DAMAGE CONTROL  10:00 am October 21, 2008

Michele Bachmann Says She ‘Never Questioned Barack Obama’s Patriotism’

by Sara K. Smith

Acorn!The proudly ignorant baby farmer and bold anti-flourescent light crusader Michele Bachmann, Congresswoman from Minnesota, has been horribly victimized by the liberal left-wing anti-American attack machine. All these crazy leftists have been watching this Hardball interview she gave last week and reading the transcript of the interview, and, based on this publicly accessible and quickly verifiable information, reaching easily supportable conclusions! Well she’s had about enough of this nonsense.

Today she mounts a stirring self-defense on Politico:

Despite the way the blogs and the Democratic Party are spinning it, I never called all liberals anti-American, I never questioned Barack Obama’s patriotism, and I never asked for some House Un-American Activities Committee witch hunt into my colleagues in Congress.

OK true, she did not call all liberals anti-American, but she did say this:

MR. MATTHEWS: You put three words together — liberal, leftist and anti-American. How do they all fit together, those three terms — liberal, leftist and anti- American?

REP. BACHMANN: Well, that’s a good descriptor for Jeremiah Wright. It’s a perfect descriptor for Bill Ayers. And those are friends and people that Obama has pointed to as his mentors. In his book, Barack Obama had pointed to Jeremiah Wright as one of his mentors, and also Father Pfleger as one of his mentors. Two of the three mentors are Father Pfleger and Jeremiah Wright. Now, these are very strange, anti-American mentors.

She also said this:

MR. MATTHEWS: So you believe that Barack Obama may have anti- American views.

REP. BACHMANN: Absolutely. I’m very concerned that he may have anti-American views.

And as to the McCarthyism dealy, there’s this:

REP. BACHMANN: What I would say — what I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think people would love to see an expose like that.

Peggy Noonan suggested last week that Sarah Palin is such a wretched idiot that she doesn’t even know what kind of dangerous trash she’s peddling these days. Palin just reads the speech and then plays another game of foosball while her supporters wave monkey dolls and shout “terrorist.” Michele Bachmann doesn’t even have a foosball table, which makes her even worse.

‘I never called all liberals anti-American’ [Politico]
Rep. Michele Bachmann tells Chris Matthews on “Hardball” media should probe Congress for “anti-America” views. Transcript. [Chicago Sun-Times]

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Hola wonkerados.

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ph7 October 21, 2008 at 10:05 am

She may just be very good in bed. Ever hook up with a crazy chick for a night? She’s got that awesomeness. Just don’t leave any personal information behind…

heronimule October 21, 2008 at 10:07 am

Those eyes!

ReverendJeffy October 21, 2008 at 10:08 am

I’m sorry… do we have a vice-presidential candidate that supported having her state leave the union? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind. Sure, it’s anti-American, but it’s also kind of quirky and fun, like Saddam Hussein.

llyn October 21, 2008 at 10:08 am

Excellent post, Sara. I especially like your first paragraph. I haven’t checked the grand total of El Tinklenberg’s war chest this morning, but in the middle of the night it was more than $600,000.00. I love it that the Internet and the Web are making it possible for progressives to do end runs around the Rovian evil-doers.

SwanSwanH October 21, 2008 at 10:09 am

Shoot. Me. Now.

WagTehGod October 21, 2008 at 10:11 am

All your baseless accusations are belong to us.

dano October 21, 2008 at 10:11 am

[re=141091]ph7[/re]: I also have a weakness for teh crazy women. They will bang you stupid and then attack you with a kitchen knife. Just remember to sleep with one eye open.

Varchar October 21, 2008 at 10:11 am

[re=141091]ph7[/re]: Now that’s what I call a ‘penetrating expose’.

Spackle Camshaft Palin October 21, 2008 at 10:13 am

Tobias: You know, mother Lucille, there’s a psychological concept known as denial that I believe you’re evincing. It’s when a thought is so hateful that the mind literally rejects it.

Lucille: You are a worse psychiatrist than you are a son-in-law, and you will never get work as an actor because you have no talent.

Tobias: Well if she’s not going to say anything, I certainly can’t help her.

TGY October 21, 2008 at 10:14 am

Trying to put the toothpaste back into the tube. Awkward.

Neilist October 21, 2008 at 10:14 am

[re=141091]ph7[/re]: Excellent point, Ph7. Which is why I make it a point to save the business cards of particularly obnoxious opposing counsel. They make such perfect gifts for fat chicks and coke-crazed stalking hookers.

“Hey! Call me! Or better yet, swing by my office! We’ll have lunch!”

nyhfrog October 21, 2008 at 10:15 am


You can say whatever you want about yourself. I just can’t get the image of you freaking out about wire hangers, or sitting in a corner with your eyes wide open turning on and off a lamp,out of my mind. It seems so natural for you.

You’re mental.

Neilist October 21, 2008 at 10:17 am

Oh, and Sara?

Isn’t it “McCarthyism,” rather than “McCarthism”?

“Hey! Call me!”

MISTAHCOUGHDROP October 21, 2008 at 10:17 am

When is Michelle Bachmann going on SNL?

zkemeny October 21, 2008 at 10:18 am

Not that I’m saying that all Wingnut female politicians look the same to me, but…her and Sarah Palin are kinda inventing a new “Raven-haired Right-Wing Sexy Woman In Politics” archetype, arent they?


nurple October 21, 2008 at 10:20 am

I favor Ms. Bachmann’s re-election, because then we all know where she is.

Delicious October 21, 2008 at 10:20 am

Elwyn Tinklenberg make kookoo video:


llyn October 21, 2008 at 10:22 am

[re=141102]Spackle Camshaft Palin[/re]: Great name. Did you invent it? or did you use the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator?

Meth Lab for Cutie October 21, 2008 at 10:23 am

was this broad in Bachman Turner Overdrive? because she sure as hell ain’t TCB …

Servo October 21, 2008 at 10:24 am

Baked crow for dinner tonight.

Fly-over Correspondent October 21, 2008 at 10:24 am

[re=141091]ph7[/re]: I’d rather soak my cock in Drano. It would be less painful in the long run.

AngryBlakGuy October 21, 2008 at 10:25 am

…I too have a fetish for the pyscho women, I thought I was the only one! Something about receiving 25 missed calls from a private number or always having to scan the parking lot before leaving work just turns me on!

reilly3000 October 21, 2008 at 10:26 am

“You put three words together — liberal, leftist and anti-American”

As they say, two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do. Is she saying that liberals are actually… right?!?

4everjung October 21, 2008 at 10:28 am

How come Walnuts got all the sexxy crazies like Fpoopenwhore and Michele while Obama’s got, what, Oprah.

Delicious October 21, 2008 at 10:28 am

[re=141115]Meth Lab for Cutie[/re]: tickling Chewbacca’s beard?

AngryBlakGuy October 21, 2008 at 10:28 am

[re=141112]nurple[/re]: …maybe we can sedate her and collar her with one of the dog collars that shock them whenever they get to close to the fence?

Nigerian Business Executive October 21, 2008 at 10:29 am

Poor Michele. With Kitty gone she thought she was going to be The Pretty One of the GOP. Now Sarah has come along and, well, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to get some attention ’round here.

jagorev October 21, 2008 at 10:30 am

[re=141118]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You dated her too, huh?

twoeightnine October 21, 2008 at 10:32 am

[re=141091]ph7[/re]: I’d love to fuck her stupid. Luckily I have a reputation as a minute man.

hockeymom October 21, 2008 at 10:33 am

That better not be what he did with the 800-grand we raised for him.
Because everyone knows that the only person who can talk to cows is Marky Mark.

WadISay October 21, 2008 at 10:34 am

Does the retraction–actually, I guess it’s a (false) denial–mean that El Tinklenberg has to give back the million bucks he raised off this?

Spackle Camshaft Palin October 21, 2008 at 10:34 am

[re=141114]llyn[/re]: Little’a both.

However, I’m tempted to use the Sarah Palin baby name generator to name my actual children.

dano October 21, 2008 at 10:36 am

[re=141118]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Yes, a sense of danger can be intoxicating. But be wary. Toying with an unstable woman that’s off her meds is playing with dynamite. Your car will most likely be the first casualty. If she thinks she can’t hurt you emotionally she will destroy your property and then attack you physically. Sure the sex is great but never turn your back on her lest you find a knife in it.

magic titty October 21, 2008 at 10:40 am

“You people are taking what I said to mean what I meant and I will not stand for it any longer! Too long have my words been used to demonstrate my thoughts, and that is flat-out WRONG!”


Masorca October 21, 2008 at 10:40 am

I live in the twin-cities, and while I dont live in this devolved slug’s district, I just contibuted to Tinkenberg’s campaign. Not much $, mind you, but it sure made me feel better

norbizness October 21, 2008 at 10:40 am

Looks like Tommy Lee Jones hit her up with one of those mind-erasing laser pointers, or she’s just an unbelievably stupid and disingenuous piece of shit Republican. At least three words in that last clause were probably redundant.

JSDC007 October 21, 2008 at 10:41 am

And my name isn’t Michelle Bachman either.

Its…uh…Patricia Heaton. Yes, that’s it. Patricia Heaton.

Meth Lab for Cutie October 21, 2008 at 10:41 am

[re=141121]Delicious[/re]: can you really be so blessed as to be unfamiliar with the BTO anthem? Good for you!

junkscience October 21, 2008 at 10:46 am

So yep, a million dollar mistake right there. I wonder if this will actually turn into anything.

Schadenfried October 21, 2008 at 10:48 am

[re=141118]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Looks like men can be just as stupid when it comes to the opposite sex.

forgracie October 21, 2008 at 10:53 am

God help me…I’d hit it.

Sara K. Smith October 21, 2008 at 10:54 am

[re=141107]Neilist[/re]: Oh you and your spelling.

AngryBlakGuy October 21, 2008 at 10:56 am

[re=141124]jagorev[/re]: …you never realize how crazy they are until it is too late!

grendel October 21, 2008 at 10:57 am

Goddammit I will not stand for these smears of foosball! Mrs. Bachmann is in no way associated with foosball and is in fact anti-foosball (being as half the men on the board are black and have questionable associations with other black foosball players). What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-foosball or anti-foosball?

ph7 October 21, 2008 at 10:58 am

[re=141125]twoeightnine[/re]: Helpful hint: Borrow a single Zoloft from any woman you know and take one at the start of the evening. It’s a excellent cure for the minute man issue.

aviatrix October 21, 2008 at 11:00 am

[re=141091]ph7[/re]: Where Palin loses any semblance of cuteness the minute she starts talking Bachman is totally a dominatrix. Don’t make “Krugman” your safe word or they’ll be removing the business end of that American flag in an operating room.

Unindicted Co-Conspirator October 21, 2008 at 11:01 am

While I certainly didn’t like a lot the crap that Jeremiah Wright spouted, he did spend six years in the Navy as a medical corpsman.
That’s a helluvalot more patriotic than Cheney, Rove or most of the other wing-nuts out there!

Keram2 October 21, 2008 at 11:01 am

This light bulb needs replacing.

lawrenceofthedesert October 21, 2008 at 11:03 am

Those doubting Minnesota’s potential for wind farming must be impressed by these recent gusts; Mickey takes the Sound and Fury concept to new depths. And her oration is a great gift to Darvon Dingleberry or whatever the hell his name is — she may snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. People of Minnesota, beware of public servants in double-strand pearls! Those aren’t a string of muskie eggs she’s wearin’, y’know.

AngryBlakGuy October 21, 2008 at 11:05 am

[re=141131]dano[/re]: …yeah, I know its a bad idea but sometimes you just cant help it. The ironic thing is that the crazy ones seem to have the best personalities as well, just don’t try and break up with them. That is when they unlock the gates of hell on your ass!

AngryBlakGuy October 21, 2008 at 11:07 am

[re=141151]Schadenfried[/re]: …you don’t even want to know about some of the things I have been involved in, just to get laid!

Servo October 21, 2008 at 11:13 am

[re=141134]magic titty[/re]:
“What do you mean by ‘you people’?”

Itsjustme October 21, 2008 at 11:15 am

[re=141093]heronimule[/re]: What is up with her left eye?! It looks like it has a cross in it.

bago October 21, 2008 at 11:20 am

You can turn your back on a person, but you can never turn your back on a drug. Especially when it’s waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye.

Baconcat October 21, 2008 at 11:23 am

There’s something oddly ‘Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf’ about today’s Republican party.

The mousy girl screams ‘Violence, Violence!’

binarian October 21, 2008 at 11:23 am

She must have really great muscle definition in her lower legs from all that back pedaling. Good aerobic workout I imagine.

kidcroesus October 21, 2008 at 11:26 am

This picture isn’t so great (bad teeth), but there was another one on HuffPo where she looks really hot, in kind of an Erin Gray on Buck Rogers kind of way. As far as nutjobs go, I think shes way hotter than Sarah Palin– a total NILF.

specialed October 21, 2008 at 11:26 am

My seven year old son who is autistic can provide a more cogent argument than “Did Not!”

stephie4 October 21, 2008 at 11:27 am

Tink is up to $810,000 in donations since Crazy Cooze made her statements on Friday. And the DNC is giving him $1,000,000 now –


Bachmann’s camp says: “We expect that the $2 million that they want to spend now is all going to be negative,” Marston said. “We have tried to run a very positive campaign” — yeah, last time I checked, calling for a witch hunt was a VERY positive way to run your campaign!

ph7 October 21, 2008 at 11:30 am

She’s do anything to plaase her man – she went blonde for Dr. Dobson…


OzoneTom October 21, 2008 at 11:30 am

[re=141095]llyn[/re]: I don’t think that Tinkerbell qualifies as a progressive, but it would sure be nice to have Bachmann follow Kitty into the shadows of forgotten history, so that makes the contribution worth it.

masterdebater October 21, 2008 at 11:39 am

She is the archetypical republican female politician. The wingnuttiest ideas that one can imagine, and totally insane. Now, there are some that you might use the, crazy = good in bed argument for, but this one…no, I’d rather have my man-meat smacked flat with a wooden mallet.

persiflage October 21, 2008 at 11:41 am

Note to Tinklenberg: keep a close eye on your pet rabbit.

Scarab October 21, 2008 at 11:44 am

Michele Bachmann is a crazy bitch!

(I never called Michele Bachmann a crazy bitch)

ph7 October 21, 2008 at 11:46 am
aleks October 21, 2008 at 12:02 pm

I live next to Michelle Bachmann’s district. The woman is Sarah Palin writ small.

Ilikepigeons October 21, 2008 at 12:17 pm

How could any of you want to tap someone who wants to ban Aladdin from
middle school for some for teh pagan witchcraft. gross.

Ilikepigeons October 21, 2008 at 12:19 pm

[re=141256]Ilikepigeons[/re]: sorry for the extra for.

dano October 21, 2008 at 12:19 pm

[re=141256]Ilikepigeons[/re]: “How could any of you want to tap someone who wants to ban Aladdin from
middle school for some for teh pagan witchcraft. gross.”

Good question. The answer is a combination of self hatred and morbid curiosity.

oy vey October 21, 2008 at 12:20 pm

she would benefit from a pearl necklace of another sort, though.

Ilikepigeons October 21, 2008 at 12:22 pm

[re=141260]dano[/re]: thanks for clearing that up.

iolanthe October 21, 2008 at 12:24 pm

[re=141125]twoeightnine[/re]: How stupid can you fuck a girl in just a minute? Seems like you’d barely get her to “confused” … ??

President Beeblebrox October 21, 2008 at 12:26 pm

I’d hit it, fist of angry god, etc. But she does look loony.

liquiddaddy October 21, 2008 at 12:27 pm

I think her tight-enough-to-choke pearl neckless is both tacky and erotic.

Lazy Media October 21, 2008 at 12:28 pm

Elron Tingleberry proves in that campaign commercial that even COWS are frightened by Michelle’s crazed mug.

longjohnson October 21, 2008 at 12:31 pm

Is the pearl neck-less code for something?

S.Luggo October 21, 2008 at 12:37 pm

[re=141095]llyn[/re]: $700,000. http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/2008/10/a_day_at_the_congressional_rac_25.php

[re=141093]heronimule[/re]: In exchange for Bachmann’s promise to embrace the darkness, Lucifer gave her Blingee eyes. They burn so bright that they’ve shorted the neural pathways in her brain. Hail Satan. http://photos.upi.com/story/t/46159e0a406cd33a8a382679481bac51/Bachmann_Obama_comments_misconstrued.jpg

problemwithcaring October 21, 2008 at 12:42 pm

But did you read that Politico piece? It is sooooo awkward! It’s all full of equivocations (“I never called all liberals anti-American.”) and rhetorical questions (“Why isn’t it appropriate to ask about the formative relationships he’s had?”) that are contradicted sentences later (“The Democrats don’t want to talk about the pocketbook issues that are really on the minds of Minnesotans.”)….

A stunningly perfect redux of the McCooter campaign so far…..

Miller October 21, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Her or Palin, which one is more crazy/hot? Bachmann might be crazier, but is she hotter? How crazy is too crazy to negate the hotness? We need to know.


magic titty October 21, 2008 at 12:45 pm

[re=141292]problemwithcaring[/re]: Good to know all Minnesotans carry pocketbooks.
She is so obviously going to lose. And then kill herself.

supremecourtjester October 21, 2008 at 12:56 pm

Riiiight! And we never questioned her sanity because—we don’t have to, we already know.

gogal October 21, 2008 at 12:58 pm

a witch hunt is of course positive campaigning. a lot of people can participate and all that fire makes it warm and shiney

Larry McAwful October 21, 2008 at 1:01 pm

What is this? Is Michele Bachmann still batshit crazy? When will she stop?

Great. Now I have to give another fifty bucks to Elwyn Tinklenberg, who took his name from a famous elf prince.

TeddyS October 21, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Her brain is still frozen from last winter. GOP needs to start finding lady wingnuts from warmer climates.

tiger October 21, 2008 at 1:22 pm

What a freak. I love that photo, she’s all Barbara Bush jr. like, those fuckin pearls…

Cape Clod October 21, 2008 at 1:26 pm

Next she will deny that she mouth kissed and molested President Fucknuts.

j6n October 21, 2008 at 1:30 pm

[re=141093]heronimule[/re]: Does she blink? She looks like she was just using that contraption from A Clockwork Orange

GayInMaine October 21, 2008 at 1:39 pm

[re=141113]Delicious[/re]: That’s what he’s doing with his $600,000 windfall? There goes a lot of money out the window. On the positive side, we get two more years of Michele Bachmann stories on Wonkette!

cheeto_jeebus October 21, 2008 at 1:52 pm

To coyote oneself always seemed to me a half measure post regrettable sex. I think chewing one’s arm off rather than waking the beastie is still gonna leave you with the thoughts. stabbing yourself with an ice pick in the ear may work? or ritually sawing off your nads with a piece of kite string may help to put a line between you and the act. I’ll get back to you with my conclusions when i find some.

BobLoblawLawBlog October 21, 2008 at 1:57 pm

There goes another 400 large for her opponent. This bitch is worth her crazy in gold.

shoeho October 21, 2008 at 1:59 pm

How in the hell did this wild-eyed batshit crazy bitch get elected (hell, even NOMINATED?) in the first damned place? Ice carnivals not withstanding there can’t be that many crazy people in Minnasota, can there? I mean, really?

Chuckie Jesus October 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm

[re=141471]shoeho[/re]: Ice carnivals not withstanding there can’t be that many crazy people in Minnasota, can there? I mean, really?

Maybe not in Minnasota, but here in Minnesota, you betcher bippy.

Rusty Shackleford October 21, 2008 at 2:04 pm

If this was a Monty Python skit, we’d burn the witch. Jeebus, she’s a special kind of stoopid.

miss_emish October 21, 2008 at 2:18 pm

I’ve lived in MN for 5 years now. I have no idea how this damn population votes. Anyone has a shot. Anee-onee. I think we’re just contrary. I’m not in Michelle’s district, but there is still a driving campaign across districts to get her out. I live The Muslin’s district, and just moved from the Green Party controlled district (Yes! The Green Party is alive and well in the great white north. and also proves my whole “anyone” statement)

keepinitrealyo October 21, 2008 at 2:29 pm

I wish I could have read this, but since I pay for 4 times as much power using only incandescent bulbs, I can only afford to run my computer (also tube-based) for an hour a day.

funkyj October 21, 2008 at 2:51 pm

seriousness alert (apologizes in advance for lack of snarkiness):

What really chaps me is that “anti-american” and “pro-american” is such demogogue bullshit! Just try to get psycho-bitch to define what “anti-american” is and you will see someone trying to nail jello to a wall.

I listened to (or read) Jeremiah Wright’s (sp?) entire “inflammatory” speech. It was perfectly reasonable. Apparently “anti-american” means acknowledging facts that show America in a negative light rather than subscribing to the truthiness of the neo-con myth of American perfection.

For the record, I do not want a “pro-american” president (or senator or congressman), I want a “pro fairness and justice for the entire world” president.

blinky_twinkie October 21, 2008 at 4:08 pm

If George Orwell wasn’t deadern’a doornail, he’d be laughing his ass off right now. Or vomiting. Or laughing and vomiting.

At no point during the making of this post did I say anything about George Orwell’s patriotism or his ability to vomit and/or laugh. I have great respect for those Americans (and let’s face it, the British are really Americans who eat gross stuff) who are able to vomit and laugh. I have friends who vomit and laugh simultaneously while being English. God bless America.

twoeightnine October 21, 2008 at 4:52 pm

[re=141270]iolanthe[/re]: I’m pretty sure that with Mrs. Bachmann I’d have 30 seconds of wondering what to do next.

buford October 23, 2008 at 5:06 pm

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