night Lights” will give you the idea. Bristol and Levi and Track can just go get GEDs, then go to four third-tier schools like their mother, and then they too can be a heartbeat away from the Presidency.