She's street smart, not book smart!So maybe (probably?) this is a fake, but then again that’s what we thought about the whole “hackers broke into Sarah Palin’s email” rumor. “She couldn’t possibly be that stupid,” we said, and then HA! And actually a 425 verbal sounds about right. [BuzzFeed]

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  1. C in social studies and a D in foreign language? This is obviously a forgery. I refuse to believe that the greatest political mind of the 21st century was a lousy student! Damn librels!

  2. Palin became insufferable within weeks, and the worst part is Republicans love this idiocy and the general population is stupid enough to forget about how disastrous Bush and his policies have been by 2012; this woman is a horror movie monster that will continue to scare the hell out of us every 4 years

  3. Unfortunately, it’s probably a fake. 574 is the SS area number for someone born in Alaska. The Lipstick Pig was born in Idaho. The scores do seem right though!

  4. I sincerely hope that is a fake. Truly. It’s just too depressing to think it might be true and that fucker STILL chose that airhead to pander to my vagina.

  5. Good grief, the football players I went to High School with at a public school in Prince George’s County, MD, had higher scores than that.

    Then again, she fits in well with a running mate who graduated pretty much at the bottom of his class at the Naval Academy.

  6. [re=129256]Doglessliberal[/re]: You’d think someone who lived so close to Russia would be able to at least speak Russian.

    [re=129268]ihasasad[/re]: Her best language is “Authentic Frontier Jibberish”

  7. As believable as a combined 841 on the SAT is, this is probably a fake. Not that it matters; her drooling stupidity would probably only endear her to large swath of the populace.

  8. Scores like this would make it hard for an athlete to get into a PAC 10 school. Go Sarah!

    And yes, I’ll totally believe these until she proves otherwise. Pony up those transcripts, Palin!

  9. OMG… I almost got as high as HER WHOLE SCORE on EACH of the 2 sections… B in Biology? I guess they didn’t teach any sex-ed or reproductive science in those classes…

  10. [re=129273]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: You’ve kind of expressed something I’ve been wondering about recently, which is whether it is possible to experience ‘auto-schadenfreude.”

  11. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: Yeah, but back then you didn’t get your government papers at birth. I didn’t get a SS number issued to me until I was in elementary school. I was born in Virginia, but my SSN prefix reflects my living in Tennessee when it was issued. And I’m only two years older than the Thrilla from Wasilla.

    It’s still probably a fake (how would they get it?), but that’s not a deal-breaker. She moved to Alaska when she was an infant.

  12. When I was in school, in those pre-braces years, there we a couple of girls in my class that would straighten out paper clips and wear them over their teeth in order to simulate the look of braces or a retainer.

    I asked them about it one day, and one of them responded:
    “It’s better than going to some dumb old dentist.”

    I’d put good money on they’re support of McCain/Palin.

  13. I’m sure these scores fall within the average range. Isn’t the whole point to have someone who can identify with Joe Sixpack and Helen the Hockey Mom? Are you suggesting that we might want to pick some argula eatin, none g droppin, pointy-headed, cosmopolitan, elitist, commie?

  14. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: I’m not saying this isn’t a fake, but the SSN rationale doesn’t hold. People only started getting their Social Security cards at birth in the late 1970s, so it’s very likely that Sarah has an Alaska SSN.

  15. I think that the document is a fake, but just like the phony letter used by Dan Rather/CBS News 4 years ago, the document is a relatively accurate portrayal of the truth.

    I don’t see how she could have gotten into Hawaii-Hilo with scores THAT low….

    but scores THAT low sure would explain just about everything else, so who knows…

  16. I read this somewhere. Could it be true:

    Palin’s Educational Background:
Hawaii Pacific University – 1 semester
North Idaho College – 2 semesters – general study
University of Idaho – 2 semesters – journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College – 1 semester
University of Idaho – 3 semesters – B.A. in Journalism

  17. That can’t be accurate. This is a woman that failed lunch in elementary school, for trying to hold Sermons on The Mount in the playground ( with mud puddle baptisms ). I think those numbers are her bowling league averages.

  18. [re=129280]nurple[/re]: …well I took the SAT once and scored a 1080. But then again that was after getting so wasted the night before, that when I took the test the following morning I was still drunk.

  19. Also, “Part-time hours worked: under 6”? I thought the governor was workin’ two jobs her whole life, and that’s why she couldn’t take those fancy-schmancy trips to Europe like all you Elitists did?

  20. Oh, btw, that wasn’t as bad a score as it would be now. They keep dumbing down the test and recalibrating the SAT to keep the modern illiterate kiddies from feeling stupid. The only significant number is 36th percentile of college-bound seniors in English, and 31st in math. Anybody dispute that she’s dumber than two-thirds of the college-educated people in America? Anybody?

  21. …after scoring that low, the “career counselors” probably told her the only professions she qualified for was “Beauty Queen” and “Baby Machine”.

  22. [re=129313]StrangelyBrown[/re]: That’s true. And considering that the Heath family moved from Idaho to Alaska when baby Sarah was only four months old, it makes sense that she’d have a Social Security number issued in Alaska. It would be credible if she had one from Idaho, too, but the Alaska number is believable.

    I was going to start posting about this, but that there was already a heated Social Security number discussion going on. I’m not the only nerd like me!

  23. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: The Social Security number prefixes are determined by where your card is issued, not where you were born. E.g., I was born in Canada and received my Social Security card in California, where I was an adorable, tousle-headed, green-card-toting tot.

    Fortunately I am now a dual citizen so I can A) vote on 11/4 and B) flee for my home and native land on 11/5 if the Worst Should Happen.

  24. [re=129324]persiflage[/re]: Ah, grasshopper, let me introduce you to a piece of technology called a daisy-wheel printer, combined with carbon paper. Actually, my SAT scores look like they were printed on a manual typewriter with a sticky shift key. Things didn’t line up so well back then on a regular basis.

  25. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: Yeah, the “area identifier” was merely referring to the zipcode of the requestor that the SSN office sent the card to. Still, even though it is a fake, it’s good to figure out how to fake a social too. Aren’t there some poorly released tax-returns we can compare this to?

  26. You fools!! Palin forged this to INCREASE her actual score. She copied this from the top student in her high school class. Isn’t this obvious?!!

  27. This has got to be a hoax. If it’s not, do we ever really need to provide more proof of a shadow government? This wouldn’t be a conspiracy theory. This has moved beyond that, into conspiracy law.
    Manchurian Candidate be damned. We’ve got the Manchurian cheerleader. “Fire hot, Sarah. Burns.” I finally understand. This is how she’s able to communicate with the crowds at their rallies. They all speak the same language: Dumbspeak.

    This ties in nicely with primate studies of Republicans. You’d think she would have hooked up with Barry, the alpha male of the campaign. With this as evidence of her intellect it becomes obvious why she didn’t. She’s so stupid she thinks Walnuts is the alpha male. I’m surprised she and the pasty one don’t groom each other on stage. “Hold still, Sarah. You’ve got a flea right there on your… I got it.” [chomp chomp] “Your fleas is tastes good.”

  28. [re=129313]StrangelyBrown[/re]:

    My SSN has a similar first three numbers and it was issued in Maryland when I was ten yrs old or so. The office was a new one and was issuing that set of numbers rather than the lower ones customary for the State. This actually had a benefit when I was in college at University of Maryland. You’d have to pick up various print outs or forms related to registration down at the Armory and the lines were always arranged by SSN. The crowd would be in lines for numbers starting in the 200’s. Up in the 500’s, I could walk right up to the counter. Small thing, yes, but pretty pleasing at the time.

  29. [re=129359]user-of-owls[/re]: Further, if anybody here received a 2.2 GPA in high school WITHOUT being a rebel pot-smoking cool-person, please raise your hands to be executed.

  30. [re=129358]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Yeah… with the TSX dropping like a stone and Stephen Harper still at the tiller, these are sad days indeed. But at least I have the option of being a snow-bo instead of a hobo. Cold-weather boots are more nutritious in soup!

  31. [re=129336]NoStyleHere[/re]: Are you offering convenience marriages for the less fortunate of birth?

    Also, back when I was getting this kind of score attached to my permanent record (about ten years later than Gov Palin was), math & verbal were scored only as multiples of ten. When did it change? Or is this that shoddy of a pretend document?

  32. I once forged report cards on an Apple IIe, back when there was only one font to choose from. It took me about eleven minutes to reproduce the school’s format. However, I increased the grade values for *other* students. Because I wanted to be popular.

    Clearly Smear-uh does not have the wattage to fake one for herself. Oh, wait, all those kids. Never mind.

  33. [re=129366]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Again, unless you have a Big Bill’s Barn o’ Bullets nearby, stay clear of the Palin Jugend jamborees…and the South, for that matter.

  34. Yeah, I agree with everyone who says this one is fake. SAT’s used to end in zeros back then (do they still?).

    A correction should be posted before Wonkette’s standing as the preeminent political news source of past, present and future generations is threatened.

  35. Maybe she used her MAVERICK debate tactics while taking the tests.

    “I may not answer the questions that the ETS wants to hear, but I’m going to talk straight to the American people- in words composed of only the letters A, B, C, D, and E”

  36. [re=129379]rambone[/re]: If Barry has to deal with the fabricated bullshit that the MAVERICK is coming up with to smear him, this report card should be on the cover of every fucking newspaper on the planet.

  37. [re=129366]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: My senior year was 2.2ish.

    But, given the roughly 7 hours during the school day that I spent at the park alternately rolling doobies on the underside of a frisbee, and then throwing said frisbee (and smoking said doobie), I thought that gpa was pretty fucking miraculous.

  38. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: actually, the first 3 numbers are just the state of issue – my ss# first three numbers identify the state where I got the card, not the state where I was born (I checked a website that ids the first three digits). When did she move to Alaska?

  39. [re=129401]Not_So_Much[/re]: The first two years of High School were pretty much the same way on this end as well, but Sarah was a MAVERICK BULL DOG anti-drug type who has probably never seen a Frisbee in her life. This is what makes it all the worse.

  40. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]:

    Yeah, but way back then, kids didn’t get always their Socials when they were born.

    I’m one year older than Mrs. Palin, I didn’t get my SSN until I was 14 or 15.

    Mrs. Palin moved to Alaska when she was 8 or so, I think?

  41. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: I can attest that folks who got their SSNs in Alaska have numbers starting with 574–my sister and I both do. I didn’t get an SSN until I was 13 and my sister was 11. It’s not like today where they issue you one as they cut the cord. So I’m thinking it’s legit.

    I got better scores than this and I was stoned to the bone….my sis was drunk (or just hung over). Hey, we were in Alaska, exercisin’ our privacy rights.

    Just to be clear, SSN means social security number. It’s dangerous to use the term SS near Sarah Palin, considering recent “ralles” in Bavar….I mean, in Ohio.

  42. Haysoos Fucking Christmas, I took the SAT as a junior–still DRUNK from a kegger the night before–and beat her score by more than 50%. Obviously, I am the Most Qualified Person in this election cycle.

    I for one welcome myself as your new drunken overlord.

  43. From Slate –

    Bill Bradley, the thinking presidential candidate, scored a 485 verbal on his SAT? That’s lower than George W. Bush, the allegedly slow-witted presidential candidate. As reported recently in The New Yorker, Bush got an SAT verbal score of 566.

    IF this were accurate, it actually makes Bush look like a genius.

  44. [re=129413]Robbertjan[/re]: they have changed the scoring a lot. Back when I took it (mid-80s), this score was awful. It was out of 800 for math and 800 for verbal, so perfect was 1600. 1100-1200 was average, generally.

  45. [re=129380]Lazy Media[/re]: Haha! The idiocracy is upon us! 500 years my ass. Sarah Elizondo Mountain Dew Heath Palin will fix our our broken ecomony and make our crops grow because she gots what plants crave… she gots electrolytes. Hahahaha… ehhh…

    …actually, I don’t think I’ll ever laugh at that movie again.

  46. [re=129432]Doglessliberal[/re]: Thanks. Now I don’t think Bible spice is much of a genius but this score is so beyond reason, I doubt it’s real. Then again…

  47. [re=129413]Robbertjan[/re]:

    The test is designed so that 1000 is the median score (half score more, half less). 1200 is generally considered a good score, 800 not so much. Less than half the kids in America take this test; it’s intended for those going to college, so the median SAT score likely means being above average for all kids in America.

    So, an 840 in 1982 means Sarah Palin was better academically, probably, than about 60 percent of the country. The downside is, do you want a vp who is dumber than 40 percent of the country?

    However, SAT scores do not predict financial/career achievement all that well. I would imagine the average Wonkette score is > 1300, and look at these losers. I had a 1530 back when that meant something, and I’m a fuckup, so judge accordingly.

  48. Funny SAT story… The second time I took it (I think you took it twice and kept the best result or something), I was finished first in the class. I took it up to the “proctor” or whatever, who was a Franciscan brother in training (not a full teacher, and yes this was when I was still a Catholic). He moronically told me I could take the question booklet home.

    I arrived home, after a 45 minute subway ride, on a Saturday evening around 6pm and my mother greeted me with the news that the Principal had called multiple time, frantically and I had to get the question book back to school IMMEDIATELY.

    There was a lot of finger pointing, and red faces, and it seemed as if it were some massive security breech that had been averted.

    I really regretted not photocopying the freaking thing, but the library was closed and this was before the days of home photocopiers.

  49. [re=129323]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I didn’t do so well on the SATs, despite having an excellent grade point average. But even I did better than a 425 in English.

  50. Unfortunately, it’s probably a fake. 574 is the SS area number for someone born in Alaska. The Lipstick Pig was born in Idaho. The scores do seem right though!

    back then, we usually didnt get SS numbers till our teenage years or so. , not at birth, like now.

  51. [re=129254]Sussemilch[/re]: Sometimes you miss that critical question – say by putting “Amanda” on your entry form and “Mandy” on the actual test. Mandy was maybe the dumbest girl in my high school, lost 200 points for that mistake and still came in with SAT better than Palin’s score.

  52. [re=129417]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: And a barracuda. Always to be sure to give her full credit for all her aggressive, animal nicknames. This is God’s will.

  53. [re=129441]ProgHead777[/re]: Transcript from the second VP debate:

    Palin: Well, don’t want to sound like a dick or nothin’, but, ah… you’re fucked up. Ah, you talk like a fag, and your shit’s all retarded. What I’d do, is just like… like… you know, like, you know what I mean, like…

  54. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: Maybe the SSAN is fake. Don’t forget, in the long ago and far away when Ms Winky was born, not everybody got a SSAN at birth.

  55. The Soc Sec number is correct. had these same 5 digits on their site last month. It had been obtained from some ‘opposition research’ file put together for Palin.

  56. [re=129499]Doglessliberal[/re]: That’s 39 percent of those (including non-college-bound) taking the test. They don’t, uh, actually know the scores of those NOT taking the test.

    One could assume they would be lower. If we want to be generous toward the 2/3 of the high school exiters who didn’t take the test in ’81, we’ll say Sarah’s barely in the top 50 percent.

  57. Don’t all SAT scores end in 0? Or is that something that only came into play in the past decade or something?

    Regardless if this is fake or not, this lady is fucking dumb.

  58. [re=129467]Lazy Media[/re]: “I would imagine the average Wonkette score is > 1300, and look at these losers.”

    Thank you for your succinct and depressingly accurate summary of my life-path. Me go drinky soon.

  59. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: not really. used to be you didn t automatically get a ss# at birth. you usually went and got one when you were 16 or so so you could bus tables in a restaurant for $1.05/hr, no tips. so her ss# could be alaskan anyway.

  60. The right is so anxious to read Obama’s thesis. I want to ready Palin’s Television Journalism 101 paper – “Bangs or No Bangs? The Impact of Hair in Modern Journalism”

  61. She was slightly below average in verbal, 35 vs nat’l ave of 39, but she was much below average in Math, 31 vs 38 nat’l ave.
    She is definitely a c minus student.

  62. [re=129422]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Strictly speaking, in Wasilla you can’t be considered a ‘verteran’ until you’ve turned your 50th trick.

  63. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]: Doesn’t mean she didn’t get her SS# in AK. Mine starts with FL numbers but I was born in ME. My parents were filthy liberal hippie hobos living out of the back of a pick up truck converted into a “house” type thing. They bucked the system until it was time for my Dad to finish college and I needed an SS# so they could get food stamps.

  64. Do you really report your grades like that? I don’t remember that being an option. From what I’ve heard she received decent grades, so I’m leaning toward FAKE! I wouldn’t be surprised though if she did bomb the SAT. If only race baiting was on the test…

    P.S.- I love the people who are reporting their SAT scores here. How long does it take you to drop the alma mater in a conversation?

  65. [re=129270]WikipediaBrown[/re]:

    . . .actually I don’t think so. 574 (like mine) just means you were issued one in AK. This looks bonafide to me, if the Palin “Truth Squad/Gestapo” doesn’t respond to it in 48 hours I say its genuine.

  66. Sorry, this doesn’t pass the smell test.

    1. The printing on that document looks like someone created that in a graphics program. Way too dark, also.

    2. Her grades read like someone would guess they would read. Especially the D in foreign language.

    3. Most importantly, I seriously doubt Sarah Palin has taken the SAT. She was from Alaska, and back in the day the Midwest and western US was ACT country. The only way she was going to take the SAT was if she was were applying to a high-profile school, and judging from her college sojourns, that wasn’t the case.

  67. [re=129441]ProgHead777[/re]: I have written a few comments (and replies) with references to Idiocracy. I propose the formation of a caucus that will seek to elevate the profile of this cultural touchstone within the Wonkette community.

    I am now convinced that Idiocracy is not a movie but a docudrama.

    Long live president Camacho!

  68. [re=129640]heronimule[/re]: Don’t be hatin’ just because you’re jealous of my generic state university education. Generic State rules!

  69. All this proves is that Sarah’s better at speakin’ and writin’ than she is at math.

    And in a national financial crisis, if that doesn’t scare you, nothing would.

  70. [re=129737]somervillain[/re]: Nope. I took the SAT. Almost all my classmates took the SAT. In Anchorage (1980). The only kids who took the ACT were the ones who wanted to go to Midwest schools (that is, to go back to the Old Country: Wisconsin and Minnesota).

  71. [re=129810]gliberal[/re]: “Decimal point”? We now get who U R. Knowing 5th grade arithmetic puts you in the center of the Elitist camp. Go back to your fancy Fransitan and sip your friggin’ white wine.

  72. Actually Gormogon, since they raised the total points of the SAT to 2400 (from 1600)in 2005, I think your claim that she would have 1200 hurts your cause.

    A 1200 is roughly the equivalent of an 800 when she took it.

  73. Ok this is most definitely fake, although probably comes pretty close to the real thing. I’m in my 20s, so I don’t know if things were different when Palin was in high school, but SAT scores are always rounded to the tens place, so it would be impossible to receive a 425 verbal and 416 math…correct me if I’m wrong.

  74. “I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn’t believe anything.”

    – David St. Hubbins, with the Nutroots motto.

  75. [re=130633]Dave S.[/re]: Thanks Dave S., I didn’t see the words “alleged” and “probably fake” in the text, nor did I see 150-odd posts best summarized as “fake, but probably close to the truth.”
    You are a leader among men.

  76. Wow, what a bunch of gullible, easily persaudable, will believe anything that feeds your prejudices, spoon fed the storyline created by the media, pudding for brains people post here.

  77. Social Security numbers issued in Alaska are 574. There was no reason for Sarah’s family to apply for a social security number until the late 1970’s when we needed one to apply for our Permanent Fund dividend. These scores do not surprise me. No one EVER said Sarah was intelligent but the poor girl does her best. Somehow this is a very sad day for our country with the state of our economy.


  78. Uhmm…Nestegg it’s fake, provenly fake, no question about it fake. Don’t believe what you read here or anywhere else that posted this without doing plenty of your own research because obviously these people don’t do any, and yes plenty of people including her past teachers say she’s smart. She was an honor student. It’s just the media storyline to say she’s not, just as they have done to others. If you just believe the media you’d have thought Kerry was smarter than Bush, which is not true if you actually go find out. They think the only smart people there are went to Ivy League schools and the rest of America is idiots. Stop being so easily manipulated and lead…Break into her email to find nothing incriminating, post fake sat scores, but follow the storyline set for her from the start even if you have to lie to do it.

  79. “Thanks Dave S., I didn’t see the words “alleged” and “probably fake” in the text, nor did I see 150-odd posts best summarized as “fake, but probably close to the truth.”
    You are a leader among men.”

    Ah, I see – the ol’ “hey, it could be true, so whatever” ploy. Such truthiness! You should all be so proud.

    Well, Obama was raised a Muslim, so it’s been alleged that he secretly sympathizes with Muslim extremists. I think that’s PROBABLY not true, but could conceivably be close to the truth.

    Hey, this is fun! I wish I could post that picture of him dressed in the robes to go with this completely unfounded crap. Or better yet, maybe someone could photoshop his head onto Osama bin Laden’s body, with the AK-47 in the background and everything, so I could say, “Hey, it’s probably a fake, but still…”, just like you classy truthers.

  80. And could one of you geniuses explain how being an honor student equates with “probably dumb”? Or do you just assume that middle-class people who do declasse things like hunt and fish must be Neanderthals?

  81. Couple of things: why would she be taking the SAT when she was already 18, in the second semester of her senior year (test date is allegedly 1982)? And someone posted that scores always ended in a zero, which is also correct. Whoever the hoaxer was must have thought that a number like 425 seemed more specific and thus more believable. I know people have described her as “smart”–I’m willing to believe that she has some kind of savvy, but she strikes me as undereducated and no genius.

  82. Dumbass. Unethical F*cktard. You want so badly for your biases to be true that you don’t really give a crap about truth, justice, ethics, fairness, or journalistic standards. You try to show that Palin is stupid, but reveal your own lack of intellect. Did you take the SAT’s? Did you think it was just a coincidink that you and all your friends had grades that were multiples of 10? You are so sure of the superiority of your ideas that you think all your opponents are stupid. Well, look in the mirror, schmuck.

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