One of the weirdest things to watch in American politics is how the wingnuts do these lockstep moves to some “what the hell are they even talking about?” fake outrage, and within hours there are millions of inane illiterate blog comments and chain emails and C-SPAN callers all prattling on about something nobody had any problem with and had never even heard of, say, last week. How does this happen? What is ACORN, anyway?
We were going to explore it, IN DEPTH, but instead noticed our comrade and former Wonkette editor Alex Pareene had already posted a perfectly good and accurate FAQ, so let’s talk to him about it, while simultaneously evading any actual long research/writing things today.
Basically, ACORN is a group that has advocated for terrorists — poor people, malnourished American schoolkids, etc. And one of the things this shadowy terrorist group does is try to register voters, because a lot of people who are struggling to simply survive are not bothering so much with following politics and getting to the polling place. And Republicans like it this way, because they’ve yet to figure out a way to convince certain groups of poor people (minorities) to vote for a party that is 100% against their interests and basic existence.
So, it’s easy to get the white bitters outraged because they don’t like poor minorities, either! This is some kind of elaborate class-war/race-war fakeout and it is effective at “motivating the base,” and is just one more reason why Democracy, as it is practiced in the United States, is just dumb, and needs to end. Anyway, also:
What are my talking points for when crazy relatives argue that ACORN stole the election?
What we’re dealing with so far is minor voter registration fraud. The questionable registrations number in the double digits in most states, and most of them have been flagged and caught by either ACORN themselves or election officials. Furthermore in many places the false registrations are required by law to be submitted anyway, so that ACORN isn’t guilty of, say, tossing out the forms of Republicans they sign up. They do try to flag the fake ones as fake, but regardless, the fake ones are still being caught. Also: voter registration fraud does not coherently lead to voter fraud, because if you register one man 75 times, how will he vote 75 times, exactly?
More importantly, the election can’t be stolen if it hasn’t happened yet, and voter registration fraud does not explain in any way a double digit lead for a candidate in national tracking polls. Like, wtf, how are you making this argument, are you slow? ACORN registering Mickey Mouse is why Barack Obama is up 12 in Pennsylvania? Ok, sure, whatever you say.
10:50 AM me: That ACORN thing you wrote is very good! Maybe I will just paste the whole thing into wonkette so I don’t have to write it. (Or I could “hot link” to yrs, I guess.)
Alex: haha yes why not
thank you, i have i feeling we will all be rewriting it over and over again for four years
10:52 AM me: forever. i wish james baker or somebody would just do a coup and we could stop doing all this.
i can’t be the only one reading this bill ayers stuff and thinking, “GODDAMN, those were crazy times, wish I’d blown up the Pentagon!”
Alex: haha I KNOW
me: instead we have to solemnly shake our heads, with dignity, and repudiate everything fun.
10:54 AM Alex: i mean honestly they were way more successful at blowing themselves up in their fancy west village apartment than they were at killing pigs or whatever but STILL i don’t want to live in a country where it is “bad” to want to destroy the pentagon
10:55 AM me: Bin Laden is a dick … after all we did for him, in the ’80s!
10:57 AM Alex: http://imagebot.org/debate.jpg
me: !
Alex: now forward that to michelle malkin
10:58 AM me: Yes, right away. We’re all in this together, after all.
Wait, What’s Up With ACORN? [Gawker]
{ 57 comments }
How dare the Democrats steal the election by registering people like that to vote — you know, poor people or black people!
Isn’t that illegal anyway?
The best way to argue with angry Republican relatives? Stop seeing them.
Katherine Harris…on a much grander scale.
That vay jay joke was phunny!!
I’m so insulted by all of this!
I love the photo of Terrormouse! Can he vote in Florida too?
Please explain in pictograph form, preferably using beloved characters from the Bible.
This is why we have to vote for McCain/Palin. With enough strict constructionists on the Supreme Court, they’ll be able to eliminate this problem — by returning the franchise exclusively to white male landowners. In the name of the Senate and the People of Ro– uh, USA! USA!
From a little voter fraud a mighty election grows.
Just kidding. Grampy’s just upset he didn’t think of it first.
Good organizations always fuck up sometimes. That doesn’t mean the organization went bad, it just means it has a problem that needs to be adressed and it will be better next time. Oh wait, no, the ReThugs would argue that the org IS bad and that we should drown it in a bathtub, like government. All for one and none for all! Guns for everyone!
BUT WAIT!!!!! I AM SO CONFUSED!!!!! yesterday I saw a picture on Daily Kos (linked from Wonkette, so it doubly must be fer reel) of John McCain at a dinner thing sponsered by this evil ACORN!!!!! I AM SO CONFUSED!!!! WHY WOULD A FER REEL WAR HERO BE EATING WITH TERRORISTS???!!!?? IT WAS IN 2006, SO MAYBE HE WAS LAUNCHING HIS POLITICAL CAREER!!!! WITH TERRORISTS!!!!! MAYBE HE SEES AMERICA DIFFERENT THAN YOU AND ME!!!!! Does Sarah know?
I believe this is called ‘Grasping at straws’.
Well I guess freakin’ COMMUNITY ORGANIZERS have a leeeeetle bit more power than small town mayors if’n they’re stealing national elections.
Sorry about the caps, I’m sympathy-ovulating.
So like ACORN gets people both real and imaginary registered to like vote, then like the GOP secretary of states like get all of them and a whole bunch more like unregistered to vote.
Kinda like whats the big deal? Are like the GOP guys like upset that ACORN guys might like be doing more registering this year than they are doing like un-registering?
Or did like Mickey Mouse go communist this time around with those red pants and all.
Finally! I’ve been wondering this for days now.
I love Alex’s bit about Rethugs trying to undermine the democratic process through, shudder, voter registration drives. Oh NOES! They be stealin mah deemocrazees!
The GOP always cites voter fraud as a justification for suppression of veter registration but voter fraud is usually caught before a vote is counted even if someone is fraudulently registered. The GOP efforts are a poll tax by another name.
This doesn’t mean that ACORN should get government funding and funding from Obama however. There is fraud going on in that people are getting money for fraudulent registrations with no oversight, it just isn’t something that changes the vote totals on election night.
So let me get this straight…because of ACORN they’ll let anyone vote provided they are a US citizen and over the age of 18? This used to be a great country. Personally I blame the commie bastards who let the Irish start voting in the nineteenth century. Then the Italians and Jews wanted to vote. Then the Poles and Russians. Then the women. Then the blacks. Then the gays. It’s like I’m a white Anglo-Saxon protestant whose family came over on the Mayflower (or some such boat) before the Salem Witch Trials and now I’m the minority? Life is so unfair.
[re=133291]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Uh, dammit. Rethugs complaining that ACORN is trying to undermine… Sorry, Rethugs stolz mah brainz.
What’s the big deal? Can’t those Diebold geniuses figure out a way to purge all the Acorn voters’ votes? Or just, say, all the black people?
Yeah, people are really scared of the Acorns. I was out canvassing with my sister last weekend, and some scared old man in a dirty white tee-shirt answered his door, peaked out, and whispered “Are you from Acorn?” before he slammed the door. Good times.
Here’s video of McCain at an ACORN Rally:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJ9wy2MI1NI
McCain is committing voter fraud to suppress the white man. His associations are despicable.
Racist motherfucker.
I’ve found you can’t, (and shouldn’t, because it causes irreversible damage), argue with a rightywingynutjobthingee, all they do is shout the talking point over and over again, there’s absolutly no discourse. See: Joe Scarborourgh.
It’s pretty hilarious that these wingnut losers get upset when they hear there’s someone registered under the name Mickey Mouse. Do they actually think someone named Mickey Mouse will get the opportunity to vote?
Fucking retards.
[re=133281]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Grandpa Rethug is too busy seeing what he can copy from Obama’s Economic plan.
[re=133307]magic titty[/re]: Amen! What about people named Track or Trig? Those simply can’t be real names.
Before this I was thinking ACORN was an exchange program between rural and inner city squirrels.
Wait, that’s the Jihad Mouse whatsisface.
[re=133283]2goats[/re]: But, see, McCain is white. And wealthy. And doesn’t need silly things like housing subsidies or Head Start or meals at school. That makes it OK. If you are Negroez, you are a terrorist or a Muslin or both, and you clearly are trying to commit voter fraud by getting people to vote. So it is OK. Right?
Um, OK, I am confused, too.
This shit wouldn’t happen if we were all automatically registered to vote, like they do in real countries. Hell, even Iraq has figured out how to avoid voter fraud — IRAQ!
[re=133320]facehead[/re]: well, see that’s the problem. We cannot have those inner city squirrels tainting those pure, real-Ammurican, rural squirrels with their thuggish ways.
UGG..and the Rethugs fail to mention the last two elections, which they stole, then, they’d have to trot out the dreaded “Blame Game”…ie: It’s ok it you’re a Republican!
Thank you for the awesomeness of this article
I shall be printing it out and /or forwarding it to all of the idiots that live in my community –
including the closet GOP member that I share a bed with
Lou Dobbs got him all worked up last night over ACORN and so now
I can safely assume that once that arab wins the election and begins his reign of terror
that i will never hear the end of THEY STOLE THE ELECTION – WHAT ABOUT ACORN!!!
WHAT ABOUT THE VOTER FRAUD!!!!
I wonder how many people will end up on the road to divorce by November 4th?
I’m not looking forward to single life again . . .
P.S. Wonkette did you hear your shout out on CNN last night?
ACORN is a group that has advocated for terrorists — poor people, malnourished American schoolkids, etc.
Finally, a reason to hate starving kids that doesn’t involve Sally Struthers!
[re=133300]Dernyul[/re]: Did you hear the names of all those other commie front groups? Like People for the American Way and the SEIU (Soviets Endure in the Unitedstates)? Key-rist, that McCain is a risky one.
OH MY FUCKING GOD THAT DEBATE PHOTOSHOP IS TEN MILLION CARGO SHIPS FULL OF WIN!!!!!!
[re=133417]Rodney Badger[/re]: and dirty bombs that will not be found because nobody fucking searches cargo ships/containers.
[re=133337]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Yes, Iraq knows how to do it right. That is what we need–purple fingers!!! Then Mickey Mouse will get to vote less because he has fewer fingers.
I blew up an acorn in my microwave and was confronted by two squirrels in dark glasses and McCain buttons. They called me a liberal, squirrel hating, terrorist scum. I’m concerned.
But wait a minute… Didn’t we all learn here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIgv992NZs0 that Obama developed ACORN and that it propagated housing for low income people in the Chicago area, therefore was probably responsible for our economic crisis? And now you are telling me that it’s about VOTER FRAUD and Mickey Mouse? Oh, my tiny little lady-brain can’t make heads or tails of it. I’m just going to assume that they are a terrorist organization trying to destroy Disneyland and all the things I hold dear until I hear otherwise. It’s the only patriotic thing to do.
Republicans don’t have these problems because they change the names of their advocacy groups on a regular basis.
i would just like to point out that there’s a lot of people shaking their heads, with dignity.
this is not the american way and makes me sad for my country.
Africans Can Operate Registration Nobbles. Clearly a cause for moral indigdigdigg-nationality.
This ACORN fiasco proves Obama’s nuts.
He also suffers from premature evacuation syndrom.
http://offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com/2008/10/premature-evacuation.html
In Republican world, each minority vote should only count for 3/5 of a white vote.
[re=133684]Baldeagle79[/re]: re: “This ACORN fiasco proves Obama’s nuts.” . Thank you, Baldeagle. Up til now, I have worried that Obama’s nuts might be wonderful, however perhaps imaginary. Wondering what scientfic tests you have done to prove your theory. Have you seen them up close?
ACORN! WALNUTS! What’s happened to this country. Nothing but nut jobs/stories. Thanks Wonkette for having someone somewhere explain all this crap. This is one of those things (like QWERTY donating 50 bucks to Obama, which ran in the weekend news cycle) this kind of gets caught in the news filter, but never fully examined. As to the fake Obama donations, I figure they are from Re-thug operatives.
I want a fair and accurate count of the votes. (read that in an Al Gorebot voice)
http://www.offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com
[re=133706]CooterMarie[/re]:
No, I haven’t personally seen them, but Jesse Jackson keeps them in a jar up on top of his refridgerator.
http://www.offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com
I hear ACORN stands for “African Communists Opposed to our Righteous Nation”
Can anyone forward me an e-mail confirming this as fact, as such e-mails invariably do?
I don’t know what Acorn is, but I know that’s Hamas Mouse!! Yay Hamas Mouse! H-A-M-A-S M-O-U-S-E!!!!
come on guys! Its not fair of us to rest on our laurels, the reality we face doesnt have to continue. If we learn anything from uncoversince scandal and deciet is that we need to be courageous, and strong, and stand up for what we believe in… a representative government, not one that is dominated by fear and lies. This book Im reading right now is just the quick read everyone needs to make things clear. Check out the 1984 classic’s sequel : America 2014: an Orwellian Tale, you really wont regret the amount of enlightenment…. http://www.america2014.com
[re=133267]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: That’s one reason I live in China. Another: I can always find a job teaching English (as opposed to my crummy parking lot attendant job in the USA.
Zhu Bajie
“So, it’s easy to get the white bitters outraged because they don’t like poor minorities, either!” This has been going on since the early 1600s. Poor Whites won’t co-operate with poor Blacks, American Indians, immigrants, Hispanics, etc., because the better off Whites tell them “your one of us! Co-operate with us, and you’ll benefit!” Or as the classic Red-neck saying went “I may not amount to sh*t but I’m still better than a n*igger!” Lots of Hispanics, Native Americans, Blacks, etc., wallow in similar kinds of false superiority.
Zhu Bajie
[re=133307]magic titty[/re]: A friend of mine always votes for Donald Duck!
Zhu Bajie
You know, back in the day when only white property owning men could vote, this never happen.
And now I know that Alex and Ken are both in the tank for the terrorist. The horror, the horror.
Still, it does amaze me how the only way you can make someone like Ayers the embodiment of evil, and compare him to bin Laden is by ignoring even the most simplistic of the moral complexities that were the late sixties and early seventies.
The Weathermen, like most extremist, hurt their cause more than helped it. Of course, that was thirty years ago, so obviously Obama is secret Muslim who wants to kill us all.
See this is what Orwell never understood about the totolitarian thing. It’s not the evil old men hiding in backrooms that make the public love their government. It’s the Cool Kids! Oh yeah, double digit numbers… sure if a digit is 100,000 votes, then yeah in ohio it’s only double digits. Do the math, if bush/kerry were seperated by 40,000 votes, or even 60k, in ohio then 200,000 extra votes for Obama rules the day. The real question is, if he won using fraudulent votes, like Kennedy may have in 1960 with the Illinois zombie vote, well, would you be happy? If so then Orwell had it wrong.
Wait there’s more.
Oh polls. I love it when they use the polls to prove who should win! Yep, 10% in the polls sounds great for Obama. Maybe it’s right this time. But if the error in the polls is only +/- 3 %, why were the polls all off by 10% 4 years ago. Well, it’s because the error is really +/- 10%. At least.
What’s next, printing early exit polls of women and minorities in Manhatten so the Party can declare victory by lunchtime? That worked so well 4 years ago didn’t it?
For an election that’s about change, this place sure sounds the same.
[re=133504]CooterMarie[/re]: Your “tiny little lady-brain can’t make heads or tails”? Welcome back to reality: Poor you!
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