• May 25, 2012
RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

October 14, 2008

Meet Baby Sarah McCain Palin

by Juli Weiner  

  • Use Obama’s math machine to calculate numbers ‘n such that relate to how many Saltines and cigarettes you can afford to steal, once you’re a hobo. [Ben Smith]
  • Some dude at a theoretical Obama rally may have called erratic lying warmonger John McCain a “liar” and a “warmonger.”  [Marc Ambinder]
  • Sarah Palin’s ex-brother-in-law, “Trooper” of Troopergate fame, used to run over wolves with his snowmobile and eat their entrails, for sport. And for laughs. [Daily Kos]
  • October Surprise! The stars of the tween veterinary hospital docu-drama Gossip Girl shot a teevee ad about how many trucker hats they own in honor of Barack Obama. [CNN Political Ticker]
  • Oh god someone named a newborn “Sarah McCain Palin.” This baby will never stop crying — nor should it. [Jonathan Martin]
  • Someone yelled “louder” at Palin during a speech. But the screeching of the wind blowing through her sad, empty head was deafening, so what’s a gal to do except to yell back that dammit, this person should respect America’s veterans. [Crooks and Liars]

{ 37 comments }

Tommy Says Soooo October 14, 2008 at 2:44 pm

I’m getting pretty tired of everyone ignoring our first black president, Justin Timberlake. And it’s been, like, FOUR days since I’ve seen the words “Nora O’Donnell” and “assplay” in a Wonkette post.

facehead October 14, 2008 at 2:47 pm

AWWWW, we made fun of that one already! Do we have to do it again?

http://wonkette.com/403480/wacky-sarah-palin-yells-at-her-own-fans#comments

obfuscator October 14, 2008 at 2:49 pm

I wish my parents hadn’t named me Dewey Ferraro-McGovern.

eoberhauser October 14, 2008 at 2:49 pm

Regarding Sarah sniping at her own supporters – the best part of the video is after Todd tells her that they’re just saying “louder” because they can’t hear her, she totally snaps at him – priceless!

Cape Clod October 14, 2008 at 2:50 pm

My son, James Perot Stockdale, refuses to even talk to me.

CivicHoliday October 14, 2008 at 2:50 pm

“A new father has secretly named his baby girl Sarah McCain Palin after the Republican ticket for president and vice president.

Mark Ciptak of Elizabethton put that name on the documents for the girl’s birth certificate, ignoring the name Ava Grace, which he and his wife had picked earlier.” (from WBIR – Knoxville TN website)

This man, come Friday, will no longer have a penis. His former wife will be using it as a coin purse.

obfuscator October 14, 2008 at 2:53 pm

[re=133310]CivicHoliday[/re]: Join me in pretending to be shocked that the proud father is from Tennessee.

monty October 14, 2008 at 2:54 pm

In other news Sarah “my uterus is the size of a home” Palin implored obama to call off his terrorist buddies Acorn. Asked what she thought of the troopergate findings she replied “troopergate?”

FMA October 14, 2008 at 2:56 pm

[re=133310]CivicHoliday[/re]: Not to be a nitpicker, but I believe you meant scrotum.

TGY October 14, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Ah, it’s the liars and the warmongers versus the traitors and the terrorists. I tell ya, it can’t get better than this, only it can, like, lots better.

Servo October 14, 2008 at 2:57 pm

That’s like asking a jet engine to be louder.

Tommy Says Soooo October 14, 2008 at 2:58 pm

re=133306]eoberhauser[/re]: Todd Palin is the Steadman of our times.[

Sara in the West October 14, 2008 at 2:59 pm

[re=133312]obfuscator[/re]: His wife will have no trouble getting fully custody of their daughter. Some Nashville song writer is already working on a catchy tune about this “wronged Moma.”

WonderWomyn October 14, 2008 at 2:59 pm

“She and Todd try to get Wooten selectively targeted for prosecution for illegally shooting a moose (on her sister’s unused permit), even though Sarah’s father butchered the moose himself, meaning that both her sister and father may both be legally liable.”

This is starting to remind me of the Bible or something. Thou shall not eat of lamb with calf and what not… Am I just a big city liberal if all this hunting talk is sounding confusing to me? I guess I just never knew dressing a moose could be so… political.

Sussemilch October 14, 2008 at 2:59 pm

The mother of baby McPalin was fine with the name.
http://www.geocities.com/nullacct/mcpalin.jpg

CivicHoliday October 14, 2008 at 2:59 pm

[re=133318]FMA[/re]: no no, the scrotum she will remove, stuff with cotton, and use as earmuffs. the penis she simply sewed shut at one end, like a small tube sock, but for nickles and dimes.

Joey Ratz October 14, 2008 at 3:00 pm

[re=133312]obfuscator[/re]: Sadly, my acting talents do not stetch that far, even over them intertubes.

ManchuCandidate October 14, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Flash Forward 18 years later:
“For your viewing pleasure at the Kitty Kat Gentleman’s Club! Sarah M. Palin!!!”

magic titty October 14, 2008 at 3:06 pm

[re=133310]CivicHoliday[/re]: What’s truly sad is Ava Grace is a very pretty name. What a pathetic fucking loser.

Capitol Hillbilly October 14, 2008 at 3:09 pm

ha ha, running over wolves in snowmobile, almost as fun as running over manatees with a jet ski!

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 14, 2008 at 3:11 pm

[re=133312]obfuscator[/re]: Now now, you have to be specific about these things. The proud parents are from Elizabethton, which is in far far East Tennessee. Up in those parts, living in a double wide is considered high society.

SayItWithWookies October 14, 2008 at 3:13 pm

Sarah McCain’s mommy told her daddy that if he pulls this stunt again, she’s taking little Lee Harvey Oswald, Ollie North Goldwater and Michelle Coulter Rove to Grandma’s place.

Doglessliberal October 14, 2008 at 3:15 pm

Love this comment from the Political Ticker item about the Gossip Girl commercial thing:

“wdunlap October 14th, 2008 11:07 am ET

You people make me sick. hollywood is disgusting depraved ignorant people that have neve even graduated from high school. I hate you pigs.”

wdunlap apparently knows whence he/she speaks re: graduation from high school and the illiteracy attendant thereto.

CooterMarie October 14, 2008 at 3:28 pm

We musn’t be outshined by the wingnuts and their sparkly patriotic names. I’m going to get knocked up IMMEDIATELY. I’m thinking “Terror-loving Terrorist Hussein Hussein Socialist Homosexual In-the-Tank Hussein Monkey Acorn”. Has a nice ring to it.

FMA October 14, 2008 at 3:33 pm

[re=133327]CivicHoliday[/re]: Thanks for the clarification. I stand corrected.

[re=133325]WonderWomyn[/re]: Don’t Republicans cross-dress moose?

PogueMahone October 14, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Ciptak, a blood bank employee for the American Red Cross, said he named his third child after John McCain and Sarah Palin to “to get the word out” about the campaign.

“I took one for the cause,” he said. “I can’t give a lot of financial support for the (McCain/Palin) campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard, but I can do very little.”

He can “do very little”. Well that’s obvious.

GaryGraves October 14, 2008 at 3:58 pm

Here’s the REAL Baby Palin!
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/dc2e3d02e0

TJBeck October 14, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Well maybe she’ll marry my nephew, Lloyd Dukakis Bentsen.

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 14, 2008 at 4:34 pm

[re=133361]Doglessliberal[/re]: I thought that commercial was pretty funny! Kids don’t let parents vote McCain.

Doglessliberal October 14, 2008 at 4:49 pm

[re=133500]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: ah, then you are clearly a “disgusting depraved ignorant people that have neve even graduated from high school”

ReelectTilden October 14, 2008 at 4:54 pm

In eighteen short years, some redneck will finally be able to bang Sarah Palin.

Actually, since this is Appalachia, let’s say thirteen years.

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 14, 2008 at 4:58 pm

[re=133524]Doglessliberal[/re]: I haz no brain. Me stoopid.

Rush October 14, 2008 at 5:15 pm

Anyone else want to be named “Rush”?

azw88 October 14, 2008 at 6:03 pm

OMFG! Let’s just fuck up a kid for the rest of their life from the get-go! This kid will in essence be called LOSER for the rest of her life! The only thing that could fuck up a kid more would be to name him after his father and grandfather and expect his sorry ass to follow in their footsteps!

LBOtomist October 14, 2008 at 6:49 pm

[re=133385]CooterMarie[/re]: I read that as a request (desperate plea) for volunteers for the whole get knocked-up part, so…um, I’d hit that. Er, for the sake of bringing such a beautifully named child into the world, of course.

Baldeagle79 October 14, 2008 at 8:38 pm

Libs, I hope you keep on hoping to change the way you hope for change over these next couple of weeks. http://offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com/2008/10/premature-evacuation.html

Texas2Step October 14, 2008 at 9:27 pm

[re=133334]ManchuCandidate[/re]: No, she’ll have a sex cam on YouTube or something.

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