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WASHINGTON, DC, 06:00 AM, MON NOVEMBER 23 | Advertise on Wonkette |
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DIE DIE DIE.
Okay, I’ll be there.
No Views. No Comments.
Hey! That’s me!
If Bob Scheiffer is caught spinning on his head beforehand we’ll know he’s in the tank.
I’m gonna need a bigger flamethrower.
this is a nightmare….right?…
I didn’t know squirrels could type!
I’ll be watching on teh teevees with some friends. But I’ll be thinking of you guys.
Al Austin, a longtime, high-level Republican fundraiser from Tampa
emailed a joke:
The joke concerns a group of schoolchildren discussing the definition of “tragedy” as opposed to “great loss” or “accident.” The punch line comes when one child says that if an airplane carrying Obama and his wife, Michelle, “was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile and blown to smithereens,” the event might be a tragedy “because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss, and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”
http://www.tboblogs.com/index.php/news/story/top-tampa-gop-figure-circulates-joke-about-killing-obama/
truck nutz licker!
anabellum: ok just chill..i know the whole republican in animal suits thing is creepin ya out…bit its really just fine….
heres a nice glass of wine..
You know, the colors don’t have that extra debating muscle. And I heard Walnuts is really good at this sitting down and talking type format. As opposed to the drunken, wondering around, Alzheimer’s format. Although, Walnuts getting up and wondering around has not been ruled out.
I like that squirrell. He’s nice.
The disturbing thing is he doesn’t have any pants on. At least Robin Hood Sen. Obama wears some clothes.
http://offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com/2008/10/barack-is-robin-hood-in-sheeps-clothes.html
Oh it’s tonight!!!
Must hit liquor store. (For cash, so I can buy the good wine.)
A little behind… Just saw the “cunt-cunt-contributor” video. Wow! One for the Wonkette DVD or something.
ihasasad: Can’t he just forward pictures of kittens and Jesus Loves You iconography like everyone else’s senile grandparent?
That is one Mavericky squirrel, there, boy….. Serolf is right - it’s already better with the sound off. Oh, it hasn’t started yet? I’m not putting down this rum and coca cola - it’s the only thing that did good on the market today… the market is in the tank for Obama…
Baldeagle79: This should help you.
Is that ACORN squirrel rabble-rousing in Times Square? Do they think this ACORN pseudo-scandal is the thing that finally tips the state of New York into the Republicans’ column?!?
Maybe its just one of those gay Disney squirrels.
tunamelt: No, you are thinking of John McCain.
Virginia is in the tank! Yaaaaaay!
tunamelt: He prolly ‘meant’ to but ‘accidently’ sent this instead. Poor fella.
I just realized that with this whole ACORN/RNC furries thing, and WALNUTS! tanking in the polls, that the campaign really has come full circle.
I CAN HAZ FRAUDULENT VOTER REGISTRATION FORM?
ihasasad: What the f*** is wrong with these people?! After seeing that I was gonna suggest someone smack him in the face with a frying pan, but then I saw his photo in the article and realized someone had already taken care of that.
SayItWithWookies: He’s an Oxymoron without the Oxy part.
I can almost see Hofstra University from Brooklyn, which means I’m a moderator.
I will be there for sound and the furry.
Hey! 10-4! Snowbilly roundup!
Say, want to be truly truly amused? Tune in to John Gibson (FOX NEWS RADIO) right now (this very minute) - do it on iTunes (TALK/SPOKEN FOX NEWS RADIO) and hear Gibson go nuts nuts about Hopey’s lies! He might have a heart attack on air.
By the way, I used to play soccer during summers at Hofstra. Ugly school, bumpy pitch.
MSNBC pre-game coverage was scanning the enthusiastic crowds. One young woman was hoisting a sign reading “HOFSTRA PRIDE!” Of course, she was holding it upside down. Future of America.
I’m half drunk already so I may have to pass out before this damn thing starts. Why can’t America hold these debates in the middle of the day EST? Selfish bastards have no consideration for the foreigns trying to watch. If this keeps up, we may not vote in your damn election.
-
Baldeagle79: Hey Baldy, that is a REPUBLICAN squirrel… He’s chasing 11 and 12 year old girls through Time Square, yelling “But I’ve got the lube!!”
El Bombastico: PRIDE!
In case Wonkette dies like it did during the VP debate *crosses self*, there is a FREE SEXY WONKETTE CHAT ROOM at http://wonkette.chatango.com
tunamelt: EDIRP
wheelie: Hey Mr. Wheelie, Here I am in Paris, drinking a 2005 Pinot, waiting so I can listen, get to sleep and wake up before dawn to get out of town. Politikin’ is wearing me down. Are you in Dublin? That there country obliges you to drink yourself unconscious. You a telemarketer?
SayItWithWookies: Don’t feel bad, I’ve heard the same joke for years in about eleventy variations, ‘cept it was Bill and Hillary, Cindy Sheehan, Jimmy Carter and strangely enough N’Sync.
InsidiousTuna: Republican Senators and two double A batteries included?
So Chip n Dale stored WALNUTS! in their tree for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS before he developed unappetising tumors and now they only have rancid ACORNs to eat? Is that how it goes? No socialist bailout for greedy squirrels!
tunamelt: Well, if a family of Lions is hanging about, someone had better warn the squirrel… aw, fuck him.. he’s a pants-less, child rapin, lube and dildo carrying like all NY Republicans….
tunamelt: You know it.
InsidiousTuna: Actually, is anyone in there yet? All you elitists on different time zones who got out of work like an hour ago and are already drinking while sad west coast me has fifty minutes left oh my god…?
A funny is watching Kelly O’Donnell ramp up Walnuts’s performance for this debate tonight. Apparently because he’s been on so many of these Sunday morning shows, where you have to SIT, Walnuts will do really well tonight because he has to, wait for it, SIT.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/15/kelly-odonnell-awkardly-p_n_134982.html
Hey, sorry to post off-subject, but does anyone know why Palin attended 5 schools to obtain her Bachelors degree over six years?
I theorize, based purely on conjecture, that Palin’s serial sexual dalliances with each school’s athletic teams required her to keep transferring to a new school. Most of my speculation involves sex, though, so I was hoping someone here might have a more credible guess.
Texan Bulldoggette: HA! They tried telling me he did well in TOWN HALL settings and then he just looked like my grandpa, hunting around for where he left his bag of Werthers Originals.
Off-topic, not that there actually is a topic, but wtf is up with Dick Morris’s electoral projections map? He’s calling ARIZONA for Obama. http://w3.newsmax.com/a/morrismap/
Jim: next time, break the percodan in _half_…
MISTAHCOUGHDROP: Hey there, Paris person. Telemarketing? How’d you figure that? There is nothing left to market any more, except the bitter tears of poverty etc.
justshocking: From his lips to God’s ear, but Obama campaign not putting a solid effort into Arizona. There are two field organizers in Tucson, but few big events,and none with any of the top 4 (candidates and wives) since February.
If Obama and Biden would make stops in Tucson and Phoenix, we could take the state and really make Johnny-Mac and Cindy cry!
Lou Dobbs hates him some black people (I thought he just hated Mexskins)
rambone: I’m voting that she left the schools before any major paper was due or final exams. I’m guessing she really got her degree from the Univ of Phoenix online degree program, which was where Walnuts found her trying to sharpen a mechanical pencil.
SayItWithWookies: Thank you!
Baldeagle79: Hey, Baldy, since you seem to be our resident Republican, why is it the GOP has a sudden fetish for furries? Is this a lame attempt at humor by analogizing rodents to Obama - because, y’know, certain rodents like acorns, and acorns sound like ACORN, and ACORN = voter registration = Obama?
By the way, your blog is lame.
rambone: It wasn’t the athleticals, she ain’t that cute. It was faculty. That’s why she’s so comfortable with NUTS! and Rick Davis. She likes ‘em low and wrinkly.
I knew I should have bought an extra bottle of gin.
Just as well. If I took a drink every time Walnuts said “my friend” it’d probably kill me.
justshocking: I think Morris is on crack again. He’s also calling Louisiana, Georgia, and South Carolina tossup states.
This must be the wingnut base trying to lower expectations.
I dig the link to the Palin biography/hagiography linked on that page. That’s worth about 50¢ in the remainder bin. The title should be something like “Sarah: How a Poorly-Vetted Hockey Mom Totally Fucked the Republican Ticket” rather than “Sarah: How a Hockey Mom Turned the Republican Establishment Upside-Down.” How things change in a month…
http://shop.newsmax.com/shop/index.cfm?page=products&productid=618&promo_code=6AAE-1
Is there a CSPAN streaming link that doesn’t skip like hell?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RlK0Xd4c2c
SayItWithWookies: Yes, Wookie, we in the commonwealth have imbibed teh koolaid.
NoWireHangers: Cuz squirrels love both ACORNS and WALNUTS! See….it makes sense…
Gurth LongEye: I could have done w/o the visual…
justshocking: If Barry wins a Goldwater state, Hell will have officially frozen over.
ihasasad: He “unknowingly” sent the joke. What do you think “send” does, asswipe?
Morris to McCain:
A WINNER IS YOU
http://www.newsmax.com/morris/acorn_barack_obama/2008/10/15/140760.html
Srsly, Morris says that if the Dow stops taking a shit, “then the race may close swiftly and dramatically” because of ACORN.
Furries! You are first on my list of o.k. things to eat when I become a hobo and no longer have any available food(given the stock market’s direction, this may be tomorrow). You brought it upon yourselves by dressing like animals. You’ve been warned.
Dientes: Furries are gross and probably smell of yeasty rolls of skin, effluvia, and never-washed sweaty suits.
Handy debate bingo-style cards for drinking games or just for the memories:
McCain - http://alt.coxnewsweb.com/statesman/pdf/10/mccainbingo.pdf
Obama - http://alt.coxnewsweb.com/statesman/pdf/10/obamabingo.pdf
Could we just have Obama and McCain dress up in the squirrel costumes and wail on each other with Nerf bats? That would teach us more than which candidate can pivot off a question into his stump speech quicker.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
stew: Maybe he thinks blacks are Mexicans with a tan.
Miller: If they wail on each other in a kiddie pool filled with cole slaw. Hell yes.
Something tells me this guy is pretty pissed about right now.
http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00436/Naked-Cowboy_280_436346a.jpg
I ain’t gonna watch it.
I hate being white.
anabellum: Please see http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=confurvatives
The conservative furries are apparently a bigger niche than what would ordinarily be expected.
So, is this supposed to be the “aggressive sitting down Jamakane”? CNN advises Obama to “remain calm” like that hasn’t been part of the Toledo training. “Now Hopey, WALNUTS is going to call you a terrorist…what are you going to say?” Thank God the tanking market is in the tank for Obama. I was worried it’d be up 800 points today and McGrumpy would take take credit for that…
El Bombastico:
…and why the fuck would you name a college after Jimmy Hofstra!?
Stunning that the comments are shut down on that Squirrel-o-phile’s website. Just stunning.
Must see. Thanks to Armbinder and KO.
http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/10/the_debate_watch_it_before_it.php
I hope that colord fella makes Senator McCain tell us where Osama Bin Laden is, and how to go get him. Is he right where we want him, too?
He should tell us, just in case he forgets later, or gets sick and dies or something, we’d know.
DangerousLiberal: So, you were calling him an asswipe and not asking if that’s what he thought ’send’ does, amiright?
First debate observation: Bill Bennett is fucking huuuge.
Have fun with the debate, suckers. I’m off to see the Three Penny Opera.
Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other. — Ronald Reagan
http://www.offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com
bitchincamaro: HAHAHA. About 1:00 in I thought, this has to be a mashup, right?
Here is direct link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l63SRpGXBHE
ihasasad: No, I’m pretty sure he was calling you an asswipe. If I was you, I’d pull a Jamakane and release five-and-a-half years of pent-up fury on Dangerous Liberal.
P.S. Totally keeping my fingers crossed that tonight will be the night that McCain calls Barry a halfbreed or mulato.
stew: He’s been that big for looonng time. Stress eating’s my guess. That and the fact he never shut down the Department of Education when Ronnie was Prez. That was when the Mallowmar addiction started.
tunamelt:
Although I appreciate your kind gesture, an overabundance of multi-syllabled makes me appear too loquacious, even in written form. I do enjoy witty banter, and it’s apparent that you enjoy it, too. Oftentimes liberals point out the failings of other people; however, they would be much busier by taking a more introspective approach.
I’m like your version of Howard Stern, but I still talk gooder.
http://www.offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com
spencer: Are we watching msnbc or cnn tonite? need to knowwwwww!
bitchincamaro:
Hah. Lightweight.
I’m watching FOX.
‘Cuz I want to see the fair and balanced obama bashing.
bitchincamaro: I got the frothy Keith w/delicious Rachel in the wings (can I call her Rachelle - I know, I know , ok, I like gurlz too, but still I can dream), so, yep MSNBC, plus it’s three channels from Fox, for the occassional rabid fox spittle relish…. still sittin,thinkin,drinkin, soon to be stinken…god I need a life
seriously, he brings up nancy reagan first?