Our favorite recent McCain campaign talking head, Nancy Poopenheifer, done did it again today on MSNBC while discussing the demographics of Northern Virginia, an area known to John McCain’s brother as “communist country.” Poopenheifer says NoVa has gone bluer in recent years because the Democrats, one day in 2005 or so, decided to move there en masse so as to steal elections. Ergo it doesn’t count as a geographical region anymore — it’s not even on maps — unlike “real Virginia” which is more “Southern in nature.”
Our understanding of how Northern Virginia got so blue is a little bit different: ever since 9/11 the place has been BOOMING in the engineering, tech and telecom industries; there’s plenty of fun new “stuff” that needs a-makin’ for George W. Bush’s various wars — killing weapons, shields — and for spying on everyone who ever makes a phone call. This is all in Northern Virginia, and most of the government’s money goes there. Then fancy kids straight out of college decide, “Let’s move to Northern Virginia to get some of that sweet, sweet Terror money, because we want shitloads of money,” and suddenly a huge wealth gap develops between this new-money terrorbot plutocracy and the lowly serfs. Localized, visible wealth gaps trigger liberal guilt, and liberal guilt triggers voting for Democrats, patting oneself on the back, and then continuing to make weapons of death.
In other words, George W. Bush’s wars and spying turned a Confederate state blue, or as Poopenheifer would have it, “not real.” Hooray for George W. Bush, the president of funding!
Fake Virginia [Ben Smith]