David Brooks is an actual MAD MAN! This is what he wrote last Friday in his farty little column: “Palin held up her end of an energetic debate that gave voters a direct look at two competing philosophies. She established debating parity with Joe Biden. And in a country that is furious with Washington, she presented herself as a radical alternative.” So in love! But now he’s 180ed again after realizing that the “radical alternative” she presented herself as was just a filthy malignant tumor — he called her “cancer,” ha ha ha, WHAT?
Not just your grandpa’s boring, garden-variety prostate cancer, either — Brooks means the REAL shit, the death cancer:
[Sarah Palin] represents a fatal cancer to the Republican party. When I first started in journalism, I worked at the National Review for Bill Buckley. And Buckley famously said he’d rather be ruled by the first 2,000 names in the Boston phone book than by the Harvard faculty. But he didn’t think those were the only two options. He thought it was important to have people on the conservative side who celebrated ideas, who celebrated learning. And his whole life was based on that, and that was also true for a lot of the other conservatives in the Reagan era. Reagan had an immense faith in the power of ideas. But there has been a counter, more populist tradition, which is not only to scorn liberal ideas but to scorn ideas entirely. And I’m afraid that Sarah Palin has those prejudices. I think President Bush has those prejudices.
You know what else has been a “cancer”? Various chunks of John McCain’s face! And so what’s the problem? It’s that elitist coasties like David Brooks, who probably has like seven iPods and all sorts of homosexual art hanging in his rich person’s New York penthouse on Fancypants Avenue, doesn’t understand Main Street Small Town values. Main Street loves votin’ for a hometown tumor, especially a “hockey mom tumor.” And when that death tumor winked on the teevee, ol’ Mom & Pop who live on Main Street said to themselves, “Well golly, that soggy tumor was a-winkin’ at me!”