About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hola wonkerados.

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  1. Jerk Cade

    Yes. That is how it feels for all of us, John. Shhhhh. Shhhhhhhhhhh. It’ll all be over soon.

  2. sanantonerose

    Wow. Look at that. He’s got the blond and the brunette. Walnuts just needs a redhead to win this thing!

  3. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    Ha! Ironic that he makes that gaffe while asking Hopey to meet his level of clarity and candor. Barry would, but it would mean removing most of his brain, Gramps.

  4. Baconcat

    I think the audience member in the background screams ‘go to war with the negroes!’ about halfway through.

  5. monty

    This right here is why he cant be president…FLASHBACKS. Five and a half years of beatdowns will do shit to a guy. Probably too many batons to the head. Too much hookers and blow? wait that was W. I still think this is some kind of repressed ‘hate the gook’ thing manifesting itself in him being a shithead and a moran.

  6. nurple

    Sarah almost cracked on that line.

    Must pace ourselves. We can’t take three more weeks of this hilarity. We’ll all be giggling idiots like those gay Warner Brothers gophers, and will be unable to harness our cabal power to secretly rule the country. Pace ourselves.

  7. Cogito Ergo Bibo

    [re=126724]Serolf Divad[/re]: Barry is secretly communicating with Uhura during the debates? Sex-ay!

  8. 2druk2phluq

    Walnuts sandwich. Grossest thing to ever hit Wonkette, and incestuous no less.

    Sarah to Megan, “No, honey, I’m not your new mommy. I’m just a piece of ass your daddy got to make him look good.” (psst – it didn’t work)

  9. Baconcat

    [re=126732]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: I wanted to take the ferry to Ogdenville, which is what they called Shelbyville at the time, and the ferry cost ‘two bees’ on account of nickels having bees on ‘em. ‘Gimme 5 bees for a quarter’ we used to say.

  10. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    Is this an instance where the prisoners are running the jail house? (That is a saying, right?)

  11. StripesAndPlaids

    [re=126746]Baconcat[/re]: You throw in a “my good friend” and I think you have a Walnuts speech.

  12. Baconcat

    [re=126753]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Now all this took place in nineteen-hundred-dikety-two, my friends. We had to call it ‘dickety-two’ because the Kaiser had stolen all our tens.

  13. teebob2000

    Day-am!! Who’s the blonde piece of tail to his left??? Ewwww, that’s his “bad side” too…

  14. Schultz

    It’s so cute when he thinks he’s still in the prison camp, isn’t it? You can’t fault him – it’s not easy reintegrating after FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!
    And the Governor has a bit of the two-face quality when she lets her hair down.

  15. iwillsavethispatient

    He’s a philosopher! I mean, aren’t we all just prisoners on this mortal coil? You know, just waiting for the glorious day when Zombie Jesus will eat our brains and take us to Nirvana?

  16. Quacker

    Holy Moly! I thought it was only us draft dodgers that had flashbacks. On the other hand I always heard the Viet Cong hash was pretty radical…., Lord knows 5 1/2 years of it would make anybody lose the ability to know what century it was.

  17. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=126771]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: No he’s just a paltry old fuck stick from AZ land, Anal Blasting his base into there retirement-home-crazies future.

  18. AxmxZ


    Don’t nobody let McCain near any Asians.

  19. Godot

    I’ll take “my fellow prisoners” over the constant repetition of “my friends” at this point.

  20. nyhfrog

    I can’t believe you didn’t keep the tape rolling:

    As the crowd reached it’s crescendo he yelled, “You bastards won’t break me this time!”

    Then he talked about how he didn’t hate Obama and then related the complete synopsis of his favorite episode of “Amos and Andy”–the one where they bought the Stutz Bearcat.

    Then he conga’d off the stage humming “Brazil”.

  21. answerbird

    Take a look at his smile at the very end of the clip – I bet any amount of money he just shit himself. Probably the first time he took a crap for days. That would explain his behavior at the debate.

    Less than a month before the debate and he is still pandering to the base. He won’t be satisified until he drives every single independent to Obama. Maybe he is talking about himself, Schmidt & Palin are holding him prisoner. They are a lot nastier than the Viet Cong.

  22. Chief Grinning Eagle

    Excuse me, I happen to be Number Six. When do I get my bubble? When may I see the Director?

  23. natteringnaybob

    [re=126841]nyhfrog[/re]: And finally he looked through the trap door and asked Steve McQueen: How do I look? Feel ok…but how do I look?

  24. ReverendGreen

    Well John, you’re not going to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but you WILL be going to another new home with a big staff, prepared meals, and lots of people to talk to daily…

  25. facehead

    [re=126720]Tawmn[/re]: makes me wonder if he and Cindi every play “hide the punji stick.”

  26. Jon in Austin

    Wow. Someone mangles words to such an extreme that even Sarah Palin’s eyes roll. That takes skill.

  27. HuskyMescan

    No way, this isn’t funny. He’s so exhausted and sick, he’s going Hanoi Hilton on us.

    My friends… chết bạn con hoang rộng rãi !!! chết bạn con hoang rộng rãi !!!

  28. WhatTheHeck

    It was at that point in the speech when a Vietnamese bystander flashed the Queen of Diamonds card and ran out of the building.

    Things are going to get exciting now.

  29. estevancarlos@gmail.com

    I wish I weren’t so attracted to McCain’s daughter. She reminds me of the full bodied white girls who tend to go for me…

    that’s the creepiest thing i’ve ever written in a while.

  30. crunchymunchy

    Freudian slip….he plans to enslave the human race, then himself. Then he’ll make a daring escape or martyr himself to save us all and the republicans will win reelection in 2012.

    I miss Ron Paul…he was fun: http://tinyurl.com/66o79q

  31. edgydrifter

    [re=126931]estevancarlos@gmail.com[/re]: A full-bodied rich white girl. Rich enough to plaster right over the creep factor. Give in, my friend, give in.

  32. AutomaticPilot

    [re=126746]Baconcat[/re]: and then I sat on the davenport, listening to the wireless and enjoying a cold glass of milk from the icebox.

  33. livy

    When are the mainstream news outlets going to pick up on this already?? This could be McCain’s campaign-ending-Dean-Scream moment!

    Or not… Some people like bondage.

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