Wonkette
“On last weekend’s rain-soaked Saturday, Groveland celebrated those treasures with a festival in honor of the 40th anniversary of the Wild and Scenic Rivers Act. President Lyndon Johnson signed the legislation on Oct. 2, 1968.” [BLM NewsBytes]
CAPTION CONTEST
Hunted by Sarah Palin, Wildlife Furries Take Refuge In School Gymnasium
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That fishman is worshipping Cthullhu.
Smokey could use some time on the Stairmaster. Looks like he’s stolen a few too many picnic baskets.
Don’t joke, these are excellent paying jobs nowadays.
Wow, those characters bring back memories: Woodsy Owl, Smokey the Bear, and Andrew the Sickly Farm-Raised Salmon. Squeeze his tummy and he spreads The Ick to all the wild fish. Good times.
Gopherit v2.0: I was thinking more like he got a Woody over Woodsy.
Smokeys got a boner, and that owls got quite the package…
I love smokey the bear in all his anthropomorphised do-goodyness!
hail Cthulhu… you all should put more pictures of wonkette on this site so cathangover can spend every second of his day here.
Suffjan Stephens must be having trouble getting gigs.
Is woodsy wearing bell-bottoms? Nice bulge! Also I luuuuvs the buckle!
Smokey is shaped earily like my boss, what with the front butt and all.
That scene is a metaphor for the McCain/Palin ticket… there is John McCain, the allegedly wise OLD owl marching to his own maverick beat while keeping close guard on the Russian bear.
As for Palin, she is represented by the salmon, who like Palin talking to a real reporter, is clearly just a fish out of water.
“Too bad about the San Diego Chicken. Hey is there any stuffing left?”
Nobody parties like the BLM!
Looks like a Furries Convention, perversion with hillbilly music.
Furries are the only creature more intolerable than Republicans. Furry Republicans should be shot into the sun.
Why are Sarah Palin and John McCain menacing Smokey the Bear? How many Bears have to die so these twats can get elected?
Delicious: Well, they are a part of the Dept of the Interior, who has extremely high standards (and I do mean HIGH) when it comes to partying.
“And none of them even dreamed that Sarah Palin could fly a helicopter into a gymnasium.”
C’mon Wasilla. Git yo freek on!!
NoWireHangers: I just noticed that boner just now, damn furries.
Immediately after this picture was taken, Sarah Palin flew into the gymnasium on a helicopter via skylight and shot all the animals dead.
SayItWithWookies: Pow! ricochet!
Fiddle player gets wounded, then dumped on skid row by ambulance since he had no insurance..
I always wanted to date a furry…. well, when I was drunk. And for a night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiMOH3nIbms
They are biding their time and waiting for Sarah’s gun to jam. She is going to be toast!
sadly, woodsy the owl and smokey the bear are the ones who still go to phish concerts.
“Sarah Palin prepares to fire upon furries as she teaches the act of field dressing to youth at Martin Luther King High school.”
I just scat myself.
Get it right, people. It’s Smokey Bear. Does nobody else remember that annoying PSA of the kid with the cloying voice “Dad, it’s not Smokey THE Bear. It’s Smokey Bear.” And the dad, tried to tell him differently and the kid say, “You wouldn’t call the Easter Bunny, Easter THE Bunny.” And then we learn about forest fires.
Anyone? Am I the only one who listened to way too much college radio in the 90s?
Sadly, after all the crazy shit that has happened in this campaign, nothing in that photo seems out of the ordinary.
professor.cj: No. You don’t want to date a furry. Think about it: No one’s born a furry, there are no 12 year old furries if you look around, and there were no furries before the rise of the internet. The whole point of the fandom is to be a last-resort, a bargain bin of people rejected by all other cliques, the lowest rung on the social hierarchy after people were rejected for being too lame for even goths and Trekkies. Furries take in all of those hideous, stupid, awful people out of necessity, just to form strength in numbers out of their cesspool of jerking off to Babs Bunny.
Sorry if I sound irrationally angry, but, seriously folks, fuck furries.
mattbolt: i guess you saw that csi episode too. freaks, losers, and MUUUUURDERERS!
Damn that owl’s making me horny. Sexy ass bell bottoms…
NoWireHangers: There’s something wrong with me that I noticed those things before I noticed the animal costumes.
Don’t shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
You know you got my sympathy
but don’t shoot shoot shoot that thing at me
“Wasilla High School Sex Education Class”
If that photo were to be interpreted by a stoner watercolor artist, it would be like the perfect image of sarah palin’s “mind’s eye.”
iwillsavethispatient: But where are the birds and bees? Fish, owls, and bears? Oh my!
cal: And you would be wise to do likewise, if you know what’s good for you. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Wow, its as if The Flaming Lips’ backup dancers decided to gig at a VFW…
Gopherit v2.0: A good point…. Well, the owl is a bird, and I can only assume bears was a typo for bees. The fish is actually meant to be some other kind of tailed swimming thing, if you catch my drift.
evolutionista: Furries actually hate that episode. And if you read about why they hate it, it’s not because it’s unfair to them or stereotypical, it’s because it fucking over-glamorizes them. Furries themselves are the first to admit that the young, sexy people having sexy fursuit orgies from CSI is the farthest thing possible from the smelly, bearded middle-aged Aspergers cases milling around at a furry convention.
Should the BLM be sponsoring Scientology Passion Plays?
Smokey definitely has wood. I don’t know if that is a good thing.
(1) Gut-shoot the bear from an airplane. :::Check:::
(2) Dynamite the salmon. :::Check:::
(3) Stripcut the spotted owl out of its habitat. :::Check:::
Hey! I found the McCain/Palin Environmental Briefing Statement!
First Prisoner Wife “Cindy” McCranky, principal financier for the Walnuts! circus, announced today that she feels a thrill and a chill from her coif to her tailbone whenever Hopey O’Bama places his large Negroe hand in the air in the Senate to kill more Merkins in Iraq. Apparently “Cindy”’s goose bumps are so great that the usually reserved country club matron from “Arizona” has been moved to share these most intimate erotic fantasies with 35,000 well-wishers at Walnuts! road shows:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/jonathanmartin/1008/Invoking_sons_service_Cindy_McCain_levels_tough_shot_at_Obama_on_troops.html
“Five and a half more years! Five and a half more years! Five and a half more years!” shouted the throngs as they gently pelted the Budweiser queen with rose and frangipani petals.
WHY won’t Syrah Plain come out and express her deepest and wildest emotions about Hopey, too? WHY does Syrah Plain hate hard working Pennsylvania, Ohio and Michigan Merkins?!
“Welcome to Asheville”
Sometimes, I think that Christopher Guest should just stop making movies because LIFE is turning out to be one big mockumentary.
Where’s that Indian with the tear running down his cheek?
OMG! Country Bear Jamboree!!! Best amusement park ride EVER!!!
And damn, those animatronic musicians almost look real.
http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/bear.htm
SMOKEY THE BEAR SUTRA
BY GARY SNYDER
Once in the Jurassic about 150 million years ago, the Great Sun Buddha in this corner of the Infinite Void gave a discourse to all the assembled elements and energies: to the standing beings, the walking beings, the flying beings, and the sitting beings–even the grasses, to the number of thirteen billion, each one born from a seed, assembled there: a Discourse concerning Enlightenment on the planet Earth.
“In some future time, there will be a continent called America. It will have great centers of power called such as Pyramid Lake, Walden Pond, Mt. Rainier, Big Sur, Everglades, and so forth; and powerful nerves and channels such as Columbia River, Mississippi River, and Grand Canyon. The human race in that era will get into troubles all over its head, and practically wreck everything in spite of its own strong intelligent Buddha-nature.”
“The twisting strata of the great mountains and the pulsings of volcanoes are my love burning deep in the earth. My obstinate compassion is schist and basalt and granite, to be mountains, to bring down the rain. In that future American Era I shall enter a new form; to cure the world of loveless knowledge that seeks with blind hunger: and mindless rage eating food that will not fill it.”
And he showed himself in his true form of
SMOKEY THE BEAR
[click to read full text]
http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/bear.htm
“Screw whatzit, the wildlife. Along with poverty, the survival of wildlife is a prime example of a parasitic dependence on regulatory shackles which, in turn, inhibit oor nation’s free market, finance economy.”
- Alan Greenspan, Ayn Rand’s favorite, most juicy, fuckboy.
Yet, I look forward to the re-institution of the Revolution’s Committee for Public Safety. I remain a silly romantic.
This following appears to recognize the important neo-con tenet of self-help:
http://theboldsoul.lisataylorhuff.com/photos/uncategorized/guillotine_1.gif
Hoot the Owl is packing a lunch…AND a thermos!
How many licks to get…oh, nevermind.