Wonkette
- It looks like Apple will be introducing a more affordable, hobo-friendly line of laptops next week. [Wall Street Journal]
- Testicular stem cells are the hot new alternative to embryonic stem cells. [AP]
- Wells Fargo won the bidding war for Wachovia and will now be the largest bank in America as measured by number of branches. [Bloomberg]
- Oh shock! Two former NSA employees said U.S. spies listened to the phone calls of Americans overseas. [Washington Post]
- Crowds at McCain/Palin rallies get more hysterical and angry as they realize that most rational people care more about the impending New Depression than they do scary 40-years-ago terrorist William Ayers. [Washington Post]
- John McCain gets no credit from Hispanics for his Maverick stance on immigration — only blame for being a Republican. [Politico]
DAILY BRIEFING
Wow, I can buy only two Windows laptops for the price of one Apple. Talk about deflation!
No, baby, really. It cures cancer.
From Huffpo:
“Look, we don’t care about an old, washed-up terrorist and his wife,” McCain said. “That’s not the point here.”
According to the polls, we don’t care about an old, washed-up politician and his wife either.
to be fair, the B in his first name could actually be an S mendaciously shrouded in Dirty Chicago Politics
Will the L.A. branch of Hooverville have wi-fi?
So, um. The stock market is crashing by the second. I want you to know, I love you all.
Woo hoo, suck it, feminists! There’s a REASON we think with our balls.
But but but every sperm is sacred!
McCain’s ‘maverick stance on immigration’ is still barely as agreeable as most Democrat’s policy. And McNasty is still a Republican and likes to drop bombs on brown people (As Geo. Carlin once said)… so why bother with the grumpy old pasty guy?
I want to give a shout-out to the woman wingnut from Wisconsin quoted in the Post as wondering a) why Obama keeps rising in the polls and b) thinks that votes are being stolen. You’re the reason Xanax was invented, sweets! Stay classy, you pissy nutbag.
Can I recharge my new iHobo with crushed dreams and worthless stock certificates?
As much as I love Sara;s headlines, (and I do)..I can’t stop laffing at this one..it’s a real WTF’er…
Palin pre-empts ethics report, clears self
Apple is all set to introduce a Macbook lite, aimed at buyers struggling to get my in these tough times. The Macbook will boast two innovative and interesting features: (1) It will retail for $5.95 and (2) It will be the first Macbook to actually be a book, a 192 page paperback, in fact. A higher end model out due later this year will be similar in layout, but boast a hard cover.
TJBeck:
Your new iHobo will be packaged in a brown paper bag and hold 8 oz. of grape or tangerine flavored, 80 proof corn liquor. Enjoy.
The way things are going, Apple is going to open an Apple stand right next to my apple stand.
TJBeck:
Yes.
I always wanted to buy Apple products, but I never fit into the “I have lots of money to waste so I’ll take two of your most expensive electronic gadgets” demographic.
Good news - oil is at a one-year low! Which means oil drums will become more available, for starting hobo fires to stand around after the bank takes your house.
The WaPo article has a woman pissed off about Obama’s “surge.”
Teabagging for your health.
Damnit, the only reason I picked Wachovia is because I liked the new cool blue-green wave logos a few years ago. Not I’m gonna get stuck with ugly-ass red and yellow with a stagecoach.
I’m switching banks.
Serolf Divad: Shit, I’m gonna go ahead and be first in line at the Apple Store! I mean, it’s only a block or two away and this cardboard folds up pretty easy…
The McCain rallies seem to be attended by brown shirted super patriots that can’t believe that the rest of the electorate wants to vote for that Negro socialist baby killing terrorist. John Sidney McCain III must be so proud of himself.
I assume the Duke of Wyoming has been secretly furnishing his and King George’s underground bunkers.
I can Google a recipe for Mulligan stew, beneath the highway overpass.
If I’m going to raise a small army of delinquent kids and go all Fagan in the new economy i better get busy. Hanging around a hospital in Nebraska should be a good place to start. I’m going to need a pair of those gloves without fingers eh?
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=RdDWQNPeZCU
McCain has problems with Ayers because the only bombing that’s acceptable is that from the cockpit of an F-4. Then you’re a hero. Ayers bombs killed zero. Can McCain say the same thing?
Holy shit, I wasn’t paying attention - below 8000 already?
dano: He’s living up to his father’s and grandfather’s expectations…
how can it possibly be the case that the public is more concerned with the financial situation and is not looking into the old terrorist stuff? i think the public is in the tank for Obama and the nuts need to call them out on it. clealy most of the country are terrorists and traitors. and mooslim.
arf: “Look, we don’t care about an old, washed-up terrorist and his wife,” McCain said. “That’s not the point here.”
And his wife?
Where is the love for Bernadine Dohrn who was smarter than Ayers back in the day and at least as fierce?
donner_froh: Let’s face it, McCain doesn’t care about wives. Period.
Good, i’ll get my wife off that blue-screen-of-death server and get her an elitist homo artist macbook. I’m not sure Apple would sell them for less than $800 though.
Hmmm, so my nuts are now worth more than gold? New retirement plan!
SystemError:
A-4 Skyhawk. In any case, McCorpse’s pilot history suggests that he was at war with aircraft-grade aluminum.
arf: He loves those c*nts, though.
Hmm.. cure my horrible disease, or repeatedly stick needles in my balls. I don’t know about this…
Just think, a little skin off my scrotum could have had Superman turning somersaults. How many more tragedy’s must occur before we start to harvest this precious natural resource?
So telling someone to suck my balls is actually a show of kindness. Cool.
arf: “Look, we don’t care about an old, washed-up terrorist …”
Sounds like the gauntlet has been thrown.
McNuggets: From now on, stand back 50 feet and let the trophy c*nt start up the car.
donner_froh: As long as they’re trollopy that is.
I can’t wait for the arguments against testicular stem-cell research! Every sperm is sacred!
Sarah Palin isn’t ginning and winking to get you to vote for her, she is trying to get you erect, so your pecker is out of the way when she comes in to whack your balls off in the name of science!
So let me get this straight. If I get cancer, you won’t use a bunch of left over frozen embryos that are going to be thrown out anyway, but you will chop off my balls.
Makes sense.
Hopefully Apple’s computer will be made out of food and come in a refrigerator sized box. We tech savvy hobos need it. Bindle plug ins would be nice too.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
donner_froh: Quite the lovely couple, Bill and Bernadine:
http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/Radical-Stories/
Trashy to make fun of serious people because of the way they look, sorry. His daddy was chairman of the board of Commonwealth Edison, so Bill’s apostasy was particularly galling to the Electrical Potentates.
Can you get testicular stem cells from TruckNutz?