I'm Gerald Ford, and you're not.John McCain used to be famous and handsome, when he was a lot younger, and many “moderates” enjoyed his personality and funny jokes about gorillas raping ladies. Now, however, he is a repulsive old cretin spouting utterly phony wingnut bullshit that he can’t even be bothered to pretend to believe — after all, he believes in nothing but the counsel of lobbyists, his right to massive wealth and his elite military bloodlines. This is why every Republican leader in Michigan — including the dead moderate ghost of Gerald Ford — has gone public with their deep hatred of John McCain, the horrible old fraud.

The Grand Rapids Press reports today:

“He is not the McCain I endorsed,” said former Republican Governor William Milliken, reached at his Traverse City home Thursday. “He keeps saying, ‘Who is Barack Obama?’ I would ask the question, ‘Who is John McCain?’ because his campaign has become rather disappointing to me.”

Other famous area Republicans who now loathe McCain include Phil Arthurhultz, a former Republican state senator, Bob Eleveld, “a former Kent County Republican chairman who led McCain’s West Michigan campaign in 2000,” and former U.S. Senator Lincoln Chafee, who is from Rhode Island, but is wandering around Michigan bitching about what a sellout McCain has become.

Former governor Milliken backs away from McCain [M Live]

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  1. I’m not giving these peeps any creds for seeing the light. MOFOs knew what this fucktard was all about forever and are only saying stuff now because of Obama doing so well.

  2. You have to give the man credit, though, for managing to piss off every single demographic imaginable: liberals, conservatives, independents, women, african americans, latinos, christians, jews, jesus freaks, wingnuts…and let’s face it, if you can’t even endear yourself to those last two — for fucks sake, all you have to say is that you hate the gheys and the baby killers — well you are an epic fail of previously unimaginable proportions.

  3. Happy Belated Birthday, Mr. Chevy Chase.
    If I remember his interview on NPR correctly, Lincoln Chafee had a falling out with pretty much the entire Bush administration, and really lashed out on Bush and his policies in his book.

  4. Don’t you people see that NObama has you all fooled?! He’s a Muslim liar socialist terrorist Communist community organizer zero with a racist Christian pastor. ACORN! Rezko! Ayers!
    And he has no experience.
    I mean, Hussein – hellllloooo??
    Osama Obama! They rhyme!!
    I just don’t trust him! Get him!

    Hmm – it’s sort of exhilirating to write totally crazy shit.

  5. [re=129276]Whiskeybaby[/re]: But he still has the cracker/dueling banjoes vote! Which apparently, is in the low 30’s in terms of the percentages of American people.

    This is the darkest revelation of this campaign. Fucking George Wallace had more national appeal.

  6. [re=129294]pondscum[/re]: That implies that I think he’s half-breed. Nuh uh. He’s full blown Islamist in the tank with Ahmad1ne784ad, far as I can tell.

  7. French patriots in Moscow must’ve felt the same way upon the retreat of Napoleon through Russia. Uh. If there were any French patriots in Moscow at that time, that is.

    Fuck it. Let ’em eat horse.

  8. Hahahaha, suck it, America. We Michimaniacs have already perfected hobo living. Here’s a tip to all of you on Wonkette. Merely announce a disliked family member has left town to find work in Mexico/Russia/Woo-hoo-istan, hit said family member in the head with a brick and suck out his brains for food.

    You’ll get away with it because once all of America is like Michigan, no one would ever believe they’ll want to come back.

  9. [re=129311]magic titty[/re]: Don’t forget what Ms Green told us in that all too revealing video yesterday: ‘of course he’s a terrorists, its in his bloodline’

    Which means we’ve got to round up all Kenyans and kick their asses out of our country. Keep the Boston and New York Marathons SAFE from those Kenyan-blooded terrorists!

  10. [re=129350]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Have you ever been to Dearborn? At least the hummus prices are cheap, what with the competitors declaring jihad on each other.

    It is the largest Arab American city so at least gold chains, Drakkar Noir, and IROC Z-28s are recession-proof here.

  11. [re=129363]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: Good ‘old Dearborn. As a veteran of University of Michigan (1 year: dropped out to move to Cal; best decision of my life), I spent many nights walking through the infested streets of said city with Detroit based friend people. Dearborn isn’t America. Dearborn is Dubai without money.

  12. [re=129276]Whiskeybaby[/re]: And we thought Smirky Monkey had epic fail all sewn up. It’s an epic race to the bottom over there in Republikhantistandit.

  13. Good things about Michigan:

    – Astoria Bakery in the Greektown section of Detroit.

    – Beautiful coastlines, all around, but esp around Traverse City and Saugatuck

    – Kwame is GONE

    – Cherries, both fresh and dried

    – Pewabic Pottery

    – Detroit Zoo (I wish Kwame hadn’t closed the Belle Isle Aquarium)

    just off the top of my head.

  14. [re=129363]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: My great grandmother’s name translated into english was “the moor,” which would explain why as a child I was captivated by the scent of Drakkar Noir. Fortunately, my other “bloodlines” have supressed that fixation since then. I still occasionally crave anything made with garbanzos or wrapped in a pita, so I guess I’m still kind of a terrorist inside.

  15. [re=129394]Terry[/re]: OK on most o’ dat stuff. What SUCKS about Michigan, however is

    -Sucky art museum (DIA=DOA)
    -Suckier symphony (DSO=HMO)
    -Can’t walk anywhere in Day-twa except Greektown and around the ballpark
    -Ugly freaking ballpark, come to think of it….Tiger Stadium would be a great hobo village
    -All the hunters
    -The stooooooooooopid Woodward Avenue Dream Cruise
    -Lotsa old people

    We do have the coolest state slogan, “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, make sure it’s penis-shaped.”

  16. [re=129283]magic titty[/re]: Way too much correct spelling and punctuation in there, and not enough random capitalization. You still look like a librul elitist to me.

  17. [re=129390]edgydrifter[/re]: First you have to have a decent period to clear the racehorses system of steroids, bute, etc. Then fire up the grill!

    Really, McCain is just like Bush, they both inspire deep hatred at this point.

  18. [re=129408]edgydrifter[/re]: Well, you could probably just make it as someone’s third wife in Dearborn so you’ll be okay. The rest of us are screwed.

  19. [re=129409]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]:

    Other bad stuff about Michigan:

    – WAY too many people who have never been out of the state. I can see folks in AK or HI, or even central Tx never having been out, but you can accidentally drive out of Michigan and they still haven’t been.

    – Michigan Militia

    – The food in rural Michigan. Put down the white bread and Miracle Whip, people.

    – The highways in and around Detroit are continually under construction

  20. McLame is a crazy, mean old man and his sidekick’s demagoguery will no doubt have her fans waving pitchforks and nooses at her rallies. Their rallies, I mean. The manly (five a half years!) war hero has to hide behind the bimbo and the old hag.

    But Biden is calling the sissy out for being a “girly mahn.”

  21. I like to keep it in the refrigerator.
    (Mike speaking through distortion)
    Keeps the powder dry, and the action quicker.
    Let me be your American Gladitor.
    (Mike speaking)
    Find enclosed an adhesive N.R.A. sticker.

    (Mike speaking)
    A letter t’ you from where I been holed up
    in this bucolic, agrarian compound.
    One step ahead
    just ahead
    (Mike speaking)
    of the government bloodhound.

    The gas is off, it’s a national showdown.
    (deep voice)
    Sure wish that I could visit you,
    my sweet betrothed.
    (Mike speaking)
    In a couple a’ days
    we’ll all be free,
    or we’ll be dead.

    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.
    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.

    I’m fencing off this little piece of heaven.
    (Mike speaking)
    Cross the line and you’re electrocuted.
    Polishing up my AK47.
    (Mike speaking)
    It’s a constitutional right, can’t be refuted.

    (Mike speaking)
    Now they got us on TV,
    and makin’ us look stupid.
    Shot of me flippin’ my lid,
    at that mutt reporter,
    a classic case of race dilution


    (Mike speaking)
    What is the problem?
    I’m fighting for you, and a blue-eyed Jesus.
    (Mike speaking)
    America first,
    the rest get the pieces.

    Na Na Na Na.

    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.
    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.

    Fighting for your honour,
    like would any Afrikaner.
    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.

    Our numbers are strong, and it won’t be long
    ’til I can tell you, Trisha, that we won.
    You’ll be ecstatic, just like that night
    you told me up in the attic.
    That was your wish again,
    to be back in a purified Michigan

    down on…! down on…!

    (Mike speaking)
    …the farm?

    (moog solo)

    (Mike speaking)
    Well, that’s my wish again,
    to be back in Michigan.

    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.
    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    (Well, that’s my wish again, to be back in Michigan)
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.

    I hope y’like the double barrel,
    I think it goes with your apparel.
    Happy Birthday, Trisha,
    (Well, that’s my wish again, to be back in Michigan)
    I’m in the Michigan Militia.

    I like to keep it in the refrigerator.

  22. They said at the beginning that in order to win McCain was going to have to ‘thread the needle’ by appealing to both the independants and the wing nut base. I think this proves the old axiom that old people shouldn’t be allowed to handle needles.

  23. [re=129330]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]:
    Through 7 years of my part-time and no-time jobs I’ve told out-of-staters, “Wait ‘til the Great Republican Depression hits you.”
    My friends, that day has come.

    But hey, ‘Merika, at least we Michiganderganians got rid of Kwame before you dumped Dumbya.

  24. [re=129490]TalentedButHumble[/re]: If one were unemployed in Michigan a few years ago the best thing to do would be to get the hell out–there were places within an hour’s flight or a few hour drive from Detroit where people actually got hired for real jobs. Exotic places like Chicago, for example.

    Now everyone is fucked.

  25. I spent 14 years rotting in Michigan. Escaped the place last month with less than what I arrived with, even though I worked like a slave the whole time I was stuck there. At least McCain’s bailing means Michigan Republicans finally get to be as miserable as everyone else who has to live there.

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