About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


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  • Gopherit v2.0

    What can one say about the Mona Lisa? It speaks for itself.

    My cats make prettier noises coughing up hairballs.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …anyway we could get Caribou Barbie to wear a Catwoman suit?!

  • Hairy Reed

    Why, wonkette, why did you have to point out HENNNNGGGGHHH to me? WHY

  • TGY

    Well, he’s about the right height for it.

  • Roll Fish


    oh hey Bill Ayers and Barack Obama are exploding more buildings http://www.cbs46.com/news/17738904/detail.html

  • That Evening Sun

    Too much Metamucil close to bed time makes him phlegmy.

  • magic titty

    Is he shitting?

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    What about Johnny Mac? Last time I checked, she LOST!

  • Toomush Infermashun

    There is such an evil fratboy in that HENGGGHH – fourth from the bottom of 896 at the Naval Academy, not even looking at his navel, can this go on another 3 weeks?

  • morepunkthanyou

    How about Sarah Palin last night? She can read and memorize things as well as your average 3rd grader! This qualifies her to have nuclear secrets and to protect our country from TEH EVIL.

  • Aurelio

    Hanh? Hanh? Hanh? Is this one of Walnuts’ animal imitations? Are we supposed to guess which animal it is? I vote for goose.

  • magic titty

    Not that I’d ever feel sorry for the woman, but Cindy McCain must be abusing the shit out of her dildo(s). There’s no way she let’s Grampy near her. At all. Ever.

  • Toomush Infermashun


  • bitchincamaro

    O/T, but well worth a look, what with all the bile about corruption in Worshington.


  • RobPetrified

    Well, golly, he’s no Dick Cheney, but I betcha thats a pretty good Penguin! :)

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=138635]magic titty[/re]: I imagine stuff falling off of his skull while he wiggles on top of her.

    o god. I am ill, now.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=138594]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: First, do they make Catwoman Suits in a size 24? Those hips reach all the way to Russia.

  • Mahousu

    [re=138635]magic titty[/re]: I suspect she doesn’t need to rely on mechanical contrivances. If you’ll check out one of her houses, you’ll see it’s advertised as having “2 Master Bedrooms w/Separate Bedroom Exit.”

    I assume that’s so Manuel can go in and out without ever disturbing John.

  • longjohnson

    That “heanh” sound you heard walnuts making repeatedly is caused by his ball sack smashing like a set of clackers between his artificial knees.

    For more information on clackers please go to –


  • Merf

    The only thing missing is for the frame to be crooked — like when the criminals appeared on the old Batman TV show.

    Here’s a funny McCain song/video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VigH6CBH6S4

  • Weeping Jesus

    This should be posted on poopreport.com. Very motivating. Made me want to discharge some roughage.

    (This video take blingeeing to a whole ‘nother level, by the way.)

  • Harold_Ignoramis

    He’ll play this stinkin’ country like a harp from hell!

  • Neon Trotsky

    I would attend a McCain-Palin rally if it would be 90 minutes of McCain making that noise while wearing those accessories…

  • Sussemilch