Ahghgh!Whoa, jesus, the Dow’s down 500 points, again. What’s the newest bad news for everybody? People have quit going to the stores, to buy stuff! There are many signs that your job will soon be gone, if you’ve still got a job! They’ve just shut down the markets in Brazil, after a 10% plunge! [Bloomberg]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • The Cold Sea

    Now is the perfect time to talk about Bill Ayers.

  • qwerty42

    time to stock up on gold Ameros, ammo and whiskey if you haven’t already. maybe some coffee too.

  • OrangeAlert

    at this rate we’ll soon replace eastern europe as the world’s #1 cheap gun and porn source. who knew sarah palin fetishism would be so prophetic.

  • qwerty42

    [re=134440]The Cold Sea[/re]: yeah heck. something to talk about as you burn your 401(k) statements to boil water.

  • magic titty

    I want a panic button!

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=134448]qwerty42[/re]: Screw that. I’m going directly to eating them.

  • InsidiousTuna

    Elitist liberal “gotcha” stock market, pandering to help the Democrat.

  • freakishlystrong

    It’s October- Surprise!

  • petite brawnley

    Things have been bad for me ever since I had to drop my Netflix account and settle for back-to-back episodes of Robert Stack’s Unsolved Mysteries on YouTube. And also those trippy sand-painting videos. How do they do it?

  • tunamelt

    [re=134450]magic titty[/re]: Don’t Panic!

    (I also have a towel in my purse.)

  • lumpenprole

    But the American workforce is so fundamentally strong!

  • Bypartizoa

    Brother, I can’t spare a dime.

  • natteringnaybob

    Why do stocks hate America.

  • WagTehGod

    [re=134450]magic titty[/re]: You could’ve bought mine on elitist eBay, I had to sell mine to pay the power bill.

  • S.Luggo
  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=134458]petite brawnley[/re]: I’ve watched Fahrenheit 9/11 6 times this week. Michael Moore is officially on my death-list.

  • El Bombastico

    Don’t worry, it will close up 300. Then down 700 tomorrow. Then up 1500 Friday. Then Monday all stockbrokers will commit ritual hari-kari. Then up 34 on Tuesday.

  • JadedDIssonance

    This is all cuz Lord Voldemort’s Ticker is off. It’s obviously displaying the wrong info.

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    The economy is still in the tank!

    Oh, wait. That’s not necessarily good…

  • NoWireHangers

    Well, it looks like it’s gonna be roasted squirrel for Thanksgiving.

  • iwillsavethispatient

    [re=134459]tunamelt[/re]: You’re a froody gal who knows where her towel is.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    I need to change my panties.

  • Miller

    Apparently some butterfly in the Serengeti is flapping its wings like a motherfucker. We need to assemble an elite team of Lepidopterists to go shut this troublesome pseudo-moth.

  • freakishlystrong

    Christmas shopping at the pawn’d shop..

  • pondscum

    So, I’m guessing my early Christmas shopping didn’t help… Damn. I tried!

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=134482]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: I can’t afford panties, I lathered and creamed my last pair this AM…

  • S.Luggo

    [re=134459]tunamelt[/re]: See ya at The Restaurant at The End of Universe. Should be a spectacular show and I’m buyin’ the first round of Old Milwaukee. — Zayphod.

  • TommySez

    The market’s falling harder than Nancy Reagan.

  • ManchuCandidate

    The Dow is experiencing wilder oscillations reminiscent of an out of control open feedback loop system much like what was seen in at a power plant in the Ukraine.

    Translation: See Chernobyl.

  • petite brawnley

    [re=134468]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: This baby vs. Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, and Anne Coulter. We win!

  • tunamelt

    [re=134468]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: What the hell is wrong with you?

    [re=134490]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=134478]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: NERDS!

  • The Cold Sea

    [re=134475]NoWireHangers[/re]: ¡¿Roasted?! Fry those suckers in the Turkey fryer. A little opossum gravy on the side…now we eatin!

  • magic titty

    [re=134466]WagTehGod[/re]: Drat. Well, can panic buttons be used as a floatation device? Or will we still have to settle for Lou Dobbs’ pockmarked ass?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=134500]tunamelt[/re]: The stock market is making me a masochist.

  • keepinitrealyo

    The Republicans are doing this, so they can blame it on Obama for the next four years.

  • qwerty42

    [re=134475]NoWireHangers[/re]: elitist!
    I’m planning on roadkill jerky

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    This is what happens when you let poor people handle money.

  • tunamelt

    [re=134515]qwerty42[/re]: My mom offered me an old crock pot and a dehydrator and I’m so mad I said no right now. I could be feasting on jerky and beans, but NO. All I have is my freaking rice cooker.

  • OffTheRecord

    Agh! Stop saying people have to stop buying things! My laptop dropped dead of old age yesterday and this is making it very hard to justify buying one of those new elitist macbooks.

  • Servo

    Why do investors act like they’ve been blind-sided? Are they truly that stupid?

  • donner_froh

    No need to panic. The only people who have to worry are those with jobs or those who depend on family members with jobs. Or those on pensions or who are planning to retire in the next couple of decades.

  • tunamelt

    [re=134523]OffTheRecord[/re]: They actually lowered the price of the cheapest Macbooks…

  • graceless

    [re=134459]tunamelt[/re]: So long, and thanks for all the fish… you so win!

  • graceless

    [re=134490]S.Luggo[/re]: I’ll be there. 42.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    That seals it. I’m going as the Dow for Halloween. It’s a sight more original than going as WALNUTS!, which would require some freshly shat pants as part of the costume.


    See. Obama up 14 points in the polls. Dow down 500. Cause and effect.*

    (* and keep your stinking elitists Latin phrases to yourselves.)

  • facehead


  • Rodney Badger

    Remember people, this is all the fault of poor darkies who bought Huge Mansions and then defaulted. And inept terrorist Bill Ayers.

  • TGY

    [re=134524]Servo[/re]: Yes. Think lemmings.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=134554]Rodney Badger[/re]: The latest weird bile I’ve seen, from a friend of mine who should know better, is that the recession is the fault of ACORN because that group somehow got mortgages for 5 million illegal immigrants who subsequently defaulted.


  • Kingbee

    [re=134523]OffTheRecord[/re]: I’m going to honor “Buy Nothing Day” (the day after Thanksgiving) for the first time this year. Not out of belief, however.

  • Servo

    More like nervous chihuahuas.

  • choinski

    Wednesday is slump day!

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=134531]graceless[/re]: Don’t forget your towel!

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=134444]OrangeAlert[/re]: Done! Was in a porn shop in Prague the other day and DVD’s were the equivalent of $ 70! America good!

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Where’s Osama slamming planes into downtown New York City when you *need* him?

  • TeddyS

    Thank the Lord that cute Sarah Palin will soon be elected to take charge of this complex global financial crisis. She can see her checkbook from her kitchen table.

  • slappypaddy

    And the worst news of all, the true heartbreaker, is that NASCAR may not be able to run complete fields in its races due to sponsorships having evaporated like puddles of gasoline under a Talladega summer sun. Oh, the humanity….

  • qwerty42

    [re=134579]President Beeblebrox[/re]: yeah, amazin’ … the whole financial structure of the US has been based on getting poor people into houses. little did anyone suspect they would then control the country. after the collapse, should we rebuild on something more solid? maybe we should work with the folks in Las Vegas?

  • S.Luggo

    [re=134669]slappypaddy[/re]: Not to be so worryful. Dwarf cage matches will continue to be broadcast during our economic crisis … except, because of loss of commercial sponsorship, they’ll be shown only on PBS, with color commentary by Bill Moyers.

    It’s all bread-and-circuses from here on out, dude.

  • natteringnaybob

    [re=134669]slappypaddy[/re]: Oh no. You mean I might have to find some other white noise to nap to on Sunday afternoons? There is no god.

  • Cape Clod

    [re=134490]S.Luggo[/re]: Old Milwaukee. Sheesh. Situations like these call for Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters.

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=134735]Cape Clod[/re]: Maybe the market is listening to Vogon poetry. It does seem to be trying to commit suicide.

  • zhubajie

    [re=134515]qwerty42[/re]: I think the competition for road kill and for space at the dumpsters is goigng to get very competitive.

    Zhu Bajie

Previous articleShe/He’s Back! La Pequeña Sarah Palin!
Next articleOh Noes, Nancy Reagan Fell Down!