Hoppy Easter!Hey, you bunch of socialist acorns, did you know you have to register to vote, in many states, before you can show up and vote on November 4, for the terrorists? This is what Barack Obama just told your editor and everybody else who signed up for that Veep Announcement text alert nine years ago. In California and Washington (state) and Utah and various other states including Kansas and South Dakota, today’s your last day to register, hippie!

In many places, such as your editor’s giant county populated only by lizards and meth dealers, the Registrar of Voters is open until midnight! So get wasted first, then go register as MICKEY MOUSE of the Dallas Cowboys. Your vote will totally count, don’t worry! (South Dakota is NOT open late for your hijinx. You must register by 5 p.m., today, which is almost now.)

Other states where you can still register to vote for the presidential election deal, if you hurry: Connecticut (postmark that mail-in registration, by tomorrow), Iowa, Nebraska, New Hampshire, Vermont, Wisconsin …. Check this thing to see, exactly, what is going on, in your state. [SF Gate/LAist]

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  1. I don’t understand the bunny photo, but I don’t care. It makes me want to snuggle the bunny. And… almost makes me wants to snuggle that rando in the picture with the bunny. Almost.

  2. Oh, and here in Florida, I’ve already voted, now, where it ends up is anyones guess, but whew! No tripping over a hoarde of fossils to vote on the 4th!

  3. In Washington, it’s worth noting that if you want to register to vote today, it must be in person– mail-in registration ended on October 4.

  4. [re=140287]tunamelt[/re]: Vote no on every badly-worded policy propositions on the state ballot. For the record, that’s every California proposition.

  5. Meh, none of these states are exalted battlegrounds like OH, PA & FL, so who cares. Chuck Todd & John King already have them Sharpied the appropriate color on their magic vote map.

  6. [re=140301]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Prop 4 is California’s political equivalent of a villain in a horror movie. Every time you think you’ve killed it/voted no, it comes back in a new iteration.

  7. [re=140328]Worlds End[/re]: God, don’t fuck with me, ’cause this sounds like every Obama supporter. Every black person in my family supports Obama, yet I don’t know any of them (under age 30) who are currently registered, that I didn’t personally fill out their registration card my damn self…

  8. [re=140329]tunamelt[/re]: So true. Its been on the ballot 4 times now. Isn’t there some kind of law against that kind of horse shit?

  9. [re=140339]problemwithcaring[/re]:

    Your family members wouldn’t happen to be named Bart Simpson, Mickey Mouse and Superman by any chance?

  10. My goddauther’s 18th birthday is November 4. She has already registered, gotten her voter ID and is pretty geeked about it. Since she lives in the terrorist nexus of the USA–Chicago–she has been in the tank for Obama since 1995.

  11. Despite the fact that I live in Utah so nobody really gives a rat’s ass, I’ve been nervously checking my registration every couple of days. It still says I’m registered at my current address, so I shouldn’t need to register today. I’m still worried.

  12. HAHA. That’s right. Washington STATE. Because if you live in DC, you don’t get to vote. Or something. I never really paid attention in class.

  13. Registering to vote is so 20th Century. I just go to the polls and give names of various cartoon characters until the person finally lets me vote.

  14. [re=140378]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yep, Washington State, where we laugh at the District of Columbia’s inability to elect a president. Go play with Puerto Rico and Guam, why don’t you.

  15. [re=140311]Worlds End[/re]: The tard in the video is one of those that claims to KNOW what is in the bible. Well, she needs to drag her FAT-ASS over to where she keeps her bible and read the part about “LOVE ONE ANOTHER!”

    The first call comes from a trailer with an old David Duke sticker on it!

  16. My very ancient dad voted early in NM, straight Democrat and a Dem for Pres, for the first time in his life. Although I think my sister, with whom he lives, had to threaten to cut off his HBO.

  17. [re=140351]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: From the relative size of her pupils to the rest of her eyes the rabbit is Cindy McCain. Stoned doesn’t begin to describe it.

  18. [re=140315]freakishlystrong[/re]: My husband and I voted in Virginia already, too, because they are predicting crazyinsanedeathinducingplaguecausing lines from Hell, panic panic panic, you will be in line for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. Ok, maybe only three hours, but still. So we voted early.

  19. Anyone else in Florida get a mailer from the Florida RNC. I got one addressed to the previous person how rented this place before me. I shows on the top the word crime then Obama’s face and then punishment, saying hes soft on crime. It shows a one particularly funny picture of a farther ready to backhand his child in silhouette. The closing line is Barack Obama not who you think he is.

  20. [re=140356]Serolf Divad[/re]: I might be related to Mickey Mouse’s black ass on mother’s side – they are Puerto Rican. We seriously need online voter registration in CA. We are transitional society – more so for the poor and working class. It’s enough that we ask citizens to translate the 40-page bible that is the California ballot all before close of business. They shouldn’t have to play, Guess Which Voting Place Won’t Harass You About Your ID.

  21. I find that picture a touching portrayal of W’s Christian spirituality, rightly holding the Easter Bunny as the image of the Resurrection of Christ. Did not Christ say “I am the resurrection and delight?” Obviously, he meant the “delight” of children finding colored eggs in the grass. Anybody who says otherwise is an Athiest Muslim Terrorist (AMT for short).

  22. [re=140430]problemwithcaring[/re]:

    Yeah, and next you’ll ask that voting day be a national holiday, or at least be moved to Saturday so people with jobs can actually get to the polls! Shesh!

  23. [re=140326]NoWireHangers[/re]: Not only am I registered, but I’ve already voted. I’m following the vote early, vote often motto this year. Of course, living in Idaho, my votes are a complete fucking waste.

  24. I mailed my absentee ballot today. I vote in Kentucky, so it isn’t really going to matter in the presidential race. But I did do my part to rid the world of the evil known as Mitch McConnell.

  25. Lazy hippies. I voted, like, two weeks ago in Georgia. Which statistically makes me 36 percent black. Wooo! I’ma get laid on election night! And maybe learn to dance!

  26. [re=140383]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: DC gets to vote for preznit, and they get THREE electoral votes, the second-highest per-capita rate of any U.S. citizens (behind only Dick Cheney’s Wyoming), so suck it, America. That’s why it’s Five Thirty EIGHT, when there are only 535 voting members of Congress.

    They don’t get any Senators, and their fake congresscritter, Rep. For Life Eleanor “Roosevelt” Holmes Norton, is not allowed to vote in Congress, so they get no earmarks or other pork, which is why all the streets are potholed, which is America’s Revenge.

  27. [re=140475]Serolf Divad[/re]: Damn straight. There’s a perfectly good reason we vote on Tuesdays. Because that’s the amount of time it takes a white male property owner to travel by horse to his local polling station, without having to get a head start during the Sabbath.

  28. Once again the liberal Kansas lambs are headed towards the big red slaughterhouse/polling booth. I imagine our electoral votes are already tallied up on a Grampy/BibleSpice column somewhere. They say that every vote counts, but not if you’re a hippie voting in Sam Brownback hell.


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