New Freakout Numbers: Obama 53%, McCain 39%

  polling porn

So I went and joined the band and I went out on tour, And I smoked a lot of heroin and I passed out in manureNew poll! From Pew, the liberal educated poll robot. Likely voters: 53% for Obama, 39% for McCain. The “Other/Don’t Know” crowd is down to 8%, or below the threshold of mattering one way or the other — in the October 9-12 Pew poll, the 9% other/undecideds were enough to erase Obama’s advantage, should they all go for Walnuts. WARNING: This is all just a mindfuck trick to make you stay home and get high on liberal dope, on Election Day, and not go to the polls because, hey, it’s in the tank! [Pew via Sullivan]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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64 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    [re=142100]President Beeblebrox[/re]:
    Actually Dirge would say this:

    Braking:
    Outlier Commie Socialist Mooslimst Black Poll shows McCain down 14.
    McCain sez: “I got That One where I want That One.”

  2. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Brilliant observation. You know as Obama’s numbers have gone up, the liberal polling groups have been digging into the good ganja. On the other hand, the conservative pollsters are either crashed out on Jim Beam or too busy preparing for the coming armageddon that they are letting their depression drive their numbers down.

    In other words, don’t trust anything until Diebold declares the winner.

  3. AmericanValues

    [re=142060]Carrie_Okie[/re]:

    Q: Who is Barack Obama
    A: Clearly that Hussein Muslim character is actually a mutant muslim ninja turtle!

  4. Sinjin4131

    [re=142060]Carrie_Okie[/re]: Its like Terminator meets Back to the Future with a little Sarah Shark action mixed in…but why the numchucks??

  5. wheelie

    From wikipedia, one year from now:

    “The McCain Effect is the name given by political scientists to the phenomenon whereby people would rather vote for an undernourished intellectual radical with an Arab name than a former serial plane-crasher turned senile Senator who makes like a monster in debate photos.

    It was first noted in the 2008 US general election and is widely credited with handing Ralph Nader his victory [citation needed].”

  6. hockeymom

    Off topic.

    Anyone else completely sick of pundits and politicians saying “look”…then pausing for dramatic effect, then making some completely non-original point.

    “look” is this year’s “at the end of the day”.

    Everyone needs to get their own damn catch line.

  7. Canuckledragger

    “This is all just a mindfuck trick to make you stay home…”

    T’won’t matter, Ken Layne. A full third of the populace will have voted before Nov. 4 anyway, so the only ones staying home will be the disaffected and alienated Republitards who know it’s pointless to hit the polls.

    PS: Please say ‘hi’ to Don Van Vliet for me and tell him we’re currently co-writing a song he knows nothing about.

  8. One Yield Regular

    Ken, shouldn’t that entire entry be in LOLCAT speak, superimposed on the image, with all the requisite intentional misspellings and poor grammar and such?

  9. Hooray For Anything

    Last time I listened to Wonkette about polls, I threw a John Kerry victory party. So, in other words, I can’t hear you.

  10. NoWireHangers

    Of course, none of this is over until election night (or a few days after that if Florida and Ohio have a say) which will either end with glorious Obama supporter sex or angry looting, both of which I fully endorse.

  11. problemwithcaring

    [re=142068]Dernyul[/re]: The smart money is on the PA and it’s Simpsonesque-Diebold machines.

  12. WagTehGod

    [re=142084]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hillary used the same argument and look where that got her.

    Um, she is out of the race, right? RIGHT????

  13. Serolf Divad

    [re=142100]President Beeblebrox[/re]:

    More likely he got a temporary bounce out of Joe the Plumber until people discovered that Joe the Plumber is just an obnoxious lying Dittohead.

  14. Kev-O-Tron

    [re=142144]NoWireHangers[/re]: wait. scratch that. reverse it. Obama supporter looting or angry orgy. Yea… that’s better.

  15. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=142152]WagTehGod[/re]: The October surprise will in fact be a Walnuts/Hillz/Caribou Barbie joint veep ticket. It’s never been done before, but WHY THE HELL NOT do it now?
    Boom. Apocalypse now.

  16. dano

    “53% for Obama, 39% for McCain

    Sweet fancy Jesus! Who knew that many people hated America. I demand an investigation immediately.

  17. Texan Bulldoggette

    Well, we’ll see how many people were in the tank on Nov. 4, but I early voted today. My polling place was next to a nursing home. All the old geezers were either trying to keep a black man from being elected in their lifetime or trying to help a black man get elected in their lifetime. Because, trust me, they weren’t gong to be around 4 years from now.

    The wait was an hour long because all the old folks in wheelchairs, walkers & on oxygen machines got to cut in front of the people who weren’t on the verge of dying. Moral of the story: rent an oxygen machine or wheelchair to avoid the line!

  18. S.Luggo

    [re=142146]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I passed your message onto Vice Fundie Uterus-elect Barbie. She said “you betcha” and then, purely for national security reasons, asked for your home address.
    See you in the North Slope gulag, bro’. Sleepie bye.

  19. pook

    Canuckledragger! Who here knows Don Van Vliet? Ken? And how does he know this magical man?

    Christ, I’m so jealous, allofasudden….

  20. Texas2Step

    This is going to be the world’s LONGEST two weeks. Seriously gang, I’m getting cold sweats that McCryptkeeper and Caribou Idiot will get into office, and we’re all going to be seriously FUBARed. I don’t want the kind of America they invision, which would make me unAmerican.

    GONNA be a nail-biter? I’ve already bitten my nails off up to my armpits.

  21. S.Luggo

    Not believin’ it. Nope. The Pew poll didn’t take into account the following negative inputs:
    1. The two drooly basset hound Sullivan effect.
    2. The [Bill] Bradley no-D effect.
    3. The Mark Foley page-butt-plunger endorsement.
    4. The Bachmann ‘crazy crazy nutty eyes’ Borg Princess magic.
    5. The George Bush “What? There’s an election?” fog confusionation.
    6. The Scalia ‘I steal the election from you anyway, hippy scum rabble now get a fucking job’ ultimate result.

  22. slowhansolo

    I’m guessing the margin required to make the electronic tampering moot is about as wide as the trailer in Bristol’s future…

  23. S.Luggo

    [re=142279]Worlds End[/re]: “McCain Scaling Back in Wisconsin, New Hampshire and Colorado?”

    Wiconsin: English hasn’t been spoken there years, don’t cha know. Cheese munching foreign types. Almost Swiss.
    New Hampshire, two words: French. Canadian. Illegals.
    Colorado: So, so obvious. A Spanish name. Think: The kick-us-in-the-anti-Islamic-cojones Old Europe.
    Chapter closed.

  24. President Beeblebrox

    [re=142279]Worlds End[/re]: Stephanopoulos – another member of the liberal MSM in the tank for Obama!

    If it’s true that Johnny Mac is pulling out of CO, NH, and WI, what does he have left? Ohio, Nevada, Indiana, and Pennsylvania. Not much. In the tank, etc.

  25. junkscience

    [re=142236]Texas2Step[/re]: Drink heavily and take drugs. And sleep. It’ll go by pretty fast that way.

  26. Kingbee

    A cat delivering a flying front snap kick to the dog’s head. I see…Walnuts is the dog’s name? The cat is half black/half white? The dog needs to wear Depends around its muzzle?

  27. BobLoblawLawBlog

    Ah, no wonder Drudge’s headline was that Hopey’s up be over 7%. What a paltry lead at this stage in the game, HENNNGHHHH???

    Ken, is that pitbull wearing lipstick? Sexist.

  28. 1ofUS

    A pox on your poll, bulldog. Harry Claw here, to wail the siren of one Ms. Honorable Cynthia McKinney’s to y’all, hear?

  29. Grimnir

    [re=142144]NoWireHangers[/re]: Remember, remember, the 5th of November?
    The election riot and plot.
    I know of no reason,
    why Florida’s Treason
    Should ever be forgot.

  30. messickc

    [re=142383]fuckinredneck[/re]: The best part of it all is when he starts shitting all over himself attempting to get out of the whole he dug. Fortunately for him, looks like the crowd forgave him when he said “god.”

    McCain: “I raped a puppy!”
    WPA: **Gasp**
    McCain: “You’re a God fearing people!”
    WPA: YAYYYYY!!!! WOO HOO!!!!

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