Barack Obama’s Grandmother In Very Bad Shape!

  oh noes!

Those are the biggest testicles of all timeTo answer your question re: the headline: the white one. She’s so sick right now! According to spokesman Robert Gibbs, “In the last few weeks her health has deteriorated to the point where her situation is very serious.” Rumor has it that she’s still suffering injuries from an incident this past Spring in which a grandson threw her under the bus. Okay, okay. But she’s looking really bad, and Barack Obama is SUSPENDING HIS CAMPAIGN for a couple of days to visit her in Hawaii, during which time he will also save the bailout bill and the economy. Maybe he’ll also sneak in some beach time and we’ll get more shirtless pixxxx!!! [Politico]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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85 comments

  1. Neilist

    Granny finally found out that Barak was the result of her daughter’s attendance at Emily Dickenson College, that epic night when Otter, Pinto, Flounder and Boone took them to see Otis Day & The Knights.

    “Can we dance wif your dates?”

  2. AnnieGetYourFun

    Sad. If I were the prayin’ type, I’d pray for her. But instead, I’ll raise a glass of champagne and send positive thoughts into the ether.

  3. edgydrifter

    OK, this is sad news and all but I can’t resist–grandad is smuggling TruckNutz in those powder blue trousers there. Truly, he was ahead of his time.

  4. jagorev

    Awww, this is just sad :(

    What’s sadder is that somehow, somewhere in the right-wing blogosphere, this is going to be used as proof of Obama’s unpatriotism.

  5. tunamelt

    [re=140778]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Same here. Any health complications at that age… serious business. This is very sad and I wish the best for the family.

  6. shortsshortsshorts

    It was found out that Barry’s grandmother is only 57 years younger then John McCain. If he can live this long, why can’t she see her day?

    OH…. oh. She is a white Kenyan.

  7. Palin-Plumber2012

    I bet McCain will call Obama and tell him several related stories about doctor appointments and friends he knows in the hospital.

  8. Lemming Caution

    [re=140780]jagorev[/re]: clearly, God is punishing Mr. Obama by smiting his grandmother. We should take that as a lesson and vote McCain, lest God smite our grandmothers.

    (in all seriousness, I feel sad for the Obama family)

  9. mattbolt

    Hopes & thoughts, GrandMamaBama

    Oh, and if you’re not depressed, here’s a start: The Freeper thread on the topic. It starts with the word “sick” in make-believe quotes and goes downhill from there, stopping briefly at the incredibly strange comment “Innocent people do not act this way.” Shit, I guess all of us with sick grandparents we care for are headed straight for fuckin’ Folsom.

    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2110777/posts

  10. kdelarosa22

    I hope Gradmabama gets better and gets to enjoy her grandson being elected President. My prayers are with her.

  11. DarkSynergy

    HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. These people over at the free republic don’t deserve the lives they live. I wish face herpes on them all.

    God speed Obama Granmama…

  12. Scooter

    Those crazy white radicals on that bench lived most of their lives in that international hotbed of socialism, Kansas, and they obviously filled up little Hopey’s head with all kinds of wild-eyed reefer-fueled madness. Hard work, nose meets grindstone, bootstrap pullin’ shite that turned him into the most liberal-votin’ molotov-throwin’ maoist in the history of the entire effin universe. I bet nana has a bomb in that purse with the Constitution’s name on it.

  13. HuskyMescan

    [re=140797]mattbolt[/re]: Save the best hits for O’Reilly, send him an email . May those freepers eat shit and live long and miserable lives.

  14. fishcanoeski

    I hope Obama’s grandma sees her grandson take the oath.

    And I hope all Freepers roast in hell for a thousand eternities.

  15. SayItWithWookies

    [re=140797]mattbolt[/re]: Those comments are fucking repugnant and beneath the dignity of your average prison camp guard. Or as McCain calls them, “My base.”

  16. Kinbote

    [re=140797]mattbolt[/re]: Similar nonsense going on over at Little Green Footballs and GretaWire, with much rubbing of hands and licking of chops.

    That’s fucked up.

  17. Dreamer

    I hope she recovers and she gets to witness her grandson taking the oath. I will pray for her and her family.

  18. OffTheRecord

    [re=140797]mattbolt[/re]: Who says bad things about someone’s grandma? Seriously. Grandmas are old and awesome and just generally adorable. Those Free Republic people are sub-human.

  19. WhatTheHeck

    The base of the republican base is running scared.
    All manner of excrement shall emanate from their mouths.

    They are so fucked up, they don’t even realize access to health care should be a basic right of every American.
    Change is coming… even to fools.

  20. HuskyMescan

    [re=140830]WhatTheHeck[/re]: I’m hoping a blue Congress and administration will stimulate science and research. Perhaps we’ll find a cure for Conservatism . I know it will be in the form of a simple suppository.

  21. ShaqsDong

    [re=140833]HuskyMescan[/re]: The conks will be lining up by the thousands to get “cured” again and again…

  22. azw88

    [re=140797]mattbolt[/re]: Those people at that site are fuckheads.. the authors of the site and their posters.

    I’ve been there, when my grandmother had to go into a hospice, I was 800 miles away. I couldn’t jump on a plane to get back to see her, we had to drive back. My grandmother died within an hour of entering the hospice. I never got the chance to say goodbye.

    Obama is able to head back to see her while she is still aware that he is there, he is doing the right thing. Fuck those that want to make this out to be something other than what it is.

  23. Inadequate Blackmail

    I remember when the OKC bombing happened a lot of people around here – in Texas – angrily groused that Bill Clinton didn’t actually care about the people who died in the blast, even though he gave a couple of emotional speeches. These conservative folks really thought that, simply because he was a Democrat, he had no normal human emotions and every single thing he did was politically motivated in some way or other.

    Those ass bastards are freepers these days, apparently. Spit on them.

    Hang in there, Gramma.

  24. BruceLee5000

    God gives with one hand and takes with the other. Man, this is just too Shakespearean, for him to be this close to winning and not have her see it… ugh! Give me a break!!! Let him have BOTH!!! Come on!!!

  25. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    [re=140797]mattbolt[/re]: Freerepublic is the right wing version of wonkette, except they are being serious.

  26. WithMySFValues

    This is extremely distressing news for Obama and his family. Very sorry to hear this. He will always be glad that he went to see her now.

  27. dilhavarti

    Buck up. And now, a little pre-meditation thought for the Eternally Stressed Out Staffer That Hasn’t Quite Had the Smarts to Get Out:

    The Freepers are in plague mentality. All of those Freeper comments (which I won’t read; I’m pretty sure I know what they say) are the seeds of deeds they will perform upon each other in their death-throes.

    Among us, the Smarmy Liberal Intelligentsia, the truly sick-in-the-mind (you know who you are, you sick, cold hearted demons) we will revel. We will bathe in the blood of GOP cannibalism which ensues after a November 4 victory for Da Jesus.

    Imagine the backstabbing, strangling, throat-slitting, drubbing, gang-land slaying, and the oranges-in-a-sock smacking Neocon cage-match power-brokering we’re about to witness!!! THEY WILL EAT THEIR OWN BABIES!!!

    ** Someone please copy the comments, you know, for archival purposes. If there’s a way to get IP addresses, that would be rad, too. **

    Those de-regulating, pants-on-firers are going down, and we are going to CACKLE!!! NYACK NYACK NYACK-style.

    I can’t wait.

    Now go meditate at your Yoga class, Elitists.

  28. MarieDeGournay

    She will. Jesus loves Barry, dammit. He is in the process of building small cages to place the Freepers and have them dunked in boiling oil. Medieval. On. There. Ass.

    Be well Grandma.

  29. druranium

    [re=140843]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: How remarkably insulting to everyone here. Still bitter about Hillary, huh?

  30. SisterTruth

    Oh dear. NOT GRANDMA!!!!!!!! Obama is a such a granny’s boy. Of course, he loved his mum, but his grandma is the one who raised him from start to finish because his mother stayed in indonesia when he decided to return to hawaii. When he dedicated his nomination to her, I cried like the sap I am. People are so focused on how black and terrorist and muslim he is, that they don’t seem to realize that his white granny is is heart and soul.

    This will be so awful if she dies before she gets to see him win the presidency. I think she’ll hold on until election day. People do that sometimes. They hang on just long enough. Hang on grandma!!!!

  31. glamourdammerung

    [re=140843]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: I have yet to see anyone wishing death upon any person’s grandmother here, seriously or in jest.

  32. Lascauxcaveman

    Hang in there Gramabama. Seriously, those Feepers aren’t fit to empty your bedpan.

    Hang in there until at least 21 Jan 2009.

  33. sarcasticusername

    i’ll be seriously mad at god for a bit if she doesn’t live to vote for her grandson for president & see him inaugurated. is that really so much to ask for? can’t we get rid of one of the many truly vile people that populate this world instead?

  34. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I can’t believe you all are falling for this shameless piece of campaigning. Obviously, Obama is either having his Grand fake being ill, or is killing her himself, to draw attention to McCain’s age and the possibility of a President Palin.

    How can you all fall for such an obvious conspiracy. You all will feel foolish when Malken, Coulter, Hannity and Limbaugh make this clear.

    Prove me wrong, people. Prove me wrong!

  35. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    In all seriousness, I wish the entire family well. These are never fun times. And if there are powers that be, it would be nice for you to let her hang on to see Barack win.

  36. Texas2Step

    [re=140833]HuskyMescan[/re]: A very, VERY large suppository.

    Oh wait-they might enjoy that too much.

  37. Sabre_Justice

    She’s not really sick… she’s the mastermind behind the whole campaign!

    Or maybe she is anyway. Get well soon, evil genius granny!

  38. Harold_Ignoramis

    I hope she pulls through. My prayers go out to Barack and his family. Seeing a loved one suffer and in poor health is very hard.

  39. crh86

    Good for him for going to see her, I hope they have some quality time together, and that she hangs in till January.
    On another note, I bet it will actually be good for his campaign to see him with his older white couple, his family whom he loves and who loves him. Lets all get together, people!

  40. NoWireHangers

    Barry will draw strength from this trying time.

    You’ve gotta hand it to the Freepers; their hate always finds a way.

  41. stolichnayaaa

    Freeptastic:

    “Yep, it’s the bottom of the 7th inning and 0bambi is running out the clock to the two minute warning!”

    He better hope he doesn’t get a yellow card!

  42. llyn

    Most of the rightwingnuts are stuck, in every way: emotionally, intellectually, ethically, and spiritually, at some especially off-kilter early stage of development. Somewhere in grade school. Empathy is beyond them.

  43. Weeping Jesus

    Two of my friends lost their mothers in the past week. And yet, somehow, I feel Obama’s possible loss in a way that goes a bit deeper. Maybe the cumulative effect, or something.

  44. CharlesRevere

    Apparently she was released from the hospital last week and has taken a turn for the worse.

    I hope she pulls through, at least until January 2009.

    The silver lining in this otherwise sad story is that America (especially elderly white Florida women voters) get to see the prodigal (grand-)son return home in the midst of Very Important Career to visit his loved one. That should be worth something.

    Of course, the heartless and cynical Limbaugh-tards will raise the question of a Democrat-driven “October Surprise”. The Obama campaign needs to tread very lightly on this, revealing enough information so that its veracity is unquestioned, while preserving the seriousness, privacy and dignity of this unhappy circumstance.

  45. sciencevsromance

    Oh, poor grandmobama. Hang in there! The story is so sad, but your joke about the bus did make me laugh.

  46. BobLoblawLawBlog

    McCain, in his infinite wisdom and sensitivity, is announcing he’ll be bringing up Jeremiah Wright any minute now. Attacking a man with accusations of being one of them “black racists” while he’s off visiting his poor white dying grandmother? Way to
    (a) show yourself to be a complete tool,
    (b) not even make the other side have to defend your accusation, and
    (c) win over those negativity-hating independents.
    Does Rick Davis work for the Dems?

  47. BobLoblawLawBlog

    Oh yes, and, by the way, this is just awful about his poor grandmother. I hope she can hang in there until November.

  48. DangerousLiberal

    [re=140809]Blue Line[/re]: Word. Does anyone have a good “Good German to American English” translator for freeper? The only words I can recognize in any of the posts are “Gotterdammerung” and “Eva Braun.” And that one part where they say “Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein McCain.” The rest is just gibberish.

  49. Serolf Divad

    The Freepers are insisting that Obama is heading back to prevent his Grandma fro making a deathbed confession hat Hopey was born in Kenya and is not a natural born citizen eligible to run for president, because… hey… why else would he possibly leave the campaign trail to visit his dying grandmother?

    The truly sick thing about the Right in this country is how willing they are to believe the most absurd, vile and repugnant things about their opponents. And it speaks to their intellectual sophistication that most of their conspiracy theories are as absurd as they are stupid.

  50. BobLoblawLawBlog

    [re=140969]Serolf Divad[/re]: Wait, what? Seriously? He’s off to silence his grandmother??? That’s the rumor they’re peddling??????? Christ almighty, that is not only insulting and waaaay beyond insensitive; it doesn’t make any goddamned sense.

    I guess this explains why there are no oatmeal cookies at Freeper rallies, though. These guys hate grandmothers.

  51. mumrock

    From Salon.com, an address for sending get well cards:

    Mrs. Madelyn Dunham
    In care of: Obama for America
    Honolulu Headquarters
    1050 Ala Moana Blvd Ste D2690
    Honolulu, HI 96814

  52. maggi

    Sub: Beat Long Poll Lines with Absentee Ballots from StateDemocracy.org
    Many state and local election officials are encouraging voters to use Absentee Ballots to avoid the long lines and delays expected at the polls on November 4th due to the record-breaking surge in newly registered voters.
    Voters in most states still have time to obtain an Absentee Ballot by simply downloading an official application form available through http://www.StateDemocracy.org, a completely FREE public service from the nonprofit StateDemocracy Foundation.
    Read More: http://us-2008-election.blogspot.com/2008/10/beat-long-poll-lines-with-absentee.html

  53. qwerty42

    The Freepers are silly, thoughtless people. By all accounts, Obama’s grandmother was a critical part of his upbringing. She deserves to see him as the 44th president. This is a hard time for Obama and all his family.

  54. SisterTruth

    Barack Obama is a total loser failure as a no-family-values-having- evil-anti-American-traitor-communist-radical terrorist if he’s going to risk the presidency to go be with his grandma. He just sucks at it. He’s getting kicked out of the terrorist club for sure. Is there anything that makes the Republican attacks on his character sound more ridiculous than him telling everybody, “So what if the election is in two weeks. I’ve got to go be with my grandma. Bye.” ?

    We all know men who wouldn’t miss a day of work at a crappy job to visit their sick grandma, and this man is willing to sacrifice this election for his granny. It just makes the Republican attacks look even sillier. “He’s a crazy terrorist who will destroy the fabric of American life…um, when he’s not visiting his grandma.” See it just sounds stupid. Go take care of grandma, Barry.

  55. Itsjustme

    If any of those jackasses were listening to him at the DNC, he said his Grandmother was too ill to travel.

    Sad.

  56. bitchincamaro

    Apparently Barry calls her “Toot”. Probably cuz they used to get high on the Maui Wowwy. I hope she rolls a fatty with Hopey and lives long enough to do the Funky Chicken on the White House lawn.

  57. Terry

    God bless Grandma. Hang in there, please. Like the other folks posting, I want to see Grandma on the stage during the inauguration. Also, Teddy Kennedy and and one of MLK’s kids. That would have me with tears in my eyes. My elderly mother, who still can tear up over RFK and JFK (“Such good boys, they did a lot for people.”, would cry tears of joy for a solid week.

  58. Schadenfried

    [re=140969]Serolf Divad[/re]: I think it’s time we made a freeper google bomb. Let the freeper website come up every time someone types up “mental illness”

  59. TexasCowGirl

    [re=140969]Serolf Divad[/re]: Could someone tells those idiots that even if he was born in Kenya he’d still be a natural born American citizen because his mother was an American citizen. Jesus these people are idiots. Cruel, dumb, stupid, racist idiot LOSERS!

    Get well soon, Gandmamabama. You and Hopey are in my prayers.

Comments are closed.