LIZARD KINGS  10:38 am October 16, 2008

Here Is Your McCain Phunny Photo Of The Hour

by Sara K. Smith

Gaah hennh heh heh heh.It’s the photograph we have all been waiting for, the one you have already seen on the million frigging blogs you check every morning. John McCain makes very silly faces, indeed! Here he is vomiting, or making a lizard face, or trying to grab Barack Obama’s ass, or who knows. Re-enacting this commercial maybe?

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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tennessee Jed clampett October 16, 2008 at 10:40 am

the old fart has clearly gone off teh deep end…

freakishlystrong October 16, 2008 at 10:42 am

Barry is the Preciousssss, McWTF? is truly, the Gollum; “Swweeeeet, sweeeeet assssssss”….

upsidedownpaddle October 16, 2008 at 10:44 am

I heard if you lick them it gets you high.

Larry Fine October 16, 2008 at 10:44 am

McCain is a good candidate for anti-psychotic medication. Give him some high-dose Haldol, and keep him in a shuttered room with no sharp implements.

wtf_files October 16, 2008 at 10:44 am

I swear to Christ he’s one of those lizard people from “V.” I’ll pay good money for a video if him swallowing a guinea pig!

Texan Bulldoggette October 16, 2008 at 10:45 am

Look at that tongue. No wonder Cindy puts up with his cranky ass.

BeamMeUpMrSpeaker October 16, 2008 at 10:45 am

Uh, yeah…making lizard faces. Thats the first thing that came to my mind…….

natoslug October 16, 2008 at 10:45 am

McCain’s policy includes free surprise proctological exams? Sounds like socialized medicine to me.

tennessee Jed clampett October 16, 2008 at 10:45 am

drill baby drill

Serolf Divad October 16, 2008 at 10:46 am

Again: Beware the Vampyr!!!

Sussemilch October 16, 2008 at 10:46 am

Never lick a frozen pole in winter, kids.

Hairy Reed October 16, 2008 at 10:46 am

Between this and the lizard like tongue-face that Stephen Colbert (I think?) pointed out to me, I will never look at John McCain and not think he spent a little too much time in Arizona. FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, perhaps?

WadISay October 16, 2008 at 10:47 am

McCain has funny fingers; they’re sort of wide at the base and pointy at the tips. You’ll have to ask Vicky Eisman what that means.

Cape Clod October 16, 2008 at 10:47 am

Who is handling his media prep? The Creature from the Black Lagoon?

Neon Trotsky October 16, 2008 at 10:47 am

Come on, don’t be mean–McCain lost use of his sweat glands long ago, he needs to do this so he doesn’t overheat…

KristaJulieva October 16, 2008 at 10:47 am

I don’t think there’s any other way to interpret this. John McCain wants desperately to toss Barack Obama’s salad.

magic titty October 16, 2008 at 10:48 am

Ickey Shuffle.

Texan Bulldoggette October 16, 2008 at 10:50 am

[re=137088]Neon Trotsky[/re]: Gawd, that cracked me up.

Jebediah October 16, 2008 at 10:50 am
Gurth LongEye October 16, 2008 at 10:50 am

You know the drill, ladies. Right-click, save-as.

Botswana Meat Commission FC October 16, 2008 at 10:50 am

Walnuts has been jamming out to “My Neck, My Back” a little too much. (Lyrics, uh, NSFW)

Tommy Says Soooo October 16, 2008 at 10:51 am

FINALLY, “assplay” returns to the Wonkette lexicon.

OhWhyOhio October 16, 2008 at 10:51 am

“I’m John McCain, and I endorsed this message.”

ManchuCandidate October 16, 2008 at 10:52 am

It’s just Walnuts’ Dane Cook impression.

JohnnyMeatworth October 16, 2008 at 10:52 am

he’s taking over for Gene Simmons on the next season of Family Jewels….

JoeFannyPack October 16, 2008 at 10:54 am

That look is a result of the fact that the incompetents fools at Hofstra switched his mug of vodka with a mug of water.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2008 at 10:54 am

“Guess I won’t be handing his ass to him this evening.”

agitpropster October 16, 2008 at 10:59 am

Éste es cómo yo como el taco de los pescados de Cindy.

Nathalie08 October 16, 2008 at 11:00 am

I will whip his you-know-what !

Worlds End October 16, 2008 at 11:00 am

what did prison do to this man?????????

monty October 16, 2008 at 11:01 am

Ok enuff is enuff on this page i got walnutz try to grab hopey’s ass and GWB on the shitter in the same view how am i supposed to get ANY work done?? i think im going home and back to bed

Liverspots October 16, 2008 at 11:07 am

Well, now we know why Cindy stays with him.

facehead October 16, 2008 at 11:11 am

Aww… I’m afraid Wonkette may be missing out on the funniest story …

This shit is just bizarre, Kos seems to have the most on it right now:

OT, etc. but this is just off the hook — possibly the lamest/funniest conspiracy ever seems to be unfolding right now.

Gurth LongEye October 16, 2008 at 11:12 am

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Joe the fucking plumber is holding a press conference in front of his shack! (note the plywood siding)
This is my Tamron Hall cleavage-viewing time, dammit.

slappypaddy October 16, 2008 at 11:12 am

[re=137104]agitpropster[/re]: Or how he throws up immediately afterwards.

impmama October 16, 2008 at 11:14 am

It looks like a still from Nosferatu

Blue Line October 16, 2008 at 11:16 am

My favorite caption so far, courtesy of the Indecision 2008 blog:

“Apparently, this is in fact a photograph of the senator making out with his newest imaginary friend, Joe the Plumber.”

friendlynerd October 16, 2008 at 11:17 am

I was thinking the same thing! Problem is, Obama’s brain isn’t down there, unlike the republicans McCain is used to feeding on.

TGY October 16, 2008 at 11:18 am

Tongue spams, i gets dem

superfecta October 16, 2008 at 11:23 am

Why hasn’t David Icke picked up on this one yet?

Crapola October 16, 2008 at 11:23 am

Holy shit! It’s little blue guy from Busta Rhymes “Gimme Some Mo” video!

Gopherit v2.0 October 16, 2008 at 11:24 am

McCain is all about dignity.

Can we vote today? I’m really tired of all of this crap.

Oh, and the Dow is doing another impression of Karl Wallenda today.

2druk2phluq October 16, 2008 at 11:28 am

No, Senator. That’s only for private. For private. Sit! Sit! Now go lay down. Goood boy.

holocron October 16, 2008 at 11:33 am

Is this frickin’ real?

Beef Supreme October 16, 2008 at 11:33 am

That’s about a billion times worse than the Dean Scream. I hope to see this on billboards soon.

Scooter October 16, 2008 at 11:34 am

Haven’t you city slickers every seen a frog catch a fly before? Grampy was just a little hungry, that’s all.

d4g33z October 16, 2008 at 11:34 am

[re=137111]facehead[/re]: Aw, fuck that noise. I thought you had something on the tongue! The tongue, man! The tongue!

agitpropster October 16, 2008 at 11:39 am

[re=137114]impmama[/re]: yeah, walkin’ like an Egyptian

Big Ass Belle October 16, 2008 at 11:53 am

Like my cat.

With a hairball.

wildeoats October 16, 2008 at 11:55 am

“As Senator McCain stood up, the combined effects of Metamucil, his pre-game meal of All-Bran and Ensure, and a handful of prunes proved to be too much for his Depends.”

Name Pun Phenh October 16, 2008 at 11:56 am

Looks like Johnny was zapped by one of Obama’s vaunted red star farts.

JP October 16, 2008 at 11:58 am

Give the geezer a break.

If you are still alive when your face is this old,
you will also need such calisthenics to loosen up
the face concrete.

AzDownboy October 16, 2008 at 11:58 am

TMZ stated it best:


/now that takes me back

Fitgerald October 16, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Oh yeah McCains so not “not Bush”….looks like a pretty good doofus imitation to me…

Giant Robot October 16, 2008 at 12:02 pm

[re=137111]facehead[/re]: Is Daily Kos implying that Walnuts didn’t vet Joe the Plumber as thoroughly as he vetted Sarah Palin and Will Timmons?

Godot October 16, 2008 at 12:28 pm

When 900 years old YOU reach, look as good you will not!

keepinitrealyo October 16, 2008 at 12:33 pm

McCain is too much of a maverick to care about those “still” “photographs”.

[re=137195]Godot[/re]: Where you been? I was WAITING for you, man!

doberhauser October 16, 2008 at 12:36 pm

Thanks for the video, Sara. My surrounding coworkers are now convinced that I have completely lost it due to incessant giggling. :)

shortsshortsshorts October 16, 2008 at 12:37 pm

Still cracking up about his comment on Palin:
“Breasts of Freth air.”

bmannes October 16, 2008 at 12:56 pm

He does the mash. He does the monster mash. The monster mash. It was a graveyard smash.

thejames October 16, 2008 at 1:00 pm

[re=137078]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Brainbleach please.

trai_dep October 16, 2008 at 1:04 pm

Halloween doesn’t come until the thirty-first, grumpy scary-looking McCoots. The 31st!

Harold_Ignoramis October 16, 2008 at 1:04 pm

McWalnuts was thinking of the Chris Rock “Toss my salad” bit.

TeddyS October 16, 2008 at 1:07 pm

It LIVES, Igor! IT LIVES! Let’s work on the tongue a little bit more, though.

Half-Price Muslin October 16, 2008 at 1:11 pm

“Come on, Choco-buns, time for Two Boys One Cup!”

Mara47 October 16, 2008 at 1:20 pm

[re=137078]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I so wish you hadn’t said this. It’s going to ruin my sex life for months.

Mr Blifil October 16, 2008 at 1:29 pm

How can I assimilate your powers if you don’t let me EAT YOU???!!!!

trondant October 16, 2008 at 1:29 pm

[re=137204]doberhauser[/re]: Lizards drinking Brawndo? I guess it has what plants need.

coolcatdaddy October 16, 2008 at 1:51 pm

“Senators Barrack Obama and John McCain, candidates for President, rise from their chairs to greet the moderator of last night’s debate. Obama, by strolling with ease to the host, feeds the rumors of Republican conspiracy theorists that, in fact, he is actually an educated Black man. Meanwhile, McCain, with his unusual stance, feeds rumors of Democratic conspiracy theorists that, in fact, he is actually a Reptilian alien.”

CivicHoliday October 16, 2008 at 1:59 pm

I remember laughing at this during the actual debate. McCain got lost behind the table and couldn’t figure out how to come out and greet Bob. Such a grandpa moment.

iolanthe October 16, 2008 at 2:01 pm

Not as great as this pic, but … best debate coverage ever:

Who knew?

McCain should affect the purple top hat. It sends the right plutocratic message, and it hides his hairline.

Big Al1317 October 16, 2008 at 2:02 pm

This can’t be a real photo. Right? Please, for the love of god, someone say its a fake.

SpecialK October 16, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Is he performing the Monster Mash?

michaelsbill111 October 16, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Last night was the republican/McCain version of a John Dean moment. Classic. He scared the hell out of me and Joe the Plumber is nothing but a classic, in the style of Lee Attwater, Karl Rove plant. When do we get to hear from Joe Six-Pack?

The political short film/ad McCain does not want you to see, which ask what is the answer???

pixiestyx October 18, 2008 at 5:32 pm

“Hey McCain, Joe the Plumber pissed in your water!”

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