Wonkette
My friends, it looks like the McCain Campaign is pulling out of three states they badly needed: Colorado, New Mexico and Iowa. Instead, they’re pouring whatever they’ve got left into Pennsylvania (Obama +12), Florida (McCain +1), Virgina (Obama +10 or +6), North Carolina (Obama +7 or +3), Ohio (even), and Nevada with its suddenly crucial five electoral votes. Nevada barely went to Bush Junior in 2000 and 2004 but is now tipping to Obama. It is pretty remarkable how many important states McCain has surrendered. Why are they announcing this stuff? [Political Wire/FiveThirtyEight.com]
Wow. They’re really bad at this.
Perhaps McCain can confuse Obama by running away more.
IOWA???? McCain is a really dumb fuck. Here’s how to win FOR SURE! Announce you’re quittin’ on a state you might actually have a small chance to win, and go to PENNSYLVANIA????
I was thinking this means I can drink for 15 straight days without care or remorse, but I’m actually not sure that’s so smart….
Either he is even dumber than I thought, or he has a red phone to Osama bin Laden’s villa, and the cash to finance whatever it is he wants to do next! I think it’s the first one, but, in case it’s not, I guess I’ll stay awake for a couple more weeks…..
There is no snark here, and for that I apologize..
Glow in the Dark Truck Nutz.
RubberSoul: All part of the we have them right where we want them thing???????
Isn’t this move called the Diebold Defense?
Ah, Bun E. Carlos, the drummer who looks like a mid-level sales manager. How can you ever live up to Robin Zander’s charisma or Rick Nielsen’s zaniness? Best to sit back on the drum stool and count the fours. “Mother told me, yes she told me, I’d meet girls like you. She also told me stay away. You’ll never know what you’ll catch.”
Thanks for the update, dumbass campaign. Go ahead and try to win ALL of the tossup states + PA (Kerry & Gore & Clinton & Clinton state) with a massive financial, enthusiasm and execution disadvantage. Real men of genius, these people.
He’s just trying to imitate Obama’s strategy. Hopey pulled out of North Dakota on Sept. 22 and has been kicking butt there ever since:
http://www.pollster.com/polls/nd/08-nd-pres-ge-mvo.php
Apparently Rick Davis never heard of this:
Mommy’s alright, Daddy’s alright, they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away.
Doesn’t Davis look like a coked out serial killer? Has he killed campaigns before? Because this one is definitely a cheap trick (good graphic, Kenny boy)
How much would I have to alter the headlines to make someone out of the loop believe that the US is in a new civil war?
Sabre_Justice: No alterations needed. Chimpy must be proud of this wonderment of a campaign…..
Quacker: This was supposed to be in there….
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0475dMV2457CU/610x.jpg
Obama’s from Illinois…Cheap Trick’s from Illinois. COINCIDENCE?
Rick Neilsen may have had a guitar with 5 necks, but the Nuge has one with a crossbow attached, so he can shoot libruls in the eyeballs. You can’t shoot Rick Davis in the eyeballs, because they point in different directions.
I’m thinking that Mac announced pulling out of the Mountain West states to deny Hopey all those frequent flier miles.
tednugentslover: you need a second shooter. On the grassy knoll…..
Team McCain’s not worried cause they’ve got an ace in the hole. Palin’s witch hunter has it on good knowledge that the Rapture’s neigh before the election. Then Jesus will hand over the Alaskan kingdom to Queen Palin and King John the Pale and they’ll live happily ever after (while the rest of us are broiled alive by Satan and the Antichrist).
The McCain campaign is becoming more and more like Kevin Bacon at the end of Animal House, “Remain calm. All is well!”
And why do they keep announcing this. They must know how this hurts the local Republican parties.
So it has come to this. The last two weeks of the McCain campaign is going to be spent on the faint hope that the bitters in Pennsylvania are racist enough to lie to the pollsters and vote McCain.
Which means that McCain’s mandate will be to keep whiter than Obama when he is president.
In other new more threats from nutjobs, this time at government officials.
http://www.bradblog.com/?p=6539
I want you, to want to vote for me, Barack!
Your mama’s alright, your daddies alright, they just seem a little bit weird, but probably because they’re Repuglicans.
Wait, do they even have a strategy get to 270?
Worlds End: Oh, the real crazy has yet to begin. Check this out — Obama is using secret hypnosis techniques to make people like him against their will. Warning — toxic level of batshit.
http://www.pennypresslv.com/Obama%27s_Use_of_Hidden_Hypnosis_techniques_in_His_Speeches.pdf
SayItWithWookies: I’m calling poe’s law
ooh we’re back to the certain states don’t matter game! except this time we get to add to the fun by declaring certain states “fake,” “anti american” & “socialist”. awesome, walnuts’ version is way better than hillz’.
Ha ha, November is going to be a good month.
grendel: Only in their world AKA http://superherouniverse.com/wiki/Bizarro_World
Worlds End: That’s useful — I didn’t know that principle had a name. But no, check out pennypresslv.com — “the conservative voice of Las Vegas.” I think he means it.
They figured, fuck, why bother campaigning? We’ve got this thing in the bag… here’s their real strategy: http://wvgazette.com/News/200810180251
Joe the Plumber came and told me what government should do;
Shut up Joe, I pay my taxes, unlike crooks like you.
Folksy mavericks don’t ever pan out like you want –
Just ask Cindy Lou if she is happy with what she got.
Johnny’s insane — Sarah’s insane
They don’t have a fuckin’ clue –
Contender? Contender?!
They don’t know what to do.
They are busy losing ground in all the states they had –
Just like Saddam winning battles closer to Baghdad.
It is going so much better in their imagination –
But they’ll open up their eyes to an Obama nation.
Johnny’s insane — Sarah’s insane
They don’t have a fuckin’ clue –
Contender? Contender?!
They don’t know what to do.
When the final count is in they will not gnash their teeth –
They’ll just fly up to Alaska and happily secede.
Keep an eye on Russia for us with your x-ray vision –
The computer chips inside your brains will make the best decisions.
Johnny’s insane — Sarah’s insane
They don’t have a fuckin’ clue –
Contender? Contender?!
They don’t know what to do.
Also now cuba has 20 billion barrels of oil, wonder if now we can hit them up for cash?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/oct/18/cuban-oil
grendel: Now that voter fraud is a huge concern of the GOP, I expect Fox News, Sean Hannity et all to immediately go on the air to denounce electronic voting machines.
grendel:
Rick Davis: Wait a minute here Steve, 270’s the the magic number?
Steve Schmidt: Shit! I knew we never should have listened to Mark Penn!
Rick Davis: At least the electoral votes in each state are apportioned by the popular vote.
Steve Schmidt: Ya, we’ll easily pick up 21 of California’s electoral votes.
Call them failed states if you will, but McCain is standing down because the New Mexicans, Coloradans and Iowans are standing up.
grendel: Someone posted this earlier interesting to say the least.
http://tpzoo.wordpress.com/2008/09/30/stephen-spoonamore-2008-interview-paper-ballots-please/
Also regarding Ohio. http://www.bradblog.com/?p=6206
John McCain could have taught Levi Johnston a thing or two about “pulling out”.
McLosers might also be planting the fake Obamasm-ers–the people that tell pollsters they are pro-Obama and then plan to switch to McCain on the V-Day.
Seriously though…
Even if McCain wins all the toss ups and holds what he has, pollster.com only gives him 225.
If not Colorado, New Mexico and Iowa, which states exactly does the McCain campaign move into its column whose electoral votes add up to 45?
Florida, Washington and Minnesota? That’s the ONLY POSSIBLE WAY now.
Walnuts, the compulsive gambler, is going to call us all cunts and stomp away in a bad mood on November 5th after another bad night at the tables.
AmericanValues:
Hillz never gave a damn about the maths, so why should McCain? Mavericks aren’t bound by things like rules or logic.
Cha-ching! That is the sound of the nickel dropping to turn Colorado BLUE. Obama-Biden. Both U.S. Senate seats. Minimum five or six of nine House seats. Dem governor. Control of both houses of the state legislature.
The state is bombarded from dawn to dusk with rabid, snarling rightwingnut radio talk show hosts who still believe they are somehow relevant. The Republican Senate Campaign Committee has signed off on the state, and now McGramps and Caribou Barbie are bailing. Appropriately, we get our first decent snow on Wednesday so they can slink out of town under a white curtain.
Can we banish these people to the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nevada_Test_Site
http://thinkprogress.org/2008/10/20/mccain-heckle/
Uh oes, can the comeback kid come back this close to the finish line?
uummm…..
Not bloody likely.
“My fellow prisoners, we’ve got that one where we want him… way out front where we can keep an eye on him.
We make a break tonight, friends. The people have spoken so I’n not spending another day in solitary for those worthless American haters.
Just don’t tell Sarah. Let her figure it out”
Palin was just in Colorado today.
A fakerooni.
I thought McCain equated pulling out of anywhere to defeat? How the hell is PA a good idea, Iraq is still viable, but a Republican winning Iowa is just absurd? Boy, if how they run their campaigns is indeed a microcosmic view into how they’d run the country, we’re in for a serious ass-fucking-with-no-lubrication when the GOP steals this one.
SayItWithWookies:
Very nice, my friend. Very nice. So you stayed up ’till 1:34 am working on this?
He is counting on winning PA via vote suppression in Philly….
Anonymous Office Zombie: Oh, you just know Palin is planning to appoint a Witch Smeller Pursuivant once Walnuts is killed by an evil spell.
Sub: Beat Long Poll Lines with Absentee Ballots from StateDemocracy.org
Many state and local election officials are encouraging voters to use Absentee Ballots to avoid the long lines and delays expected at the polls on November 4th due to the record-breaking surge in newly registered voters.
Voters in most states still have time to obtain an Absentee Ballot by simply downloading an official application form available through http://www.StateDemocracy.org, a completely FREE public service from the nonprofit StateDemocracy Foundation.
Read More: http://us-2008-election.blogspot.com/2008/10/beat-long-poll-lines-with-absentee.html
No-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o, I LIVE in Pennsylvania…… Fuck, fuck, fuck. I already get 4 robocalls a day from that asshat.
grendel: strategy? there’s no strategy any more. and their tactics suck to such an extent they are counterproductive. It will take a hail mary: I suggest “privatize social security” — that should do it.
grendel: Where is the 77-page pdf claiming that Obama is using African Voodoo? I would read that one.
SayItWithWookies: Oops, I meant to reply to your post, not Grendel’s.
What about West Dakota, South Virginia, and New Maine?
I’m not a political mastermind like Schmidt & Davis, but why the hell would you ANNOUNCE you’re pulling out of a state (see MI)? People would figure it out eventually when they quit seeing your ads & getting your crappy mailers, but announcing it has to be the dumbest idea ever … well, other than selecting Bible Spice to be your running mate.
Texan Bulldoggette: It’s supposed to make the states where Walnuts does show up feel warm and fuzzy as he clambers on top of them.
But since he’s used to stepford wives and dumb sorority girls during his fuck-up days at Annapolis, he doesn’t get that even redneck Pennsylvania wimmens don’t like to be second choicers. He’ll find that out when he accepts the invite to Jerry Springer.
McCain pulls campaign staff out of Florida after the entire senior population mails in early ballots for the nice young man who had the decency to visit his sick grandmother which is more than my selfish grandkids have ever done for me. Do you think they came to visit after my last knee replacement? Not even a card.
Concentrating on Pennsylvania is a BAD idea, John. Let me give you a run down of how my Penna. family is voting:
Liberals: Obama
Union Hall style Dems: Obama
Moderates: Obama
Sorta conservatives: Obama
Folks with questionable racial views: Obama
Outright racists: Obama, but won’t tell the guys down at the ethnic club they voted for him
Crazy Wingnuts: Not voting, staying up on the mountain all that day
John, you lost the RACIST vote. You are so bad that racists are deciding to overlook the fact that Obama is black.
On the plus side, thank you for uniting my entire family against you.
This news reminds me of a scene from Apocalypse Now. Put Walnuts in the role of Kurtz:
WILLARD
” They told me that you had gone totally insane and that your
methods were unsound.”
KURTZ
” Are my methods unsound?”
WILLARD
” I don’t see any method at all, sir.”
Hmm, looks like the Coloradastanis don’t want to see them go?
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2008/10/21/vo.palin.protesters.kkco
Tommy Says Soooo: I think the bitterz are pretty much on board with Barry. I suspect the rednecks in Pennsyltucky will soon be getting a heaping helping of Walnuts & Wright.
Lazy Media: And a cunning plan it is.
Texan Bulldoggette: I think the idea is to snatch defeat from the jaws of defeat; i.e., to define your withdrawal on your own terms, rather than allow the enemy to declare victory. See, e.g., Vietnam.
SayItWithWookies: ur2much.
Political Wire commenter edlwaterman writes:
“According to VerifiedVoting.org VA and PA have mostly “hackable” electronic voting machines with no verifiable paper records.”
Start with this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAyEfovA404&feature=related
I think they are testing the American populace. Make it as unlikely as possible that they have a shot at winning, to see if, when they DO (by stealing it), will we revolt? If not, they know we are sufficiently broken, and they can do whatever the fuck they want without us raising more than a meek and impotent word of protest.
That is my conspiracy rant for the day. Please let it not be true. Please please please, Mr. flying spaghetti monster, please.
SayItWithWookies: Call mass hypnosis bat-shit if you will, but if you replace every instance of “Obama” in that essay with “Limbaugh” it actually makes sense…
They’ll end up just in Florida like Rudy in the primaries…counting on voter and election fraud. But not this time.
http://www.verifiedvotingfoundation.org/article.php?id=6624
CivicHoliday: At breakfast this morning, my wife, a peacenik/bunny/tree hugger, threatened armed revolt if (by that she means “when”) the votes are tampered with.
bitchincamaro: If only we had the guns. Then again, we could get all Rwanda on their asses and break out the yard tools. I can wield a mean hedge trimmer.
CivicHoliday: From Mr. flying spaghetti monster: “Bwaa-hah-ha-ha-ha-haaaa! Puny hue-man. Back to work!” [licks blood and mucus from mouth-hole] *slurp slurp smack*”
Oh, a cunning plan is it?
greatgooglymoogly: “Cunning plan”?
Baldrick: I have a plan, sir.
Edmund: Really, Baldrick? A cunning and subtle one?
Baldrick: Yes, sir.
Edmund: As cunning as a fox who’s just been appointed Professor of Cunning
at Oxford University?
Baldrick: Yes, sir.
Voice: On the signal, company will advance!
Edmund: Well, I’m afraid it’ll have to wait. Whatever it was, I’m sure it was
better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad.
I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here?
Boy, does that last line remind one of WALNUTS’ “campaign,” or what?
Dammit. googly beat me. Oh, well, one hardly knows what’s what in the flurry of surrender.
Sen. McCain, here’s to the first song on your new album.
bitchincamaro: OK, go ahead and brag about your wife being a “bunny”, among her other qualities!
Wait, wait, wait… John McCain has heard about the New Mexico?
Man, I loved that canceled show which used “Surrender” as its theme song. It was funny.
AmericanValues: No, he’s betting HARD on Pennsylvania. Harder than any boner he’s had for the last 30 years.
If he can pry it away, he can win, even if he loses NM, CO and IA. Winning FL, IN, OH, PA, MO, VA, and NC will do it for him.
Obama only needs to keep PA if he really gets CO, NM and IA. With those he can afford to lose OH, VA, NC and FL!
But man, I really wish he would take FL. That would provide such a cushion and be such sweet revenge!
Serolf Divad: I was up anyway. Doing those little ditties is like getting ketchup out of the bottle — it takes a while to get started, but then the whole thing shoots out all at once.
This is good news … but on a day when Rudy Ray Moore passes away, all America should pause to mourn the passing of the face of Dolemite.
Oh yeah, Avenging Disco Godfather too. That film makes me want to try angel dust if McCain is elected.
Terry: Don’t forget bald conservative dudes too. Michael Smerconish, the bald conservative radio talk-show dude in Philly, just endorsed Obama.
bitchincamaro: That’s why there’s no more Posse Comitatus and the 3rd Infantry Division are training for domestic activities. Good business for Blackwater too since they will be running the re-education camps under Dictator-for-Life Bush.
Now where’s my tinfoil beanie?
DanginMpls: Bun E. Carlos could give McCain some charisma lessons…
Of course Nevada is tipping. It’s so topheavy.
Maybe this has been mentioned in the above 82 comments, but it’s a hail mary defense on McCains part. He pulls out funding and huts down offcies, and in go the 527’s to ratchet up the negative ads, hate spewing emails, and racist direct actions.
Mark my words. Or at least the daily kos words, who picked up this pattern a couple weeks ago.
McCains campaign has santorum all over his dick and now he’s forcing america to deep throat forthe rest of the video until it’s time for the money shot.
Where will he stick it next?
Remember, the democrats won FL in 2000. They lost it due to a voter registration purge. Same thing in OH.
Think the GOP is not working on this already? Which state will they target? OH again? PA? NV? VA? What is the sleeper state with with demographics that tilt towards democrats and black candidates?
TC, Rick and I had absolutely no idea that Higgins was in Cheap Trick.
Although it is very unlikely he’ll win the states, if McCain doesn’t spend time in Virginia, Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania, it might be a much longer time before they vote Republican in a Presidential election next.
County First!