BLOODBATH  2:07 pm October 20, 2008

House Republicans Just Begging To Be Beaten By Liberal Website

by Ken Layne

Baby farming is un-American!There’s an exciting new trend in these Final Days of the campaign: Some far-right wingnut congressperson goes crazy on the teevee or at one of these Palin Smackdown Trailer-Park Freakouts, and the Daily Kos site declares Financial War on the Republican representative, who of course is up for re-election on November 4 like every member of the House, and the snarling money-having liberals quickly give the dingbat’s opponent half-a-million dollars, overnight.

This clown fell right into the trap when he let himself be videotaped doing, uh, this:

To which Kos, of the DailyKos, says: “Take a look at that video, and tell me if this is someone who will do anything but try and obstruct the Obama/Pelosi agenda? Let’s get rid of him.”

The link goes to, of course, a Dem fund-raising form for this clown Mario Diaz-Balart’s opponent, Joe Garcia, who has already picked up $40K from this Kos thing posted a few minutes ago. It’s crazy.

While this trick isn’t entirely new — Republican congresspeople are cretins, and DailyKos readers are angry libtards — it reached a new level of outrage this weekend, after batshit-lunatic Michelle Bachmann went on the Hardball show and called all the Dem candidates in America “anti-American” and demanded show trials and executions of all liberal traitors in, uh, Congress. It was funny!

So funny, in fact, that the Kos Kids quickly raised $640,000 for Bachmann’s opponent, a friendly hobbit nobody had ever heard of before Friday night.

Even as Rep. Michele Bachmann said she had been misunderstood, strong reaction Sunday to her claim that Barack Obama “may have anti-American views” brought an unexpected shakeup to the race in Minnesota’s Sixth Congressional District ….

Meanwhile, Elwyn Tinklenberg, Bachmann’s DFL opponent, said Sunday that her remarks about Obama triggered a surge of contributions to his campaign that will allow him to wage a more vigorous media campaign.

Tinklenberg’s campaign said that in the 48 hours after Bachmann’s remarks, $640,000 from nearly 13,000 people came in to his campaign. That is more than all donations he received during the entire third quarter.

Suddenly, Bachmann race looks different [Minneapolis Star Tribune]

Related video

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Truculent October 20, 2008 at 1:56 pm

Tinklenberg. Hee hee hee. He must have gotten beaten up a lot in school.

TGY October 20, 2008 at 1:58 pm

AHHAHahahHAhahaa…Dems loaded for bear, money-wise. The mood is ugly, and rightfully so. It’s about damned time.

Datsun510 October 20, 2008 at 2:02 pm

This is the combination of internet connectivity and ground-up fundraising at it’s best. This is something tuned-in liberals are good at!

shortsshortsshorts October 20, 2008 at 2:05 pm

I don’t think just not re-electing Bachmann will be enough. There should be prodding with hot irons and some water boarding. That would set her straight.

TGY October 20, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Also, that’s the Bachmann-with-choker-too-tight pic. She looks like she’s turning a little blue, even.

sarahconnor October 20, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Now that’s welfare I can believe in

HedonismBot October 20, 2008 at 2:15 pm

I used to frequent Kos a lot, but they kept asking for money. So, I volunteered as a Wonketteer in the snark hordes. You guys ask for little more than a love of trucknutz.

m_supercomputer October 20, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Elwyn Tinklenberg?! You’ve gotta be making that up, Wonkette.

AngryBlakGuy October 20, 2008 at 2:16 pm

…oh pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase, donate to Joe Garcia and rid S.Florida of Mario Diaz-Balart! I would consider it a personal favor!

He has brother(Lincoln Diaz-Balart)who also needs to be put out of his political misery as well!

mattbolt October 20, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Click the “Michelle Bachmann” tag for a library’s worth of snarky old posts about this horrible shit-harpy. She’s just a wild, exaggerated caricature of a human being.

AngryBlakGuy October 20, 2008 at 2:18 pm

…I smell some “Anti-American” sentiment in this thread!

mattbolt October 20, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Who the fuck knows how Minnesotans vote, though? They elect muslims and WWF wrestlers and SNL writers. They can’t put a pencil to a ballot without their being a ridiculous circus.

problemwithcaring October 20, 2008 at 2:18 pm

[re=139977]Truculent[/re]: The truly hilarity part: the Hardball interview is the least-crazy the biatch has sounded in years.

The D October 20, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Perhaps, like McCain, Bachmann prefers to be the underdog.

And by “underdog,” I mean the peoples’ bitch.

coolcatdaddy October 20, 2008 at 2:19 pm

Wasn’t Bachmann portrayed by Angela Lansbury in the original version of “The Manchurian Candidate”?

NoWireHangers October 20, 2008 at 2:19 pm

That said, if you’re out of state and want to donate some money to California’s No on Prop 8 fund, that would be cool.

(gestures to hat on pavement; does tap dance)

Theo_Mobius October 20, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Diaz-Balart does his part to dispel the misconception that Red America is full of tweakers.

RobPetrified October 20, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Force her to watch an endless loop of “An American Carol”
And “Fahrenheit 411″ for a month or so.
That should turn any brain cells she may actually have into jello.

FMA October 20, 2008 at 2:21 pm

I’m concerned about this trend. If somehow all of the wingnut, batshit-crazy loons lose, who will we have to snark about here?

StupidGeek October 20, 2008 at 2:21 pm

I just looked at Elwyn’s website and he doesn’t look anything like Bilbo Baggins :(

problemwithcaring October 20, 2008 at 2:22 pm

[re=140039]problemwithcaring[/re]: Hilarious. Mispellings are.

Dave J. October 20, 2008 at 2:22 pm

Elwyn Tinklenberg

NO WAY IN HELL that guy does not have a replica of The One Ring.

NewSpence October 20, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Uh oh, time to put some of the babies up on the eBay.

Lionel Hutz Esq. October 20, 2008 at 2:24 pm

It is a well known fact that money is anti-American.

Hairy Reed October 20, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=140037]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: It’s me. I forgot my pro-American AXE spray this morning.

SayItWithWookies October 20, 2008 at 2:24 pm

In reality, Mr. Diaz-Balart just got down on the floor because he thought he saw a ten-year-old boy down there.

tinybubbles October 20, 2008 at 2:25 pm

[re=140033]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I’m with you. Diaz-Balart is at best, a jerk. At worst, he’s downright deranged. I can’t wait to help vote him out.

Sean O October 20, 2008 at 2:25 pm

I don’t have audio on this computer, why are the kos libtards against someone having a stroke on camera? typical liberals.

Datsun510 October 20, 2008 at 2:25 pm

[re=140049]FMA[/re]: See Biden’s most recent spew.

Datsun510 October 20, 2008 at 2:26 pm

[re=140053]problemwithcaring[/re]: Are you Yoda?

Lascauxcaveman October 20, 2008 at 2:28 pm

“Elwyn” what a great name.

I wonder if he got any traction with the schoolyard bullies by pointing out that the E in (beloved author and essayist) E.B. White’s name stood for “Elwyn.”

I’m guessing not.

The Rev. Yevot October 20, 2008 at 2:28 pm

Uh, hey, y’know who people should donate to? ME. I’m in a “very competitive race*” with a “dangerously unhinged right-wing-conservative-men’s-room-cruising Jesus freak**” for my “local political office***” and I need all the help I can get. Spread the word and send money fast.

*Or “argument with the wife,” if you want to be all liberal and accurate about it.
**Or–again, if you want to be all honest and shit–”extremely liberal European-born oceanography professor.”
***Read as: “weekend booze and coke budget.”

Kwame' October 20, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=140049]FMA[/re]: We’ll just have to turn this into the War Room when we have a civil war with AfKlanistan.

Itsjustme October 20, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=140006]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: At least hold her down and whiten her teeth.

bitchincamaro October 20, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=140032]m_supercomputer[/re]: I spread some of what little wealth I have, his way. From NY, no less. I must be a socialista.

AngryBlakGuy October 20, 2008 at 2:32 pm

[re=140065]tinybubbles[/re]: …and lets not forget about the ever annoying Ileana Ros-Lehtinen! Honestly I cant stand any of our lawmakers in South Florida!

shortsshortsshorts October 20, 2008 at 2:33 pm

[re=140078]Itsjustme[/re]: That smile. THAT SMILE. It is terrifying. And her EYES. They are so empty.

Sean O October 20, 2008 at 2:34 pm

[re=140006]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: worked for Iraq, I’ve heard they love us now.

thwanger October 20, 2008 at 2:35 pm

I can’t wait to vote for a Franken-Tinklenberg ticket in 2016!

Servo October 20, 2008 at 2:36 pm

How does your shoe taste, Michele?

Vewol Mevemont October 20, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Elwyn Tinklenberg.

Democrats should probably stop giving their kids ridiculous names. Then again, the names Trig, Track, Bristol, Willow, Brick, Aspirin, Dumpster, and Russia are apparently very popular with GOP veep candidates, so the problem may be bi-partisan.

WadISay October 20, 2008 at 2:37 pm

O/T, but so good I have to tell somebody. I went to a Chinese buffet for lunch today, and here is the entire text of my fortune cookie:

Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.

January 20, 2009, brace yourself, Carmen Electra.

Inadequate Blackmail October 20, 2008 at 2:37 pm

God, when did all the Republican women become hot moms? We are completely losing the “I Voted The Head Cheerleader For Class President” segment of the electorate. Can’t we get Claire McCaskill down to a gym or something?

freakishlystrong October 20, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Elwyn Tinklenberg? What’s his campaign managers name? Herry Dingleberry?

Churchill October 20, 2008 at 2:37 pm

It’s nice to knockout a ReThug like Bachmann every once in awhile! LMFAO

Churchill October 20, 2008 at 2:39 pm

I like to KO GOPpers. I like that smell of Napalm in the morning. That smell, that gasoline smell, It smells like VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!

Vewol Mevemont October 20, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=140090]Servo[/re]: It tastes patriotic, you bastard. You’ll probably never understand the taste of leather, high-heeled justice stomping upon the pinko liberal muslin half-breeds.

Terry October 20, 2008 at 2:39 pm


Maybe he’s an elf rather than a hobbit. Does he have pointy ears and long, stringy hair. The bow and arrows are a clue, too. Flowing robes or medieval hunting gear in forest colors are a good clue, too.

Churchill October 20, 2008 at 2:39 pm

I love the Smell of Napalm in the morning.

Vewol Mevemont October 20, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=140098]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: Hey “save the cheerleader, save the world” girl is firmly in our camp. We just need her to run for something.

Sean O October 20, 2008 at 2:44 pm

[re=140097]WadISay[/re]: epic.

shoeho October 20, 2008 at 2:53 pm

Oh, I am LMAO! Michelle Bachman, couldn’t happen to a better class of lunatic. Frankly, I couldn’t care less if the Dems were running Moose and Squirrel against her, the sheer joy of getting her butt kicked out of Congress would be fabu. The only one that would make me happier? Jim Martin beating Saxby Chamblis in GA after what that no account did to Max Cleland in ’02.

shoeho October 20, 2008 at 2:59 pm

The really scary thing is that dude in the video has a brother who reps the adjoining district. TWO of them in Congress. Both districts are very Cuban, which unlike other Hispanic areas in saner parts of the country means Republican to the core.

Servo October 20, 2008 at 2:59 pm

[re=140105]Vewol Mevemont[/re]:
As long as she’s wearin’ clean socks and legs are shaven…

huffybike October 20, 2008 at 3:01 pm

Whoopsie doodle!

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 20, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Epic fail.

fuckinredneck October 20, 2008 at 3:04 pm

Elwyn Tinklenberg: I didn’t know elves could be Jewish.

FMA October 20, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=140142]shoeho[/re]: You make it sound like Moose and Squirrel wouldn’t be an improvement over Bachman.

SpecialHorse October 20, 2008 at 3:09 pm

This is cliche, but…FASCISTS!

GlennBecksTaint October 20, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Michelle Bachmann is a satanist and a terrorist and a communist and a nazi and a womanizer and a child molester and hates our freedom.

SpecialHorse October 20, 2008 at 3:11 pm

[re=140151]shoeho[/re]: Cuban “exiles” can eat it!

Fivetree October 20, 2008 at 3:11 pm

By all means, donate to defeat Michelle Bachman! But whatever you do, DON’T look into her eyes. I haven’t seen soul-sucking peepers this scary since “Children of the Corn”. I am sure that when she goes home at night she slips out of her her human skin and kicks back as the reptilian shit-demon that she really is. Just don’t look at the eyes!

Captain Flaps October 20, 2008 at 3:14 pm

I just gave $$$ to this Tickletoes guy after reading this…..Heil Bachman!

Cape Clod October 20, 2008 at 3:16 pm

If Michelle Bachmann could get kicked out of Congress for saying something stupid, she would have been gone ages ago. I would prefer that she stay around, move up in the ranks of her party, and let her telegenic idiocy be a constant sourse of embarassment for the GOP for years to come. She is the goose that lays the golden eggs, except they are not golden and not eggs and I have a feeling that she would lose a debate with a goose.

Kingbee October 20, 2008 at 3:17 pm

[re=140038]mattbolt[/re]: Yes, Minnesota IS strange. Even our Republican politicians are usually not pedophiles. The last political sexual scandal I can remember was with Sen. Dave Durenberger, and he was caught having an affair with an ADULT WOMAN!!

S.Luggo October 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Speaking of anti-American: the Repug candidate in the video, Mario Diaz-Balart, was born in Havana. His uncle is Fidel Castro (truth), which makes Mario fourth in the line of succession. Mario has never renounced his claim to the throne. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, 25th congressional district of Florida.

lawrenceofthedesert October 20, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Ever since she beat Jesse Ventura at arm wrestling, Michelle has had this testosterone problem — maybe the menopausal roid program has gone too far? It’s that Spanish doctor that Floyd Landis recommended, you betcha.

llyn October 20, 2008 at 4:03 pm

[re=140142]shoeho[/re]: Speaking of Max Cleland, have you seen the following story?

Published on July 18, 2008, it’s about some Diebold chicanery in the Cleland/Chambliss race.

wonkthis October 20, 2008 at 4:04 pm

@ shortsshortsshorts: Me thinks she already sleeps on a waterboard every night. I don’t think it’ll have much of an effect.

WagTehGod October 20, 2008 at 4:05 pm

I believe it is time for Wonkette to investigate its commenters to see how many of them hold anti-American views.

hockeymom October 20, 2008 at 4:10 pm

Suggested campaign slogans from my 11 year old;

Vote for The Tink:
He doesn’t Stink!

Vote for The Tink:
He’s not a Dink!

loquaciousmusic October 20, 2008 at 4:22 pm

Hehe, wouldn’t it be funny if Elwyn Tinklenberg got gay married to frequent New York Times contributor Verlyn Klinkenborg? And if Verlyn then hyphenated his last name?

Yeah, you got that right: he’d be Verlyn Klinkenborg-Tinklenberg. Or Elwyn Tinklenberg-Klinkenborg. Now that’s someone I could easily vote for.

Professor McAwesome October 20, 2008 at 4:25 pm

S.luggo – The story I got (totally unconfirmed) was that not only is Fidel his uncle, Fidel took a shit on their aunt when she had a slow witted child and that was one of the big reasons they left/were forced to leave Cuba, and hence the over-the-top animosity the Diaz-Balart family has towards Castro.

Hot_Carl October 20, 2008 at 4:29 pm

“Elwyn Tinklenberg”!?… “ELWYN TINKLENBERG”!?

Fivetree October 20, 2008 at 5:33 pm

It would be sweet justice for the Shit Demon to be defeated by someone named Elwyn Tinklenberg. As a matter of fact, the Tinkled One is getting a huge cash infusion from the national Democratic party to go with the pile of money he pulled in from the Daily Kos. AND, the Shit Demon’s Republican primary opponent is throwing himself back into the race a write-in candidate which just about guarantees that this district will go all Tinkly come November 4th.

I feeling all tinkly just now thinking about it.

Palin-Plumber2012 October 20, 2008 at 6:09 pm

And so we hit a new low in politics – this guy should be in a clown suit at kids’ birthday parties and he’s a (3-term!!!!!!!!) Republican Congressman.

It’s a wonderful combination of talking heads and gerrymandering that allows a guy to be elected by completing a sentence with “drill” and “tax cuts” in it.

Leak Plugger October 20, 2008 at 6:13 pm

Hilarious. I know Elwyn and while his name isn’t exactly made for politics, he’s a great guy and should beat Bachmann with ease in Minnesota’s 5th district. However, when I first met him and was introduced to “Elwyn Tinklenberg”, I fucking crapped myself laughing.

DailyComicsReview October 20, 2008 at 6:29 pm

She’s got a pretty mouth, but that’s about all she is good for.

nutcracker October 20, 2008 at 9:36 pm

The reason Michelle’s choker is so tight is because she’s into autoerotic asphyxiation. Let’s hope next time around the bed she ends up like Michael Hutchence.

Lascauxcaveman October 21, 2008 at 1:33 am

[re=140631]Leak Plugger[/re]: “Barack Obama” is a pretty goofy name when you come right down to it.

Obama/Tinlenbug ’12 – because Gaffey Joe has to retire sometime.

Robbertjan October 21, 2008 at 4:34 am

Mrs Black and White
She’s never seen a shade of grey
Always something on her mind
Every single day
But now she’s lost her way
And where does she go from here

Mr Multicultural
Sees all that one can see
He’s living proof of someone
Very different to me
But now he wants to be free
Free so he can see

And they’ll meet one day
Far way
And say Hey I wish I was something more
And they’ll meet one day
Far away
And say Hey I wish I knew you, I wish I knew you before

Min October 21, 2008 at 11:19 am

Elwyn Tinklenberg. Oh, come on. You’re just making that up.

Man, that pic of Bachmann looks like she’s about ready to eat a baby or something.

tocute2btrue October 21, 2008 at 9:45 pm

It’s getting close,when I win that ugly ass Michelle is history,I’m getting a young HOT white cuttie.

messickc October 23, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Didn’t an incident similar to this loose the 2004 primary for Howard YAHOO!!! Dean?

God, these repugs are ka-ray-zee!

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