DEATH MUPPET  1:16 am October 16, 2008

The Last Debate, In 90 Seconds!

by Ken Layne


Thanks to Jed Report/DailyKos for suffering through this long enough to make the awful clip you see today.

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 98 comments }

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 1:24 am

I think it was really rude of Barry to answer Schieffer’s questions while McCain was trying to make mouth noises and pantomime incredulity and exasperation. That’s not the kind of change Joseph Plummer is looking for.

smashtheduck October 16, 2008 at 1:25 am
themightysea October 16, 2008 at 1:27 am

… we’re supposed to be looking at Walnuts’ winsome series of fiery fart grimaces, I gather?

smashtheduck October 16, 2008 at 1:27 am

Seriously Joe, get a fucking agent, you’re 15 is ticking fast.

WhatTheHeck October 16, 2008 at 1:27 am

Even this clip makes Barry out to be silver-tongued when compared to gramps McGrumpy.

Jewdishoowary Square October 16, 2008 at 1:30 am

Ugh. Pass the Dramamine.

civan93 October 16, 2008 at 1:33 am

Wait, I get it. The point was that McCain makes funny faces when Obama is talking! Hoot, I must be fast, cuz I got that in way less than 90 seconds.

shortsshortsshorts October 16, 2008 at 1:34 am

You people need to get out of the tank and go to the beautiful Adler (EARMARK SPENDING PROJECTOR) Planetarium.

polar_bear October 16, 2008 at 1:36 am

solve bad people- that’s what I always said.

Anonymous Office Zombie October 16, 2008 at 1:38 am

Gotta love that rictus grin.

Anybody else reminded of that Bill O’Reilly meltdown video when McCain kept snorting like he was about to jump up and deck Obama?

shortsshortsshorts October 16, 2008 at 1:39 am

asshole bullshit: This was horrible. Almighty Pope Cat, please explain this to your followers.
Daily Kos?: doing their blessed. Please give Wonkette more money.

twoeightnine October 16, 2008 at 1:41 am

I didn’t think it was possible for there to be a presidential candidate that would come across in public as more un-presidential than GWB. Leave it to the Republicans to keep on proving me wrong.

jimh October 16, 2008 at 1:43 am

Watching WALNUTS! during the debate was painful. The blinking, the twitching, the anxious looks and bug-eyed note-taking… I am ready to give him special needs funding. But no way is he gonna be President, he’s a crazy cocktail with an airhead back.

azw88 October 16, 2008 at 1:44 am

that whole “Joe Plumber” shit failed McCain…. America hates plumbers, $90.00+ an hour, FUCK Joe and his pipewrench!

facehead October 16, 2008 at 1:46 am

Has Wonkette not seen this? Pay close attention to what Palin says, and geography (from HuffPo):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1hN6DFQyDs

My wife keeps watching it, saying “it is pure beauty” over and over.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 1:47 am

WALNUTS! obviously won in that he didn’t stroke out, vomit, or shit himself at any point during the debate.

Weeping Jesus October 16, 2008 at 1:50 am

If you turn up the volume real loud you will distinctly hear McCain mutter: “Aw fuck it. Go measure the fucking drapes.”

azw88 October 16, 2008 at 1:50 am

I posted it elsewhere, but mcCain’s eyes look vry very black to me, reminding me of Brother Justin from HBO’s Carnivale.

InsidiousTuna October 16, 2008 at 1:51 am

[re=136829]obfuscator[/re]: That we know of.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2008 at 1:51 am

Okay, haven’t read the liveblog thread yet, but didn’t McCain say something like “employment is the key to the heart of America which is getting angry” or something like that? He just came across like America’s Last White Cabbie.

shortsshortsshorts October 16, 2008 at 1:51 am

No money? SHIT ARE WE ALL SLAVES AGAIN? Okay Brian Williams, you may live. Just don’t take
John Gray

General Manager
Ann Hughes

Sales Department
Steve Teeling

FOX23 Programming
Rich Becker

Commercial Production
Kristin Lowman

Webmaster
Cait McVey

FOX23 In Focus
Walt McClure

Your source fer stuffz.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 1:54 am

I’m watching Steve Schmidt on C-Span. Fuck him.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 1:54 am

[re=136833]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ed Burns?

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 1:55 am

Seriously, fuck Steve Schmidt.

WhatTheHeck October 16, 2008 at 1:55 am

[re=136827]azw88[/re]:
I’ve been away for a while and during that absence Joe six-pac failed the McCain campaign. Now Joe the plumber will piss off more voters and clog Walnuts’ drains.
In the remaining days, McCain will have only one more Joe to call on – Joe McCarthy.

tunamelt October 16, 2008 at 1:56 am

[re=136834]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: SERIOUSLY. You need to take a chill pill or several, and calm down. Step away from the ledge, Shorts.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 1:58 am

Whoa daddy, Schmidt just made McCain’s case to his friends the “Latinos”.

Gopherit v2.0 October 16, 2008 at 1:58 am

Fuck Grmpy. He was incoherent and crapped his pants half way though.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:00 am

[re=136838]WhatTheHeck[/re]: We all know how much history has favored McCarthy, Ann Coulter excluded.

messickc October 16, 2008 at 2:00 am

LOLz At 0:30 – 0:32 Hopey calls Schaeffer “Bubba”

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:02 am

HA a C-Span caller is favoring McCain because of his advocacy for ‘economical’ reform.

messickc October 16, 2008 at 2:04 am

messickc: Or however you spell his name…

Worlds End October 16, 2008 at 2:08 am
facehead October 16, 2008 at 2:11 am

… I’m gonna try this again… somebody plz tell me if everyone’s seen this already, this may be the greatest gem to ever slip Palin’s mouth, and the debate is overshadowing it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/15/palin-claims-new-hampshir_n_134934.html

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:12 am

A whitey military veteran from Springfield, Missouri calling in to C-Span is hard for Barry, while also thank WALNUTS! for his service.

Missouri needs all of those guys to turn out on Nov. 5.

InsidiousTuna October 16, 2008 at 2:14 am

[re=136849]obfuscator[/re]: Yeah, but also November 4th.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:16 am

[re=136848]facehead[/re]: In other retard news, a C-Span caller is now criticizing Obama for being sworned in on the HOLY KORAN.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:18 am

[re=136850]InsidiousTuna[/re]: You have to nitpick every little thing. So I don’t know what day the election takes place. So what? I live in Illinois. It doesn’t matter when I vote. The ACORNS have me set up with 5 different voter registrations. I’m voting in OH, PA, IA, CO and NV.

Keram2 October 16, 2008 at 2:18 am

OH SHIT! A debate?! I got drunk on $8 liters of beer at The Peculiar Pub instead of watching. Did I miss anything?

facehead October 16, 2008 at 2:19 am

[re=136851]obfuscator[/re]: It will take a nation of retards to hold Obama back.

Worlds End October 16, 2008 at 2:22 am

lol at ron paul caller

messickc October 16, 2008 at 2:23 am

WALNUTS!’s jowl tits looked a little tired tonite.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:23 am

[re=136854]facehead[/re]: Your comment is Chuck D. approved.

Worlds End October 16, 2008 at 2:26 am

these callers are idiots

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:26 am

I know I’m the C-Span surrogate, but a McCain caller just exhorted me to “put my hand on my heart” and vote PALIN-McCain.

upsidedownpaddle October 16, 2008 at 2:26 am

How long ’til Barry and Walnuts! announce Joe Plummingsworth as their running mate instead of the guy from the credit card state and Mrs. back woods Snow methmacine?

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:27 am

[re=136853]Keram2[/re]: You could’ve killed more brain cells watching the debate.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2008 at 2:28 am

[re=136854]facehead[/re]: Well — he’s got a challenge ahead of him, then.
On the bright side, Hopey’s up to the task. He somehow makes a facility with the facts, a thoughtful demeanor and an ability to speak coherently about complex issues seem noble and worthwhile. How I weep for Karl Rove when I think about it.

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:29 am

[re=136861]upsidedownpaddle[/re]: “Bob, I talked to two brothers from the Appalachian portion of Virginia. They are plumbers. They specialize in outhouses. They’re feeling the economic crisis in their pocketwallets. What can we do for THEM?!?!?!?”

obfuscator October 16, 2008 at 2:32 am

[re=136863]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You’re assuming that the American people want a “thoughtful” president who realizes we face “complex issues” by thinking “coherently”.

You’re so optimistic.

Worlds End October 16, 2008 at 2:40 am

palin administration ??????????????????????????

Weeping Jesus October 16, 2008 at 2:40 am

I used to watch some cop show where they always said about suspects or informants: “He’s a little hinky.” That’s what I thought McCain was tonight. Hinky.

donner_froh October 16, 2008 at 2:41 am

[re=136817]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: If someone is in the tank and can easily go the the Adler Planetarium then the tank is in the Shedd Aquarium.

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&safe=off&q=shedd%20aquarium%20map&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2008 at 2:54 am

[re=136866]obfuscator[/re]: Just call me Captain Sunshine. That would explain why I’m constantly followed by animated bluebirds carrying lengths of shimmering silk in their beaks.

ack3000 October 16, 2008 at 3:43 am

Wow, it took so much effort to re-enter wonkette (and I do mean re-enter) that I’m just worn out and forgot what I was going to say. Oh, yeah, I thought Mc did better, but the peeple on my teevee never say that, which makes me happy, and I’m about to wet my pants, but better hold my breath. Are we really gonna win, or is OBL gonna change the whole game, like he always does? Pls let us prosecute war crimes, pretty, pretty please.

Robbertjan October 16, 2008 at 3:54 am

Is it just me or is McCain more and more transforming into Emperor Palpatine?

http://www.spitsnieuws.nl/archives/images/laatstedebat03_gr.jpg

druranium October 16, 2008 at 4:45 am

[re=136874]ack3000[/re]: wow. sounds like you’ve had a rough night. I yelled many many things at my teevee to john. Before I even got home…the minute I heard him on the radio in my car, I simply could not believe the level to which he elevated his “I’m John McCain, and I’m a senile old dick” routine.
He doesn’t even seem to remember anything he used to believe anymore. Sad.

druranium October 16, 2008 at 4:51 am

[re=136875]Robbertjan[/re]: scary photo! It seems like he is on some type of horrible drug…the way he twitched, blinked and tried to produce a condescending line while his opponent was talking
Then at the end, jumping up and yelling GOOD JOB! three times all up in barry’s space. And the twitching jolting stammering and lurching. So very terrifying.
Please, cut the dosage john!

BobLoblawLawBlog October 16, 2008 at 4:57 am

[re=136827]azw88[/re]: Fuck plumbers. I’ve had no cold water in my shower for a month now. The plumber who came to fix it made it go from a drizzle to a dribble, then ran away before I could stop him. Fucking coward.

[re=136854]facehead[/re]: Are you somehow implying the U.S. is not a nation of retards?

TeddyS October 16, 2008 at 5:28 am

Wow, Walnuts scooped up the Joe the Plumber vote. The man (meaning McCain) seemed deranged and on the verge of breaking into meaningless angry gibberish. Another ten minutes and he would have been stroking out in anger.

WonkaBee October 16, 2008 at 5:52 am

[re=136883]TeddyS[/re]: That wasn’t gibberish, it was gobbledygook. Because he’s a Maverick*, donchanoes. (It’s Doctor Goodword’s Word of the Day)

*Word History: The eponym of today’s word is Texas cattleman,
Samuel Maverick (1803-1870), who let the calves in his herd roam
unbranded. Other ranchers, who initially “adopted” them, referred
to them as “Maverick’s” but the term soon migrated into ‘mavericks’.
An interesting side note: Sam’s grandson, Maury Maverick, coined
the word ‘gobbledygook’ to describe bureaucratic doubletalk.
While serving in the U.S. Congress (1935-1939), he explained
that he based the word on the sound of turkeys (the flying kind)
back in Texas, who were “. . . always gobbledy-gobbling and strutting
with ludicrous pomposity.” At the end of this gobble there is,
according to Maverick, a sort of “gook”.

*******************************************

Hmmmmm, seems like McCain likes that last word, too!

Quietly October 16, 2008 at 5:53 am

At a spry 72 years of age, John McCain is still youthful enough to act like a second grader! It’s like it’s 5 minutes before recess and while the teacher is just talking and talking about punctuation or some shit, all McCain can do is look out the window and smile longingly between sighs of frustration.

Poor little guy.

WonkaBee October 16, 2008 at 5:54 am

And for pure comedy gold: The Snort http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TgBwOC2nK9I

Serolf Divad October 16, 2008 at 6:48 am

[re=136814]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]:

Agreed. That clip gave me a headache, too.

Guppy06 October 16, 2008 at 6:55 am

[re=136808]obfuscator[/re]: Actually, it reminds me of Gore in ’00. Or at least it would have, if I had actually watched last night’s debate.

Terry October 16, 2008 at 7:27 am

Damn, John now has to worry if he can carry Arizona.

facehead October 16, 2008 at 7:39 am

[re=136885]Quietly[/re]: the technical phrase is “hopped up on goofballs”

Robbertjan October 16, 2008 at 7:54 am
CankleBiter October 16, 2008 at 7:55 am

My favorite quote from the Fox “news” forum.

“UNBELIEVABLE! THE FOX NEWS PUNDITS WERE SHAMEFUL. MCCAIN HAD A WONDERFUL DEBATE! KRISTOL AND BARNES WERE PATHETIC. WHO IS IN THE TANK FOR OBAMA? CERTAINLY, THESE TWO!

WHAT AN EMBARRASSMENT TO FOX!”

All caps is always a plus. Now w get to sit back and watch them eat there own for twenty days.

http://foxforum.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/10/15/youdecide_1015/

facehead October 16, 2008 at 8:03 am

FUCKING PRICELESS: Ben Smith has it on good authority (i.e. he’s Keyser Soze) that America’s favorite new plumber is not even registered to vote:

http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/1008/The_Joe_file.html#comments

Can I start my “Joe and The Plumbers” indy rock band yet?

Robbertjan October 16, 2008 at 8:10 am

[re=136894]CankleBiter[/re]: well this comment is a gem: Whats the difference between Sarah Palins Mouth and her womb? Only some of the stuff that comes out of her womb are retarded.

hehehe.

azw88 October 16, 2008 at 8:14 am

[re=136886]WonkaBee[/re]: I thought I heard something!! In fact, there wre a couple of times I thought I heard something similar during the debate..

And fuck Joe the Plumber…. registered to vote or not, he is still a money-grabbing plumber! $90.00 or more per hour!

Robbertjan October 16, 2008 at 8:28 am

wow… I don’t know if this clip has been on Wonkette already but I am utterly impressed by Obama here. Not only does he take the time to answer this man’s question, he also seems to know what he is talking about. a rare comodity today in politicians:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFC9jv9jfoA

facehead October 16, 2008 at 8:28 am

[re=136894]CankleBiter[/re]: Wow, there are over 20k comments, truly a treasure trove of crap.

The following was entirely caps lock worthy, but the author is clearly too humble for that:

“Comment by Dee
October 16th, 2008 at 8:05 am
You know I read an article not too long ago that referenced Hitler. Did you guys know that Hitler got into power by promising “change”?? Isn’t that exactly what Obama keeps promising? Do we really want Hitler running this country? Also the bible references that the anti-christ will be a muslim put into power. HMMMM, sounds a little too familiar doesn’t it?? And I like someones else’s comment on here, I absolutely agree that Obama would not qualify to be his own body guard because of his ties to a known terrorist. Just what we need, our own president coordinating the next 9/11.

McCAIN/PALIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11″

This is something one of us would write as a joke…

Kwame' October 16, 2008 at 8:29 am

Even though Joe the Plumber isn’t saying who he is voting for, in the end it always comes down to a “Code Brown”.

CankleBiter October 16, 2008 at 8:32 am

[re=136902]facehead[/re]: Even if my man Obama wins I still fear for the future. They are truly scary.

freakishlystrong October 16, 2008 at 8:34 am

I could not get teh interwebs at my house last night, and am now on the verge of losing my job, because the furries are killing me.
Can someone please tell me why the fuck that old curmudgeon kept talking about autism, and the snobilly’s deep knowledge of it? Does she have it? I thought little Trig had the Down syndrome?

Servo October 16, 2008 at 8:39 am

One whiny plumber or millions of people? Sorry, Joe. But look at the bright side; with a tax break, average folks may actually be able to afford your extor…er, fees.

ihasasad October 16, 2008 at 8:41 am

Why did not the Wonkette say to TURN ME VOLUME DOWN MON!! That was painful to my earholes

azw88 October 16, 2008 at 8:42 am

Umm, Joe the Plumber related to a figure in the Keating Scandal??

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9E0CE6DF173DF935A25756C0A964958260

And it seems Joe is not registered to vote….

facehead October 16, 2008 at 8:43 am

[re=136907]freakishlystrong[/re]: You’re right. Trig isn’t in the tank for Rain Man. I saw someone else make that point as well (sum pundit type wit da smarts).

Neon Trotsky October 16, 2008 at 8:45 am

[re=136894]CankleBiter[/re]: It’s a veritable treasure trove at the old Fox News:

“Comment by Laura B
October 16th, 2008 at 8:25 am
I was extremely proud of Mr. MdCain, as he was the person he has always been, a gentleman, a true American patriot, and one not so glib with words as his opponent, but so real and genuine in demeanor that one can admire him for what he has done, not just talked about, in his political career. As for that knockout blow the press keeps looking for, he was a knockout by his stance and personhood before the cameras. a person that can be trusted at the helm of our nation. this is what we are looking for, and found it in Mr. Mccain.”

We were always looking for the knockout blow, when really the knockout was John McCain himself, standing right in front of us. Sigh ♥♥♥

azw88 October 16, 2008 at 8:51 am

[re=136902]facehead[/re]: Fucking Christian wannabees! They are so caught up in there ‘religion’ that they can’t be bothered to READ THEIR OWN BOOK. There is NOTHING in the Revelation of John that mentions a Muslim, Islam etc.

And for her BULLSHIT about Hitler. Hitler wasn’t at the top of the ticket, Field Marshall von Hindenburg was. Von Hindenburg/Hitler ran on change, yes.. but his promise of change was about RESTORING MILITARY MIGHT.
Hitler is more like PALIN, very little experience, good at giving fiery, hate-filled speeches.

facehead October 16, 2008 at 8:56 am

[re=136910]azw88[/re]: WTF? how many Wurzelbachers can there be? You are harshing my harsh.

“The guilty plea today was from Robert M. Wurzelbacher Jr., who had been a senior vice president of Lincoln’s parent company, the American Continental Corporation of Phoenix, and the chief executive of an investment firm owned by Lincoln Savings. Mr. Wurzelbacher, who is 38 years old, is married to the former Elizabeth Keating, one of Mr. Keating’s daughters. ”

I scientifically googled “Wurzelbacher” and got 19k hits; and most of them (probably) showed up just from last night.

I, for one, welcome our Wurzelbacherian overlords, and look forward to prostrating myself before the Wurzelbacher dynasty of plumbers, ceo’s, and other general a-holes.

azw88 October 16, 2008 at 8:57 am

[re=136913]Neon Trotsky[/re]: So, McCain wasn’t blinking, he was winking at Laura… Blinking WITH BOTH EYES, rapidly, at Laura…

Robbertjan October 16, 2008 at 8:57 am

[re=136914]azw88[/re]: Which makes sense for the bible was written a couple of hundred years before Islam was invented/created, you pick.

as for Hitler: Hitler actually wanted to go back in time and retake what was taken from Germany. back to the fundamentals of the Weimar Republic. that sounds quite ehhm…republican?

Neon Trotsky October 16, 2008 at 9:02 am

[re=136914]azw88[/re]: In fact, I’m fairly sure the Book of Revelation describes the antichrist as being a “Roman,” so we should actually be keeping an eye on Silvio Berlusconi, Antonin Scalia, et al.

Also, another fun Hitler-Palin parallel. In the early 1920s, when he was still a small fry, Hitler associated with Bavarian separatists and tried to work with them in the Beer Hall Putsch.

It’s always funny how the people that claim to be most Christian generally know the least about the Bible and how people that bring up Hitler the most know the least about his life and policies…

facehead October 16, 2008 at 9:05 am
azw88 October 16, 2008 at 9:07 am

[re=136918]Robbertjan[/re]: Actually, the Weimar Republic was Germany from the end of WWI to about 1933.

The ticket of the Field Marshall and the Lance Corporal ran on their status as war heroes who wanted to restore Germany’s glory days as a military power.

Itsjustme October 16, 2008 at 9:10 am

[re=136908]Servo[/re]: I don’t like plumbers. They always say not to flush tampons.

Robbertjan October 16, 2008 at 9:16 am

[re=136925]azw88[/re]: you’re right my bad.. I meant back to before WWI

Doc Gerbil October 16, 2008 at 9:18 am

Holy crap, it is obvious that Grampy was hopped up on 5 Hour Energy Drinks and Milk Of Magnesia cocktails for this one!

What a twitching, grimacing, smirking douche bag!

Color me impressed, but I miss Joe SixPack and the Mavericks.

GetItWrong October 16, 2008 at 9:20 am

If I recall correctly, Islam’s own version of the book of revelations has Jesus returning to battle pigs and taxes, rather than the Antichrist.

If John McCain is the second coming of Jesus Christ, he’s really slowrolling it.

facehead October 16, 2008 at 9:21 am

I think you guyz are …. talking about the past when the present is quite strange and provocative…

Am I the only libtard here who’s wondering if this Wurzelbacher-Keating connection isn’t just a coincidence?

Could Joe the Plumber have been paid off to “stump” Obama (though he failed)? Why would the guy ask Obama a question like that, when he’s not even registered to vote? I think that is really fishy…

And I can’t stop thinking about how McCain first said “Joe Wurzelbacher” during the debate…

facehead October 16, 2008 at 9:25 am

[re=136944]facehead[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40

slithytoves October 16, 2008 at 10:28 am

[re=136930]Itsjustme[/re]: Win.

iolanthe October 16, 2008 at 1:46 pm

Here is yet another good, fast take on last night’s debate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l63SRpGXBHE

We need to buy McCain a purple tophat and an umbrella.

disgustedcitizen October 16, 2008 at 3:02 pm

Seriously, did anyone besides my wife and I hear WALNUTS! address Bob Schiffer as “Mr. Harris”?

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