• May 26, 2012
CLOSING TIME

October 15, 2008

Last Call: Wonkette’s Final 2008 Debate Drinking Game

by Ken Layne  

What's a good beer nut? ACORNS!!!!1!Wait, we only have an hour left to put together a drinking game? That’s not enough time to create high-quality alcoholic comedy! Well, we shall do our best — if by “our best” you mean, “We’ll just throw together a quick phrase/drink list and you can give it a try, at home!”

By “drink,” we mean a hit off your beer or wine or cocktail. We’ll say “shot” when it’s time to do shots.

    McCAIN: ONE DRINK

  • “My friends.”
  • “I know how to ….”
  • Any leering mention of Palin, which will be all mentions of Palin.
  • “Most liberal senator.”
  • “I suspended my campaign.”
  • “Ronald Reagan.”
  • OBAMA: ONE DRINK

  • “Look ….”
  • (Shakes head with dignity.)
  • “Voted 95% of the time with George W. Gush ….”
  • “Middle class.”
  • “Erratic.”
  • “Change.”
  • TWO DRINKS!!!

  • “Heh heh.”
  • McCain insults the moderator.
  • Obama uses fruity (accurate) pronunciation of “Pakistan.”
  • McCain says any variation of “five and a half years.”
  • Any mention by anyone of Jesus, or Allah.
  • “That’s simply not true.”
  • ONE SHOT!

  • “William Myers.”
  • “Jeremiah Wright.”
  • “John Hagee.”
  • “ACORN!”
  • THREE SHOTS!!!

  • “That One.”
  • “Palling around with terrorists.”

Please add last-second extra drinking rules in the comments!

{ 35 comments }

Bitch's_Brew October 15, 2008 at 8:29 pm

Oh god, you are drinking already, eh?

ivenson October 15, 2008 at 8:30 pm

If either of them says “traitor!” or “kill him!” shoot heroin into your eyeball.

tunamelt October 15, 2008 at 8:32 pm

CABERNET!

hesakillerqueen October 15, 2008 at 8:32 pm

If McCain wants to fuck up all of Obama’s youth GOTV efforts, all he has to do tonight is begin every sentence with “my friends.” No voter under the age of 30 will live to see Thursday.

Quacker October 15, 2008 at 8:33 pm

One Drink – “Maverick” if WALNUTS says it.

Two Drinks – “Maverick” if Bob Schieffer says it

Three Shots – “Maverick” if Hopey says it!

Down Goes Frazier October 15, 2008 at 8:34 pm

I’m ignoring the debate and just having a beer for every 100 points the Nikkei goes down tonight. I’m guessing this first six-pack ain’t gonna be enough.

Texas2Step October 15, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Put on yer boots! It’s Weasel Stompin’ DAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!

Clancy_Pants October 15, 2008 at 8:35 pm

1 shot if Grampy gets up and starts wandering the stage

23skidoo October 15, 2008 at 8:36 pm

Keg stand if Schieffer says leeringly of Palin, “I’d tap that.”

InsidiousTuna October 15, 2008 at 8:37 pm

I’m just gonna kill this bottle of vodka.

sk1win October 15, 2008 at 8:38 pm

When McCain drops the n-bomb it’s truckbombs for everyone. Truckbomb=pint of Baileys and Jameson dropped into a pitcher of Guinness. Good luck!

MplsMama October 15, 2008 at 8:39 pm

McCain One Drink:

- liberal media
- activist judges
- Obama bin Laden
- creepy smile

Sire Says October 15, 2008 at 8:40 pm

Throw a carafe of Midori in your face when WALNUTS uses his opening remarks to wish NANCY Reagan a speedy recovery, my friends.

Oh, I am liveblogging too, here.

tunamelt October 15, 2008 at 8:41 pm

[re=135168]hesakillerqueen[/re]: hahaha. truth.

Josh Fruhlinger October 15, 2008 at 8:41 pm

What about when Obama touches his index finger to his thumb and sort of waves his hand around vaguely in rhythm to whatever he’s saying? That’s a gesture I’m thinking we’re all going to be good and sick of by 2016.

ihasasad October 15, 2008 at 8:42 pm

What happens if someone says “Cunt, cunt, contributor?”

willmmmm October 15, 2008 at 8:46 pm

One Drink – Every time McCain’s body language creeps you out.

Dreamer October 15, 2008 at 8:55 pm

Two Drinks – Everytime McCain says “I know how to do it”, “I fought for you or I will fight for you.”

rocktonsammy October 15, 2008 at 8:57 pm

everybody shotguns a 40 oz. malt liquor if either master debater mentions the middle class, poor, uninsured,abortion rights, better education, less government,legalize pot,equal rights for queers and just plain respect everyones right to do whatever as long as it ain’t hurting anyone.

yvels88 October 15, 2008 at 8:59 pm

FINISH YOUR DRINK!!! If:
Schieffer or McCain soil themselves.
Cindy McCain shows emotion in her face post-debate.

Crab1 October 15, 2008 at 9:00 pm

2 drinks every time a candidate says something that makes you throw up in your mouth.

The Intern October 15, 2008 at 9:00 pm

I’m drinking lemondrops tonight to match McCain’s sour face.

Rielle Hunter October 15, 2008 at 9:03 pm

THIS IS SAD. This is the last one? Will I have to stop drinking now??

Half-Price Muslin October 15, 2008 at 9:03 pm

The first time McCain “defends” Obama from character smears immediately before gleefully making a smear himself, just shoot me.

patman October 15, 2008 at 9:12 pm

“crisis” -> 1 shot of Jack Daniels
“main street” -> 1 shot of Cuervo (silver/clear, not gold)
“wall street” -> 1 shot of Patrón

Actually I can’t handle watching the debate … it makes me tear up with boredom even if I am drinking :-(

patman October 15, 2008 at 9:13 pm

grrr it ate my comment :-(

kfcbeveragelover October 15, 2008 at 9:19 pm

[re=135219]yvels88[/re]: How dare you make fun of the disabled. I think it’s remarkable that Cindy McCain has succeeded so much after such a tragic Botox accident. For shame.

kfcbeveragelover October 15, 2008 at 9:21 pm

i want to take a scalpel to a hatchet, that would be sweeeeeeeeeet!

RobPetrified October 15, 2008 at 9:25 pm

[re=135181]Sire Says[/re]:
Nailed it with the Nancy Regan comment.
Smart move,’cause people like her better than Lara Bush.
At least Hopey got in a jab at FOX ‘news.’

RobPetrified October 15, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Apparently somebody told McCain to ease up on the “my friends.”

Leak Plugger October 15, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Well, this drinking game will cause death. Ayers and ACORN were mentioned SO SO SO many times.

Godot October 16, 2008 at 12:41 am

Squirrel drinking a Bud is a poor replacement for hottie on the toilet.

rmontcal October 16, 2008 at 8:29 am

[re=135181]Sire Says[/re]: Wow – what a good call!

McCain began his closing comment with “muhfrienz” kind of like how W says, “Inotherwords” really fast. I especially enjoy when the two things on either side of “Inotherwords” have nothing to do with each other.

Senhor Tambor October 16, 2008 at 3:30 pm

Re: The photo…

Mmmm…Old Style….I sure miss Chicago.

hakkaida October 17, 2008 at 11:22 pm

Jesus Christ, this is seriously getting to the point where it is absolutely not funny anymore. The Republicans are turning this into un-veiled race and partisan war. Acorn is some kind of criminal organization now? Why don’t they just come out and say that disenfranchised Americans are no longer allowed to vote.

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