On October 11 we’ll get a preview of Sarah Palin’s future career: a former insta-celebrity akin to a reality show star who flies around the country to show her face at sports games and clubs and say funny slogans like “Dontchaknow?” for five minutes to a bunch of drunks. Her rate will be $200 in scratch-off tickets, a Bud Lite-sponsored dildo and two baskets of fried shit for supper. This is her future, and it all kicks off October 11 when she drops the hockey puck at a Philadelphia Flyers game alongside some hockey mom contest winner. She has no idea what she’s getting into.
From a standard-issue “Free ____ Night!” sports promo release:
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the nation’s most popular hockey mom, will join the winner of the Philadelphia Flyers regional search for the “Ultimate Hockey Mom” contest and drop the puck at the ceremonial opening face-off as the home team Flyers host the New York Rangers at the Wachovia Center on Saturday, October 11 at 7 p.m.
“Because of the tremendous amount of publicity she has brought to our sport, we invited the most popular hockey mom in North America to our home opener to help us get our season started,” said Comcast-Spectacor Chairman Ed Snider who founded the Flyers in 1967. “We are very excited she has accepted our offer and we are very proud of the publicity she is generating for hockey moms and the sport of hockey.”
This will be hilarious, because Flyers season-ticket holders are rabid, drunk trash who will almost certainly (a) lead a chant of “SHOW YOUR TITS, SHOW YOUR TITS” and (b) throw batteries at her when she doesn’t show her tits. There will be vomit everywhere.
Sarah Palin To Drop First Puck. At Flyers Opener. [Philadelphia Will Do]
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I still say her future is in celebrity boxing. It’s inevitable.
Every politician gets booed at sporting events, yet they still go. I have no idea why.
She’s appearing the day after the Troopergate report is supposed to come out? No wonder they’ve scared up another hockey mom just in case she has to cancel.
I love hockey, so this fucking burns me.
We hate our own players half the time here; this should be awesome, but I fear many season-ticket holders are her fellow mouth-breathers.
If the fans chanted “Show your tits” it would make me almost like Flyers fans. Almost.
[re=126906]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]:
I would think MILF Pr0n.
She will make a cut-throat competitor on “Dancing with the Stars.”
She’s also doing a ribbon cutting at a nearby meth lab. Quite the ambassador that Palin girl.
I hope she slips on the ice like that girl in Canada singing the national anthems.
It’s time to revoke the rules against “slashing”, “high sticking” and “charging” … at least at face-off.
If she dropped the puck at a Rangers home game, the POTVIN SUCKS chant would be forever changed to PALIN SUCKS… with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins leading the chant in their Messier jerseys.
Is dropping the puck more ceremonial, like making the opening pitch? Or do the players really go at it? Moreover, does this mean she might be crushed to death amid the frantic scramble for her puck?
I’ll be there to give her a proper Philly welcome!
[re=126916]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Agreed. One of the two is a definite.
some day those fans will think back on that day when that girl who wanted to be VP showed up at their game and almost remember her name…. I hope!
[re=126907]Dave J.[/re]: I’ve seen them boo Santa Claus in Philly. This is going to be worse than when Dick Cheney threw out the first pitch at Nats Stadium.
Is this real Ms. Wonkette? Say it ain’t so…
cuz if it iz, this is the lowest of the lows…
SHOW US BRISTOL’S TITS!!
Off Topic: AIG has already burned through its $85 billion guvment loan bailout from two weeks ago and is getting $38 billion more. Un-Fucking-Believable!
I wonder if she WOULD show us her breastseses if she thought it would get her a few more votes. In any event, it’s probably more dignified than most of the stuff she’s been doing to get votes as of late.
[re=126922]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Yeah, ceremonial. Unless someone remembers that scene in Slapshot…
To complete her American Celebrity story, Sarah has to admit to an eating disorder, or maybe get some of that popular breast cancer, and then die mysteriously – leaving a fine corpse and a grieving nation.
[re=126922]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: I was just thinking this. Pucks are dropped into a face off. Otherwise will she just be standing there dropping it onto the ice and staring around blankly?
God I hope she’s dropping into an actual face-off. The thought of her attempting to flee across the ice in heels before being hip-checked back into obscurity is almost too much to handle.
[re=126928]Delicious[/re]: Hopey’s right. AIG needs to give the govmint back that spa money they blew. Tell them we’ll be happy to take it blood.
A hockey arena named after a failed bank – the Wachovia Center! Why does Sarah Palin hate the economy?
[re=126933]Larry Fine[/re]: Or she could be killed in a sad paparazzi chase, after contracting teh popular breasticle cancer.
@ms_mcgee good one..
I do hope that the philly fans ravage her. She deserves it.
Unfortunately tix for the Broadstreeters are so expensive that only the republican suits come out to do their bidness in their pricy boxes..Probably won’t even notice her, even if they bother to show up by game time. All pretty disgusting…Hope she slips and falls on her ass…
Umm… I’m from the Philly area, and I LOVE the Flyers. And the crowd will not be respectful, decent, honorable. This is Philly- a waaayyy democratic, albeit racist sort of town. I may write a letter of righteous indignation to Ed Snider in protest.
So glad we didn’t have money for season tickets this year.
Based on the description of Flyers fans in the post, is there any chance this is going to be televised? This sounds like it has high potential for unintended/unwanted comedy.
There was this bar in Tijuana where the waitresses would pick up the change with their……Nah, Sarah’s not going to do that kind puck drop, is she?
[re=126928]Delicious[/re]: Yeah but AIG’s top salesmen had a nice time getting facials and playing golf at a nice little luxury retreat after the bailout. So I feel okay about it. How does it make you feel?
http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20081008/capt.8a2b6643b46540c29b8d38368f51d476.obama_2008_michelle_obama_con104.jpg?x=223&y=345&q=85&sig=UkLBaGW6UtLLaBAKC2vZeg–
Michelle stole her Trig
[re=126945]rev_matt_y[/re]: I was wondering the same thing. Might be the first time I have real interest in hockey, ever.
Given the state of the economy, soon we will all be working for dildos, scratch tickets and baskets of fried shit. FOUR MORE YEARS!
It’s just too bad that Sean Avery isn’t with the Rangers anymore. I’d kill to see her cross-checked into the glass!
[re=126906]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Tina Fey impersonator.
[re=126945]rev_matt_y[/re]: If the Philadelphia fans are true to the reputation of Philadelphia fans, I pray to Alaskan Terrorist supporter Sarah Palin’s Lord it will be nationally televised.
[re=126945]rev_matt_y[/re]: I see a high potential for a certain hockey mom to catch a puck in the teeth if she’s not careful.
[re=126928]Delicious[/re]: Hahahahahahaha! AIG, the Oliver Twist of Multi-billion dollar corporations.
i think someone really needs to test her “hockey mom” credentials. i know she has almost as many kids as michelle bachmann, but three are girls, one male ain’t hockey playin’ age, and we don’t much about track–except that he’s ostensibly named for her love of running, which makes me wonder why not “travel” or “dribble” considering her basketball background–and he took to military service to avoid jail time and meth. but jesus, any american could claim to be a hockey person because none of us know the fucking rules. it’s a canadian/russian/swede sport. try challenging someone on the nuances of cricket rules. good fucking luck. same with ice soccer, or hockey as it’s known to the 4% of people who’ve seen or played it. down here, it’s some combination of drinking, fighting, and ice.
[re=126938]ms_mcgee[/re]: That’s the best part. Its because 1 out of every 5 jobs is in the dismantling old banks for scrap metal industry.
I wonder if she’ll tell Dmitri Kalinin that she can see his home from her backyard.
Rats. No national coverage of the game, according to the Flyers website.
http://flyers.nhl.com/team/app?service=page&page=SubseasonSchedule
I see that they webcast some of the preseason games. Any of you Flyers fans know if they webcast home games?
Jeez this just makes me hate the Flyers even more than ever. Thank God it wasn’t my team that enabled this lying, incompetent idiot.
I am praying that a stray Red Wings fan shows up with an octopus.
This is ridiculous. From the Flyers website: http://flyers.nhl.com/team/app/?service=page&page=NewsPage&articleid=385526
The Flyers have been searching for the ultimate hockey mom in the Greater Philadelphia Region through an on line contest which asked hockey players or hockey moms themselves to submit their hockey mom poster to the team.
Hockey moms and players were encouraged to submit posters showing their hockey mom pride and their loyalty and dedication to the sport via the team’s website, philadelphiaflyers.com, by October 7. The team will award all hockey moms entered into the contest with a free “puck-er peach” lipstick and four tickets to a Philadelphia Phantoms hockey game. The winner will appear on the ice with Palin for opening face-off.
In addition to the in-game recognition, the ultimate hockey mom winner will receive a $500 gift certificate to David J. Witchell Salon and Spa/Insyte Cosmetics, a $500 gift certificate to the Wachovia Center’s Fan Gear store, a Hockey Mom Flyers jersey, four tickets to a Phantoms game, skating passes good for any of the four Flyers Skate Zone locations, and a $500 gas card — a package ultimately totaling over $5,000. Second and third place finishers will receive a $500 gift card to be redeemed at Gear Zone, the hockey pro shop at all four Flyers Skate Zone locations.
Can some Wonketteer please win this thing? I’m sure there’s a way you could accidentally/on purpose high-stick her as a “joke.”
Sarah refused to do the same for the NY Islanders, as they are not on God’s side, and in fact brag about having SATAN on their roster!
I wonder if her secret service detail will be going out on the ice with her? And if people do throw stuff, as they are likely to do, will the SS guys drop them?
This is going to be good.
I’m sure she already knows that the air in Wachovia Center hangs thing with Budweiser farts.
- hangs thick with Budweiser farts.
Serious reply: For all non-hockey-watching-people (read: The American People, other than Minnesota and Michigan) it’s totally ceremonial. The doofus wanders out to center ice on a red carpet, both captains line up, they drop the puck and they kind of half-ass pretend to tap it their way, and the captains each shake Palin’s scaly lizard hand and skate off and then some shit-drunk Philly fan throws an entire boot at Palin’s face and is tasered to death by the secret service.
[re=126980]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Any sports bar with the NHL Center Ice package should be able to beam this special occasion into Washington. And as a side not I was at a Caps game here last weekend and saw more than one person with McCain/Palin buttons on.
I says head editor should organize a viewing party with free moonshine.
I despise Philly and all things Philly-related, but I will buy a Flyers jersey, a Phillies cap, ’76-ers foam fingers and Eagles sweatpants. I will put all that shit on and make a pilgrimage to the Rocky statue which I will then mount and tongue-kiss. These things, and maybe more, I will do if Palin is hit with a battery/roll of pennies/ziploc baggie filled with urine at that hockey game.
isn’t she really just America’s Most Hated and Ignorant Hockey Mom? that’s what her business card says.
First, she desecrates our wonderful Irish Pub, and now she’s going to taint the ice of the CitiWellsFarchoviaBank Center?
PS – Wen I read the headline, I assumed Puck was one of her mavericky-named brood.
You’ve got it all wrong Wonkette. She won’t be doing the reality celeb circuit, she’ll be focused on doing ads for Campbell’s soup like all of the other sports moms, which seems extremely appropriate.
Also, between “most popular hockey mom” and the “Wachovia Center”, I think it’s time that the Flyers pull their heads out of their asses and live in the now, where most Americans either hate or are annoyed by Palin, and Wachovia is nothing more than the prize after a long, protracted custody battle.
[re=127073]edgydrifter[/re]: On behalf of everyone in Philly, Blow Me!
[re=127088]ThomasAllen[/re]: I think we should keep her taint out of this. Showing her tits will be plenty. For now…
[re=126948]V572625694[/re]: Ok, so who wants to be the next in line to give AIGsters a facial?
Sarah Palin is to hockey what OJ Simpson is to football
I think 40,000 drunk Flyers fans clamoring for tits will be able to overpower a five-man Secret Service detail.
This will not end well for the Governor, my friends.
Fuck the Philadelphia Flyers and fuck their hack Public Relations Department.
The Flyers Press Release calls the bitch pit bull “America’s Most Popular Hockey Mom.” Really? I liked what Rolling Stones Mike Taibbi had to say about her:
Not only is Sarah Palin a fraud, she’s the tawdriest, most half-assed fraud imaginable, 20 floors below the lowest common denominator, a character too dumb even for daytime TV…
The team captains will be taking this cerimonial face-off Saturday night. They are Mike Richards of Philly and Chris Drury of the Rangers. I hope one of them takes that stick of his and puts it right in her filthy mouth turning the boos in the arena to wild cheers in the process.
Okay- I just sent a biting email to the Flyers assuring them that if the Pitbull drops the puck, we won’t buy a ticket this year. That ought to do it.
It’s difficult to see her screwing this up. Gravity will do most of the work.
She showing her ass, in one of the most democratic cities in the US? I’d love to be there!!!
Ed Snider’s an idiot. He must of thought of this stunt. I know Bettman still doesn’t know who she is!
[re=126966]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: You are a sexist! Girls can play hockey!! I hear that piper is a real nut-buster! And Bristol got knocked up playin a special kinda hockey with her red-neck, ass-kickin boyfriend. She was overheard screamin “Come on, put it in the 5-hole!”
For those of you with short term memories, my hometown of Philadelphia once booed Santa Claus. In short, if you hail from the vicinity of the North Pole, yer goin’ down.
Truly, she has NO idea what she’s walking into here.
[re=127136]bigpfeifinphilly[/re]: Tag Palin with a D-cell and make it happen.
Sailin’ Pucks. Spoonerism – get it?
Palin was railing about the influence of black drug dealers in Philly when she found out there was crack in the Liberty Bell.
[re=126926]SuperRounder[/re]: Santa Claus? They booed Mike Fuck*ing Schmidt in Philly. That is like booing Jesus.
Haha, she has no fucking idea.. My usually mild-mannered dad and I used to go to games at the Spectrum in the 80′s. He would scream himself hoarse.
Oh, she’s gonna be fucking booed. I can’t wait! Philly is NOT Wasilla.
[re=127280]donner_froh[/re]: I remember when Mike Schmidt was in a terrible batting slump in the 80′s. There was a tongue-twister I heard on a local radio station– “Mike Schmidt Sits and Drinks Schlitz”… 10 times fast. There should be a ‘shit’ in there somewhere.
[re=127140]GlennBecksTaint[/re]: Each is known for massive thighs?
The Wachovia Center? Don’t we own that? Free hockey tickets for everybody!
Remember, Philadelphia is the city that booed Santa Claus.
[re=127209]old man smell[/re]: Jinx.
They also hurled snowballs at him, if memory serves.
OK, lemme just say that the famous “Snowballs at Santa” happened in ’68 (40th anniversary!). Still that pretty much cemented Philly’s rowdy rep.
That having been said, I hope that my (former) fellow Philadelphians can tap into their heritage and show a real Philly welcome. Heck, whomever the winning “Hockey Mom” is can probably check the veep-in-training into the boards.
Please, Jebus? I’ll stop asking for a pony…
So, is she a hockey mom or a hockey puck???
[re=126946]Mr. Herpes[/re]: Not after five kids, she’s not.
I know this is a late post. But, I just don’t get it! what is wrong in a famous woman going to a hockey game. As part of the bizymoms Philadelphia community http://www.bizymoms.com/philadelphia/index.php I am proud she even made it to be a part of the game, knowing there may be negative responses from the crowd.
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