• May 26, 2012

Plunging Markets, Blah Blah Blah

by Sara K. Smith  10:08 am October 10, 2008

Wheee!Well good morning to you! The Dow dropped over 660 points after opening, which is to say, it’s just another beautiful day on Wall Street. Our president, George W. Bush, will once again scurry out of his spider hole to choke out a few brief words about our flourishing economy before he glimpses his shadow and disappears for another six weeks. So of course we will liveblog all 90 seconds of his remarks, so stay tuned! [Yahoo Finance]

{ 39 comments }

JohnnyMeatworth October 10, 2008 at 10:10 am

just remember not to touch him while he’s playing craps….

InsidiousTuna October 10, 2008 at 10:10 am

So… Erin Burnett is looking hot this morning. At least that’s a positive.

apocalypsethen October 10, 2008 at 10:11 am

I’m pretty sure the rev. jeremiah ayers is responsible for this.

donner_froh October 10, 2008 at 10:12 am

Headline writers in a quandry. They have used “plunge” “dive” “plummet” and “tumble” so often that the thesaurus is running out of synonyms.

Keram2 October 10, 2008 at 10:13 am

Snark is dead. This is just scary.

donner_froh October 10, 2008 at 10:13 am

If Bush were to appear on TeeVee once a week until November 4 Obama would win 95% of the vote.

Serolf Divad October 10, 2008 at 10:15 am

All I can say is thank God we’ve got a CEO President who understands business and the Markets and not some community organizer in the Whitehouse. You may all now thank George W. Bush for the last 8 years of prosperity that ended our national nightmare of pudgy intern blow jobs.

nurple October 10, 2008 at 10:15 am

This nightmare will not end until Alan Greenspan takes a meeting with Nelson Muntz.

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 10, 2008 at 10:15 am

The economy haz a sad.

grendel October 10, 2008 at 10:16 am

[re=129054]Keram2[/re]: Yeah, I’m having a hard time with the snark myself… The whole race baiting thing is just making me ill… Obama’s going to win comfortably, but there’s going to be scary undertones throughout the country. If you thought the vast right-wing conspiracy was bad under Clinton, just wait till every speech is being analyzed frame-by-frame for Crip and Blood gang signs… That’s if any of us can afford Teevees anymore in our new cardboard palaces. Jeebus.

Tommy Says Soooo October 10, 2008 at 10:17 am

[re=129053]donner_froh[/re]: “Shart” is always available.

Tommy Says Soooo October 10, 2008 at 10:18 am

[re=129054]Keram2[/re]: You are so in the tank for the Apocalypse.

Serolf Divad October 10, 2008 at 10:19 am

I blame the illegal Mexicans for cramming three families in a house instead of doing the sensible thing and buying three separate, huge houses (no money down, pick your payment, APR). They’re the ones who caused the real-estate market to collapse.

Supernatural_Delegate October 10, 2008 at 10:19 am

I’ve said it before, but I think this is all positive for Barry. Things will turn around, but with any luck it won’t be until after November 4th.

DoctorCulturae October 10, 2008 at 10:19 am
Cogito Ergo Bibo October 10, 2008 at 10:21 am

If Hopey had just agreed to town meetings with McCrankypants, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Five and a half markets!

Serolf Divad October 10, 2008 at 10:22 am

[re=129062]grendel[/re]:

I have a theory that the GOP was most frightened of an Obama victory because it would expose the nasty, racist underbelly of the party. Eight years of Obama is going to make the GOP seem so Gad awful racist that no one under 30 who wasn’t raised in a secluded, backwoods, White Supremacist compound in Idaho is going to want anything to do with the party.

tennessee Jed clampett October 10, 2008 at 10:26 am

selling off again as soon as he opened his pie-hole. so reassuring.

grendel October 10, 2008 at 10:26 am

[re=129073]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Do you think Walnuts! will mention that anymore, now that he got pwned by “That One” in a town hall?

Canuckledragger October 10, 2008 at 10:27 am

This would have all worked out SO much better had y’all just listened to Dubya. He wanted people’s pension contributions gambled… er, invested [yeah, that sounds better] into the stock market. Had he only been allowed to DO that, do you KNOW how much more money would be in the stock market right now? Why, the average workin’ man would be a KING!

BTW: I still don’t understand why Dar Williams in the ads on the left is offering me a handful of puppy poopoo. But it brought to mind something that seems germane. In the words of the great, underappreciated Canuckistani philosophers MacLean & MacLean: “When shit is worth money, the poor will be born without arseholes.”

Check your newborns, y’all. I think that time has come.

Yaybuls October 10, 2008 at 10:28 am

As an avant-garde modern abstract artist, I’m thrilled by the tumbling stocks! With the constant flood of images from CNN is giving me plenty of material for my life-size new exhibit “Depressed Stock Broker Still Life Moving”

TGY October 10, 2008 at 10:28 am

They may take all my worldly goods, but they can never take my SNAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRK!

Doglessliberal October 10, 2008 at 10:30 am

[re=129077]Serolf Divad[/re]: I think that assumes too much self-awareness. I think there is a stunning amount of mainstream racism out there but 99% of those harboring these subtle biases would think you were crazy even if you pointed out their racism and racist preconceived notions, attitudes, etc. It is not the “niggra” and “uppity” stuff, but the general discomfort with a black man being successful and leading. It is in the ingrained, institional bigotry that pervades our world. Just sad. But also one of the reasons that Hopey’s ascendancy is so incredibly moving.

Keram2 October 10, 2008 at 10:30 am

[re=129066]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]: I, for one, welcome our four horsemen overlords…

nurple October 10, 2008 at 10:30 am

I hear a crow croaking in the background at the Rose Garden.

grendel October 10, 2008 at 10:31 am

[re=129077]Serolf Divad[/re]: Someone did the demographic trend lines and showed that this was one of the last elections where the Republican’s traditional base will be able to be competitive. We’re on our way to a minority majority in a lot of the more populated areas, and it’s freaking out the rednecks. Obama is winning because of his voter registration and ground game getting the people who haven’t been represented in gov’t out there. I think it’s a tipping point for American politics….

/dick joke

tinybubbles October 10, 2008 at 10:32 am

Due to the financial crisis, I may only be able to afford the ingredients for Cindy McCain’s Seared Ahi Tuna – I’ll have to serve it without the accompanying Cindy McCain’s Napa Cabbage Slaw! This is getting serious.

Serolf Divad October 10, 2008 at 10:36 am

[re=129106]tinybubbles[/re]:

Just don’t leave out the Oxycontin. That’s what give her recipe its life!

nurple October 10, 2008 at 10:36 am

President announced no new measures. After his speech he covered his head with a black cloth and was wheeled out on a handtruck.

AxmxZ October 10, 2008 at 10:41 am

It’s times like this I’m deeply grateful for my childhood spent in Russia. It taught me a lot about surviving on stale macaroni and rotten potatoes. And the best thing is, it can’t stunt my growth any more!

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 10, 2008 at 10:45 am

[re=129085]grendel[/re]: Good question. I was having a chat over beers last night about creating a sort of town hall thunderdome. Kidnap both candidates. Take them to an undisclosed location. NO prearrangements of topics or anything. And screw getting independent voters. Crowd should be evenly divided, GOP, Dems and indies. They each get their own set of bleachers. Even number of questions from each section, lottery decides who gets to ask them. Sort of the British version of the Prime Minister showing up to face Parliament, but for voters.

I would pay good money to see that.

grendel October 10, 2008 at 10:48 am

[re=129149]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: I want to see a VP town hall thunderdome… One where the audience gets spears to stab the contestants if they don’t answer the question. I’m thinking Palin is down in 5 minutes.

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 10, 2008 at 10:52 am

[re=129155]grendel[/re]: If she lasts that long!

Gopherit v2.0 October 10, 2008 at 11:17 am

When the market falls and rises like that over a few minutes, I can’t help but think of Trading Places. Someone made a shitload of money today at the expense of everyone else.

MarieDeGournay October 10, 2008 at 11:32 am

[re=129094]nurple[/re]: A murder of crows.

OzoneTom October 10, 2008 at 12:04 pm

Today, all the world are Enron pensioners!

Miller October 10, 2008 at 12:58 pm

Can we just bet the entire economy on one spin of the roulette wheel. We’d probably get better results. At least we’d bring the economic collapse on suddenly instead of slowly. Which doesn’t allow despots to seize land and power in an attempt to rule the post-apocalyptic world.

http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

V572625694 October 10, 2008 at 1:19 pm

[re=129092]Doglessliberal[/re]: [re=129125]Serolf Divad[/re]: When you hear those people in the parking lot videos or on their little ATV trikes saying, “We don’t know him,” and “I’m not saying he’s a terrorist, but…” and “I’m not ready to vote for a black man,” they’re really just saying: “No way I’m votin’ for nigger.”

boggart October 11, 2008 at 12:03 pm

For once in a crisis we in britain have not been treated to the views of an American Evangelical preacher who while visiting our goddless little heathen pleasuredome find time to warn us about the wages of sin.

Unfortunately a member of our own Parliament has stepped forward to fill the void.
http://greenteeth.blog.co.uk/2008/10/10/financial-crisisjust-invest-in-the-word-of-the-lord-saysmp-4850548

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