SO LONG WEALTH!  3:57 pm October 9, 2008

Watching The Dow Free-Fall Is Too Much Fun

by Jim Newell

Dudes, our noses are bleeding and the sky is on fire because GOOD LORD, refreshing the Dow every four seconds as it’s free-falling is like SMOKING CRACK. This is astonishing. Whoa! There go another 30 points! HA HA HA HA HA WHEEE. [Yahoo! Finance]

 
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{ 115 comments }

InKnockYouUs October 9, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Fuck. I think this might be getting, you know, serious.

King Rinzy of Rohan October 9, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Who will buy my pretty pencils?

Mo MoDo October 9, 2008 at 4:01 pm

You’ve got the graph mixed up with Dubya’s approval rating.

El Bombastico October 9, 2008 at 4:03 pm

I don’t roll out of bed for anything less than a 600-point-drop these days.

GlennBecksTaint October 9, 2008 at 4:03 pm

USA! USA! USA!

facehead October 9, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Dientes October 9, 2008 at 4:03 pm
StripesAndPlaids October 9, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Sorry. Can’t hear you. No WiFi in my cave.

Crow T. Robot October 9, 2008 at 4:04 pm

I lost my home. I’m am tens of thousand of dollars in debt. I have no assets. All of my disposable income goes to interest payments. I doubt I have $1000 in my retirement. I’m 42.

We don’t need no water. Let the fucker burn.

Kthxbi.

ManchuCandidate October 9, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Thanks W. Today we are all Arbusto/Harken.

TJBeck October 9, 2008 at 4:04 pm

I bid one dollar, Bob!

Serolf Divad October 9, 2008 at 4:04 pm

I believe this is being caused by interference from a passenger’s Nintendo DS and as soon as he stops playing the plane will level off and we’ll all be fine.

SayItWithWookies October 9, 2008 at 4:05 pm

It’s dead, Jim.

Tawmn October 9, 2008 at 4:05 pm

Damn those hooligan teens in Wyoming!!!

TJBeck October 9, 2008 at 4:06 pm

I remember way back when the Dow dropping below 9000 was news. News, I tell ya! Those were the hours… Musta been 40, 50 minutes ago…

StripesAndPlaids October 9, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Watching it live now. Shit. MSNBC commentator: “There is a lot of pessimissm out there.” Ya’ Think?

Vewol Mevemont October 9, 2008 at 4:07 pm

It kind of keeps going down. Jesus. The barter system is going to be awesome.

Dreamer October 9, 2008 at 4:07 pm

You don’t have to be gleeful about the plummeting of my trust fund. I should have gone on that world tour before W. wreck the economy.

facehead October 9, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Don’t worry! I’m sure Sally Struthers will help us out.

StrangelyBrown October 9, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Well, at least one good thing will come out of this: President Obama.

Nathalie08 October 9, 2008 at 4:10 pm

Canada Canada Canada

Outstando October 9, 2008 at 4:10 pm

World of Warcraft money is now worth more than the “real” stuff.

S.Luggo October 9, 2008 at 4:10 pm

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

CrabtreesBludgeon October 9, 2008 at 4:10 pm

[re=128250]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Well fuck. That was seriously depressing. Is the third floor high enough to kill myself, or will there just be enormously painful but survivable damage that will create astronomical medical bills that propel me into bankruptcy?

StrangelyBrown October 9, 2008 at 4:11 pm

Watch out for McCain’s next speech: “We’re all Icelanders now”.

Serolf Divad October 9, 2008 at 4:11 pm

Anyone want to buy my used copy of Dow 36,000.

Vewol Mevemont October 9, 2008 at 4:11 pm

[re=128270]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Thunderdome doesn’t have a president.

FMA October 9, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Cheer up. I just read on Krugman’s blog that the plunging stock market is the least of our problems.
Oh.
Fuck.

Tommy Says Soooo October 9, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Scrapple is bad enough, scrapple with Scrabble tiles, it’s what’s for dinner.

irisheyes October 9, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Once I built railroad, made it run, made it race against time…once I built a railroad, now it’s done. Brother, can you spare a dime.

Everybody now!

Once in khaki boots, gee we looked swell, filled with that Yankee Doodle-e- dum, half a million boots, slogged through hell,
I (bum,bum) was the kid (bum,bum) with the drummmmmmmmm

Say, doncha remember, you called me Al, it was Al all the time…hey doncha remember, I’m your pal,

Brother, can you spare a dime.

hrhkingfriday October 9, 2008 at 4:12 pm

[re=128263]Vewol Mevemont[/re]: We would all be rich on the barter system. In other words, we have a lot of shit! Now who wants my 10,000 dsl modems?

estevancarlos@gmail.com October 9, 2008 at 4:13 pm

[re=128250]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Congratulations. Now you are free.

StrangelyBrown October 9, 2008 at 4:13 pm

[re=128278]Vewol Mevemont[/re]: Michelle = Auntie

King Rinzy of Rohan October 9, 2008 at 4:14 pm

[re=128250]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Hang in there, Crow. This too shall pass.

Serolf Divad October 9, 2008 at 4:14 pm

[re=128274]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]:

If you dive head first and maintain a vertical position throughout the fall you should be OK.

El Kabong October 9, 2008 at 4:14 pm

wtf mate?

estevancarlos@gmail.com October 9, 2008 at 4:14 pm

THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND ITS ENDING ONE MINUTE AT A TIME:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esiwzK7IRzY

Roger Mexico, Actuary October 9, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Oh, it’s just a number, absolute, meaningless, an empty signifier or whatever.

PentagonBookkeeper October 9, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Our hope is free from earthly treasures, or at least until GM starts making Jetsons cars. We all just need a little love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TiQCJXpbKg

choinski October 9, 2008 at 4:16 pm

This is the perfect moment for handsome, swarthy man who’s name rhymes with Kneel! Cash-Carry! can come in on his white horse. . . . . um . . . . any day now!

sike101 October 9, 2008 at 4:16 pm

I thought my neighbor was being a little hasty in eating his puppy last night, but now…meh

OzoneTom October 9, 2008 at 4:16 pm

Gee, at this rate I think that the only approach for Obama after taking office is to declare a new war.

A class war!

Crow T. Robot October 9, 2008 at 4:16 pm

[re=128274]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: I suspect the latter. Sit down, have a drink or three, and watch the executives pass your window on the way down.

& if you have some hash, I’ll let ya come over & watch with me.

King Rinzy of Rohan October 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm

McCain/Palin’s next campaign appearance scheduled for Hooverville, USA! Get there early…there’s a rumor that soup will be served!

echoroc October 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm

I’m putting all my shit into Zimbabwe. Someday those 20,000 dollar bills are gonna be worth something.

dano October 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm

I’m going to watch “Fight Club” tonight on DVD. I always makes me feel better about being poor.

TJBeck October 9, 2008 at 4:18 pm

In 1950, I could have given you the option to spend $5 on:
a) one share of General Motors stock – thy lynchpin of the american postwar economy!
b) A few six packs of Rainier Beer, in cans

One would be worth $4.76 today, and the other would be worth at least $13.83.

Hooray beer!

Worlds End October 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm

[re=128262]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Did you see the closing? The people looked like they wanted to eat shotguns.

Crow T. Robot October 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Hey guys–I’m not depressed–I’m kinda gleeful–don’t worry about me. I am in sorta an Edward Norton headspace (tho too wimpy to act on it)–this is kinda fun.

I watched a lot of fuckers walk away from the .com bust with more money than I’ll ever see–am hoping a few of them got caught in this pileup. Greedy bastards–I suspect some were.

Jebediah October 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Fuck. The Dow is not supposed to have a vertical asymptote.

cal October 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Are the bankers jumping yet?

That will make for must-see TV.

grendel October 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm

I can haz $700B back? Kthxbai

dano October 9, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Time to break out my homebrew equipment again since I’ll be too poor to buy store bought beer.

S.Luggo October 9, 2008 at 4:21 pm

In order to survive these terrible times, the American consumer must become more savvy when going to the store. Remember: if the gun ain’t loaded, it ain’t armed robbery.

lawrenceofthedesert October 9, 2008 at 4:22 pm

And the worst thing is that Dow Jones didn’t shake any hands on the way up. It’s a karmalanche!

NegativeZero October 9, 2008 at 4:22 pm

[re=128277]Serolf Divad[/re]: My favorite line from the amazon review:

“Many will dismiss this kind of thinking [the Dow at 36,000] as wishful, but they’re probably the same Chicken Littles who have been calling the market overpriced for years”

I bet it was just a publishing error – they really wanted to call it Dow 3,600.

GlennBecksTaint October 9, 2008 at 4:22 pm
facehead October 9, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Kingbee October 9, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Please — we need another war to take our minds off of this!! Not one of these confusing wars that have political/social/religious issues — just something simple, something with heroes. Not one where everybody is a “Hero” because they just serve — something with actual heroes that do stuff that we want to read about in the newspaper, as we lie on a park bench covered in newspapers. Not, however, multiple plane-crashing heroes who sign “confessions” after they’re captured. Real heroes who won’t talk under torture, even though they’re being waterboarded by the Americans. Oh! — wrong heroes. Forget that. OK, just any new war will be fine. Preferably with spears, to save money. Does North Korea use spears?

InKnockYouUs October 9, 2008 at 4:23 pm

[re=128295]choinski[/re]: Yeah, where are these guys: Kneel Cash and Carry, the bald guy with his Hank Bank idea? What the fuck are they doing? Learning to play the violin?

Vewol Mevemont October 9, 2008 at 4:24 pm

[re=128286]StrangelyBrown[/re]: If this means she’ll be wearing tight, revealing, chain mail during her next appearance on Larry King, I’m game. I’m also apparently a huge dork…

tunamelt October 9, 2008 at 4:25 pm

So do we panic now?

Outstando October 9, 2008 at 4:27 pm

I see no reason to pay my mortgage any longer. They can’t throw all of us out. Too many guns! Ha ha, dumbfuck capitalists.

Barack Like Me October 9, 2008 at 4:27 pm

I rolled back into town this morning from a trip out west at abt 8 am and having been cut off overnight i strolled over to the Nasdaq lobby at 43rd & Bwy in Times Square, to see what the Eur/Asian mkts did last night, and since I was already there, I thought…

What the fuck, why not?

So I knocked on the glass, got their attention, and proceeded to flip the whole room off as I rolled south on the sidewalk towards the subway.

Naturally they gave me that smug disparaging look that they do, it’s a money/WASP thing that the destroyers of America have mastered, but I gotta ask, who’s laughing now?

How you like me now you dumb stupid bitches?

I’ve got pics and video.

Serolf Divad October 9, 2008 at 4:29 pm

[re=128319]NegativeZero[/re]:

Actually, they left off the decimal point. The real title was going to be DOW $360.00.

Maj. Major Major Major October 9, 2008 at 4:29 pm

If only Bush was unable to privatize social security and get more of our money into the market…

estevancarlos@gmail.com October 9, 2008 at 4:29 pm

[re=128306]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Grab some good books, paper and pen, move into a shithole, and enjoy the ride.

King Rinzy of Rohan October 9, 2008 at 4:29 pm
estevancarlos@gmail.com October 9, 2008 at 4:30 pm

Am I the only one here who saw this coming from a mile away? Am I the only here looking forward to this?

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 9, 2008 at 4:32 pm

On CNN they’re saying that the Treasury Department needs to get off its butt and start handing out the $700 zillion that Congress gave them last week. Not buying up assets yet is not exactly infusing the system with the cash needed to free up credit.

slappypaddy October 9, 2008 at 4:33 pm

[re=128274]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: The third floor is not high enough, unless you are lucky enough to break your neck. You may survive a fall from the fourth floor, so for best results, leap from the fifth floor or higher.

Barack Like Me October 9, 2008 at 4:33 pm

[re=128306]Crow T. Robot[/re]:

When I ride on the upper decks of the Staten Island Ferry towards the city I can say ‘outside these windows we will witness the collapse of financial history’ and be telling the god’s honest truth, 5 days a week, anytime of the day.

How cool is that?

It’s fun because I don’t have to go anywhere near the trouble Tyler did to make any of this happen, they took care of that end of the deal, all by themselves, without any help from me.

Good times.

nurple October 9, 2008 at 4:34 pm

My former gardner is back in Matamoros and needs a gardner. Can I hitch a ride with anyone to Brownsville?

S.Luggo October 9, 2008 at 4:35 pm

[re=128345]King Rinzy of Rohan[/re]: Yup. It was fun while it lasted. One may as well as the final scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gb0mxcpPOU&feature=related

Gopherit v2.0 October 9, 2008 at 4:36 pm

Awwww….it didn’t close on satan’s number.

grendel October 9, 2008 at 4:36 pm

[re=128342]Maj. Major Major Major[/re]: That needs to be the talking point in Florida for the next 4 weeks.

slappypaddy October 9, 2008 at 4:37 pm

[re=128307]Jebediah[/re]: Harmony and balance have returned to the world of finance. The downward trajectory of total collapse precisely mirrors the upward trajectory of speculative madness.

CrabtreesBludgeon October 9, 2008 at 4:38 pm

[re=128337]Barack Like Me[/re]: Ooh – please to share!

Baconcat October 9, 2008 at 4:39 pm

[re=128276]StrangelyBrown[/re]: I know some Icelanders and they are like three inches from overthrowing the gov’t. Their leader had a coronary, for god’s sake. Apparently unregualted free markets DO have a downside!

facehead October 9, 2008 at 4:39 pm
mattbolt October 9, 2008 at 4:40 pm

*holds envelope to forehead*
The Dow Jones, and your mother
*rips open*

… Things that go down quickly.

HEYOOOO

CrabtreesBludgeon October 9, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=128288]Serolf Divad[/re]: [re=128356]slappypaddy[/re]: [re=128298]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Thanks for the advice all! You are the bestest friends a depressed soon-to-be-hobo could ever have! And Crow – I don’t have any hash, but I got a shitload of canned soup (Progresso, none of that redneck Campbells shit) and high-end vodka.

Worlds End October 9, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=128365]S.Luggo[/re]: classic

cal October 9, 2008 at 4:45 pm

[re=128369]grendel[/re]: Seriously, I don’t understand why there hasn’t been more discussion of how jsut recently Republicans wanted to put everyone’s Social Security into the stock market. Great idea!

Worlds End October 9, 2008 at 4:47 pm

[re=128365]S.Luggo[/re]: I raise you what mccain wants to do to the economy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcW_Ygs6hm0&feature=related

OkieHookerinEngland October 9, 2008 at 4:49 pm

[re=128253]TJBeck[/re]: Perfect.

V572625694 October 9, 2008 at 4:49 pm

[re=128277]Serolf Divad[/re]: That fine volume of prognostication and financial sagacity has just been re-issued, updated for the current market situation:

http://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=25100&mrr=1223584408

Jerk Cade October 9, 2008 at 4:50 pm

[re=128312]dano[/re]: I’ll send you my chipotle ale recipe. It’s impossible to find anyway.

charrington October 9, 2008 at 5:01 pm

Mein Fuhrer!!! I can walk!!

NoWireHangers October 9, 2008 at 5:02 pm

Time for a ticker tape parade!

slappypaddy October 9, 2008 at 5:03 pm

[re=128365]S.Luggo[/re]: We’ll all get to wear Bikinis, whether we look good in them or not. Don’t forget your sunscreen. SPF 666 is the recommended coverage.

Scooter October 9, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Oh if only we had made those Bush tax cuts permanent!

S.Luggo October 9, 2008 at 5:06 pm

[re=128291]estevancarlos@gmail.com[/re]: “It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.”

CrabtreesBludgeon October 9, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Question: If the guvmint starts buying up banks, and it buys mine, does that mean I can stop paying my credit card bill – cause technically I will own said bank and what’s the point of paying myself?

S.Luggo October 9, 2008 at 5:12 pm

[re=128403]Worlds End[/re]: I’ve always wanted to see Russia.

Crow T. Robot October 9, 2008 at 5:24 pm

[re=128472]CrabtreesBludgeon[/re]: My WaMu bills are still coming…

Scooter October 9, 2008 at 5:24 pm

My brother made two trips to Iceland in the last month. On the first the country was still gung ho and flyin’ high, but last week the people were in a huge funk, stores and restaurants were closed, many people claimed they had lost most of their life savings, the entire economy had ground to a stop. I imagine that’s where we’re headed in another week or two.

CrabtreesBludgeon October 9, 2008 at 5:32 pm

[re=128513]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Crap. Oh well, back to the drawing board…

TGY October 9, 2008 at 5:33 pm

We are all Government Employees, now. Only it’s the Shitty Deal instead of the New.

shortsshortsshorts October 9, 2008 at 5:40 pm

[re=128310]cal[/re]: Oh no no the bankers will never jump because the Feds got one thing right in the bailout: padding them with MILLIONS of CLAMS.

nurple October 9, 2008 at 5:44 pm

Scooter: only if you’re SUCKER enough to have MONEY. hahaha

Kingbee October 9, 2008 at 5:51 pm

Check out this picture of the day. It says it all.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/search/label/picture%20of%20the%20day

problemwithcaring October 9, 2008 at 5:57 pm

We Californias are hopping the border to Mexico. We sell arugala and Black Forest Berry Honest Tea to constructions and oil workers, en la plaza, then take the pesos and buy meat and cosmetic dentistry. Any fellow runners who wanna hitch a ride in my smart car, just holla…

Crow T. Robot October 9, 2008 at 6:02 pm

[re=128564]Kingbee[/re]: my new desktop, thanks.

holocron October 9, 2008 at 6:13 pm

Damnit!!! I’m ganna have to switch to Franzia…

Barrett808 October 9, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Scooter October 9, 2008 at 7:01 pm

[re=128549]nurple[/re]: Okay, I just pre-emptively burned all my money. Next suggestion?

risqueclay October 9, 2008 at 7:02 pm

Lookin’ forward to tommorrow’s disaster.

Gopherit v2.0 October 9, 2008 at 7:12 pm

[re=128668]Scooter[/re]: Damn. Shoulda saved it for kindling.

rocktonsammy October 9, 2008 at 8:00 pm

I just watch the Weather Channel, have I missed something?

btwbfdimho October 9, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Today the Dow pretty much follows the final trajectory of McCain’s plane in Vietnam. So, get ready for 5 1/2 years of chronic ass-fucking, my fellow prisoners.

tednugentslover October 9, 2008 at 10:18 pm

To prepare for the coming depression, I just had a rotten apple and 4 cans of Lone Star for dinner. In six months, I’ll be down to a third of a rotten banana and 4 cans of Lone Star.

NotLaughing October 10, 2008 at 2:14 am

I can’t wait to hear The State of the Union.

I guess it’s going to be less happy than usual.

Quietly October 10, 2008 at 2:55 am

3:45 P.M.: I switch on WTOP and get ready for a shower. Stocks are down, but it’s no biggie compared to what we’ve been through. The DJ’s almost sound cheerful. Happiness ensues.

3:57 P.M.: Shower over, I turn on WTOP again and something is clearly not right with the DJ’s. They are flipping shit, talking apocalypse, and going into a mild state of shock right on the air. Visions of terrorists attacks, school shootings, and sports injuries dance through my head. But no, it was even worse: The inevitable happened on Wall St. for the millionth friggin day in a row.

Apparently the world ended while I was detangling my hair.

boggart October 11, 2008 at 11:56 am

I have to agree, there is a morid fascination in watching it all go pear shaped.

But the main thing the meltdown tells us about the election is both candidates are not intelligent enough to be President of the world’s most powerful nation. If they were they would both now be begging to be allowed to stand down.

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