say it ain't so joe

John McCain Will Be Our Next Vice President!

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We have been wondering what fantastic campaign stunt John McCain might pull next. Declare war on Iceland? Suspend his campaign for Rosh Hashanah? But clearly we were not thinking big enough. John McCain will announce shortly that he’s such a bipartisan maverick he is switching parties and running for Number Two, because country above self and all that. Plus he hates Joe Biden. [YouTube via Top of the Ticket]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ForeignSickSpecialist

    They’re using Jedi mindtricks now. It Illumitati’s use of subliminalism isn’t as subliminal as it used to be.

  • ForeignSickSpecialist

    What did Joe say after that?

  • ForeignSickSpecialist

    “seems” should follow “it”… sorry

  • ihasasad

    So, does that make that guy in the tank or not?

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    I heard that yesterday and thought my ears were playing tricks on me! That guy lost his job as a VP for some company with no notice and no severance package after 5 years of service. Apparently he also lost his perception of reality in the bargain as well.

  • hockeymom


  • Robbertjan

    So this is why he held his fellow prisoners speech. He is actually abducted by Barry.

  • longjohnson

    There wives sorta look the same, their hair is white – yeah, I could see it happening

  • tinybubbles

    Florida, it’s always Florida…

  • Voted for Mondale

    I like the Iceland idea. It’s consistent with the Bush Doctrine of invading small wienie countries that (i) annoy us; and (ii) have no real capability to fight back.

  • Sussemilch

    Was that a failed introduction for Biden or a failed introduction for McCain?

    Me so confused.

  • Servo

    [re=127549]Voted for Mondale[/re]:
    …or (iii) have oil under their feet.

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=127550]Sussemilch[/re]: Failed intro for Biden.

  • wrenchdevil

    [re=127544]tinybubbles[/re]: Florida has a very high senility rate.

  • Kinbote

    From FRIEDA on the LA Times blog comments…

    “I am reading Obama’s book and on page 100, he admits he like radical personalities!:
    “To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully. The more politically active black students. The foreign students. The Chicanos. The Marxist Professors and structural feminists and punk-rock performance poets.”

    Clearly this man is a Punk-Rock Performance Poet, and thus more deserving of our pity than our scorn.

  • Serolf Divad

    Seriously, McCain’s best chance now is if he and Palin swap spots on the ticket. Then Baby Jesus will personally change Godless Liberal voters’ hearts and give the GOP a landslide victory.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=127534]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: losing one’s job does odd things to one’s mind:

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …is the Naval Observatory Rascal accessible?

  • Harmless

    Joe Biden is Gaffe Demon, possessing all those he touches and feeding on their misstatements.

  • Yaybuls

    …”John McCain! Oops, I mean Dan Quayle! Oops, I mean Spiro Agnew!”

  • Delicious

    [re=127573]Harmless[/re]: Vote for Barack America!

  • Too Lazy To Sign In

    Is that the Boss they were playing as the lead-in? Bruce is not going to like that.

    Add another to the list of Cease and Desist letters the McCain campaign receives.

    John Melloncamp
    Foo Fighters
    Bruce Springsteen
    The Carpenters

    Double Fail!

  • CJG

    Say it aint so, Joe.

  • saridout

    oh man, how embarrassing >.<

  • shoeho

    OY! **in honor of YK** I guess this means the R’s don’t have a lock on dumb pols.

  • skyinator

    The guy thought he aced it. He used to be a republican and just switched recently. He still has McCain on the brain.

  • Gopherit v2.0

    That guy is in the tank…..or he’s been drinking whatever made McCain call us all prisoners.

  • V572625694

    [re=127574]Yaybuls[/re]: Don’t forget William E Miller!

  • Scarab

    Where did they find five black people willing to hold signs in support of McCain?
    Wow, the economy is so bad that folks will take any job.

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=127564]Doglessliberal[/re]: The story begins the night of Sept. 27, when Bob and Joanne Breiner of Gaithersburg returned home with their son after eating at a Chinese buffet.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    OH MY GAWD THAT IS A FANTASTIC FUCK UP. You really can’t fuck up more then that… unless of course he had introduced “Corpses in my closet from 20 years ago.”

    And the crowd is equally as appealing… just a massive horde of screaming yahoos who probably don’t listen to anything except for the key words, “hope change economy rebuild trust reborn great nation” and the like. We are a nation of retards.

  • Undeterredbyreality

    Hmm… are you sure he didn’t mean to say “John Hussein McCain”?

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=127673]NoWireHangers[/re]: it was just a fabulous story, right down to the “my wife has to feed the intruder because she is Sicilian” AND the drunk guy thought his wife “just got another cat”! You cannot make this stuff up.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    At last, “No Child Left Behind” is giving us tangible results.

  • btwbfdimho

    He’s too fat to fit in, so throw him under the tank.

  • Miller

    Bah, this man was clearly announcing a plan to genetically combine Joe Biden and John McCain into the ultimate Washington insider.

  • devilboy

    I think these videos are so creepy, all around, that I wish I had never seen them.

    The condescending and disrespectful attitude of the videographer is just as vulgar as the ignorance and racism of the McCain supporters.

    This is the ugliest depiction of contemporary American politics that I’ve seen…and this was the case BEFORE the economic meltdown. Maybe it really is time to move to someplace normal like…..where, Iceland?

    I love Wonkette, but somehow I feel you guys went too far in pushing these videos. Maybe one and a link to YouTube or something….but three in our faces doesn’t reflect well on any of us.

    How much of the worst of the worst of the worst is worth it to publicize. This is political pornography, really. Maybe even political child pornography or snuff films.