Wonkette
Check out that ACORN squirrel illegally registering black Richard Simmons to vote in the swing state of New York. These liberal tracheotomy squirrels, can you even believe them. They should all be thrown in a bathtub of battery acid and Truck Nutz. Such things will be topics at this evening’s debate. Let’s see what the lamers on CNN are saying before the debate. BRING YR PANTS.
8:38 — My oh my there are a lot of people at this CNN roundtable — a veritable baker’s dozen! Paul Begala is talking about Democrats being more popular than the Republicans, because he is sitting at the “Partisan’s Panel,” which is, uh, extremely different from the unthinking robot table, somehow.
8:39 — No sign of that anchor who called someone a “cunt,” twice. Maybe she got fired? Y’know John McCain calls his wife a cunt all the time, but he doesn’t get fired from CNN — he gets to run for preznint. Which would be worse?
8:41 — Oh sweet, commercial. That means it’s our favorite time of the night: let’s see what K-Lo is saying at the Corner.
re: Wine [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Well, someone has to be semi-sober liveblogging.
Palin Syrah for Election night.
What is this about being SOBER while liveblogging? National Review is like 800 million pounds of no fun.
8:44 — Ha ha, Dana Bash keeps asking about what McCain’s “AIDS” are telling her. Why is she insulting Andrew Sullivan? Oh.
8:46 — Bill Bennett is worried that Bill Ayers will be named Secretary of Education. Everyone laughs at him, but we think that’s not a bad idea. Ha ha, he’d teach all the kids in schools to bomb CNN. In any event, he couldn’t be worse than Bill Bennett was.
8:48 — There are seriously 19 thousand humans at this debate panel. Among the new additions this week: Amy Holmes and the dead Heath Ledger. WTF how’d they do that.
8:50 — Alex Castellanos was asked to describe McCain’s message in one word. Castellanos’ answer the entire text of War & Peace.
8:52 — Oh here’s America’s Ohio panel of the undecided fat voters. They can’t pick candidates and it makes them sad so they just eat all night long.
8:54 — There are their little tables, for the candidates. Who’s the moderator, Schieffer? Well Bob Schieffer will be getting footjobs all night long. “Heh heh heh,” Walnuts will say as his foot gropes Bob Schieffer’s hoo-hoo.
8:56 — Here they are talking about old Bill and Hillary Clinton, and whether people care what they say. “Yes,” says Toobin. “No,” says Gergen. “GOT ME POCKETFULS OF GOLD,” shouts the 19th century mining prospector, who’s been invited to the panel this evening somehow.
8:59 — Oh well that’s it. Your editor and “top desert furry” Ken Layne will be typing his stuff for the next half-hour. Enjoy, ACORNs! GO HERE.
Chock full of fruits and nuts.
One is a furry, one is a Republican publicity stunt.
It’s John McCain and his new running mate. And sadly, Richard Simmons is actually more qualified than Bible Spice.
Lots of sexy Wonkette chatting action at http://wonkette.chatango.com for livebloggery pleasure. It gets hectic watching the chat as well as Wonkette, but it’s well worth it.
Is that Art Garfunkel?
Rahm Emmanuel just said, “McCain is a grumpy old man, out picking up the newspaper, saying, ‘You kids get off my lawn!’”
Reefpilot: That big orange thing with Richard Simmons? Yes.
“I wanna be a dick, dick, dick, dictator”–John McCain.
I sar ‘im once at the ATL airport carryin a pillow. Hiz hair is just as wild in person from 30 feet away
Kyra Phillips is never at these pre-debate orgy things. Don’t worry though, everyone else at CNN thinks Leslie Sanchez is a cunt too, so she won’t be fired.
Wasn’t there a story about him going to a hospital to get a squirrel out of his butt?
Delicious: Chock full o’ nuts is one heavenly coffee…. Better coffee a millionarie’s money can’t buy. (Because after today, he’s just as broke as the rest of us.)
ihasasad: No, wait, that was another Richard and it was a hamster or sumthin
V572625694: That oughta be the Obama’s ad for the last 20 days. In b and w, slo mo with the standard bass narration. “Get off my lawn you crazy kids”…
The early morning graph of the Nikkei looks just like the line one could trace of McCain’s polling the last two weeks. Freefallin’…I’m…Freefallin’
InsidiousTuna: I love the repartee at chatandgo, but that site gives me cataracts. I can barely see Wonkette.
*weeping now*
What’s the deal with the sweater Chris Matthews is wearing? He looks like my Grandpa.
Debate in 5. Hold me! I’m skerred!
Damn! What’s with the bags around his eyes.. Looks like Simmons has been crying?
ihasasad: Do you refer to our American gigolo and his gerbil?
eastcoastliberal: He’s trying to fit in with the kids at the kegger.
eastcoastliberal: Is he outside? That’s why…He oughta be in a London Fog trench.
I think the candidates ought to be able to bring out their laptops and do this “open book”.
Ohio folks are fat and sad and annoying.
I’ll take those guys for president and vice president. Yeah, them, the furry dude and the squirrel.
When did Matthews become “Sweater Guy”?
Down Goes Frazier: Bound for Challenger Deep.
My dilemma. Do I watch CNN with the EKG of how Ohio voters feel or try to find something with no graphic…
Uh oh… Wonkette is loading slower and slower… will she make it through?!
Fuck Blitzer. I needs me some KO.
OK!!!! HERE IT IS!!!!!
“can I call you Barry?”
No CNN for me. too many graphics on screen. I care not what their analysts think.
Teleprompter is misaligned ARRRGGH!! Its like talking to someone with a lazy eye
BOB IS A GNOME
At 7:58 Central time on MSNBC my favorite in the tank for barry obambi network, had a live shot of Chris Matthews at the Hofstra campus. In the background they had the squirrel popping it’s gigantic fucking head.
smellyal8r: with you there smelly
Walnuts is already taking notes? Really? Bad day on Wall Street.. I’ll have to say something about that! Nancy R. Cheers!!
do we drink when he mentions nancy reagan, or just ronald?
are they angry?
oh fuck, Nancy Reagan. DRINK!
where is warrrxhingtondeecee?
What dumbass left off “angry” from the drinking game?
yay, the squirrely walnutz has accornowledged it’s time to to…to…what was the kweschun again???
i tink we shud send walnutz to warshingon, dee cee…but he shouldn’t make it ay ceee unless chuck keating cooughs up some more greenspans.
OH MY GOD! McCain Botoxed! He’s more frozen than an ice cream sandwich!
The Repubs on the CNN EKG love it when he agrees with Senator McCain about socializing every house in ‘Murrikka.
smellyal8r: Watch CNN. How else will you know how to think about the issues, without that EKG?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, can u say tawkin’ points? cindy, is outta ‘ludes. ask joe the plumber.
Joe the Plumber= drink.
No. 1…you ain’t gonna have an adminstation cuz Warren Buffet will be marrying his cousin, Jimmy and they’ll be ‘queing at dubyah’s 2 volume libury in Crawdad, or where ever his from since, I zzz zzzzzzzzzzzz
look at McCain’s forehead. Botox. Botox. Botox. Grampa uses Botox.
tawkin pointz….tawling pointz…zzzzzzzz
I wonder if McCain gets his ‘tox from Pelosi’s plastic surgeon.
Joe the Plumber will hunt down Bin Laden at the gates of hell.
B.O., git that professorial tone in check, dude…’member, uhMAREickAh, wants to have a Rolling Rock witchoo..and Waltnutz, don’t ferget to take a scalpel to that pustule on your right named Syrah.
Pork=drinks
b.o can’t be for pork can he? i thot he was an A-rab.?
oh that was effective…Walnutz is not prezynit butch…..right. he’s 20 yrs older.
uh oh…Wallnutz has his legal pad out, he’s takin’ names. “ok, Mr. Hussein, where were YOU on 9/11/01?”
When I’m like 65 I hope I look as good as Richard Simmons. I’m nice tonite.
WELLL, finally!! Sen Van Winkle is proud of his Ku Lux Klan rallys, wooo hooo.
Grandpa is talking about the good old days again…