censorship

Make Your Own ‘Joe The Plumber’ Sign, Watch It Get Rejected

The McCain website has this fantastic new feature in which you design your own “Joe the Plumber” anger bear sign, about taxes. As the example above demonstrates, however, there is high potential for CHILDISH ABUSE with this thing, and so far we’ve submitted nine different signs that the website *promised* to e-mail to us, and none of them have come. Not even our most benign — dare we say courteous? — submission, “I am Walnuts the fucktard.” We give up. Now you people go ahead and try, and if you get any good ones past the filter demons, please send them our way. [John McCain]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Dave J.

    “Moose the Castrating Shrew” is on order, Cap’n.

  • loganmo

    I tried “Larry the Wide Stancer” and nothing CAME-wakka wakka wakka

    pffft.

  • sarahconnor

    I’m “only making”
    The “five figure$, duma$$”

  • patrickman

    trucknutz wide-stance

  • american mutt

    I am Gordon Liddy
    The other Terrorist.

  • InsidiousTuna

    Jabba the Hutt

  • Half-Price Muslin

    “Beelzebub the Bundler”
    “John’s Best Friend the Oncologist”
    *sigh* no luck just so far…

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    All I got was another email for Viagra. I think McCain has got a spam scam going on.

  • Hot_Carl

    I’m “In The Tank”
    For “The e-l337est Librul”

  • american mutt

    I AM Spilling applecause
    The grocery store is scary.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Jeez, what is wrong with Barbie the Crome Hoover?

  • AusKosh

    Waiting for my three:
    I AM not THE droid u r looking 4
    I AM joe THE strummer
    I AM taking out THE garbage. Don’t Tax Me For Working Hard.

  • Anita Cocktail

    I am BUCK NAKED
    the PORN STAR
    Don’t tax me for working hard…. (heh, heh, heh)

  • Dave J.

    “Monica the Intern” has yet to show up, strangely.

  • RubberSoul

    This one fits Joe the Plumber to a tee:

    I am “Jumping”
    The “Shark”

  • Jim Newell

    I even submitted “I am Jim the blogger,” the most factually accurate thing I’ve ever typed but probably the most offensive to them.

  • vkladchik

    I AM psyched that THE nation is for Obama!

  • american mutt

    I AM Truck Nutz 4
    THE WIN

  • Odd Ass City

    I am so going to vote for
    The One

    I am Trig’s Mom
    The Grandma

    I am drillin’
    The Arctic

    I am in charge of
    The United State Senate

    I am Angry
    The Loser

  • GrammarCop

    I AM Levi
    THE Dropout

    Strange — still haven’t gotten mine, either!

  • iwillsavethispatient

    I am Joe the Welfare Queen…
    I am Ashley the Escort… phnarr

  • wheelie

    You are a very bold boy, Jim the Blogger.

  • Entitynein

    Hmm, still waiting on my I AM John THE erratic politician sign.

  • Tarheel

    Now, I’m just going to sit back and wait for my, “I AM Joe THE Tax-Evader” sign to arrive.

  • Min

    I am voting for
    the other guy.

    So far, nada.

  • stephie4

    I AM Obama THE Anti-Christ

  • Dernyul

    I am Farting and It’s
    The Worst.

  • Dave J.

    Hmm, anyone else pause for a moment on the page that pops up after you hit “submit” and think about “helping” them call some undecided voters? That would be a hoot and a half.

  • wheelie

    [re=142047]Jim Newell[/re]: fk you, you beat me to that quip. Not fair.

  • american mutt

    I AM AWARE OF
    THE INTERNET TRADITIONS

  • spencer

    I AM DOUCHENOZZLE
    THE COLUMNIST

    sent to wkristol@theweeklystandard.com

  • lessreal

    I AM Choking
    THE Chicken

    It’s funny because it’s true!

  • guey de gueyes

    I hope mine makes it through:

    “I am Cleveland the Steamer”

  • iwillsavethispatient

    I am …
    the One and Only!

    Jammacain gotta love Chesney Hawkes, surely?

  • Dave J.

    [re=142065]spencer[/re]: Oh, I see what you did there. You went and added a fun new wrinkle to this game.

  • Harold_Ignoramis

    John the bad the pilot/opportunist.

    Sarah the bimbo.

    Joe the Gaffer.

    Barack The One.

  • druranium

    My “I am Gorlak the Financial Advisor” is not coming through. Fuck you McCain. Empty promises, empty promises.

  • Dernyul

    I am Waiting For
    The Sign to Arrive.

  • stephie4

    I AM Tom THE Crazy Scientologist

    I AM Katie THE Stepford Wife

    I AM Suri THE Alien Baby from Xenu

    I am Matt THE Glib News Reporter

  • StupidGeek

    I AM Eating
    THE Arugula

  • spencer

    I AM جو
    THE سباك

  • Petticoatjunction

    I tried “I AM Jake THE Alligator Man” in tribute to Long Beach icon:
    http://www.funbeach.com/events/jake/
    …to no avail. On Jake’s own page it says “you rancid snarkster” in reference to the Jake haiku contest.
    I haven’t even bothered with “I AM Sarah THE Disemboweler.”

  • PrairiePossum

    I AM AN INVESTMENT BANK CEO EARNING AN 8 FIGURE INCOME PLUS BONUSES

    I HATE PAYING TAXES. TAXES ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE.

    MAY I PLEASE HAVE ANOTHER BAILOUT PLEASE?

  • SeminoleInDior

    “I am blowing my load on the Palin girls”.

  • StrangelyBrown

    Don’t tax me, bro!

  • american mutt

    I AM BENEFITING FROM
    THE OBAMA TAX CUTS

  • President Beeblebrox

    Still waiting for mine:

    I AM so fucking tired of THE Republicans

    I AM at war with THE Iraq

    I AM not supporting THE Mooseburger

    I AM not buying THE attempt at pandering

    and

    I AM waiting for THE four signs I just made

    NB: This Joe the Plumber meme is epic fail. Also, this is the first time I was ever on the McCain website. It’s sort of a weird half-breed muslin relative of Obama’s website, i.e., it has all the trappings of a social-networking campaign site but it doesn’t exactly work.

  • putinontheritz

    I AM Bitter Cindy
    THE Rancorous ATM

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    i am “working” the “pole.”

  • PrairiePossum

    I am a whore named Alice

    From the town of Dallas

    I work hard for the money, so you better treat me right.

  • AK Insomniac

    I am Trig
    A Gift From God

  • Gopherit

    Didn’t like I’m fucking pages in the Senate Bathroom! either. Sigh.

  • johnbpt

    I AM Walnuts
    THE Old

  • Big Al1317

    I am Yatzel

    The anarchist

  • SeminoleInDior

    [re=142095]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: LOVES IT!!

  • Canuckledragger

    I AM Disgusted By

    THE Retards You Attract.

    It’ll go well with my collection of defaced Bush lawns signs. [Yes, I really DO have same. Long story…]

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=142099]Gopherit[/re]: Win.

  • Dave J.

    [re=142092]President Beeblebrox[/re]: No doubt. The first time I signed up on the Obama website, I swear I had three emails within 10 minutes and then my local campaign HQ called me that night. Literally. They have their shit together over there.

  • Special Agent Jack Mehoff

    I am Jacking off to
    the electoral map

    I am In the tank for
    the Socialist

    I am Jack Mehoff
    the B-list fluffer

  • Garble

    “Working hard” isn’t going to get you +$250,000 unless the work in question is drilling through a bank vault.

    How did so many people swallow the absurd myth that the rich work harder than the poor?

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    I am E.T. the extra-terrestrial.

  • Dernyul

    I am Sorry
    THE gimmick hasn’t worked.

  • Hot_Carl

    [re=142089]american mutt[/re]: +1

  • keepinitrealyo

    [re=142062]Dave J.[/re]: Say, that’s an interesting notion.

  • the bf

    I am Walnuts
    the grumpy senator

  • villageatrois

    Crap. I thought it said “don’t text me for working hard”.

    Hatin’

    the

    McCain Campaign

  • DailyComicsReview

    I am Melanoma (malignant)
    The Skin Cancer, 4 times

  • chairmandave

    I am Tom Cruise
    the Real Maverick

  • LarryFeltonJ

    What with being a civil sort of guy I decided to go easy on their obscenity filters but I still haven’t gotten my signs yet.

    I went with:

    I am Attila the Hun
    I am Sam the Old Accordion Man
    I am Caribou the Barbie
    I am Willard the Rat Trainer

    I think if I carry my sign to a McCain rally I’ll use Willard the Rat Trainer

  • NoWireHangers

    I am WOODY
    The BONER
    Don’t tax me for working hard!

  • NoWireHangers

    The one I actually submitted wasn’t that good, but the email address I provided was info@johnmccain.com:

    I am JOHN MCCAIN
    The DIAPER SOILER

  • Grumpyshoes

    I am Banging
    The Governor of NY

    I added the “of NY” part, lest they think I meant the Alaskan one. We’ll see what happens.

  • blankforobama

    I AM able to make
    THE obscene signs immediately at http://blankforobama.com

    Sorry for blatant promotion — but really, wait for a sign?

  • Steeevyo

    I am Obama
    The President

  • Canuckledragger

    Fuck! TEN minutes and STILL no fuckin’ lawn sign.

    ANOTHER broken promise.

    Fuckin’ politicians!

  • SeminoleInDior

    [re=142106]Dave J.[/re]: Walk into any local Obama office, and you will see barely contained mayhem, but a LOT of computers and telephones. It’s what we do best.

  • chairmandave

    I am cranky at all of
    the coloreds in America

  • iolanthe

    I am often in stitches over the belief, widespread among YouTube commenters of the Redneck Asshole Persuasion, that everyone in America who is rilly rilly rich, is rilly rilly rich ’cause they work so rilly rilly hard. Difficult to believe that these naifs actually *know* any Rich People, isn’t it? They have such a romantic view of them, see them as Moral Guardians or something.

    I’ve been rich enough to have seen the Rilly Rilly Rich up close and personal. Not a pretty sight.

    So mine were:

    I am KEN LAY
    The DECOMPOSING CROOK
    Don’t tax me for working hard!

    and

    I am RICHARD S. FULD
    The CEO of LEHMAN BROs
    Don’t tax me for working hard!

  • bhosp

    I AM I, Don Quixote
    THE Lord of La Mancha

  • Dernyul

    I am Aborting
    The Baby.

  • iolanthe

    [re=142108]Garble[/re]: I KNOW!! Don’t they *know* any rich people? If you start to ask them if anything unjust ever happened in their little town (right of way unfairly revoked, etc. etc., powerful business edging an upstart business out) you’ll start to hear from them, just like you hear from *most* people, that the rich in their area treat the poor like shit.

    But somehow, when it’s at the National Level, all The Rich are Great and Good and Enjoy God’s Special Favor and Affection.

    I can’t figure it. It’s like they’ve been hypnotized.

  • bc

    I am Appalled

    By Sarah Palin

    I guess that’s a no go

  • toad

    I am the really annoyed murdered bear
    The one sent from Russia with the Petro-McCain- $$$’s

  • kth

    I am “Leon Phelps” the “Ladies Man”

    someone needs to submit one on-the-level sounding and see if it goes through, so we can know if this feature is even for real and not just a way to scrape email addresses.

  • Servo

    [re=142067]lessreal[/re]:
    That’s fuckin’ great!

    [re=142080]spencer[/re]:
    Have fun in luxurious Gitmo, my friend.

  • iwillsavethispatient

    [re=142108]Garble[/re] + [re=142149]iolanthe[/re]: It’s because apparently the Government (“for the people, by the people”) in the world’s bestest democracy(tm) can’t be trusted with money, let alone be trusted to spend it for the greater good, but rich people (who presumably got rich by not giving their money away) can. It’s obvious, innit?

  • tiny mexican

    I AM Joe Lieberman
    THE grotesque shit monster

    I AM Lindsey Graham waiting for
    THE right woman to come along

    They can’t turn those down, right?

  • sk1win

    I am Bristol
    the Baby Maker

  • Servo

    I am Crashing
    The airplane

  • a-petit dejeuner

    I am Roger
    The Shrubber?

  • NoStyleHere

    [re=142038]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Viagra is in the tank for McCain

  • flyingspaghettimonster

    I AM JEFF GANNON
    THE SEX TOY 4 HIRE

  • lattelibrul

    Sarah Palin the Republicans’ Redneck Fluffer.

  • wheelie

    [re=142148]Dernyul[/re]: My god, that’s appalling/brilliant.

  • CivicHoliday

    I am aware of the internets.

    I am hoping that the series of tubes don’t clog.

    I am worried that the technology is in the tank for Obama.

    (A trilogy of thoughts by John S. McCain III)

  • keepinitrealyo

    I AM become death

    THE destroyer of worlds

  • LarryFeltonJ

    I’m starting to get disenchanted with the McCain campaign. Evidently they rejected my second batch too which included

    I am voting for the Democrat
    I am Jabba the Hutt
    I am Louis the Fourteenth
    I am Cleopatra the Queen of the Nile
    I am Roscoe the Aquarium Repairman

  • saypdx

    I AM pregnant
    AND taxes hurt my baby

  • Wag Das Hund

    [re=142080]spencer[/re]: I am Allah The Akbar

  • Wag Das Hund

    I am Rudy
    The Rat Demon

  • CivicHoliday

    I am Gozer the Destructor.

  • edgydrifter

    What’s the deal with the lower-case “e” in “DON’T TAX Me?” Is it some kind of code? It is, isn’t it? You fuckers! If the red moustache flies at midnight tonight, I’m pointing the finger straight at you, McCain!

  • J05H

    “I am Anonymous for
    The LULZ”

  • Guitar_Guy

    I just simply went for “the lobbyist”, we’ll see.

  • Dave J.

    [re=142181]LarryFeltonJ[/re]: I think we can conclude at this point that they realized that the snarky ones were outnumbering the genuine ones by 20:1, and have just scrapped the whole thing. I submitted a few “who could argue with that?” ones (“Tim the Mechanic,” “Dave the Contractor”) and those haven’t come through either.

  • J05H

    I am Wondering
    the email w my sign

  • catsquatch

    I think the sign generator is racist. It must have a white-list of acceptably bitter names and go-nowhere Victorian occupations that it will allow. I mean who would anticipate needing to block Polly Golliwog the Minstrel Songstress? If anyone wants to try my theory they could start with Cornelius Fisting, Haberdasher.

  • sezme

    I am spamming
    the losing campaign.

    (It’s meta-snark)

  • LarryFeltonJ

    My “Roscoe the Aquarium Repairman” sign just arrived!!!!!! Oh please please please send “Willard the Rat Trainer”!!!!

  • Dindc

    Well, “I am Ethelred the Unready” didn’t work… Too Book Lurned, I guess.

  • zetetic

    I AM smokin
    THE ganja!

  • Kinbote

    I AM Terrorist
    THE singular.

  • Aurelio

    I tried,

    I am SELENA
    the PROSTITUTE

    DON’T TAX ME FOR WORKING HARD.

    No email from McWalnuts yet.

  • el_burrito

    Ha Ha, this is great. They send you sign, you fix it up,
    then send it back to them. So far no response, what gives?

  • Outstando

    I got a good one. I’ll leave it to Jim to share.

  • graysong

    You people obviously aren’t real Amurricans! Jim the Fireman came right through. I think they have a pre-approved list of jobs/names. Wonder if Mohammed the “cab driver” would go through.

    The sign comes as a PDF and is, like most things McCain, tired and hideous. But HAH! Drop it in Illustrator and it’s completely editable.

  • LarryFeltonJ
  • Aurelio

    I tried,

    I am RASHEED

    the PIMP

    DON’T TAX ME FOR WORKING HARD.

    No luck with this, either.

  • Guitar_Guy

    Cool! I sent up a fake one just to see if this was legit at all. I’m now “Franklin the Welder” and have my sign.

  • Odd Ass City

    [re=142136]Steeevyo[/re]: I am Sambo The President

  • rocktonsammy

    Joe the Plumber

    I blew Hannity

    Sarah wouldn’t!

  • Tra

    I AM refusing to learn from
    THE previous mistakes

  • ZOMG! Epic! LULZ!!

    Well, I went with:

    I am Cindy
    The Reformed Addict

    I had it sent to my Ms. Bud account, so we’ll see. Fingers Crossed!!!

  • Eastcoast Elitist

    [re=142083]PrairiePossum[/re]: “I AM AN INVESTMENT BANK CEO EARNING AN 8 FIGURE INCOME PLUS BONUSES

    I HATE PAYING TAXES. TAXES ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE.

    MAY I PLEASE HAVE ANOTHER BAILOUT PLEASE?”

    this is pure genius!!!!!! lmaooooooooooooooo

  • Odd Ass City

    I am Bart
    The Sheriff

  • TeeRah

    I went the obvious:
    I am VOTING FOR
    the OTHER ONE
    I would seriously be surprised to have that arrive in my inbox.
    Also, too, as well, “I am WALNUTS the FUCKTARD” is the best sign ever.

  • azw88

    I AM Russia
    The Palin Neigbor

    I AM Palin
    THE Nigga hater

    IAM THAT ONE
    THE Next President!

  • DarkSynergy

    I AM Telling Jokes about

    THE Raping Gorilla

  • blinky_twinkie

    I AM Cindy
    THE Heiress

    and

    I AM Cthulthu
    THE Destroyer of Worlds

    I have high hopes for the “Cindy” one…

  • Paul the Journalist

    I AM Bill
    THE Unrepentant Terorist (one r for space concerns)

    I’m pretty sure I’m getting that one

  • zetetic

    I AM Carol
    THE Spurned Woman

  • Odd Ass City

    I am McCain
    The “You-Know-What”

  • ZOMG! Epic! LULZ!!

    Let’s so how I do with mine…

    I am Cindy
    The Reformed Addict

    I had it sent to my Ms. Bud account, so we’ll see. Fingers Crossed!!!

  • TootTootToot

    I am Sarah
    The Baby Factory

    I don’t think they liked it :(

  • DarkSynergy

    I AM Shooting living creatures

    From the seat of a helicopter

    —–

    I AM Seeing the Russians from

    The home for special needs babies

  • zenferretwork

    I am Joe
    The Prevaricator

    has not arrived…

  • azw88

    [re=142196]Dindc[/re]: Love it!

  • Paul the Journalist

    I AM Drinking
    THE Metamucil

  • HomoPolitico

    [re=142180]keepinitrealyo[/re]: WIN!!!!1!!!11ONEONEONEEXCLIMATIONPOINT!

  • Eastcoast Elitist

    [re=142149]iolanthe[/re]:

    These are the same people who were all pissed at the “wall street fat cats” for profiting from the mortgage melt down, and wanted them to pay for their own bailout. Now when Obama wants to tax these same “fat cats”, “joe sixpack” is all “nah, that’s socialism! TERRORIST!!!!”

  • Kwame&#39

    [re=142080]spencer[/re]: I love you.

    I AM The Secret Muslim Converting
    THE White Wimminz

  • azw88

    I AM Klaus
    THE Butcher of Leon

    was a no go…… (and I was SURE some Nazi reference would be allowed!)

  • sanguinesu

    I AM excited about THE TruckNutz
    I AM broke because of THE Republican economy.

  • Guitar_Guy

    Right On! On behalf of my boy Tink from Minnesota. I am now officially Jesse The Wrestler!! Woo Hoo!!!

  • LolCas

    I am Cindy
    The fucking cunt trollop

    still waiting…

  • LolCas

    I am so high right now from
    The ginormo bong hit I just took

  • Que Sera Sarah

    I AM SPARTACUS.

    THE END.

  • stephie4

    I just made one for myself: I am Stephie the 8 peso whore

    for my brother who works at Budweiser – I am Greg the Alcoholic Beer Man

    for my dad – I am Steve the Disgruntled Mailman

    for my mom – I am Sue the Crazy Cat Lady

    for my fiance – I am Leslie the Angry Black Man

    and for my cat – I am Daisy the H.B.I.C.

  • Dientes

    I AM Michelle Bachman
    THE Grand Inquisitor

  • Kwame&#39

    I AM The Resurrection and
    THE Light

    I AM Cuckoo for
    THE Cocoa Puffs

  • iwillsavethispatient

    I am trapped in
    the sign making factory

    I am three sheets to
    the wind

  • Maus

    I love this thread so very much.

  • steverino247

    I tried foreign languages, just in case:

    I am JUANITA
    The PUTA MADRE

    and

    I am ADOLF
    The JUDENBRENNER

    I figured they’d really go for the German, being fascist bastards and all.

  • Blue Line

    This is possibly the best Wonkette thread ever.

    I still haven’t gotten my ‘I am Obama the next president’ sign…shocking, right?

  • AK Insomniac

    I AM Sarah
    The Albatross

  • limberliz

    I just kept it simple:
    I am Liz
    The community organizer

  • run_said_ran

    I Am Disgusted By
    The Republican Campaign.

  • funkyj

    [re=142108]Garble[/re]: [i]How did so many people swallow the absurd myth that the rich work harder than the poor?[/i]

    Exactly! The whole republican “class warfare” mythology is founded on the idea that

    (1) the golden rule does not exist
    (2) any true story of rags to riches obliterates the argument that the game is rigged for Halliburton no bid contracts.

  • Blue Line

    I am a Redneck
    the McCain base

    I am Sarah Palin
    the worst VP pick, ever

  • ohiolobbyist

    I AM Dog
    THE Bounty Hunter

    still hasn’t come through…

  • malloc_debug

    I AM Brad
    THE Biological Father

  • Red Headed StepChild

    I AM Vladimir
    THE illegal campaign contributor

  • bcluxton

    I am losing
    the election

    and nothing… has anyone actually received it? Hilarious thread!

  • Red Headed StepChild

    I AM Sarah Palin
    THE God-loving n###er-hater

  • Guitar_Guy

    I’m now also officially “Garrison, the Teacher” as in the famous gay Mr. Garrison from South Park! Yeah!!!

  • Red Headed StepChild

    I AM Cindy
    THE pill-popping cum-dumpster

  • gjdodger

    I AM going back to the Senate, where
    THE lobbyists kiss my ass

  • robaralis

    I am “so against” the “polar bears, they hurt the economy”

  • Outstando

    I AM SCRATCHING
    THE CROTCH RASH

    I AM RON PAUL
    THE PROPHET

  • malloc_debug

    Bupkiss:
    I am TruckNutz the Movie
    I am Cindy the trollopy c*nt

  • ohiolobbyist

    [re=142163]tiny mexican[/re]:
    I AM Joe Lieberman
    THE 65 year old virgin.

  • Outstando

    I AM OUTWITTED BY
    THE COLONOSCOPY LADY

  • Paul the Journalist

    I AM Spreading
    THE Wealth

  • OffTheRecord

    I just wanted to say that I love each and every one of you all.

  • Jim’s Mom

    I AM banging
    THE v.p. Yee-haw!

    -Todd Palin

    lemonreport.blogspot.com

  • dotdotdotdotdot

    I AM Thurston Howell

    THE Third

  • Kwame&#39

    I AM Ginger
    THE Movie Star

    I AM Calling from Inside
    THE House

  • Dernyul

    I AM sodomizing
    THE alter boys.

  • stumpycuse

    I am Dick N. the Babysitter… no sign yet. Of course, I probably should have said “page boy” then they would think I was a republican.

  • Jim’s Mom

    I AM ready, and fully armed, for
    THE new world order

    -Govr. Palin’s Foreign Policy Advisor

  • AK Insomniac

    I AM sick of campaigning;
    THE VP’cy is not mine!

  • Jim’s Mom

    I AM
    THE Walrus

    -Coo Coo Ca-Choo

    lemonreport.blogspot.com

  • Guitar_Guy

    OK, I’m done now. I’m officially, according to my new sign, “Anita, the Psychiatrist”. Woot!

  • Dernyul

    I AM amused by
    THE following video of John McCain:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLVSURlFoQs

  • stolichnayaaa

    I AM
    THE WALRUS GOO GOO GA JOOB

    I AM LOST, WHERE
    THE FUCK AM I

  • ZOMG! Epic! LULZ!!

    Must stop but continuing endless giggle fits with this thread…

    I AM Tobias
    THE Never-Nude Actor

    I AM W.
    THE One That Fucked the GOP

  • Hot_Carl

    I am “not a fan of”
    The “gays.”

  • ivenson

    I am Reaping

    The whirlwind

  • Lazy Media

    I am Vlad
    The Impaler

    I am Legion
    For We are Many

    I am the Egg Man
    I am the Walrus, coocoo cachoo

  • Sarah&#39

    I AM Sarah!
    THE Veep! lolz!

  • jagorev

    I AM DEATH
    THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS

    (this’ll lock up the neoconservative vote)

  • Shem the Penman

    Marian the Librarian gets no McCain love. Guess he’s written off the ALA …

  • jagorev

    [re=142180]keepinitrealyo[/re]: Oh screw you, you elitist early-posting Gita-quoting Kaurava-appeaser.

  • Outstando

    I AM ALLAH
    THE MERCIFUL

    I AM
    THE WALNUTS

    I AM TRYING TO USE
    THE BATHROOM

  • Blue Line

    I AM in
    THE tank

  • bluebrazos

    I AM Burgling
    THE Turds

    I AM shooting milk out
    THE nose

  • Lazy Media

    I am tired of
    The kids always on my lawn

    I am rolling four
    The hard way

    I am Elwyn
    The Tinkleberg

    I am grasping at
    The straws

  • AK Insomniac

    I AM having fun being
    THE thorn in your ass

  • Que Sera Sarah

    I AM having fun with
    THE sign generator!

  • Paul the Journalist

    My co-worker actually just got her sign back:

    I AM Jade
    THE Welfare Recipient

    Don’t Tax Me
    For Working Hard

  • PentagonBookkeeper

    I AM Max triple amputee
    THE one who got fucked in the ass by a Bush

  • dvm258

    I AM Darth Vader
    THE Father

    I AM The Felon In
    THE Barney Costume

    I AM Ricky Williams
    THE Coke Addict

    I AM Bridget
    THE Illegitimate Black Child

  • Dientes

    I AM Knut, PLZ don’t let
    THE GILF shoot me!

  • PentagonBookkeeper

    I AM Katherine Harris
    THE mother of Michelle Bachmann

  • schvitzatura

    I AM Fred
    THE Cancerian from NJ

  • middleamerican

    Don’t think this one will go thru…

    I AM Sarah Palin
    THE Six-Pack Slut

  • PentagonBookkeeper

    I AM the Alaskan Allah
    THE one who shall reveal all of Sarah Palin’s misuse of power

    I AM Piper
    THE jet setter

  • schvitzatura

    I AM John S. McCain III
    THE WALNUTS!

  • Teclo

    I Am John
    The Golddigger

  • AK Insomniac

    I AM your sanity
    THE one you left in Nam

  • Teclo

    I AM Step ‘n’ Fetchit
    THE One Black Guy at your Rally

  • wonkthis

    I AM hoping I can fuck
    THE VP too, Todd

    I AM smarter than
    THE average republican

    I AM sure NAMBLA loves
    THE McCain/Palin Ticket

    I AM not surprised
    THE RepublicansWillLose

    I AM sure Palin was
    THE wrong VP choice

  • PentagonBookkeeper

    I AM pie
    THE lucky piece in Barry’s mouth

  • slinkimalinki

    I AM in
    THE mood for dancin’

  • slinkimalinki

    hhmmm.
    I AM abdullah
    THE halal butcher

    doesn’t seem to work either

  • DieOnTheTurnpike

    I AM Mark
    THE Page Texter

  • expatinOz

    I AM Roberts,
    THE Dread Pirate

  • gjdodger

    They’re tough. I couldn’t even get through:
    I AM Bill
    THE Weatherman
    I mean, what if a real weatherman wants a sign? He could put it on the six o’clock news.

  • gypsysc2

    So racist!
    It gave me “kristen the CEO”
    but refused “nasser hussain the professor” who really is one of my professors.
    I guess the mccain campaign would alienate their base if they accepted support from the A-rabs though.

  • TheSchmid

    I AM (name withheld)
    THE Abortion doctor

    I AM Bristol
    THE Unwed Teen Mother

    I AM Alaska
    THE worst state

  • Ska Boss

    I AM voting for
    THE black dude
    Don’t tax me for working hard!

  • Sub_Standard

    I am SANCHEZ
    the DIRTY

  • expatinOz

    I AM so much happier after reading
    THE thread

  • chunkstyle

    [re=142205]graysong[/re]: eeeeeexcellent **rubs hands together** lets start sending edited signs to mccain palin supporters. they won’t notice cuz they’re blinded by the magic of hate!

  • Ska Boss

    I am: Ron Paul
    The: RON PAUL

    I am: Colorado
    The: Democratic State

    I am: Sarah Palin
    The: Functioning Retard

    I am: Obama
    The: PRESIDENT, old man!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Holy shit I don’t think I have ever seen this many people try to create their own WALNUTS rally sign. This is pretty epic by Wonkette standards. Rock on, all of ye with signs.

  • HappyLanding

    I am Mark Foley
    The inspiration for Cocktober

  • schvitzatura

    [re=142398]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: In the great tradition of Chevy’s ‘Make Your Own Tahoe Commercial’…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oNedC3j0e4

  • Blue Jefferson Clinton the Cat

    oh this post just made my day! Laughed my ass off!

    My submission pales in comparrison but I submitted
    I am NOT FOOLED by
    The LIES OF McCain PALIN

  • S.Luggo

    1. Some of my best friends are Alaskans.
    2. Move where?
    3. Don’t need no stinkin’ Code. Just pay me in coin of the realm, Ameros.

  • mookworthjwilson

    —- the Cambodian Sex Worker?
    —- the Vietnamese Prison Guard?

  • jjgittes

    I am VICTOR
    the CLEANER

    Don’t tax me for working hard!

  • The Church of Realism

    Frank the Tank Mechanic

  • Ska Boss

    I AM: homeless, thanks for
    THE: deregulation, dick.

  • The Helvetica Scenario

    I AM using
    THE internet!!!!!1 ha! ha!

  • hamletta

    I fucked up, y’all. I haven’t checked my spam/Yahoo account in so long, it was suspended. But anyway, here goes:

    I AM Tsarina of all
    THE Russias

    I’m very fond of ’40s film star George Sanders and his masterwork, Memoirs of a Professional Cad.

  • Hart88

    I AM Colonel Kurtz
    The Horror, the Horror…

  • Mark Narwhalberg

    I AM George
    THE Macaca.

  • Mark Narwhalberg

    I AM Rudy
    THE President of 9/11

    I AM registering Mickey
    THE Mouse to vote.

    I AM SHOOPIN’
    THE WHOOP!

  • jbd

    [re=142132]blankforobama[/re]: It turns out that it’s less fun when nobody blocks things like “Your White Teenage Daughter” or “Space Overlords from Xenu”.

    “Shemales” is still tempting, but all the more tempting with the McCain cockblockage. They wouldn’t even let John the Revelator through.

  • sanantonerose

    Kwame? WIN for the When a Stranger Calls urban legend reference.

  • Terry

    I am voting against
    the old grouchy guy

    They seem to have accepted this one.

  • Snarkfest

    I AM -SCREWING WITH
    THE -WINGNUTS

  • stephie4

    I AM not THE father!

    I told you Maury! I told you ~ she a trifling scallywag ho!

  • Terry

    I am repelled by
    the lying of McCain

  • Chotchingsley

    I AM hiring all
    THE mexicans.

  • Chotchingsley

    I AM Viggo
    THE Carpathian

    I AM Rummy
    THE War Criminal

    I AM Taking
    THE Blue Pill

  • Que Sera Sarah

    I AM watching
    THE Capitals lose

    I AM sipping
    THE elitist latte

    I AM creeped out by
    THE saggy jowels

  • azw88

    I AM
    THE refore Ithink

  • aleks

    I am John McCain
    The gold digger

  • ms_mcgee

    I am Mike Rotch, the Social Worker.

  • Isaac Laquedem

    It so far hasn’t sent me my two requests:
    I AM Charlie
    THE tuna

    and

    I AM Carol
    THE jilted wife.

  • CivicHoliday

    I am Sarah
    The leader of the Senate

  • JGB

    I AM Tucker McElroy
    THE Lead Singer

    I AM Tucker McElroy
    THE Driver of the Winnebago

  • Shortbus joe

    I am Pissing
    The Depends

  • azw88

    I AM Bob
    The Builder

    …Si se Puede!

  • tednugentslover

    I am KARL the FAILED ARCHITECT
    sent to info@karlrove.com

    I am RICK the CROSS-EYED STRATEGIST

  • Shortbus joe

    I am Pissing in
    The Depends

  • schvitzatura

    I AM Jack Dawson
    THE King of the World

  • Shortbus joe

    I am Scared of
    The Right

  • Chotchingsley

    I AM “the health” of
    THE mother

    I AM picking up
    THE tab for AIG

  • Shortbus joe

    I am John
    The Fascist

    I am Sarah
    The Anti-Christ

  • tednugentslover

    i am : K-LO
    the: Batshit Crazy

    sent to: klopez@nationalreview.com

  • demian

  • JSDC007

    I am Larry Craig

    the toilet Goblin

    Don’t tax me for working hard.

  • Jim Newell

    This is an obnoxiously good thread. Thank you everyone.

  • Mark Narwhalberg

    I AM bitterly clinging to
    THE guns and religion.

    OK, I’m done now.

  • TJBeck

    I AM FUCKING
    THE VP CANDIDATE’S 17-YEAR OLD DAUGHTER

  • demian

    [IMG]http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/ee136/demian213/tank.jpg[/IMG]

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    I AM Vicki
    THE other woman

    I AM Mittens
    THE Bitter

    I AM humbled by
    THE other spammers

  • NameBilly

    I AM Your Job in
    THE crapper

  • tropaean

    I AM Flushing
    THE John

    How soon we forget

  • boyhowdy

    I AM librarian
    THE not-book-banning.

  • NameBilly

    I AM cranking
    THE handle

  • boyhowdy

    I AM Colin Powell
    THE fork-sticker-inner.

  • veganrampage2

    I AM baby jesus
    THE crying from your lies

    I AM an ocean of rage
    THE repugnicants venality

    I AM wrath of GOD
    THE fires of hell await thee

  • NameBilly

    I AM Conan
    THE barbarian

    I AM Yertle
    THE turtle

    I AM Satan
    THE father of lies

    I AM the Lord, thy God
    THE one that brought thee forth from Egypt

  • ph7

    Don’t detour from the sign page! There’s some spooky shit!

    Aimee Rathburn: “As hunters prepare for the first day of rifle season for deer in the Eastern Plains, Senator Obama should answer why he disparaged all hunters as he mocked Governor Sarah Palin, as a ‘Governor, mother, moose-shooter.’ Real Colorado sportsmen should know the best way to prepare for Barack Obama’s visit would be to hide their guns.”

    http://www.johnmccain.com/Informing/News/NewsReleases/66d37078-ee6e-49b1-8e50-3419ba29bc3c.htm

  • ph7

    I AM George
    THE Decider

  • calmer than you are

    My “I AM Rod THE Fluffer” entry was approved…BUT changed to “I AM Rod THE Republican”. Really.

  • Early and Often

    I AM God
    THE Muslins are right

    I AM always
    THE Runner-up

    I AM peeing on
    THE stick

  • The Church of Realism

    HAHAHA! Frank the Tank (Mechanic) went through.

  • jjgittes

    Good gravy, Victor the Cleaner went through. I’m so fucking proud of myself:

    http://www.johnmccain.com/actioncenter/joe/joepdfgenerator.aspx?rguid=b7b59c3f-ce5a-4dd7-851a-5a8f9d379fcd

  • bulliestogo

    lol! Look at that beautiful design. That was so worth the wait.

  • FreshCliches

    I AM Sancho
    THE Adult Actor

  • Mark Narwhalberg

    What I lack in willpower I make up with insomnia.

    I AM Snape
    THE Potions Master

    I AM Day Man, Fighter of
    THE Night Man

  • Baconcat

    I am hunting for
    the glory hole.

    No word yet.

  • Pierce Moffett

    I am Christ
    The King

  • SayItWithWookies

    I AM looking forward to
    THE war crimes trials

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=142583]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh, me too! I’m going to watch them with a huge bowl of popcorn and a HUGE grin of vindication.

  • Them

    Christ, I came to this late. But still:

    I AM Sarah

    THE Rape-kit-denier.

    I AM Hussein

    THE President

    I AM Trigger

    THE Fetus who should’ve been aborted

  • kneejerk

    The Strangers reference was awesome. Lock this ridiculous meme down, please?

  • facehead

    I AM “THE WALRUS, I AM”

    THE “EGGMAN”

  • Isaac Laquedem

    Ha! It gave me “I AM Charlie THE tuner” (with my apologies to the Chicken of the Sea producers)

  • Isaac Laquedem

    Ha! It gave me “I AM Charlie THE tuner” (with my apologies to the Chicken of the Sea producers).

  • facehead

    I AM JACKY,

    THE SPERM DONOR

  • PoJunk

    I am David Frum
    the Obnoxious Pundit

    I am John Kerry
    the man fixated on undies

    I am Hilary
    the pantsuit wearer

    I am Joe
    the unemployed

  • naomix

    I AM LAUGHINGMYASSOFFAT
    THE WONKETTE

    I AM SUSPENDING
    THE CAMPAIGN ‘TIL 2016

    I AM STILL WAITING FOR
    THE STRAIGHT TALK

    I AM NEIMAN MARCUS
    THE SMALL TOWN VALUES

    I AM UNABLE TO IGNORE
    THE MOSQUITOES, SARAH

    (re. her pageant speech about how Alaska has both mosquitoes and beautiful mountains, but it’s up to us what we focus on)

  • naomix

    No McSigns for me yet… I even looked up an Omaha zip code, figuring SF digits would be an automatic disqualifier…

  • poptimist

    I am Mark Foley
    the “babysitter”

  • OhFuckThis

    I am Buddy the lobsterboy.

  • gjdodger
  • Slim

    I AM in yr pollz stealin
    THE votez

  • gogal
  • soymocha

    I am Sarah the Incurious.

  • yo’daddeh

    I AM become Death,
    THE Shatterer of Worlds.

  • Lee Atwater

    I AM stuck inside
    THE campaign headquarters

    I AM waiting for
    THE man

    I AM drinking
    THE Kool-Aid

  • coolcatdaddy

    It won’t let me have my signs!

    I AM Bruce
    THE Interior Decorator

    I AM Larry Craig
    THE Restroom Attendant

    I AM Jack
    THE Porn Star

    I AM Sarah Palin
    THE Walking Talking Point

  • SulkyGirl

    I AM sick of
    THE Republicans’ racism

    I AM Itchy
    THE Hooker from Miami

    Dammit I need that last one!

  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    I AM Indiana
    THE Blue State.

    I AM sorry I pissed off
    THE late night comedian.

    I AM Apouk
    THE Destroyer.

  • gjdodger

    I AM losing
    THE election

  • ExecutorElassus

    I AM Leon
    THE Professional

    I AM in love with
    THE underage erstwhile pornstar

    I AM drinking
    THE whole milk

    I AM blowing up
    THE Police Chief

    I AM Working for
    THE Mob

    I AM a lot like
    THE Senior Senator from Arizona

    Obviously, the only way I could not get arrested is by posting all those is in sequence, Burma-shave style.

  • gradgrind

    I AM Carol
    THE first and still best Mrs. McCain

  • friendlynerd

    I AM Learning
    THE Google

  • The Church of Realism

    I AM Dora
    THE Explorer

  • Formerly Preferred

    [re=142605]gjdodger[/re]: Wow–after all of that, that’s all you get? I was hoping for a nice font that was suitable for framing. I could do that in MS Paint.

  • DeathOfIrony

    I AM stirring up THE wing-nuts…

    I will proudly display in my yard!

  • djm8

    I had high hopes for
    I AM FISTEE THE CATCHER and I AM JOHN THE ESCORT
    but alas, no.

  • boredatwork

    I AM drinking until
    THE election is over.

  • B00kr

    I AM Blaming
    THE Minorities.

    Geez, just doin’ my job, bro.

  • Hello Sunshine

    I AM the resurrection and I am
    THE light

    I AM being robbed, please call
    THE police

    I AM not working hard or paying
    THE tax bill that arrived in April.

    I AM a big sign in
    THE front yard

    I AM Oscar
    THE Grouch

  • Whorange

    I am Sarah Palin
    THE clothes whore 105K

  • gjdodger

    [re=142704]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Well, after all, it’s the McCain Campaign. I’m surprised they don’t scrawl it out with a Magic Marker and snail mail it to you.

  • DieOnTheTurnpike
  • bobloblaw

    http://flickr.com/photos/29253998@N04/2963999757/

    i am an idiot voting for the republicans came in…

  • bobloblaw

    [re=142155]kth[/re]: actually, i did – my real first name and my real job. no dice.

  • Chotchingsley

    photoshop, my friends. get to it!

  • bobloblaw

    WOAH! WTF?! i never got my poster –not even the legit one, but guess what i did get? ENROLLED on the McCranky NEWSLETTER! Mother f’ers….

  • ms_mcgee
  • BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=142605]gjdodger[/re]: Fucking brilliant. Congrats!

  • sezme

    The most fun of submitting these is later on when you get that first email from the McCain campaign and you can unsubscribe with the reason ‘no longer a McCain supporter’. Bonus fun: you can then enter a reason in the comment section.

  • Theo_Mobius

    How long does this thing take?

    I am Bahlzdepin the Waitress
    I am Kuverden the Seaman
    I am Touchebois the Scout Master
    I am Rechinfur the Brazier
    I am a couple of other ones that I forgot.

    I don’t think this even works. Kuverden the Seaman surely should have gone through, because that’s my actual name and occupation.

  • ZarkinFrood

    I AM pork
    THE other white meat

    I AM surfing
    THE internet for pr0n

    I AM remembering to cup
    THE balls

    I AM Henry
    THE Eighth
    (I am, I am)

  • LostProphyt

    Some of my contributions:

    I AM Angry, & Will Become
    THE Incredible Hulk

    I AM Tony Stark,
    THE Invincible Iron Man

    I AM Conan
    THE Cimmerian

    I AM Bobo
    THE Monkey

    I AM Mad At
    THE Elitist Right

    I AM Sick And Need To Hit
    THE Bathroom Soon

    And I submitted a comment, and was surprised to discover their Thank You page suffers from poor CSS implimentation: All I saw was the right menu column extended over the width of the whole page. Stay Classy, McCain Web People!

  • totoro

    Levi
    Fucking Redneck

  • ZarkinFrood

    I AM giving rimjobs to
    THE Republicans
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM Quaker
    THE Ha-Ha Guy
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM exploiting
    THE system
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

  • Iggy Plop

    i didn’t get my sign back, but now i’m being spammed by the mccain campaign thanks to the email address i provided. why didn’t i see that coming?

  • ZarkinFrood

    I AM Gandalf
    THE Grey
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM Cindy McCain
    THE Cyborg Queen
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM elderly, so get
    THE f^ck off my lawn!
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

  • ZarkinFrood

    I AM not 100% in love w/
    THE tone of yours
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM a member of
    THE Whig Party
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM Miss November
    THE girl of your dreams
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM BATMAN
    THE CAPED CRUSADER
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

  • Coco

    I AM a victim of
    THE Keating Five

  • ZarkinFrood

    I AM dancin’ in
    THE streets
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM sofuckinghighon
    THE methrightnow!!!11!
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

    I AM dicking off on
    THE company dime
    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

  • szechuanpalace

    I AM afraid of
    THE robot revolution

  • Ipag

    I AM Barack Obama
    THE POTUS

    (DON’T TAX Me FOR WORKING HARD)

  • liberalmother

    I AM G. Gordon Liddy
    THE Watergate Plumber

  • liberalmother

    I AM a $150,000 Makeover of
    THE Emperor’s New Clothes

  • Flo NG

    I AM Sarah
    THE sore loser

    I AM Jowls
    THE non President

    I AM Thom Jefferson
    THE fake American

  • stolichnayaaa

    I AM IN CHARGE OF
    THE SENATE

    I AM JEFF
    THE DRUNK

    I AM RALPH
    THE UNEMPLOYED CUSTOM SIGN PAINTER, THANKS A LOT ASSHOLES

  • mobile-home-refush

    I AM repulsed by palin
    THE f@#ktard

  • LarryFeltonJ

    Fantastic! I went back to the site today with a different email address and the McCain campaign mailed me my “I’m Willard the Rat Rancher” sign. That’s the one I’m going to carry if I make it to a Palin rally. I think this link will take you to my beautiful sign.

    http://www.johnmccain.com/actioncenter/joe/joepdfgenerator.aspx?rguid=82e8d122-ecd4-4bdd-9d2c-eeb8c2624cad

  • LarryFeltonJ

    I was beginning to think the McCain-Palin campaign was taking creepy-guy-raising-killer-rats-in-the-basement vote for granted.

  • LarryFeltonJ

    My faith in the integrity of the McCain-Bachmann or Palin, or whatever that crazy person’s name is, has been restored. Overnight I got my “I am Bullwinkle the Moose” and “I am Bilbo the Hobbit” signs.
    If a Palin rally happens here it created great opportunity for costumes.

  • wolfy

    Man, I totally haven’t gotten any of mine! I thought Pimpleface the Christian or Fatass the Racist might get by them, but I guess not.