Last Day To Register In California, Washington, Utah, South Dakota, Kansas

  voting is for old people

Hoppy Easter!Hey, you bunch of socialist acorns, did you know you have to register to vote, in many states, before you can show up and vote on November 4, for the terrorists? This is what Barack Obama just told your editor and everybody else who signed up for that Veep Announcement text alert nine years ago. In California and Washington (state) and Utah and various other states including Kansas and South Dakota, today’s your last day to register, hippie!

In many places, such as your editor’s giant county populated only by lizards and meth dealers, the Registrar of Voters is open until midnight! So get wasted first, then go register as MICKEY MOUSE of the Dallas Cowboys. Your vote will totally count, don’t worry! (South Dakota is NOT open late for your hijinx. You must register by 5 p.m., today, which is almost now.)

Other states where you can still register to vote for the presidential election deal, if you hurry: Connecticut (postmark that mail-in registration, by tomorrow), Iowa, Nebraska, New Hampshire, Vermont, Wisconsin …. Check this thing to see, exactly, what is going on, in your state. [SF Gate/LAist]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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70 comments

  1. freakishlystrong

    In some ways, (like the bunny photo), we’re gonna miss that wacky asshole, but in 10 out of 10 other ways, nah…

  2. Hairy Reed

    I don’t understand the bunny photo, but I don’t care. It makes me want to snuggle the bunny. And… almost makes me wants to snuggle that rando in the picture with the bunny. Almost.

  3. freakishlystrong

    Oh, and here in Florida, I’ve already voted, now, where it ends up is anyones guess, but whew! No tripping over a hoarde of fossils to vote on the 4th!

  4. Ipomoea

    In Washington, it’s worth noting that if you want to register to vote today, it must be in person– mail-in registration ended on October 4.

  5. problemwithcaring

    [re=140287]tunamelt[/re]: Vote no on every badly-worded policy propositions on the state ballot. For the record, that’s every California proposition.

  6. Texan Bulldoggette

    Meh, none of these states are exalted battlegrounds like OH, PA & FL, so who cares. Chuck Todd & John King already have them Sharpied the appropriate color on their magic vote map.

  7. Worlds End

    [re=140315]freakishlystrong[/re]: I mailed off the reg form on the last day. I have been waiting for the voter card to show up.

  8. tunamelt

    [re=140301]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Prop 4 is California’s political equivalent of a villain in a horror movie. Every time you think you’ve killed it/voted no, it comes back in a new iteration.

  9. WagTehGod

    It’s just not a rabbit picture on our Wonkette if it doesn’t have a person with a butt-stomach.

  10. problemwithcaring

    [re=140328]Worlds End[/re]: God, don’t fuck with me, ’cause this sounds like every Obama supporter. Every black person in my family supports Obama, yet I don’t know any of them (under age 30) who are currently registered, that I didn’t personally fill out their registration card my damn self…

  11. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=140329]tunamelt[/re]: So true. Its been on the ballot 4 times now. Isn’t there some kind of law against that kind of horse shit?

  12. user-of-owls

    [re=140301]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: And Prop 4, for that matter. Fuck Prop 4.

    And Prop planes. Fuck them, too.

  13. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=140318]shoeho[/re]: Agreed on the eyeshadow, but the lacy French maid peignoir is quite fetching, don’tcha think?

  14. Serolf Divad

    [re=140339]problemwithcaring[/re]:

    Your family members wouldn’t happen to be named Bart Simpson, Mickey Mouse and Superman by any chance?

  15. donner_froh

    My goddauther’s 18th birthday is November 4. She has already registered, gotten her voter ID and is pretty geeked about it. Since she lives in the terrorist nexus of the USA–Chicago–she has been in the tank for Obama since 1995.

  16. JoeFannyPack

    Actually, not to worry. I saw someone selling late voter registrations on Ebay. Search for the seller named NROCA_backwards_wink.

  17. Worlds End

    [re=140339]problemwithcaring[/re]: I was joking about the mail part i hand delivered that bitch.

  18. thesycophant

    Despite the fact that I live in Utah so nobody really gives a rat’s ass, I’ve been nervously checking my registration every couple of days. It still says I’m registered at my current address, so I shouldn’t need to register today. I’m still worried.

  19. AnnieGetYourFun

    HAHA. That’s right. Washington STATE. Because if you live in DC, you don’t get to vote. Or something. I never really paid attention in class.

  20. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Registering to vote is so 20th Century. I just go to the polls and give names of various cartoon characters until the person finally lets me vote.

  21. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Note on the Photo: This picture was taken just before W set his dogs on the bunny in question.

  22. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=140378]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yep, Washington State, where we laugh at the District of Columbia’s inability to elect a president. Go play with Puerto Rico and Guam, why don’t you.

  23. Itsjustme

    [re=140311]Worlds End[/re]: The tard in the video is one of those that claims to KNOW what is in the bible. Well, she needs to drag her FAT-ASS over to where she keeps her bible and read the part about “LOVE ONE ANOTHER!”

    The first call comes from a trailer with an old David Duke sticker on it!

  24. WadISay

    My very ancient dad voted early in NM, straight Democrat and a Dem for Pres, for the first time in his life. Although I think my sister, with whom he lives, had to threaten to cut off his HBO.

  25. donner_froh

    [re=140351]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: From the relative size of her pupils to the rest of her eyes the rabbit is Cindy McCain. Stoned doesn’t begin to describe it.

  26. Doglessliberal

    [re=140315]freakishlystrong[/re]: My husband and I voted in Virginia already, too, because they are predicting crazyinsanedeathinducingplaguecausing lines from Hell, panic panic panic, you will be in line for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS. Ok, maybe only three hours, but still. So we voted early.

  27. Worlds End

    Anyone else in Florida get a mailer from the Florida RNC. I got one addressed to the previous person how rented this place before me. I shows on the top the word crime then Obama’s face and then punishment, saying hes soft on crime. It shows a one particularly funny picture of a farther ready to backhand his child in silhouette. The closing line is Barack Obama not who you think he is.

  28. problemwithcaring

    [re=140356]Serolf Divad[/re]: I might be related to Mickey Mouse’s black ass on mother’s side – they are Puerto Rican. We seriously need online voter registration in CA. We are transitional society – more so for the poor and working class. It’s enough that we ask citizens to translate the 40-page bible that is the California ballot all before close of business. They shouldn’t have to play, Guess Which Voting Place Won’t Harass You About Your ID.

  29. TGY

    I find that picture a touching portrayal of W’s Christian spirituality, rightly holding the Easter Bunny as the image of the Resurrection of Christ. Did not Christ say “I am the resurrection and delight?” Obviously, he meant the “delight” of children finding colored eggs in the grass. Anybody who says otherwise is an Athiest Muslim Terrorist (AMT for short).

  30. Serolf Divad

    [re=140430]problemwithcaring[/re]:

    Yeah, and next you’ll ask that voting day be a national holiday, or at least be moved to Saturday so people with jobs can actually get to the polls! Shesh!

  31. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=140465]KevoTron[/re]: IF YOU TAKE THE TWO SIXES AND ADD UP THE TWOS IT IS “666.” BARACK OBAMA=ANTICHRIST.
    And I’m spent.

  32. natoslug

    [re=140326]NoWireHangers[/re]: Not only am I registered, but I’ve already voted. I’m following the vote early, vote often motto this year. Of course, living in Idaho, my votes are a complete fucking waste.

  33. bitchincamaro

    [re=140465]KevoTron[/re]: Will you please settle on an avatar, already? Who is the real KevoTron?

  34. OffTheRecord

    I mailed my absentee ballot today. I vote in Kentucky, so it isn’t really going to matter in the presidential race. But I did do my part to rid the world of the evil known as Mitch McConnell.

  35. Lazy Media

    Lazy hippies. I voted, like, two weeks ago in Georgia. Which statistically makes me 36 percent black. Wooo! I’ma get laid on election night! And maybe learn to dance!

  36. Lazy Media

    [re=140383]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: DC gets to vote for preznit, and they get THREE electoral votes, the second-highest per-capita rate of any U.S. citizens (behind only Dick Cheney’s Wyoming), so suck it, America. That’s why it’s Five Thirty EIGHT, when there are only 535 voting members of Congress.

    They don’t get any Senators, and their fake congresscritter, Rep. For Life Eleanor “Roosevelt” Holmes Norton, is not allowed to vote in Congress, so they get no earmarks or other pork, which is why all the streets are potholed, which is America’s Revenge.

  37. DemmeFatale

    Even in libtard Northern California, there is much more than the national race to vote on.
    No on 8 and 4.
    Damn fundies!

  38. user-of-owls

    [re=140475]Serolf Divad[/re]: Damn straight. There’s a perfectly good reason we vote on Tuesdays. Because that’s the amount of time it takes a white male property owner to travel by horse to his local polling station, without having to get a head start during the Sabbath.

  39. Scooter

    Once again the liberal Kansas lambs are headed towards the big red slaughterhouse/polling booth. I imagine our electoral votes are already tallied up on a Grampy/BibleSpice column somewhere. They say that every vote counts, but not if you’re a hippie voting in Sam Brownback hell.

  40. WoundedVeteran

    I know you folk are liberals, but the picture speaks for itself…GEORGE BUSH FUCKS RABBITS, THAT’S RIGHT SAYS THE RABBIT, GEORGE BUSH, W. IS FUCKING ME, GEORGE BUSH FUCKS RABBITS ON THE TABLE, ON THE SOFA, ON THE FLOOR, ON THE MAT BESIDE THE DOOR, GEORGE BUSH FUCKS RABBITS, AND HE HAS A LITTLE DICK.

  41. Sabre_Justice

    Get that bastard away from our hot furries!

    …don’t look so surprised, dammit. My avatar is a fox with a sword after all.

Comments are closed.