The Guilt-By-Association Olympics

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  • Having nationalized our mortgage and insurance markets, the Treasury looks around and says Hmm, what can we buy next and settles on banks. [New York Times]
  • John McCain wonders where all the white women at. [Boston Globe]
  • The Supreme Court has agreed to hear a case pitting adorable orcas against the Naval Death Sonar that makes them “huddle in a shallow cove.” [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]
  • The Foo Fighters join the long list of musicians who are peeved that John McCain is “tarnishing” their wonderful artistic works by playing them at his Nuremberg rallies. [BBC News]
  • Two big bombings in Pakistan today: the police headquarters in Islamabad, and a roadside bomb elsewhere that killed four children on a bus. [Guardian]
  • John McCain has a supporter with his own “ties” to radical nutbag protester types, ties that are just as tenuous and inconsequential as Barack Obama’s to his terrorist concubine Bill Ayers. [Wall Street Journal]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith


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  • Rush

    Shouldn’t John Macinstein and Sarah Palinberg be “atoning” or something today???

    (sorry, I can’t snark on financial news anymore – worn out)

  • SisterTruth

    Sara K. These headlines are divine.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    Dave Grohl is just pissed because Courtney Love is going to play Cindy McCain in the made-for-TV movie, WALNUTS! TO YOU.

    Besides, Webster’s didn’t sue the Foo Fighters for plagiarizing their entry for “cliche”.

  • Robbertjan

    Foo Fighter songs that were allowed by Dave Grohl included, tired of you, over and out
    and lonely like you.

  • mattbolt

    I’m actually pissed about “My Hero”. That song was written about the death of Kurt Cobain. Kurt has nothing to do with WALNUTS. One blew an election, one blew his head off. One wrote “Rape me”, one tells jokes where the punchline is “Rape me again”. One crashes after heroin trips, one crashes into Vietnamese jungles. One was a hot-headed burnout with no future being crushed by the weight of the world, one was Kurt Cobain.

  • ManchuCandidate

    So long and thanks for the earaches, Navy.

  • gurukalehuru

    If Cap’n Crappypants is down 10 points among white women, it’s a safe bet he’s down among white folks over all.
    It appears that his base is reduced to retarded in-breds who live in Strongsville, Ohio.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    New avatar…kinda like this one…plus it tells Walnuts where all the white women at (except outside of Columbus, OH, where it’s always ’80s night on the campus of Ohier State).

  • ManchuCandidate

    If any Foo Fighter Song was appropriate for Walnuts, it would be “Learning to Fly.”

  • Servo

    I can’t wait to see Navy’s collective asshole pucker when the fleet of Vaygr destroyers and battlecruisers hyperspaces into our sector because they’re fucking with the whales.

  • mattbolt

    [re=127474]Robbertjan[/re]: I hear he commissioned a remake of “The One” called “THAT ONE”

    You’re THAT ONE,
    And you’re the only one,
    Who gets my redneck fans so piiissed

  • EnBuenOra

    We hate Hugo Chavez because he’s against the Free Market and he buys out big struggling industries & nationalizes them because he’s crazy and thinks they’re all ‘important’ for the country or something.

  • Serolf Divad

    Seriously, why can’t McCain just play Wagner at his rallies?

  • Robbertjan

    [re=127483]Serolf Divad[/re]: And let Leni Riefenstahl do the campaign adds. “triumph of the drilling.”

  • Sussemilch

    [re=127483]Serolf Divad[/re]: That would be appropriate.

  • Spackle Camshaft Palin

    “Here’s McCain, going for his first career gold in the 100-meter Terrorist Sympathizer”

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=127479]ManchuCandidate[/re]: They played “Dangerzone” from Top Gun at the televised McGrampy/Barbie rally yesterday. Five and a half planes!

  • mattbolt


    My family had some high expectations,
    Signed up for the fight.
    In training I was last in the class,
    But that’s alright.

    Couldn’t give a shit ’bout the Navy,
    Just got drunk and high.
    Pulled some strings up top
    To let me fly.

    And I’m lookin’ for some recognition,
    Lookin’ to one-up my dad,
    But I was too lazy
    To be a college grad

    Lookin’ to bomb some Asians,
    My dumb ass got shot out of the sky,
    I thought, “I should learn to flyyyy”

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    [re=127480]Servo[/re]: Is Vaygr Yiddish for teh gay? Sarah Silverman is off getting nailed by Harold Ford Jr so she can’t help us here.

  • Hunter Gathers

    Is anyone getting the feeling that Johnny Mac’s campaign is going from ‘unintended hilarity’ territory to ‘just plain fucking sad’. WALNUTS! released a new web ad on Ayers (I haven’t watched it, I know it’s lame). Can’t he do something entertaining, like the WALNUTS! of old? I miss the old WALNUTS!, the new one isn’t funny anymore. Or maybe I’m just fucking bored with the old man.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Hee Hee

  • Servo

    I can’t remember who sang it, but the song is on one of Jools Holland’s ‘Friends’ albums, and has been playing in my noggin since that remark.

    I can heal the sick
    And raise the dead
    And drive the little girls
    Right out of their heads
    I’m the One

    I’m the One, I’m the One
    The One they call the Second Son

  • Political Addict

    I dunno. I thought the new McCain ad was worthy looking at. Nah. Not worrying about, The president has his finger on the bomb. Just because he knew Bill Ayers. I’m sure we will be. Just. Fine.

  • Terry

    The Navy sonar may also be giving marine mammals brain hemorrhages and stuff, but who’s quibbling.

  • Robbertjan

    [re=127488]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Revvin’ up the campaign
    Listen to her howling roar
    Body under tension
    Beggin’ her to touch and go
    Highway to the Palin Zone
    Ride into the Palin Zone
    Headin’ into twilight
    Spreadin’ out her legs tonight
    She got you jumpin’ off the track
    And shove him into overdrive
    Highway to the Palin Zone
    I’ll take you
    Right into the Palin Zone
    You’ll never say hello to you
    Until you get it on the red line overload
    You’ll never know what you can do
    Until you get it up as high as you can go
    Out along the edges
    Always where I burn to be
    The further on the edge
    The hotter the intensity
    Highway to the Palin Zone
    Gonna take you
    Right into the Palin Zone
    Highway to the Palin Zone

  • Cape Clod

    [re=127483]Serolf Divad[/re]: And order rock bands to purge all their jewish musicians.

  • sailingthestyx

    [re=127489]mattbolt[/re]: thank you mattbolt; thank you very much….

  • cheeto_jeebus

    Dinty Moore is the new sushi

  • shoeho

    I am getting scared. Around this time last election, I thought Kerry had it. If those two nutjobs end up in the WH, I don’t know what will become of us. Especially if Govenor Mooseburger ends up in charge. No snark, just good, solid fear today.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=127503]shoeho[/re]: Look at all the registration kerfuffle..they’re going to steal it, or try, and if we have a problem with that, whaddya know, there’s a whole U.S of A. Army brigade done been activated to “quell crowd control”.

  • Servo

    [re=127490]Tommy Says Soooo[/re]:
    Imagine the hysteria. Tell the old Jewish peoples of Florida that a fleet of Intergalactic Gay Marines is forming an invasion force above Earth. Led by Admiral Darth Fister.

  • Cape Clod

    OT but can anyone explain the presence of a Manitee in Cape Cod Bay in October?

  • magic titty

    [re=127475]mattbolt[/re]: Also, Kurt denounced racism, was a raging feminist, and generally was the fucking man. John McCain is just an ignorant dick.

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=127518]Cape Clod[/re]: Global warming. It’s the cause of everything.

  • InKnockYouUs

    Ah, morning. Going to go down and make a withdrawal from the Bank of Hank to pay my mortgage. Wait, Johm McCain wants to pay my mortgage for me. Okay with me old man.

  • JamesMichaelCurley

    [re=127483]Serolf Divad[/re]: Sarah Palin as a bare breasted Valkyrie riding in to the debates to choose who shall live and who goes to Valhalla. Too real for fact.

  • JamesMichaelCurley

    [re=127503]shoeho[/re]: There aren’t parallels to 2004. Kerry surged, one day, dropped behind one day, moved a head one day, dropped behind and so on until the 20th of October when he fell behind, in Electoral vote projections and never recovered. Even the mash up regarding Ohio had Bush at 50% and Kerry at 46% in Ohio on October 12 in 2004.

    On the other hand, Obama is going solid in all the 2004 Kerry states plus IA through a dozen daily polls. Recently, Obama has been polling at 51% in VA and two to three points ahead of NcCain in FL. There are no guarentees in the world, but the ‘close vote’ as meassured by electoral votes in 2000 and 2004 was an anomolee for the entire hundred years before.

    If the current scenario continues in a week or two the tipping point occurs at which McCain CAN NOT recover.

    Sorry for the wonkishness – but this is serious.

  • shoeho

    [re=127566]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: Yup, I know all this. Still skeered. Will be until election is certified the first Wednesday after the second Monday in December.

  • magic titty

    [re=127566]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: The issue is they are making so much insane noise about Ayers, it has a chance to effectively distract people from actual issues. 3+ weeks is a longggg time.
    What Obama’s camp needs to do is play just as dirty, and bring up McCain’s secondhand associations with eugenic groups, neo-nazi organizations, and abortion clinic shooters and bombers.

    You have to beat these fucking Rethuglicans at their own game.

  • scarface1950

    ayers for president. i just hope he isn t attacked for his association with that terrorist obama guy.

  • shoeho

    [re=127518]Cape Clod[/re]: 1) Looking for a good bowl of chowder? 2) Is a “blue” manatee and is looking for a friendlier enviornment? 3) Found out Kitty Harris was taking Sarah Palin “manatee hunting” and headed for safer waters?

  • shoeho

    [re=127488]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: “Danger Zone” would define Walnuts piloting an aircraft.

  • Servo

    More like “Ground Zero”.

  • TJBeck

    Dow 9000, anyone? It’s close…

  • shoeho

    [re=127649]TJBeck[/re]: F#ck! BTW, if the Dow goes to Zero, does the world blow up?

  • Servo

    I’m just enjoying the sudden silence of the Me-Me braggarts about their juicy retirement portfolios.

  • InKnockYouUs

    NYT says: “it is still too soon to call for a lasting bottom in stocks or the economy”

  • bluebrazos

    No one that John McOnion has ever associated with has ever done anything stupid. He never knew anyone in the Navy who went to a whorehouse, none of his classmates at Annapolis ever terroristically duct-taped a nerds balls to a flagpole, and his wife never got diddled by any of the illegal immigrant gardeners at any of their seven houses.

  • DangerousLiberal

    [re=127580]magic titty[/re]: When everyone’s bank and 401(k) goes tits up (give it 72 hours) I don’t think Bill Ayers is gonna be an issue. Especially when we’ve still got Phil Gramm and the Keating Five to kick around some more. Some poor schlub who just lost his house, job, college fund, and Verizon V-cast service with minute by minute ESPN updates won’t care if BHO is personally giving handjobs to OBL when he finds out that John Herbert McHoover has been pulling a train with financial terrorists. QED.

  • Servo

    Obama has a general idea, considering that his Peace Corps proposal sounds a lot like the Civilian Conservation Corps, or as Bill Bryson phrased it, “The Army of the Unemployed”.

  • OzoneTom

    [re=127485]Robbertjan[/re]: Staring the “Coalition of the Drilling”.

    [re=127566]JamesMichaelCurley[/re], et al: Could they really pull of a manipulation of this scale, given the Republican racketeer influenced criminal organization’s inability to organize far simpler operations? I mean that there’s bound to be weak links throughout any conspiracy. Well of course they will have the full cooperation of the mainstream media in keeping their minority of supporter bully-boys fired up and shouting down any troublemakers.

  • magic titty

    [re=127669]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I think my g/f and I worked ourselves into a petrified frenzy last night, thinking we could actually still lose this fucking thing.
    Do people care about what matters, or superficial and fraudulent allegiances? Just not sure.

    But thanks for talking me down a little.

  • shoeho

    [re=127676]OzoneTom[/re]: [re=127681]magic titty[/re]: Well, hell, if they couldn’t find pix of the right Walter Reed for the convention, one wonders at the truth of their perfidious nature. But there is still that Diebold dude.

  • Miller

    Finally someone is taking the war to the orcas. Teach them to steal our precious seal blubber.