everybody be careful!

Oh Noes, Nancy Reagan Fell Down!

Nancy and her first husband, Barack Hussein Obama Sr.Our nation’s beloved second wife of Ronald Reagan has fallen and hurt herself! This happened, er, last week. But it’s big news! The 87-year-old widow of America’s founding father has fractured her pelvis, and will stay in the hospital a few days, in Los Angeles, and then go home with a “reduced schedule” until she’s all healed up again in six weeks. She also fell down in February. Get well soon, Nancy! [Reuters]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  1. magic titty

    These ‘old peoples who forget to turn off the stove with their Life Alert buzzers’ stories can only make people wonder if Sarah Palin can be anywhere near Washington DC in the next 4 years if McDickish is elected. Not good for the Grand Ol Party.

  2. NoWireHangers

    Hopefully, she isn’t using that agent of Communism, Medicare, to address her fractured pelvis.

  3. El Topo

    [re=134503]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yes, and the Rocky Mountains are only 6 months older than her.

  4. magic titty

    Didn’t this happen on an episode of Maude? Was she playing guitar hero? Did she fall into the tank?

    I demand answers!

  5. Reefpilot

    It wasn’t really a fall. It was actually a surgery. They needed Nancy’s marrow and some abdominal tissue samples to complete the alchemical requirements to reanimate the gipper’s rotting carcass. Mitt Romney will carry the Frankenreagan on his shoulders, not unlike Hellboy with that Russian puppet corpse.

  6. Anonymous Office Zombie

    It was an event foretold by portents in the heavens. She should have been paying closer attention to her star charts.

  7. Tommy Says Soooo

    It’s Wonkette’s fault. Nancy was in a hurry to change her panties this morning and see what happened.

  8. petite brawnley

    Oh, she “fell,” did she? Poor Nancy couldn’t handle a good boot-knockin’ from Mr. “I pity the fool who fails her bone density test” T. Just look at the picture!

  9. Supernatural_Delegate

    John McCain has found a hotter, wealthier Former first lady to admire.

    … Laura Bush could not be reached for comment.

  10. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So, first it is Cheney and his “heart.” Now Nancy breaks one of the most well used and strong pelvises in existence. What’s next, Newt Gingrich’s’ ass exploding?

    This is either cover for McCain’s face falling off, or Conservatism in America is literally dying.

  11. magic titty

    [re=134539]Itsjustme[/re]: “George Manos, the 75-year-old Republican, told police that Edith Walker, the 73-year-old Democrat, jumped on his back and struck him in the head three to four times with her fists.”

    She’s a spry one.

  12. Advocatus_Diaboli

    Just say “no” to the pain killers, Nancy. Oh, and say “no” to the socialized medicine, too. While, you’re at it, just say no to keeping you alive you worthless piece of shit.

  13. Kingbee

    Is this one of those “fell down — broken pelvis” accidents like Catherine the Great was reputed to have?

  14. Scooter

    Well, you know Mommy, maybe if you would watch where you’re going instead of staring at me with that goofy smile all the time . . .

  15. procrastinator esq

    To be fair, it’s hard to keep from falling down when your head is ten times larger than your body, as Nancy’s is.

  16. WadISay

    Conservatives love these ponderous state funerals so much, I bet they have and early one for Nancy Reagan’s pelvis.

  17. Scooter

    One good thing about Nancy, she apparently gave Grampy McSame some serious stink-eye when he dumped #1, abandoned his kids and ran off with Cindzilla. Well, now that I think of it Nancy and Ronnie’s affair progressed on a similar track. Oh never mind, I can’t think of a good thing about Nancy. But get well anyway you old nut.

  18. masterdebater

    The first time in a long time that I can remember a story about a woman that didn’t have an “I’d do her” comment. This site is getting very cosmopolitan.

  19. Uncle Al

    The Kitty Kelly book said before Nancy married Ronnie, she was known as the blow-job queen of Hollywood.


  20. Scandalabra

    And whatever happened to the couturier Adolfo? Remember when she was the hag-du-jour? Was he sent to Gitmo?

  21. AnglRdr

    Lord knows I am not a Nancy Reagan fan, but I hope she heals well and quickly.

    Getting old is a bitch.

  22. JSDC007

    The widow Reagan, bless her heart, warmed all our frigid hearts by her uplifting Oscar-worthy performance at Ronnie’s funeral. And so we wish her the best in her recovery. May she dance again in an Adolfo gown and her old lady Manolos.

  23. dmac

    The only good thing about Nancy Reagan is that ‘Just Say No’ and the rest of her husband’s drug policies probably made them more available.

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