Wonkette
Here’s your new Obama Campaign spot, and it’s got so much bug-eyed weirdness and nervous blinking from McCain! Also, serious policy stuff, what with how Walnuts is always loving Bush Junior. [Gawker]
ZING
New Obama Ad All About the Crazy Blinking
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How can you get more mavericky than defying every reasonable definition of maverick? See, he’s done it again — John McCain is the original yes-maverick. Obama should just quit the race now, as he has nothing against the powerful yes-maverickness of Bush/Not Bush McCain.
It’s morse code!!! He’s sending signals to his superiors at Ft. Bragg to let them know that all this stuff he’s saying about receiving “good treatment” from Obama is bullshit. Really he’s being horribly treated and viciously tortured.
Ha. This will be the biggest blinking-related campaign disaster since Blinky the three-eyed fish derailed Mr. Burns’ campaign for governor.
Yes, this is a strained analogy.
OMG, an actual, effective attack ad! Barack Obama is an angry black man who will steal your purse and insult your puny white penis.
Well, that one’s my favorite. Well done, Hopey. This beer’s for you. (No, really, it’s for me. Just like the next one!)
Zero?!
Barry needs to hire Sarcastic Voiceover Guy as Press Secretary.
Serolf Divad: Damn, I never thought of that. Good one.
that voice is awesome.
NewSpence: …and don’t forget sleep with your white wife and completely stretch out her va-jay-jay!!!
More maverickly goodness:
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=698029&hp
…if he ever stops blinking for longer than 30 seconds then you should call the paramedics and begin CPR.
Instant classic. Finally, someone shows some talent at making attack ads this cycle.
I wonder if McCain is having vision problems, which may explain some of the wild blinking and eye-rolling under the bright lights. I mean, yesterday he was taking notes with a big Sharpie marker, and seemed to be writing in 1-inch-high capital letters. Either that, or he was playing tic-tac-toe with himself, and was getting frustrated because it kept ending in a tie.
What, no hug photo?
Dear Wonkette: Thank you for not putting “McCain blinks” into your drinking game. I’d have been dead of alcohol poison 30 seconds into the debate.
AngryBlakGuy: And under Barack’s health plan, there will be no “vaginal rejuvenation” surgeries for that warn out trailer park pussy…
Every time Grampy blinks, a mavrick-y undecided embraces the Hopey ticket. Or God sends Cheney a new kitten to feast on. One of those.
slomojoe: Clearly McCain is in the pocket of Big Marker
To fend off certain future unemployment, McBlinky should shill for the Visine people. Do a before ‘n’ after kind of thing:
*Hi my friend, I’m John McCain. During the debates last year, a hekkuva thing happened.
My old man peepers kept dryin’ up on me, while oddly, I was sweating like a nigger
on election day.
Then I squeezed some good ol’ Visine into my windscreen, and guess what? I still lost the
election. So fuck you.*
Barack should come out with a series of his ads fashioned after those iPod commercials where he could just dances around in silhouette for 30 seconds because why not, this election is in the bag.
Memo to McCain: The non-special needs Americans have decided that electing a guy who refused to give Robert E. Lee any information and crashed his ironclad into oyster shoals on three occasions would not be the prudent use of their votes this year. This will, undoubtedly, be the last time we see a candidate over 50 running for the presidency.
Did anyone else notice he said that Sarah Palin knows a lot about raising children with Autism? Her son has Down Syndrome. Apparently he’s not too clear on the needs of special needs children…even those of his own running mate.
JeffGoldblum: That comment was riddled with grammar problems… I hazs publick skoolz?
JeffGoldblum: You were left behind then, and with a name like Goldblum, you’ll be “left behind” again.
AfterThought: He meant “Alzheimer’s” and he was referring to himself. The old relic has publicly disintegrated. It’s sad, of course, but in four years no one will recall who Palin is and almost no one will remember why McCain was ever relevant.
AfterThought: I guarantee that McCain’s speech touched the hearts of anti-vaccination parents raising “Indigo children” nationwide.
…also McCain is teh ghey with Bush.
Relax, ken. That’s just how old folks wink.
Those blinks are the manifestation of the shock he’s feeling. McCain has skated through life, first on the coattails of his grandfather and father, then on the fortune of his second wife. Now he wants to be president. How dare the voters stand in his way.
This is what Piper thinks about us and what we say about Pappy McCain!!!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2IH5WgtnBHw/SPTZgkkxmEI/AAAAAAAAA0A/wItHts4_ELE/s1600-h/palin-piper-finger.jpg
Stay classy, Piper.
ihasasad: Love that. Poor kid got enough grief in the past month, plus the disgrace of having been born in that crazy-ass family, she has the right to vent. Just don’t let her close to mommy’s firearm collection.
I’m sorry, Senator, but I’m not voting for you no matter how hard you bat your eyelashes.
blink.
blink. blink.
Huh?
If John Kerry would have had the guts of this guy he’d be President today (probably trailing by 30 points in the polls, but President nonetheless).
Since Caribou Barbie refuses to blink, someone has to do the blinking for both of them.
ihasasad: Spicy!
Surprisingly, I like her better than mom. And I don’t mean that in a nasty way. That poor kid has got to be a pretty tough cookie. After being trotted out onto the stage by her insane mother to be used as a prop, she has a right to be pissed. Maybe she will find the “moose grenades” mom keeps in the shed and take the whole family out of the picture.