Wonkette
OH BLAST YOU Congressional poll trackers, why will you not do a fresh poll of Minnesota District 6? Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s opponent, a rare Upper Midwestern wood sprite of the species tinklenbergus, may be winning by zillions of points after Bachmann’s Friday-night meltdown on Hardball. Or maybe not, who knows! But one thing is for certain: Bachmann keeps having to explain herself, and it is not getting any easier.
A nifty little video here shows Bachmann explaining to some local reporters how saying she was “concerned that Obama may have anti-American views” in no way impugns or questions the senator’s patriotism. Also: Chris Matthews is a mean man who “laid a trap” for her. She says she’d never seen Hardball before, which we find difficult to believe, given her well-established reputation as a media whore.
Side note: Michele Bachmann is a very pretty lady, but it is nearly impossible to get a photograph of her not looking like a duck-faced lunatic. How can a person look perfectly fine in a video and then look like an insane clown in a still? Is it the eyes?
Bachmann: ‘I made a misstatement’ [Star Tribune]
Well, that settles that.
“How can a person look perfectly fine in a video and then look like an insane clown in a still? Is it the eyes?”
She has anarchic makeup skills.
Crazy eyes! Crazy eyes!
Well, she didn’t ever say that, according to Michelle Bachmann.
Yes Tweety laid a trap, with great big flashing lights and blaring sirens… She was Elmer Fudd to Matthews Bugs Bunny, all he had to do was stick is finger in the barrel of the rifle as she pulled the trigger…hi-larious.
A few things….
Michelle Bachmann has either had her eyes done or has gone a little crazy with the Botox in the eyebrow lifting area.
What is The Tink planning on doing with his new-found cash? The airways should be flooded with ads showing Bachmann being misunderinterpetated on that meanie show, Hardball. I want to see ads!!!!
I think a better question would be: Why doesn’t Wonkette publish more photographs of the adorable and bespectacled Sara K. Smith?
She said she’d never seen Hardball before appearing on the show.
She also claims to be a politician.
dano: Can’t. Agree. More.
Yeah, Matthews laid a trap for her by feeding her all the rope she needed to hang herself with. Poor insane Michelle Bachman.
Most definitely, it is the eyes. Kudos to Matthews for letting this lunatic rave on and raise a huge amount of funds for her opponent.
Matthews did pave the way, just like was done directly afterward with Pat Buchanan. I can’t belive I’m about to say this, but, since Buchanan has half a brain, he quickly just said, “No” to the are-our-congressmen-anti-American question. Christ, woman, good luck explaining this away.
CQ did move her race into the lean Repub column, today, at least.
Letting this baby-farmer talk for more than 10 seconds, anywhere, should be considered trap-laying gotcha journalism.
This admission of guilt must have been one of the hardest things her programmers have ever had to write and debug.
Because she’s a very pretty insane lady clown. I don’t see the contradiction.
“How can a person look perfectly fine in a video and then look like an insane clown in a still?
Easy, what Michelle needs is a $150K makeover. Hey, it, er, worked for Sarah!
She does look quite bangable pretteh with the long hair.
I hope she stays around long enough to earn a Fey impersonation.
Otherwise good riddance, M-Bach. Go back to Paling around with Malkin and Coulter.
Hairy : also, GQ has moved the race from “staid” to “edgy”.
I liked how in the press release her campaign sent out supposedly apologizing, they kept using the term “Democrat Party”…way to apologize…use a catch phrase invented by right wing lunatics to piss off members of the Democratic Party…
You know, when she was elected in 2006, I said “you know, we needed a replacement for Kitty Harris.” And now, if she loses, which crazy will replace the crazy? I just don’t know if Jean Schmidt is up for the job.
Bachmann is in the tank! Too bad this tank is also filled with piranhas.
First of all, she’s not pretty. At all. This continual inference is absurd. Much like the ‘Sarah Palin is pretty’ bullshit. They’re regular looking people with a thousand pounds of makeup.
Moving on, the reason she can’t look ‘good’ in a still photo is because she’s a venomous slag, and everyone knows that if you possess the rotted soul of a dead boar, it will come out in pictures.
I’d sure like to see Elmo Tinkle Burger win, but I’m skeptical.
a) money isn’t everything
b) This is the district that elected her in the 1st place, which might be an indicator that the voters are stupid enough they didn’t get what was wrong with what she said.
c) Hope I’m wrong. Go Tinkles!
Her eyes are ion cannons. She uses them to fry opponents who won’t yield to her irrational demands.
HA HA HA. From the AP:
ST. PAUL, Minn. – Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann says she regrets using the term “anti-American” while discussing Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama’s views, a remark that could threaten her re-election bid.
Bachmann told the St. Cloud Times on Tuesday that she “made a big mistake” by going on MSNBC’s “Hardball,” a show she said she’d never seen before her appearance last week. Her statement to host Chris Matthews that Obama “may have anti-American views” drew condemnation and helped her opponent, Democrat Elwyn Tinklenberg, raise more than $1 million in just a few days.
Servo: And if one were to attempt to “hit that”, one would presumably be vaporized.
Problem is, rural, upstate Minnesotans will probably eat this shit up. This ain’t Minneapolis we’re talking about, where they elect actual muslims for Congress and SNL writers for Senator and washed-up WWF “bad guys” for Governor.
hockeymom: I bet El is still trying to figure out how to ramp up his campaign from ads in the personals in the Stillwater Shopper. That said, yeah, there was perfectly good, airable stuff done by lefty amatuers on the internet 15 minutes after Tweety signed off. WTF happened to it? Maybe El figured a guy can have a lot of fun in St. Cloud with a million bucks.
magic titty: right you are. but you know don’t you when men say she is “pretty” they really mean, “hell yeah i’d nail her.”
Michele Bachmann is a very pretty lady…
Sorry, Sara, I’ve got to disagree. Take away the hair and she looks like one of those things on Easter Island.
Never seen Hardball? C’mon now. I know it’s mostly unwatchable, but how can you be in DC for a couple years, even with teh krazy eyesballs, and not be aware of it?
This is getting a huge amount of traction. I’d love to see her lose, but I would miss those eyes that make me feel so sane by comparison…
How will our half-hobbit, half-gay-elf friend, Elwyn Tinklenberg, even find places to spend a million bucks in the middle of small-town Minnesota? There’s only so many full-page ads you can take out in the St. Cloud Times. If I were him, I’d just send a dollar in the mail to everyone in his district, attached to a URL where you can watch the Hardball clip.
Naked Bunny with a Whip:
Reduced to plasma ( ionized gas ).
Lady, if you can’t avoid a trap laid by Chris Matthews, you need to take your crazy eyes and loose lips and run the hell back to the Minnesota woods.
WadISay: but really, how many times CAN you go Space Aliens in St. Cloud?
also…Stillwater Shopper..HA!
At least marilyn musgrave is getting her ass beat.
http://www.pollster.com/polls/co/08-co-04-ge-mvm.php
At least she’s not claiming I’m not a “real American” and then going to bed with her secessionist husband, who apparently love America so much he no longer wants to be a part of it. At least, I don’t think she is. If she’s married she might just be in the same boat.
mattbolt: The preferred term is “muslin”
I keep thinking that, with Ms. Bachmann and Sen. McCain both having to admit on camera that “Barack Obama is a good man who loves this country,” that he can start picking out colors for redecorating the White House. And I’m sure there’s a Lowe’s near Pennsylvania Avenue.
When you can get the opposition to vouch for your good qualities, you’re running one hell of a campaign.
hockeymom: 1 Million bucks can buy alot of ad space in the Thrifty Nickel…
Mmmmmmm.
Space Aliens.
Did you know that Wednesday = Rib Riot at Space Aliens?
Woo Hoo!
$1 million buys lots o’ ribs.
Her first mistake was hiring Heath Ledger’s makeup guy from Batman.
nurple: What about Popular Mechanics?!
p.s. you bring the good snark as consistently as MiBach brings the crazy!
mattbolt: He could actually send almost two dollars to each resident, because he’s raised well over a million and the district only has 600,000 residents. Why, with two dollars, you could buy a bottle of wine at Trader Joe’s (if you’re an elitist) or two things off the dollar menu at McDonalds (if you’re a “real American”).
bearbait: Makes you wonder, under a Palin administration, if she’d allow the overt actions of the Alaska independence movement, inside her husband’s watchful gaze, progress its agenda. Union (and oil assets) above all, I’d wager.
bearbait:
No, she’s going to bed with someone even better. A man who can turn gays, straight! Marcus Bachmann is a Christian therapist with the power to un-gay people.
Fabulous!
MathewBrooks:
Marilyn Musgrave is Michelle Bachmann without the pretty.
Crazy. Person. Eyes.
FREE LEVI JOHNSTON!!!
Could it be argued that Bachmann has a few anti-American values? She’s awfully close to Canada, donchaknow.
Darehead: Naw dude, Bachmann is pretty clearly Kristen Wiig country.
i was in minnesota on family business last week and the news stations all were basically saying bachmann was going to fail miserably on getting re-elected, and that was before she turned into an even bigger national laughingstock. plus there were some great commercials of her making out with bush at the state of the union in slow-mo while ripping into her. and yes, it’s true, those al franken/norm coleman commercials are also batshit crazy. i love minnesota.
It’s too late for apologies, bitch. You’re goin’ dowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
mattbolt: some useless information, because I have nothing to do at work: It’s not rural upstate MN ~ rural upstate MN by the Iron Range is VERY democratic. The 6th district wraps around east of St Paul and north of Minneapolis. I am about 15 miles north of downtown Minneapolis and am in this district. Elwyn Tink lives in the same city as me and votes at the precinct where I am election judge.
hockeymom: Marcus Bachmann? Sounds like someone I’d hear on the classical music station: “That was Violin Concerto in D Major by Marcus Bachmann, kershel number 211.”
…either that or Jorg Haider’s successor in Austria.
mattbolt: Or just make up bumperstickers that say: “ELWYN TINKLENBERG: NOT CRAZY”
mookworthjwilson: yeah we had Thrifty Nickel here but its called american shopper now but the point still stands you could probably buy the whole thing for a month on a million bucks
jagorev: In good ol’ Minnesota it is known as 3 Buck Chuck , the only thing in MN that costs more than when you buy it in CA!
magic titty: Yes, but following the “2 at 10 is a 10 at 2″ rule, she’s quite doable. Unfortunately, this assumes that you’ve had enough to drink to forget who she is, what she stands for, and to not pay any attention to anything that comes out of her mouth. At that point, though, I’ve either passed out or am vomiting rather than trying for the sexytime.
user-of-owls: FFR: “Kirschel”
Yours Truly’
FKIA.
Why isn’t the Fox News makeup stylist helping this gal out?
Cal Umney: Köchel if you want to get all anal ’bout it. Gesundheit.
Whether she’s seen Hardball before or not, the question was pretty straight forward, “Do you believe that Obama holds anti American views?”. She answered affirmatively and without a hint of doubt.
I would still hate to see her go. This woman is a cash register for the Dems.
the best part of the video is 12 seconds in — the facial expressions of the crowd as she tries to dig her way out/deeper are delicious.
She’s “attractive” from the shoulders up, if you like angular features and bad make up. From the waist down she’s the product of too many corn dogs. I’m sure behind closed doors she’s a freak, that much we can agree on, in the spirit of comity.
We should really stop focusing on this dumbass, because we’re only pushing her to a $200k+ year job in right wing radio after she loses to The Tink. Let’s just forget about her altogether, so she can live in quiet, personal ignominy.
In other breaking Minnesota political news: http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=527541&catid=2
I didn’t do it! I swear!
@natoslug: Or you could just have very, very angry sex and pretend you’re punishing her with you mammoth cock. Or maybe I’ve revealed too much about my personal life.
user-of-owls: Precisely. Mozart was all about the anal. Read his letters.
If disagreeing with her is anti-American, I don’t want to be right.
stephie4: If I was a cop, I’d start by checking Norm’s Home Depot receipts.
Goddamn Chris Matthews with his goddamn traps. I hate it when he asks you a question and then lets you go off on a crazy rant while having the nerve to continue televising it. What a bastard.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
If I had an ex-wife, she’d look EXACTLY like Michelle
Wow: http://tinyurl.com/584dvg
bless her overbite.
Even the UK thinks Bachmann is a nutbag slag: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/oct/20/commentanddebate-john-mccain-barack-obama
Loves it!
So basically we need to reinstate HUAC? Nice. I bet if she was asked if she had “no shame” she’d flash her tits.
blader: Best.Comment.Ever.
jagorev:
the district only has 600,000 residents
That’s as many residents as all of Alaska. Are you, sir, implying that our Beloved Governor/Conqueror is as unqualified to lead as Bachmann? I’ll not brook such a concept!!!
dano: Becuz no crazy eyes?
ManchuCandidate: Actually, that is probably the most attractive photo of her that I’ve seen. Not trying to stick her tongue in Bush’s mouth either. Bachmann I mean, not SKS…
It IS the eyes! Don’t look at them for the love of God, DON’T! The human skin that she wears for the public (and let’s face it, she went for the slutty weather reporter model) sometimes gets a little loose around the eyes and you can see the reptitlian scales beneath. But this is not advised because - please dear God DON’T look at the eyes.
The Tinkled One is going to need one mighty ring of power to defeat the Shit Demon. She is, no doubt, amassing her orc-hordes now as we speak.
Come on Sara, everyone knows that all the best patriots have anti-American views.
I saw the trainwreck live, and it was a white knuckle ride. Mathews kept rephrasing the question (musta been 6, 8 times) and she just kept lampin’ those eyes and talkin’ those points. Finally he suggested a congressional witch hunt (for secret illegal canadians, or, ..I dunno…guesses?) and she didn’t see the cliff til she was running in midair. She bid farewell without a clue what had just happened.
Rope A Doped
Why is it that so many Republican women (Sarah Palin, Bachmann, Ann Coulter, Katherine Harris, Laura Ingrahm, etc. etc.) look like extras from V?
Mr Blifil: Cal Umney: NoWireHangers: ELITISTS!!!
(is this when I point out that K. 211 is Mozart’s Violin Concerto No. 2 in D Minor…)
hockeymom: plus, marcus is a bigger queen than larry craig.
dano: agreed.
stephie4: My favorite part:
and she obviously has no idea that, in her rejection of the two bedrock American principles of separation of church and state and freedom of thought, she is the one who is as anti-American as they come.
Yikes. Nobody tell her. That marginally pretty head of hers might explode with comprehension.
Norbert: exactly…and those are the people in the St. Cloud business community. If she can’t get them on board, she really is sunk. I must say I’m not sorry to see her go.
Lionel Hutz Esq—-”Sarah Palin, Bachmann, Ann Coulter, Katherine Harris, Laura Ingraham”- yeah man add Malkin to that and make the porno………”Wingnuts gone wild”…..
Matthews didn’t lay a trap for her, the technicians who turned the cameras on did.
Oh man, first Katherine Harris, now this.
We need a Bachmann/Harris slashfic.
Amirite?
magic titty: Hear, hear! She’s wears way too much makeup (yuck, that bright pink blush is spread over most of her face), definitely had an eyebrow lift and probably some Restylane injections, and her teased hair looks crappy. She reminds me of the equally nutty Janice Dickinson (”the world’s first supermodel”).
I refuse to concede that Michelle Bachmann is the original Douchebagette!
the crux of it is i’m a stupid fucking mad cow!!! and a christian!!! god bless!
whatever_dc: Are you an idiot for posting stupid inanities such as this, or are you
so retarded that you need to have a special nurse typing by proxy who
can wipe the drooling from your mouth every 5 minutes and who can
translate your insane babbling into coherent words, in between giving
you your medication and changing your diapers?
___________________________________
OK, where’s Marcus Bachmann…i wanna fuck him while i tell him how to do Michelle’s make-up…dillweed.
hockeymom: Wow. Also, I read somewhere that Michele’s first foray into politics was motivated by her hostility to the witchcraft and paganism in the Disney movie “Aladdin”.
What a couple! What do they talk about over breakfast?
Wait, this sounds like a series — “Trapper Chris, Emcee”! He wanders the North Woods with his trap lines, baiting unsuspecting pols out of their poison oak bushes. Once caged, he sells them insurance — because, under that watch cap and flannel shirt, he’s still a nice Jewish boy.
Sure beats “CSI Bemidji.”
manner of man he was.
God Bless America: The United States of America is Blessed by God;
Americans are Chosen by God to Do His Will One Nation, Under God:
America is a Christian Nation
Thank God for George W. Bush: Christian Nationalists Believe Bush Was
Chosen by God, not by the People
Democrats Seek a Liberal Fascism in America & Christian Men Must Stand
Firm
We are also hearing about Demofascists as a substitute for Godless
Liberals and Godless Sodomites
TRUECRISTIAN: I also believe that Bush was not chosen by the people; his people stole the election in Florida. America is the land of Freedom of Religion, bless its heart. Hindus, Moslems, Jews, Buddhists, Bahai’s, Unitarian Universalists, Sikhs, and Rastafarians are just as welcome here as you are. It’s one of the freedoms that make the US a great place to be. If you were a true Christian, with decency, kindness and fairness in your heart — or could at least spell “Christian” — you’d understand that.
jagorev: Actually, it’s 3-buck Chuck now at Trader’s, so he would be able to buy a slight majority of the district’s residents a bottle each. Just enough… would work fine if this was New Mexico. Just leave your Obama smoking jacket at home, though.
TRUECRISTIAN: hahah you said Sodomites
chud…
Mr Blifil: Ah yes, one more vote for crazy babe sex! Get your fake business cards ready!
Let’s get real: how much does she spend on her clothes? Tink, America needs to know.
TRUECRISTIAN: So, what you are saying is….John McCain was doing the Lord’s work when he was shot down. Therefore the Lord had to send hard times on John in order to get his attention. That explains the torture inflicted upon him. Makes sense to me. What also makes sense to me is this…George Bush is here to teach us all a lesson. To this I say, Lord, Have Mercy!
TRUECRISTIAN: Christian Men Must Stand Firm. True Christian Nationalists Thank God For Viagra.
Shes a total Erin Gray look alike, who was my childhood crush.
Btw, turns out Erin Gray is a loony too.
http://www.sacredpathsbookstore.com/eringray.htm
Maybe there is something about the dark hair, shocking blue eyes combo that leads to lunacy.
TRUECRISTIAN: no — i’m neither john mccain nor sarah palin’s child trig but thanks for the offer.
think we all know who was responsible for that, the Godless liberals who cannot stand having their immorality shoved back in their ugly face!! The defenders of free thought, the Big Bang theory and evolution, are not only striking out at me, but at all Christians. . Last night, while I was sitting on my front-porch swing, gazing up at Heaven, President Bush appeared to me in a vision. He told me that my work was not yet finished, there were still many liberals who had not yet seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!! President Bush would not be in the White House right now if God didn’t want him there. President Bush was put in a position of leadership in order to wipe the devil’s religion of Islam off the face of the Earth, so that the Christian God can fill the world with His message of peace and love. President Bush has stated numerous times that he speakes with God in the Oval Office, he even asked God for military advice before the invasion of Iraq. Modern liberalism is the equivalent of atheism, liberals are in favor of killing babies, raising taxes, teaching evolution, and same sex marriage. Jesus is opposed to all of these horrible things.
TRUECRISTIAN: So like, is it real or is it Memorex?
I think we got us some good satire.
Or some are worse than I believed possible.
So is it champagne or Drano I should drink?
TRUECRISTIAN: I do now believe that GAWD has chosen this country for outlandish punishment for our hedonistic ways! Bailing out Wall Street! Invading foreign countries! Electing (twice) our most mentally challenged citizen as President of the United States. Now come the hurricanes! Now come the floods! Now comes the increase in cancer! The Lord punishes those who do NOT do His will. Those who do NOT feed the hungry! Do NOT heal the sick! Do NOT clothe the naked (at least not in this year’s fashions)! THE ONE will soon be elected to right the wrongs and finally prepare for the arrival of a time of peace, justice and understanding. It will probably be a cold day Jan. 20, 2009 in Washington, DC (our nation’s Capitol). On that great and magnificent day, I do sincerely pray that each member of the Obama family will don heavy coats and open all the doors and windows and air out our GREAT Casa Blanca. Hosannah!
Mr Blifil: You, I love.
I think her problem is the ice-blue alaskan sled dog eyes that never seem to adjust with the light level. They’re always half dilated. If you take two index cards and block out all but the eyes on any picture of her, it is indistinguishable from when Reagan in The Exorcist is possessed by Pazuzu.
Bad fucking juju.
TRUECRISTIAN: This has to be fucking satire…Shorts, this is you, right? These things cannot be things that a person says and means…
A vision of W appeared to you while you were gazing at heaven while sitting on your porch swing? Was he 900 feet tall? Was he dressed like W, or was he all toga’d out? Naked, maybe?
Were you drunk? Did you find that you lost any time during this episode? Have any other famous people ever “appeared” to you while you were in a fugue state?
You fascinate me, I want to know everything about you.
Whoah Nelly! I had this whole thing going about how fetching this woman-creature looks. And now I see this pic and it’s like I’m looking at the nitwit flunky at the Safeway last week who started jabbering something to the other cashier about her pregnant teen and left the suppositories out when she bagged my groceries. And THEN… I read TRUECHRISTIAN’s loving missive (satire or not, they’re out there, and this is their mind on Jephus), and now I am just so so humiliated that I ever had thoughts about her like the ones I won’t tell you about. So. Humiliated. I. Have. To. Express. It. With. Periods. After. Every. Word.
Am I the only one who noticed that she hasn’t apologized for squat? People, this was NOT an apology, it was a clarification. Instead of apologizing, she simply pointed out that she never said that senator Obama was anti-American. And she’s right, she never did say that. She said that she was “concerned that Obama may have anti-American views”. Quite different, and indeed no need to apologize.
By the same token, I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that I never said that Michele Bachmann was a moronic cunt. I merely said that I was concerned that she may hold moronic, cuntish views.
TRUECRISTIAN:
Michelle?
ivenson: ^ Ah that sucks tali. That happened to me last year, except it cracked my windshield in the top corner. I left it alone but then within the next couple of months the crack started to spread. In the end I had to get it totally replaced as well.
But you’re right about the noise. It scared the living daylights out of me when it happened. But I was lucky that it was at night time and no one was driving behind me, because the second it happened I slammed my breaks on just out of instinct.
Yeah yeah, I’m super late to the party. It turns out people have studied the insane clown effect. But they somehow prefer to call it the “frozen face effect.”
http://www.journalofvision.org/8/6/342/
user-of-owls: Jorg Haider’s “successor?” Hur hur hur.
Sean Handjob had his hands up her ass tugging on her spine. Oh, she’s my sweet little puppet, so said Rush Douchebag. She’s an escape animal from the circus that is faux noise, I love this fucking site. I can cuss and ………………………………… i had a John McCain momemt, sorry
” moment ” See, no more watching of the McCain/Palin anything.
They rot your brain, BREAKING NEWS: FROM THE McCAIN/PALIN CAMPAIGN, READING IS NOT FUNDAMENTAL.