lizard kings

Here Is Your McCain Phunny Photo Of The Hour

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Gaah hennh heh heh heh.It’s the photograph we have all been waiting for, the one you have already seen on the million frigging blogs you check every morning. John McCain makes very silly faces, indeed! Here he is vomiting, or making a lizard face, or trying to grab Barack Obama’s ass, or who knows. Re-enacting this commercial maybe?

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • tennessee Jed clampett

    the old fart has clearly gone off teh deep end…

  • freakishlystrong

    Barry is the Preciousssss, McWTF? is truly, the Gollum; “Swweeeeet, sweeeeet assssssss”….

  • upsidedownpaddle

    I heard if you lick them it gets you high.

  • Larry Fine

    McCain is a good candidate for anti-psychotic medication. Give him some high-dose Haldol, and keep him in a shuttered room with no sharp implements.

  • wtf_files

    I swear to Christ he’s one of those lizard people from “V.” I’ll pay good money for a video if him swallowing a guinea pig!

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Look at that tongue. No wonder Cindy puts up with his cranky ass.

  • BeamMeUpMrSpeaker

    Uh, yeah…making lizard faces. Thats the first thing that came to my mind…….

  • natoslug

    McCain’s policy includes free surprise proctological exams? Sounds like socialized medicine to me.

  • tennessee Jed clampett

    drill baby drill

  • Serolf Divad
  • Sussemilch

    Never lick a frozen pole in winter, kids.

  • Hairy Reed

    Between this and the lizard like tongue-face that Stephen Colbert (I think?) pointed out to me, I will never look at John McCain and not think he spent a little too much time in Arizona. FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, perhaps?

  • WadISay

    McCain has funny fingers; they’re sort of wide at the base and pointy at the tips. You’ll have to ask Vicky Eisman what that means.

  • Cape Clod

    Who is handling his media prep? The Creature from the Black Lagoon?

  • Neon Trotsky

    Come on, don’t be mean–McCain lost use of his sweat glands long ago, he needs to do this so he doesn’t overheat…

  • KristaJulieva

    I don’t think there’s any other way to interpret this. John McCain wants desperately to toss Barack Obama’s salad.

  • magic titty

    Ickey Shuffle.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=137088]Neon Trotsky[/re]: Gawd, that cracked me up.

  • Jebediah
  • Gurth LongEye

    You know the drill, ladies. Right-click, save-as.
    http://tinyurl.com/mccaintongueII

  • Botswana Meat Commission FC

    Walnuts has been jamming out to “My Neck, My Back” a little too much. (Lyrics, uh, NSFW)

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    FINALLY, “assplay” returns to the Wonkette lexicon.

  • OhWhyOhio

    “BRAAAAAIIIIINSSSS!”
    “I’m John McCain, and I endorsed this message.”

  • ManchuCandidate

    It’s just Walnuts’ Dane Cook impression.

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    he’s taking over for Gene Simmons on the next season of Family Jewels….

  • JoeFannyPack

    That look is a result of the fact that the incompetents fools at Hofstra switched his mug of vodka with a mug of water.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “Guess I won’t be handing his ass to him this evening.”

  • agitpropster

    Éste es cómo yo como el taco de los pescados de Cindy.

  • Nathalie08

    I will whip his you-know-what !

  • Worlds End

    what did prison do to this man?????????

  • monty

    Ok enuff is enuff on this page i got walnutz try to grab hopey’s ass and GWB on the shitter in the same view how am i supposed to get ANY work done?? i think im going home and back to bed

  • Liverspots

    Well, now we know why Cindy stays with him.

  • facehead

    Aww… I’m afraid Wonkette may be missing out on the funniest story …

    This shit is just bizarre, Kos seems to have the most on it right now:

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/16/02217/845

    OT, etc. but this is just off the hook — possibly the lamest/funniest conspiracy ever seems to be unfolding right now.

  • Gurth LongEye

    Meanwhile back at the ranch, Joe the fucking plumber is holding a press conference in front of his shack! (note the plywood siding)
    This is my Tamron Hall cleavage-viewing time, dammit.

  • slappypaddy

    [re=137104]agitpropster[/re]: Or how he throws up immediately afterwards.

  • impmama

    It looks like a still from Nosferatu

  • Blue Line

    My favorite caption so far, courtesy of the Indecision 2008 blog:

    “Apparently, this is in fact a photograph of the senator making out with his newest imaginary friend, Joe the Plumber.”

  • friendlynerd

    [re=137097]OhWhyOhio[/re]:
    I was thinking the same thing! Problem is, Obama’s brain isn’t down there, unlike the republicans McCain is used to feeding on.

  • TGY

    Tongue spams, i gets dem

  • superfecta

    Why hasn’t David Icke picked up on this one yet?

  • Crapola

    Holy shit! It’s little blue guy from Busta Rhymes “Gimme Some Mo” video!

  • Gopherit v2.0

    McCain is all about dignity.

    Can we vote today? I’m really tired of all of this crap.

    Oh, and the Dow is doing another impression of Karl Wallenda today.

  • 2druk2phluq

    No, Senator. That’s only for private. For private. Sit! Sit! Now go lay down. Goood boy.

  • holocron

    Is this frickin’ real?

  • Beef Supreme

    That’s about a billion times worse than the Dean Scream. I hope to see this on billboards soon.

  • Scooter

    Haven’t you city slickers every seen a frog catch a fly before? Grampy was just a little hungry, that’s all.

  • d4g33z

    [re=137111]facehead[/re]: Aw, fuck that noise. I thought you had something on the tongue! The tongue, man! The tongue!

  • agitpropster

    [re=137114]impmama[/re]: yeah, walkin’ like an Egyptian

  • Big Ass Belle

    Like my cat.

    With a hairball.

  • wildeoats

    “As Senator McCain stood up, the combined effects of Metamucil, his pre-game meal of All-Bran and Ensure, and a handful of prunes proved to be too much for his Depends.”

  • Name Pun Phenh

    Looks like Johnny was zapped by one of Obama’s vaunted red star farts.

  • JP

    Give the geezer a break.

    If you are still alive when your face is this old,
    you will also need such calisthenics to loosen up
    the face concrete.

  • AzDownboy

    TMZ stated it best:

    WHAAAAAASSSSSSUUUUPPPPP

    /now that takes me back

  • Fitgerald

    Oh yeah McCains so not “not Bush”….looks like a pretty good doofus imitation to me…

  • Giant Robot

    [re=137111]facehead[/re]: Is Daily Kos implying that Walnuts didn’t vet Joe the Plumber as thoroughly as he vetted Sarah Palin and Will Timmons?

  • Godot

    When 900 years old YOU reach, look as good you will not!

  • keepinitrealyo

    McCain is too much of a maverick to care about those “still” “photographs”.

    [re=137195]Godot[/re]: Where you been? I was WAITING for you, man!

  • doberhauser

    Thanks for the video, Sara. My surrounding coworkers are now convinced that I have completely lost it due to incessant giggling. :)

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Still cracking up about his comment on Palin:
    “Breasts of Freth air.”

  • bmannes

    He does the mash. He does the monster mash. The monster mash. It was a graveyard smash.

  • thejames

    [re=137078]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Brainbleach please.

  • trai_dep

    Halloween doesn’t come until the thirty-first, grumpy scary-looking McCoots. The 31st!

  • Harold_Ignoramis

    McWalnuts was thinking of the Chris Rock “Toss my salad” bit.

  • TeddyS

    It LIVES, Igor! IT LIVES! Let’s work on the tongue a little bit more, though.

  • Half-Price Muslin

    “Come on, Choco-buns, time for Two Boys One Cup!”

  • Mara47

    [re=137078]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I so wish you hadn’t said this. It’s going to ruin my sex life for months.

  • Mr Blifil

    How can I assimilate your powers if you don’t let me EAT YOU???!!!!

  • trondant

    [re=137204]doberhauser[/re]: Lizards drinking Brawndo? I guess it has what plants need.

  • coolcatdaddy

    “Senators Barrack Obama and John McCain, candidates for President, rise from their chairs to greet the moderator of last night’s debate. Obama, by strolling with ease to the host, feeds the rumors of Republican conspiracy theorists that, in fact, he is actually an educated Black man. Meanwhile, McCain, with his unusual stance, feeds rumors of Democratic conspiracy theorists that, in fact, he is actually a Reptilian alien.”

  • CivicHoliday

    I remember laughing at this during the actual debate. McCain got lost behind the table and couldn’t figure out how to come out and greet Bob. Such a grandpa moment.

  • iolanthe

    Not as great as this pic, but … best debate coverage ever:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l63SRpGXBHE

    Who knew?

    McCain should affect the purple top hat. It sends the right plutocratic message, and it hides his hairline.

  • Big Al1317

    This can’t be a real photo. Right? Please, for the love of god, someone say its a fake.

  • SpecialK

    Is he performing the Monster Mash?

  • michaelsbill111

    Last night was the republican/McCain version of a John Dean moment. Classic. He scared the hell out of me and Joe the Plumber is nothing but a classic, in the style of Lee Attwater, Karl Rove plant. When do we get to hear from Joe Six-Pack?

    The political short film/ad McCain does not want you to see, which ask what is the answer???
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KzbJtG9V2E

  • pixiestyx

    “Hey McCain, Joe the Plumber pissed in your water!”