DRUNKEN LOUTS  12:08 am October 10, 2008

by Ken Layne

BlingeeAMERICA’S WORST GOVERNOR: “Gov. Jim Gibbons has become a fleeting presence in Carson City, rarely showing up at his Capitol office and making few public appearances.” [Las Vegas Sun]

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InsidiousTuna October 10, 2008 at 12:15 am

Republican governors are just awesome.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl October 10, 2008 at 12:15 am

“There are many days that I am spending time down in Las Vegas — I have an office in Las Vegas. I have an office in the mansion and I can work there at 7 a.m. in the morning, making phone calls just as easily as I can do it here.”

…to hot Sarah Palin phone sex impersonators.

Aurelio October 10, 2008 at 12:21 am

That’s how I would be as governor: an absent presence.

boyhowdy October 10, 2008 at 12:26 am

Nice not-work if you can get it!

cal October 10, 2008 at 12:28 am

Now that’s small government!

saridout October 10, 2008 at 12:30 am

omg, we should elect him president! everyone else is doing it, why shouldn’t we?

FreshCliches October 10, 2008 at 12:33 am

Divorced Republican Governor, going into solitude?

We’re just a wetsuit, a male escort, and some meth away from the epilogue.

jennx October 10, 2008 at 12:34 am

Ya, whatever, not showing up to work. Yawn. Shouldn’t America’s Worst Governor award go to the governor who’s having nazi rallies?

PioBaroja October 10, 2008 at 12:35 am

I for one would like to thank you for taking my mind off of the current situation. It helped me realize that, when lying in the gutter covered only by my worthless account statements, I can dream of someday being the scumbag governor of a state built on processing filth into something useful, Nevada( America’s Liver™). This is truly an inspiration!

I will stop now, however, as I need to refill my last glass of bourbon and make sure that the other people in my community are not picking the useful items out of my hobo bindle.

boyhowdy October 10, 2008 at 12:38 am

In his wikibiography, it details his sins, and sloth is the least deadly of his ever so many. (I lost count.)

gurukalehuru October 10, 2008 at 12:43 am

Apparently, he’s really good at texting.

Anonymous Office Zombie October 10, 2008 at 12:45 am

There’s nothing like an economic death vortex to change your perspective. Gibbons is like a merry prankster or some kind of incorrigible but lovable sit-com character to me now.

Johnny Zhivago October 10, 2008 at 12:49 am

Gibbons should be Palin’s pick for VP when she dumps McCain next week.

Entitynein October 10, 2008 at 12:59 am

I hate my governor as much as the next guy, but come on, in the myriad of fucked up shit he’s done:

-Sexual assault on a cocktail waitress
-Bribery and federal contract scams
-Cheating on his wife with one woman
-Attending public events with former Playboy playmates
-Mismanagement of the state economy

This seems like small potato(e)s. I live close enough to Carson City to tell you that no one really wants to be there in the first place.

shortsshortsshorts October 10, 2008 at 1:07 am

I’ve spent a SHIT TON of time in Nevada, and while Gibbons is truly a cock tard of the highest order, every time a governor has done REAL governor type stuffs in Nevada, it has only made the place worst.
When I talk about Government being bad for Nevada, I’m talking about the places nobody outside the state has ever heard of.

But then you see all the gated communities in Vegas, and how they are shit-storming Reno, and it makes one hope that some Nazi-Socialist-Commie would get in there and blow it all to hell, where it belongs. The development in Vegas is particularly BLAH KILL ME now. THANKS GIBBS.

shortsshortsshorts October 10, 2008 at 1:24 am


“Gibbons are the small apes in the family Hylobatidae. The family is divided into four genera based on their diploid chromosome number: Hylobates (44), Hoolock (38), Nomascus (52), and Symphalangus (50).[2][3] The extinct Bunopithecus sericus is a gibbon or gibbon-like ape which, until recently, was thought to be closely related to the Hoolock gibbons.[2] Gibbons occur in tropical and subtropical rainforests from northeast India to Indonesia and north to southern China, including the islands of Sumatra, Borneo and Java.”

Gibbs is on the lower end of this species, but by golly Nevada, what the fuck. You did it to yourselves. You always have.

tunamelt October 10, 2008 at 1:28 am

On the grand scale of politics in Nevada, isn’t Gibbons at least like a 4…?

NotLaughing October 10, 2008 at 1:42 am


NotLaughing October 10, 2008 at 1:45 am

[re=128890]Entitynein[/re]: Soundslikehe’sreadyforapromotion

hopebong October 10, 2008 at 1:46 am

OT, (I’m a newbie, and don’t know if OT is allowed, but I gotta share this.) Yesterday I had the worst nightmare in my life. It was some time before election and October surprise broke out. It turns out Obama had his own bastard son. It was not even a cutie baby bastard, but a retarded, adult variety. The scandal completely derailed my dear Hopey. Until now, I didn’t realize just how much Edwards scarred me for life. (Yes, I was an Edwards groupie) The dream bumed me out all day. Funny thing though was that I kept thinking this can’t be real, this must be a bad dream… and yet I thought it was real.
Dear dream, next time, let me kick Palin’s ass with Putin’s karate kick, or better yet, let me be the mother of that bastard.

NotLaughing October 10, 2008 at 1:48 am

[re=128912]hopebong[/re]: Ohmygod

NotLaughing October 10, 2008 at 1:54 am


wavingnotdrowning October 10, 2008 at 1:54 am

Whatever. Sarah Palin just cleared herself of any wrongdoing:

You know, the way the Pope clears himself for stuff. She is the pope of herself.

NotLaughing October 10, 2008 at 1:54 am

[re=128917]wavingnotdrowning[/re]: Ohmygod

shortsshortsshorts October 10, 2008 at 1:55 am

[re=128918]NotLaughing[/re]: Shut up.

helenaHandbasket500 October 10, 2008 at 1:55 am

Heckuva job Gibby!

shortsshortsshorts October 10, 2008 at 1:59 am

[re=128918]NotLaughing[/re]: OKEE OKEE I will clarify. It was obvious she would get out of it. It wasn’t a big deal, and now it’s over. TADA they still won’t win. But still, shut up. I want to talk about sexy-spice Gibbons and his plans to MAVERICK Nevada.

helenaHandbasket500 October 10, 2008 at 2:01 am

“From Aug. 6 to Aug. 8, he was on a trail ride with Idaho Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter”

How very Brokeback Mountain… those GOPs LOVE the buttsecks!

trondant October 10, 2008 at 2:32 am

[re=128890]Entitynein[/re]: Wait, wait. He only cheated on his wife with one woman?
Fucking amateur. They should drum him out of their ranks for such ineptitude. But really, not buttfucking enough Young Republicans is what should get his Party Card yanked.

shortsshortsshorts October 10, 2008 at 2:37 am

[re=128927]trondant[/re]: Don’t worry. They can only hide the boy scouts for so long. Then it is totally MAVERICK. What man goes against apriori principles and fucks a bunch of boy scouts? Gibbons. What a maverick.

gurukalehuru October 10, 2008 at 2:50 am

[re=128917]wavingnotdrowning[/re]: How Napoleanic of her.[re=128922]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Dude, lighten up. Until there’s a thread to mock this latest Palinariism, the last thread up is the proper forum for discussion.
I mean, Gibboon is obviously worthy of mockery but he’s not running for anything important, so let the man fuck all the cocktail waitresses he wants.

shortsshortsshorts October 10, 2008 at 3:00 am

[re=128929]gurukalehuru[/re]: Lighten up on Shmegal Gibbons? Never. Go to sleep? Yes.

Honestly, “my friends,” the more ass blasting the better, especially on ass hats. It comes down to much more than cockytail waitresses and stuffs. Iz much beyond that now for hims. Shortz haz not said for a while, but Gibbons represents an entire generation of politics that has no fucking idea what to do, but possesses CONFIDENCE! Hooray CONFIDENCE. Therefore, they should all, every member in that particular administration? Eat a dick. Beddy bye time.

bernadette October 10, 2008 at 3:36 am

I am from Nevada (and Gibbons’ hometown) and I know what he’s doing to that state. He is making the University of Nevada, Reno cut 20% of their budget… that’s just the begining. He’s a tool.

facehead October 10, 2008 at 6:39 am

A model of executive experience.

OT, this is cute, it is a blog dedicated solely to photos of stockbrokers putting hands on their faces: http://brokershandsontheirfacesblog.tumblr.com/

what a bunch of handfaces!

Servo October 10, 2008 at 7:50 am

I’m somewhat surprised that his office isn’t located at The Mustang Ranch.

donner_froh October 10, 2008 at 8:04 am

[re=128923]helenaHandbasket500[/re]: C. L. Otter is one really cool name. Adding “Butch” takes it over the top.

sanantonerose October 10, 2008 at 8:11 am


Tommy Says Soooo October 10, 2008 at 8:23 am

Maybe Nevada should follow the trend and build a few casinos to raise money.

Terry October 10, 2008 at 8:27 am


I agree. Sarah Palin SHOULD be America’s Worst Governor, but the gets a pass because of a bit of remaining GILF feeling.

pondscum October 10, 2008 at 9:30 am

[re=128942]facehead[/re]: so THAT’s where the news has been getting those photos!

Balls! October 10, 2008 at 9:34 am

He’s a total shitbag and is horrible for the state, but people love him here because he keeps cutting taxes. This of course is in spite of the fact that we’re ranked 47th in the country in education. I’m wondering what happens to the university’s in the next year or so since they’ll either have to dramatically cut offerings or jack prices through the roof.

S.Luggo October 10, 2008 at 9:53 am

[re=128880]gurukalehuru[/re]: That might be a wasted skill. Most cocktail waitresses can’t read, no less decipher txt speak.

BTW: There’s a good reason Jimbo hasn’t been in the office. He’s trying to reduce his State-of-the-State speech to 160 chararcters.
— B4N

Tra October 10, 2008 at 11:28 am

On one hand we have abusing waitresses and bribery, and on the other we have whipping up racists and crazy people in the possible hope that someone will actually off the opposition. So really, as far as worst governors we may have a tie here…

Entitynein October 10, 2008 at 12:12 pm

[re=128927]trondant[/re]: I was an hour into a handful of sleeping pills. I think my initial comment was going to be “Cheated on his wife with one woman, while taking another woman out in public” but then I remembered that the other woman was a playmate and divorced wife of a former mayor, and got all excited to bring up the playboy thing I lost my flow.

I blame the pills (and Cindy McCain, for providing them to me)

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