Wonkette
We commend the Secret Service agents assigned to Barack Obama, who have to put up with all of this INSANE crap he always announces a mere couple of weeks before big events, such as, “let’s not hold this historic rally in a safe, easily securable arena, let’s have it in a HUGE OPEN-AIR PLACE WITH GUNS EVERYWHERE.” Because the Obama campaign has chosen Chicago’s Grant Park, an enormous FIELD, as the venue for his election night rally, where he will deliver a speech, outdoors, in the dark. Why is Barack Obama trying to give everyone heart attacks? [The Swamp]
NO!!!! There are grassy knolls EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Is he a Mulin or is he the Pope? He has to pick one!
Remember the floating security robots y’all were in a tizzy fit about? Well, we’ll all wish ‘em godspeed…with their special armamemt of Hellfire missiles and laser nose fixtures. I wouldn’t stand too close to a suspicious looking character in the crowd.
Well, at least it isn’t a hotel kitchen.
That’s a nice place. …with lots of concealing trees.
BobLoblawLawBlog: Sigh. Thanks for that.
If the Cubs/Dodgers series showed anything, it’s that Chicago residents can’t hit anything at night.
Heyyyyoooooo!
Rainbows and unicorns are impervious to bullets.
…John McCain will perform is election night speech in the middle of a cemetery. So after he has conceited he can immediately be entombed and buried.
Doesn’t matter. By the time Obama makes his victory speech he’ll already have all of us in his Madrasa Prison Labor Terrorist/Communist/Muslin Death Camps. So… Moot.
“Horribly Dangerous” would be Hill Country, NC. Overrun with bears.
Jim, get a grip, man. The Nation of Islam and Orange Squirrels will provide security. Ain’t no brothers will want to off him, and any crazy whitey that ain’t afraid of the NoI deserves to get his balls nibbled off by the Squirrels.
Don’t worry. Barry is a trained elitist killing machine. He has eyes all over his body and knows 12 forms of Marshall Arts. He once killed a man with his eyes who was standing 50 yards away. He’s one bad ass mother *shut yo mouth*.
Gopherit: What about magic bullets?
It is o.k. Ayers will bomb the hell out of anyone that tries to hurt his terrorist friend Hopey.
But Chicago has strict gun-control laws. He’d have to be safe there, no?
Grant Park is quickly becoming my favorite place in the Chi. First it was Stevie Wonder. Then it was Kanye West. Now, it’s Hopey! My head (and genitals) might explode if I see the Hopester in the same place! Since Indiana is in the EST, I will fly like the wind on one of the magical campaign unicorns to make it to the party. Too.Much.Excitement! Back to calling Hope-filled volunteers.
Barack Obama’s victory speech = walk onto stage, drain a few 3’s, obligatory god bless whoever, fireworks, done.
Tarheel: Now a construction site for a school!
Hairy Reed: Catch-22. Only a unicorn can sell you magic bullets.
tunamelt: Tell me it’s not Sirhan Sirhan Elementary.
Well, if he’s got the Chicago Police on his side, any would-be assassins will be thoroughly beaten and gassed.
Tommy Says Soooo: Sure. That’s what Cyrus said in Central Park, and man wasn’t it a bitch to get home after that fiasco.
Look out Barry! It’s Da Bears!
It reminds me of that movie The Warriors.
Grant Park is famous for being the place with the fountain from the beginning of Married With Children.
Forget Hopey. Grant Park is a dangerous place at night for ANYONE!
Canmon (the Inadequate): Get out of my head! Damn you!
WIDTAP: Beat me to the punch.
Dave J.: Win.
November 4. In Chicago. At night. Prediction: 37 degrees with freezing rain.
BobLoblawLawBlog: WIN!
The audacity of Kevlar….
Canmon (the Inadequate):
Obama: Can you count, suckers? I say, the future is ours… if you can count!
Now, look what we have here before us. We got the Hilarites sitting next to the Bidenauts. We’ve got the Kucinich Kids right by the Richardson Rangers. Nobody is wasting nobody. That… is a miracle. And miracles is the way things ought to be. Can you dig it?
Obamananiacs: Yeah.
Obama: Can you dig it?
Obamananiacs: Yeah!
Obama: Can you dig it?
Obamananiacs: YEAH!
I’m with Madeline. It’s not the bullets that will get him; it’s the weather.
WIDTAP: Just got to get past the dudes dressed up as Ron Guidry and all will be fine.
Madeline: Perfect, since many people have said either “I’ll vote for a black man when hell freezes over!” or “Hell will freeze over before a Black man is elected President”
Min: Damn, It’s 1841 all over again.
Hint: They never said he would “physically” be in the field delivering this speech. Barry will be running the United States from the safety and privacy of his luxury spaceship. His image will be beamed down onto the stage for this and all subsequent “appearances”.
Min: You mean, he’ll give a 2 hour speech in a blizzard like THIS FOOL and die?
Obama is smarter than that, he’ll wear a coat, quite likely a bear-skin coat (which would explain recent events in Carolina)
Bobby Kennedy was shot in an enclosed space. A kitchen in fact, so I don’t see what the problem is here. He was always going to be outside somewhere you know. There needs to be a place where you can shoot off fireworks - cause that sucka’s gonna win! I’m just sayin’
azw88: Maybe we should all chip in and buy Barry a hat.
WIDTAP: I hear he’s The One and Only.
I wish he’d stay in Hawaii till 20 Jan 09 when he appears in DC in an invisible 2 feet thick full body protective armor, courtesy of the Gleeptrons of Alpha Cetrifujex 5g3.
This idea is really a part of his economic recovery plan. He figures that forcing three hundred thousand poor inner city people to sit in sub zero weather for six or eight hours will likely kill off 15% of them, thus saving the federal government millions in welfare, medicaid and free cheese.
Reporters had better come equipped; like in ‘68–
http://monroeanderson.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/08/25/monroe_1968_6.jpg
Min: Can it be a funny pope hat?
If we can all get nekkid, I just might go!
Paradise: I don’t see why not. Although “funny pope hat” is a bit redundant.
HOPETOPIA!! WOO! I’ll totally be there. Oh, and I’m sitting in a Miami Starbucks trying to get a VIP ticket to the Great One’s rally tonight.
Madeline: sounds like DC!
magic titty: Then I’m out. Shrinkage in Chicago is a bitch.
Hey man, he handled the Tiergarten in Berlin.
shortsshortsshorts: “Marshall” Arts? Would that be Gary or Penny? Or Peter?
Thank goodness he’s not going to win. I’d be worried if all those secretely racist voters weren’t going to turn tail and vote for McCain come election day.
Obama will kick back the bullets. In slow motion. In real time. And then fly away into the sky and talk to his space father.
Hey, a lot of liberals got their heads cracked open in Grant Park. I know it was a long time ago, but it’s never too late for Hopey to even out the karma. Take that Dead Mayor Daley.
jodyleek: Marshall Fields.