Wonkette
- This little shark in Virginia was immaculately conceived! How long until Baby Shark Jesus replaces Sarah Palin on the GOP ticket, to Appeal To The Base? [WTOP]
- Some geniuses are trying to encourage you to drink responsibly, by making you buy six beers when you only want one. [DCist]
- Hillary Clinton’s new email pyramid scheme is called the “Hotliner.” It’s based out of the Watergate and sounds like it involves sexy eyeliner. [Fishbowl DC]
- Local states Maryland and Virginia rank 10th and 11th, respectively, on Business Week’s list of most terribly mismanaged state budgets. [DC Examiner]
- A certain formed DC Councilman/Pynchon character named “Harold Brazil” was arrested for assaulting someone who worked at a tattoo parlor. [Washington Post]
Virgin shark birth has to be one of the signs of the Rapture, right?
I think a “Hotliner” is what they call a Cleveland Steamer in Cincinnati.
Hurricane and King Cobra are too upscale for me. Keystone, or American Flag, my beers/shampoos of choice.
Soon we’ll have slots in Maryland and the Free State will become the Nickle State, and all children will eat caviar forever.
“Donna” is Harold’s drag name.
“This first case was no fluke,” Demian Chapman, a shark scientist and lead author of the second study, said in a statement.
No, it was a shark…
bwahahahahah
Alaska has a surplus.
In the case of the first shark:
That is what happened to the tiny hammerhead pup in the Omaha case.
“By the time they could realize what they were looking at, something munched the baby,” he said of aquarium workers. The remains of the pup were used for the DNA testing.
A feel good story. Thanks Wonkette!
Bristol: “See mom — we didn’t have premarital sex — it’s parthanogenesis.”
Sarah: “What did I tell you about using Godless science words in this house? You’re spending a night in the box. Not you, Levi.”
Baby Shark Jesus was et to save us from our sins. All Hail Baby Shark Jesus!
Gay marriage in Connecticut. Immaculately conceived shark. Coincidence?
Would someone PLEEEASE give us the “lipstick on a shark” joke that we’re all waiting for?
Doesn’t “al Qaeda” literally mean “The Base”? Just sayin’…
Canmon (the Inadequate): I’d have a surplus, too, if I was a major suckler off the Federal teat. Basically, Alaska itself is a welfare state.
Fantastic Pynchon references, Juli.
StrangelyBrown: Hmmm…
According to that Business Week article the states with the worst budget % shortfalls atm are California, Arizona, and Florida. Color me unsurprised.
They did that “single beer ban” in my neighborhood, too. Now instead of a bunch of kind-of-drunk hobos, we have either angry sober hobos or super drunk hobos. Good job, assholes.
God has forsaken us. He has cast us into the economic pit of despair and anointed sharks as the new chosen species. All hail shark Jesus.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
The Station Manager: Thunderbird and MD 20/20 still come in single bottles. Thank the gods, because a 6-pack of those might kill even the most hardened alcoholic.
Gopherit v2.0: I had no idea they were still around!
Itsjustme: Yup:
http://www.bumwine.com/buy.html
Levi, has anyone shared the shark article with you? Could be your “Get Out of Jail Free Card”, me lad. Don’t leave home without it.
Egad!
Per the WP, 55% of the respondents have replied favorably to having a fisticuffs!
Oh, you only wish. Pansies!
Canmon (the Inadequate): Of hope.
Pynchon?
Quid malborg en plano.
- S.