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Black Monday.
The Dow Jones Index rose 936 points as Obama’s lead solidified. (The Dow did this in 1929, too, but don’t tell the New York Post!)
An Obama Panic: Markets Feat His Policies [New York Post]

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  • MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend

    These twatwaffles don’t know fuck all about anything.

  • slappypaddy

    The G forces are overwhelming. Wall Street has the best roller-coaster in the lower 48. My nose is bleeding and my lunch is in my lap.

  • Cathangover

    The markets are just mad he keeps playing that tiny violin.

  • rambone

    Sweet! Guess I can go back to voting for McCain and fire the old credit cards back up.

    Happy days are here again . . .

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    By Charles Gaspingatstraws AKA douchebag.

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    So the NY Post isn’t in the tank? Doesn’t it feel lonely?

  • StripesAndPlaids

    I am Lord Hopey. Fear my policies or you shall reap the capital gains tax.

  • ShaqsDong

    For this good news to jive with your “Hobos of the Great Depression” meme, you should have posted a picture of the Monopoly Man tossing money in the air.

  • naveed

    OMAGIC

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    Hey, Ken: typo in altext link to the NY Post article. “Feat” is sort of the opposite of “Fear.” A humorous one, but still a typo. Thanks for the funny!

  • Neon Trotsky

    The Dow Jones Industrial Average is in the tank! Damn liberal socialist stock exchanges…

  • estevancarlos@gmail.com

    This seems like actual news reporting not obnoxious, amusing, commentary. What gives?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Did Charles Gasparino happen to note the Dow was up 900 today? Or are facts secondary to putting out shit?

  • TGY

    Thanks, Rupert Murdoch, for making us laugh at your outrageous rags yet again. You cocksucker! I hope the market busts you.

  • Texas2Step

    [re=132324]rambone[/re]: I guess FalseNews network will say the stock market’s in the tank for McCain now…

  • nurple

    Posted at 4AM. This guy should have had that Google drunk emailing thingie.

  • Miller
  • Gopherit v2.0

    It’s nice to see the Post taking it’s cues from the McCain campaign. You never look stupid doing that.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Why is reality hell-bent on making the folks at the NY Post look like idiots?

    Also — when is capitalism going to thank socialism for saving its ass?

  • StrangelyBrown

    Dear New York Post:

    You can wish in one hand and crap in the other, but neither one of those can be called “journalism”.

  • Truculent

    Tuesday’s Headline: “McCain Still Breathing. Market Rallies”

  • azw88

    AAAAHHHH the scary Black man is winning!! The scary Black man is winning!!! Sell, Sell.. Oh, he’s beating the grumpy old dude.. BUY BUY BUY

  • Condiments-Only Diet

    I love the sound of a dead cat bouncing.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=132338]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: That is no typo. There is nothing worse than when the Market feats something.

    Ooops. That’s a banning.

  • Baldeagle79

    I watched a liberal CNN commentator lament recently that President spoke and the DOW dropped 300 points (he said 500 first, and then was corrected by Lou Dobbs). Then today President Bush speaks, and the DOW has a record gain. What’s the deal? Did the liberals finally learn the difference between correlation and causation overnight?

    http://www.offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    This is the day where I finally felt panic in the ranks of the Republicans. They were sure Bill Ayers would be their silver bullet, and it failed. Now we are blaming Obama for the market because apparently despite all the problems in the market, the only reason any trader is selling is because Obama is an uppity Negro.

    By tomorrow, Sean Hannity will be proclaiming that Obama came up with New Coke, while Tucker Bounds will state that Obama is not qualified to be president because he was running around helping a terrorist when he was eight, while John McCain was in prison for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!

  • Baldeagle79

    My comment didn’t post earlier. Interesting.

    I saw a CNN commentator lament that the market suffered a 300 point drop when Bush spoke recently. Today Bush spoke and the market had nearly a 1,000 point gain. No commentators!

    Did Democrats suddenly learn the difference between causation and correlation?

    http://www.offeringcommonsense.blogspot.com

  • rambone

    [re=132411]Baldeagle79[/re]: Hey Baldy, your comments was posted. You just gotta be a little more patient. Try waiting as long as we’ve been waiting for W to stop destroying the country.

    P.S. Why is your name Baldeagle79, but your avatar a wrinkled old prune?

  • Truculent

    Alternate Headline for Tuesday: “Bush Shuts Up. Market Surges With Relief”

  • Chuckie Jesus

    Obama is shown here playing the world’s smallest violin, for the McCain campaign.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=132411]Baldeagle79[/re]: Your comment posted twice within the space of two minutes. Interesting.

    Who’s that old wrinkly guy in your avatar? I heard tell he was once a Republican hero or something like that.

  • Hairy Reed

    [re=132426]rambone[/re]: [re=132436]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Too many wrinkle-related comments in a three minute period.

  • Nathalie08

    What the hell is wrong with Lou Dobb?

  • nurple

    Beeb: Wrinkly Old Man was an Irish Catholic Democrat name of Reagan (pronounced “REEGAN”) who, according to the New York Post, tried to join the Communist Party USA in the 30s but was turned down for being “unreliable”. He was eaten by a Protestant Californian named Reagan (pronounced “RAYGUN”) in the late 50s, who used the former’s life force to become Governor of California.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    “All America turns to the NY Post for its stock market advice.”– P.T. Barnum

  • donner_froh

    Chose your favorite stock market animal. Any of them will kill yo’ portfolio dead.

    Bull Trap–A false signal indicating that a declining trend in the market has reversed and is heading upwards

    Dead Cat Bounce–A temporary recovery from a prolonged decline or bear market, after which the market continues to fall.

    Bear Market Rally–bear market rallies occurred in the Dow Jones index after the 1929 stock market crash leading down to the market bottom in 1932. Bear market rallies typically begin suddenly and are often short-lived because it occurs within a primarily downtrending bear market.

  • donner_froh

    [re=132452]nurple[/re]: unreliable?

    I guess it was just an urban legend among the old time Communist Party organizers in Chicago that he was turned down for being “stupid”.

  • President Beeblebrox

    Walnuts! can still pull this one out, according to Walter Shapiro…

    http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2008/10/13/obama/

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=132452]nurple[/re]: Oh yeah, that guy! I remember him.

    Isn’t he the same one who said that Medicare was, like, a harbinger of a Socialist takeover?

  • keepinitrealyo

    To be fair to the Post, the item has a 4:09am byline – you’d have been pretty nutty to predict a stock rebound today. Or any day for the next five years.

  • Neon Trotsky

    [re=132436]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Naw, he’s just another Hollywood B-list actor. He was pretty good in Bedtime for Bonzo, though…

  • Fred Wertham Jr.

    Charlie Gasparino is not only an asshole; he’s an idiot. The Dow futures were up over 300 points when he posted that.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    [re=132464]President Beeblebrox[/re]: The guys at fivethirtyeight might disagree.

    http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/

  • tonehedge

    The gain in the markets around the world and wall street is not reflective of the actual economic situation in the US and around the world. There’s only so much that a government can do to prop up the weakened global financial system.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=132503]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Oh, I know, and it’s lovely. I’m really amused by the pundits like Shapiro who are trying to come up with a “Dewey Defeats Truman” narrative for Walnuts! in the long dark night of his soul.

  • snig

    And global warming has gotten worse since he’s been a senator, and more people have died in Iraq, and America is less respected abroad. Wow, MSM has really been asleep at the wheel on this.

  • smellyal8r

    Rupert’s decided he’s done dancing with the Democrats (since known guaranteed news Vesuvius HRC got knocked out of the primaries). It’s back to what he knows best…GOP clap trap. Who’d run a headline like that on a Monday? Saturday’s paper sure.

  • CivicHoliday

    [re=132402]Baldeagle79[/re]: I smell a banning…or maybe that’s just Sarah burning Harry Potter books…

  • rocktonsammy

    last week reminded me of my honeymoon, begging for sex and a ledge.

  • DangerousLiberal

    [re=132411]Baldeagle79[/re]: Hey, we heard you the first time, grandpa. Oh, and please tell us how Ronald Reagan won the cold war while rainbows filled the air, and pure silk streamed from Ollie North’s ass, ok? Maybe when Barry Hussein gets elected, we’ll “repurpose” Gitmo, if you get my drift…

  • wade williams

    we need a few more obama panics like we had today….gobama!!

  • Special Agent Jack Mehoff

    That photo on the Post copy looks like Hopey is guesstimating the length of WALNUTS! dick.

  • Special Agent Jack Mehoff

    [re=132411]Baldeagle79[/re]: You’re an impatient little lady aren’t you? Just breathe, you’ll have 8 years to complain about how democrats run things.

  • DangerousLiberal

    [re=132557]Special Agent Jack Mehoff[/re]: Looks like he might be a bit generous, by a factor of two or so. That’s not leadership I can trust.

    (BTW, Wonkette Overlords, isn’t it time to use the “That’s Not Racial Transcendence” animated GIF again for something? The wife and I miss it, and it might work with some of the cultural descendants of Sen Allen, who’ve totally gone off their meds the last 24 hours).

  • azw88

    [re=132472]Neon Trotsky[/re]: So, it was BONZO at the McCain-Palin rally!!! See, the guy wasn’t a racist!!! He was just saying that Reagan’s former co-star supports Obama!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    THE MARKET NEEDS TO FEED. YOU MUST FEED THE MARKET. BUY MORE NOW.

  • gliberal

    The Post is one subatomic particle removed from the Midnight Tattler, home of cabbage head Jesus and penis-shaped UFOs.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    When your interwebs is down and you miss a day of journalism, you very apparently don’t miss a day, at all.

  • Scooter

    In September 2000 there was a little bump in Gore’s poll numbers on a day when the Dow had a serious dip and that CNBC comb-over-economic-terrorist Kudlow blamed it on the prospect of a Dem in the White House. Of course the Lar had just lived thru one of the greatest bull markets in history under Clinton, but NOOOOOOOO, all the sudden the traders were supposedly on the run because Whistleass wasn’t gonna win.

    Well you know the history and here we are 8 years later BELOW where we were on that date. So eff you all you effing Repugs and your effing lies. And Kudlow continues to spew his shite everyday on the tube when he’s been wrong about everything every step of the way.

  • dilhavarti

    To Baldy: I thought the reason the market bounced back was because the countries with major markets agreed to not let a single bank fail, no matter what it costs. So pull out your pipe, there plenty of crack for you to smoke while you wait for your Mom’s internet connection to come back up.

  • SwanSwanH

    The Post should stick to the ponies… and props to the handicappers in the second race at Belmont today.

  • S.Luggo

    NY Post: “Dow up 900. Markets Fooled by That One’s Policies. Beelzebub Rules.”

  • Sabre_Justice

    OK, now this guy just needs to walk on oil and feed a million men with only one Happy Meal.

  • Mary Brighton

    HOW TO WRECK THE ECONOMY
    By Arun Gupta. Illustrations By Frank Reynoso
    October 3, 2008 – THE INDYPENDENT

    Everything you ever wanted to know about the biggest economic meltdown since the Great Depression but were afraid to ask. A guide to the financial meltdown is also illustrated through a click-through slideshow presentation.

    “From 1982 to 2000, the U.S. stock market went on the longest bull run ever, as share prices rose to dizzying heights. In the late 1990s, a combination of factors, which included the Federal Reserve lowering interest rates, created a huge price bubble in Internet stocks. A speculative bubble occurs when price far outstrips the fundamental worth of the asset. Bubbles have occurred in everything from real estate, stocks and railroads to tulips, beanie babies and comic books. As with all bubbles, it took more and more money to make a return*. This led to the Internet bubble popping in March 2000.”

    To read the entire article and see the slideshow, visit:
    http://www.indypendent.org/2008/10/02/how-to-wreck-the-economy

    GAMBLING ECONOMY GOES BUST
    The United States has faced one economic crisis after another this year — from the foreclosure of millions of homeowners to soaring food and fuel prices to the implosion of the credit markets and Wall Street’s demand for a $700 billion bailout. Throughout it all, The Indypendent newspaper in New York City has dug deeper to explain what is going on and why.

    To review a complete list of Indypendent articles on the economy in the last year, visit:
    http://www.indypendent.org/2008/09/25/gambling-economy-goes-bust/

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