EVERYBODY BE CAREFUL!  2:13 pm October 15, 2008

Oh Noes, Nancy Reagan Fell Down!

by Ken Layne

Nancy and her first husband, Barack Hussein Obama Sr.Our nation’s beloved second wife of Ronald Reagan has fallen and hurt herself! This happened, er, last week. But it’s big news! The 87-year-old widow of America’s founding father has fractured her pelvis, and will stay in the hospital a few days, in Los Angeles, and then go home with a “reduced schedule” until she’s all healed up again in six weeks. She also fell down in February. Get well soon, Nancy! [Reuters]

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El Bombastico October 15, 2008 at 2:19 pm

Game changer.

spencer October 15, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Hopefully they send her home without any drugs.

jbd October 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Ken, I swear to god, you have the absolute awesomeist collection of random pictures of all time.

DangerousLiberal October 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Here comes the sympathy vote for Mommy. Shit. Is this the October surprise?

MD4Prez2032 October 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm

Looks like the market isn’t the only thing that’s falling….

magic titty October 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm

These ‘old peoples who forget to turn off the stove with their Life Alert buzzers’ stories can only make people wonder if Sarah Palin can be anywhere near Washington DC in the next 4 years if McDickish is elected. Not good for the Grand Ol Party.

WagTehGod October 15, 2008 at 2:22 pm

[re=134492]spencer[/re]: Just say no, Nancy!

shortsshortsshorts October 15, 2008 at 2:22 pm

Well she’s just 15 years old then Walnuts, so there ya go.

iwillsavethispatient October 15, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Awesome picture. Awesome Alt-Text. Kudos, Mr Layne, kudos!

NoWireHangers October 15, 2008 at 2:24 pm

Hopefully, she isn’t using that agent of Communism, Medicare, to address her fractured pelvis.

El Topo October 15, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=134503]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yes, and the Rocky Mountains are only 6 months older than her.

tunamelt October 15, 2008 at 2:25 pm

Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

Lucky for you, you had Life Alert!

tunamelt October 15, 2008 at 2:26 pm

[re=134503]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That is like one whole Hannah Montana.

magic titty October 15, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Didn’t this happen on an episode of Maude? Was she playing guitar hero? Did she fall into the tank?

I demand answers!

Reefpilot October 15, 2008 at 2:27 pm

It wasn’t really a fall. It was actually a surgery. They needed Nancy’s marrow and some abdominal tissue samples to complete the alchemical requirements to reanimate the gipper’s rotting carcass. Mitt Romney will carry the Frankenreagan on his shoulders, not unlike Hellboy with that Russian puppet corpse.

Anonymous Office Zombie October 15, 2008 at 2:28 pm

It was an event foretold by portents in the heavens. She should have been paying closer attention to her star charts.

Tommy Says Soooo October 15, 2008 at 2:29 pm

It’s Wonkette’s fault. Nancy was in a hurry to change her panties this morning and see what happened.

petite brawnley October 15, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Oh, she “fell,” did she? Poor Nancy couldn’t handle a good boot-knockin’ from Mr. “I pity the fool who fails her bone density test” T. Just look at the picture!

shortsshortsshorts October 15, 2008 at 2:33 pm

[re=134521]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: That thought is just nasty, sir.

Supernatural_Delegate October 15, 2008 at 2:37 pm

John McCain has found a hotter, wealthier Former first lady to admire.

… Laura Bush could not be reached for comment.

Itsjustme October 15, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Lionel Hutz Esq. October 15, 2008 at 2:39 pm

So, first it is Cheney and his “heart.” Now Nancy breaks one of the most well used and strong pelvises in existence. What’s next, Newt Gingrich’s’ ass exploding?

This is either cover for McCain’s face falling off, or Conservatism in America is literally dying.

magic titty October 15, 2008 at 2:46 pm

[re=134539]Itsjustme[/re]: “George Manos, the 75-year-old Republican, told police that Edith Walker, the 73-year-old Democrat, jumped on his back and struck him in the head three to four times with her fists.”

She’s a spry one.

gurukalehuru October 15, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=134539]Itsjustme[/re]: Edith Walker: American Hero

Advocatus_Diaboli October 15, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Just say “no” to the pain killers, Nancy. Oh, and say “no” to the socialized medicine, too. While, you’re at it, just say no to keeping you alive you worthless piece of shit.

Botswana Meat Commission FC October 15, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=134521]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]:
Oh my. Oh my.

Kingbee October 15, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Is this one of those “fell down — broken pelvis” accidents like Catherine the Great was reputed to have?

Scooter October 15, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Well, you know Mommy, maybe if you would watch where you’re going instead of staring at me with that goofy smile all the time . . .

procrastinator esq October 15, 2008 at 2:58 pm

To be fair, it’s hard to keep from falling down when your head is ten times larger than your body, as Nancy’s is.

facehead October 15, 2008 at 2:58 pm

[re=134510]tunamelt[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqmrVtXF4h8

WadISay October 15, 2008 at 2:59 pm

Conservatives love these ponderous state funerals so much, I bet they have and early one for Nancy Reagan’s pelvis.

bitchincamaro October 15, 2008 at 3:01 pm

What happened Nance, your soothsayer failed to predict this for ya’?

dmac October 15, 2008 at 3:09 pm

If Nancy Reagan ever falls in front of me and asks for help, I’m going to just say no.

Scooter October 15, 2008 at 3:12 pm

One good thing about Nancy, she apparently gave Grampy McSame some serious stink-eye when he dumped #1, abandoned his kids and ran off with Cindzilla. Well, now that I think of it Nancy and Ronnie’s affair progressed on a similar track. Oh never mind, I can’t think of a good thing about Nancy. But get well anyway you old nut.

masterdebater October 15, 2008 at 3:22 pm

The first time in a long time that I can remember a story about a woman that didn’t have an “I’d do her” comment. This site is getting very cosmopolitan.

Naked Bunny with a Whip October 15, 2008 at 3:27 pm

I suppose “Mr. T? I’d hit that!” just isn’t the same.

JohnnyMeatworth October 15, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=134651]masterdebater[/re]: That having been said, any Sun City Girls fans out there?


WadISay October 15, 2008 at 4:48 pm

What fool done gone an’ sit on my lap?

Uncle Al October 15, 2008 at 5:44 pm

The Kitty Kelly book said before Nancy married Ronnie, she was known as the blow-job queen of Hollywood.


Scandalabra October 15, 2008 at 5:52 pm

And whatever happened to the couturier Adolfo? Remember when she was the hag-du-jour? Was he sent to Gitmo?

AnglRdr October 15, 2008 at 6:02 pm

Lord knows I am not a Nancy Reagan fan, but I hope she heals well and quickly.

Getting old is a bitch.

JSDC007 October 15, 2008 at 6:17 pm

The widow Reagan, bless her heart, warmed all our frigid hearts by her uplifting Oscar-worthy performance at Ronnie’s funeral. And so we wish her the best in her recovery. May she dance again in an Adolfo gown and her old lady Manolos.

dmac October 15, 2008 at 7:26 pm

The only good thing about Nancy Reagan is that ‘Just Say No’ and the rest of her husband’s drug policies probably made them more available.

slinkimalinki October 15, 2008 at 9:32 pm

reduced schedule of what? binging and purging? being generally evil?

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