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BURNOUTS

Hitchens, Like Everyone Else, Endorses Obama

Maybe start smoking again?You can almost hear his melodious English grumble as he fusses with his morning oatmeal and coffee, and finds the wine-stained post-it note stuck haphazardly on his laptop screen: “OBAMA ENDORSE, SLATE.” Well, then, let’s get on with it — before some clumsy mental midget like Jonah Goldberg beats you to it, old salt. Christ knows all the big names have already done so ….

But how to endorse without an endorsement, per se? How many times have you written fondly of the many Georgetown dinner parties where McCain has held court, the gales of inebriated laughter following the maverick’s rape jokes, the wit and wisdom of Washington’s favorite dinner-party host? And now, egads, you have to write him off as senile? Well, he’ll be dead soon enough, anyway — no need mourning dinner parties that will never even happen!

Oh to hell with it, let the Slate copyboys put the “Vote For Obama” in the headline. Time for lunch!

Vote For Obama [Slate]
UPDATE, BREAKING: Make sure to read all the way to the bottom of this post.


2:30 PM on Mon October 13 2008
By Ken Layne
9511 Views

  1. SuperRounder says at 2:34 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Crotchety Old Drunks for Obama!

  2. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 2:35 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Okay, I have to ask. Was Hitchens indulging in a Cleveland Steamer, only the other person misjudged the trajectory? ‘Cuz, ew.

  3. obfuscator says at 2:35 pm, October 13th, 2008

    If Hitch and Kristol are in the tank, I want out.

  4. SayItWithWookies says at 2:36 pm, October 13th, 2008

    And by “oatmeal” you mean whiskey, right?

    Also — McCain has more than one rape joke? Where is that marvellous alternate rape joke?

  5. V572625694 says at 2:37 pm, October 13th, 2008

    That pic of Hitch is pure Blingee fodder

  6. Tommy Says Soooo says at 2:37 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! He’s going to try and crash all the DC parties when Hopey wins. I hope the Rev. Jeremiah kicks his honky ass. Just like all the libtards on Daily Kos, Hitchens will give Hopey approximately two weeks after the election before he starts shitting on him. And that’s as President-elect, before Jan. 20th. Once Hopey announces his Secretary of State, he’s toast.

  7. Obama must have sent over a pallet of Old Grandad

  8. obfuscator says at 2:38 pm, October 13th, 2008

    queeraselvis v 2.0: Maybe the photo is evidence of some blowback from a Rusty Trombone.

    /so gross

  9. Voyou Charmant says at 2:39 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Am I the only one that somehow loves Hitchens as much as I hate him?

  10. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 2:39 pm, October 13th, 2008

    We really should stop running that pic of him above where he’s being waterboarded…

  11. CivicHoliday says at 2:41 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Gay ex-pat athiests for Obama!

  12. Gopherit v2.0 says at 2:42 pm, October 13th, 2008

    obfuscator: Or at least add some chlorine.

    And if one of them poops, they’re out!

  13. regisgoat says at 2:42 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Now, now, “tackle the ball, not the man.”
    Sheeeit.

  14. Gopherit v2.0 says at 2:43 pm, October 13th, 2008

    V572625694: Shhhhh! I’ve never taken any anti-seizure meds and don’t want to start them.

  15. Worlds End says at 2:43 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Voyou Charmant: No i also enjoy Hitchens, more so because i agree with his views on religion.

  16. Gopherit v2.0 says at 2:44 pm, October 13th, 2008

    That pic looks like Hitchen’s hocked the tar out of his lungs onto his face.

  17. effinHel says at 2:44 pm, October 13th, 2008

    I wasn’t clear on that what is Hitch trying to say there?

  18. queeraselvis v 2.0: No, that is just a Dirty Sanchez gone horribly wrong

  19. Undeterredbyreality says at 2:46 pm, October 13th, 2008

    But you have to admit, he has a nice way of summing things up:

    “With McCain, the “experience” is subject to sharply diminishing returns, as is the rest of him, and with Palin the very word itself is a sick joke. One only wishes that the election could be over now and a proper and dignified verdict rendered, so as to spare democracy and civility the degradation to which they look like being subjected in the remaining days of a low, dishonest campaign.”

  20. patrickman says at 2:47 pm, October 13th, 2008

    He doesn’t know where his shoes are.

  21. freakishlystrong says at 2:51 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Man, The Tanktm is about to get very rank…

  22. floraway says at 2:51 pm, October 13th, 2008

    I guess this means that he has forgiven Michelle for her senior thesis? Or is he supporting Obama despite Michelle insulting him with a paper she wrote 20 years ago?

  23. V572625694 says at 2:59 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Worlds End: Second that. It is fun when Hitch wales on Jeebus or Moe-hommid. He had a great column a while back about how Zoroastrans are all hypocrites.

  24. Spirochete says at 3:00 pm, October 13th, 2008

    IT’S NOT OATMEAL! IT’S PORRIDGE, YOU BLOODY YANKS!

    Sheesh.

  25. Tommy Says Soooo says at 3:01 pm, October 13th, 2008

    azw88: Win. Puke-inducing, but win.

  26. What an aptly descriptive photograph of the sweaty, nicotine-drenched Hitchens. I hate those self-loathing Brits, the ones who maintain their English shobbery while they move over here where their fancy English accent can earn them way more money than they can make back home.

    What I love best is when he and Andrew Sullivan pontificate about American politics. And how cool they are for being Republicans.

    Know-it-all limey snobs. Let ‘em live in a trailer, here in the Heartland, if they really want to be one of us.

    Now I sound like a bitter, sorta’. If Bitters knew who Hitchens and Sullivan are.

  27. OzoneTom says at 3:03 pm, October 13th, 2008

    obfuscator, azw88:
    OMG, a Wonketeer posted the Urban Dictionary link earlier and it’s this weeks Blingee, now infecting even the prestigious Wikipedia.
    Oh well, the resultant insinuations couldn’t be targeted to a more deserving curmudgeon.

  28. Has little Andy Sullivan had an orgasm yet over this news?

  29. sarcasticusername says at 3:08 pm, October 13th, 2008

    hmm i thought barry already had the christian hating, godless heathen vote locked up.

  30. sati demise says at 3:13 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Voyou Charmant: No. I have that ambivalence all the time about Hitch.

  31. Worlds End:

    Voyou Charmant[/re]:

    Don’t feel bad. I hate him enough for both of you.[re=131760]

  32. AnnieGetYourFun says at 3:20 pm, October 13th, 2008

    God, by the end of that, I was almost voting for McCain. It’s amazing how anything that Hitchens endorses makes me immediately want to support the opposite viewpoint.

  33. Serolf Divad says at 3:22 pm, October 13th, 2008

    For those who may be too young to remember Admiral Stockdale’s debate adventure day:

    Stockdale 1
    Stockdale 2

    And the rest of it was far, far worse.

  34. sati demise says at 3:25 pm, October 13th, 2008

    J:Yes.
    It started out with”Welcome brother” and ended with ahahhhhoooooinfinity.

  35. Nathalie08 says at 3:31 pm, October 13th, 2008

    The tank is officially overloaded !

  36. I am literally overcome by rage. Oh Lord, hypothetically existing, please don’t let people I dislike…endorse Obama.

    Whew. I’ve recovered by remembering they key phrase: “Way to go, cocksucker!” Much like the antiquated phrase: “Sir, you are a bastard.”

  37. Churchill says at 3:41 pm, October 13th, 2008

    I thought Hitchens had drank himself to death by now? He’s still alive, and now a Democrat!! Fabulous!

  38. Churchill says at 3:43 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Hitchens can write very well for an old drunk.

  39. Churchill says at 3:44 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Best Hitchens quote, to his brother, “you will support the communists until their horses are drinking out of the Thames”. Now that’s funny!!

  40. Churchill says at 3:46 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Hitches said to his brother Peter, “I won’t be happy till I see the Red Army watering its horses in the Thames.” Now that’s funny!

  41. Rusty Shackleford says at 3:49 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Ummm, is that supposed to be an endorsement, or a simple surrender? BTW, I totally agree with him: McCain is senile and Palin is a national embarrassment.

  42. Outstando says at 3:56 pm, October 13th, 2008

    FunkyPalmettoBug: You must live downstream from a feedlot if you think that’s water.

  43. sati demise says at 3:58 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Churchill: The greatest Hitchens quote evah?

    About Jerry Falwell:

    “If you gave the man an enema, you could bury him in a match box”.

  44. Carrie_Okie says at 3:58 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Someone needs a Tank Expansion Project Earmark.

  45. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 4:02 pm, October 13th, 2008

    I read Hitchens, and all I can think is that his column would be so much better in Latin.

  46. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 4:03 pm, October 13th, 2008

    And I wouldn’t worry about Jonah Goldberg endorsing Obama. That would be like someone declaring the Nazi’s secret liberals…..,

    Oh, wait a minute.

  47. phillyhope says at 4:26 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Voyou Charmant: no!i used to love when he would come on politically incorrect and insist on smoking in the studio, and blowing said smoke all over everyone

  48. phillyhope says at 4:27 pm, October 13th, 2008

    Voyou Charmant: no! i used to love when he would go on politically incorrect and insist on smoking in the studio, then blow said smoke all over everyone

  49. Jukesgrrl says at 8:58 pm, October 13th, 2008

    To everyone in the tank: if he wants in, I propose we insist he stop smoking and share his liquor.

  50. rocktonsammy says at 9:26 pm, October 13th, 2008

    I come to Wonkette to get away from that drunken prick Hitchens.

  51. Chrissie Hitchens and Buckley pro-Barry? They are priming the pump for next year’s column: “Voting for That One, What Was I Thinking?”
    They are as intellectual as cottage cheese is to gruyere, Bahama Mama is to Chateau Neuf du Pape, cod liver oil is to penicillin, K-Y Jelly is to monogamy.

  52. facehead says at 3:44 am, October 14th, 2008

    queeraselvis v 2.0: It is called “shitboarding.”

  53. Roxie Beaver says at 12:23 pm, October 14th, 2008

    Just testing my cool new nickname and avatar… test, test…

  54. Roxie Beaver says at 12:29 pm, October 14th, 2008

    avatar???

  55. Roxie Beaver says at 12:39 pm, October 14th, 2008

    avatar?

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