MY FELLOW PRISONERS  3:30 pm October 8, 2008

McCain Will Put You All In Jail Forever

by Ken Layne

Creepy old war-nut John McCain was just having some fun with old veterans today when he called Americans “my fellow prisoners.” Nap time, Walnuts! [JED REPORT]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Jerk Cade October 8, 2008 at 3:33 pm

Yes. That is how it feels for all of us, John. Shhhhh. Shhhhhhhhhhh. It’ll all be over soon.

Tawmn October 8, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Ooooh! those flashbacks are coming fast and furious now…

sanantonerose October 8, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Wow. Look at that. He’s got the blond and the brunette. Walnuts just needs a redhead to win this thing!

Serolf Divad October 8, 2008 at 3:35 pm

I think he meant to say “My fellow pensioners.”

By the way: Obama wore an earpiece at last night’s debate and I can prove it!!!

Larry Fine October 8, 2008 at 3:35 pm

How about when Hopey slipped up and called everyone, “my fellow Jihadists”?

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 8, 2008 at 3:36 pm

Ha! Ironic that he makes that gaffe while asking Hopey to meet his level of clarity and candor. Barry would, but it would mean removing most of his brain, Gramps.

Baconcat October 8, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I think the audience member in the background screams ‘go to war with the negroes!’ about halfway through.

natteringnaybob October 8, 2008 at 3:36 pm

Somebody take the rat out of the face cage. He’s finished.

StripesAndPlaids October 8, 2008 at 3:36 pm

So any how, I tied a turnip to my belt, which was the fashion in those days….

monty October 8, 2008 at 3:36 pm

This right here is why he cant be president…FLASHBACKS. Five and a half years of beatdowns will do shit to a guy. Probably too many batons to the head. Too much hookers and blow? wait that was W. I still think this is some kind of repressed ‘hate the gook’ thing manifesting itself in him being a shithead and a moran.

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 8, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Sarah looks as though she just got a good whiff of McCain’s old coot farts.

tinybubbles October 8, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Alaskan terrorist supporter Sarah Palin had no reaction – was he boring her too?

nurple October 8, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Sarah almost cracked on that line.

Must pace ourselves. We can’t take three more weeks of this hilarity. We’ll all be giggling idiots like those gay Warner Brothers gophers, and will be unable to harness our cabal power to secretly rule the country. Pace ourselves.

Itsjustme October 8, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Is that the Snowbilly with the disgusting look on her face?

Cogito Ergo Bibo October 8, 2008 at 3:38 pm

[re=126724]Serolf Divad[/re]: Barry is secretly communicating with Uhura during the debates? Sex-ay!

Miller October 8, 2008 at 3:38 pm

Maybe he was just talking to a group of felons who had been bused in to listen to McCain’s nonsense on the promise they would get “good behavior” credit if they didn’t shank him.

shortsshortsshorts October 8, 2008 at 3:38 pm

“My fellow beer-drunk hopeless hobo succubus’”

2druk2phluq October 8, 2008 at 3:39 pm

Walnuts sandwich. Grossest thing to ever hit Wonkette, and incestuous no less.

Sarah to Megan, “No, honey, I’m not your new mommy. I’m just a piece of ass your daddy got to make him look good.” (psst – it didn’t work)

More Dirt Please October 8, 2008 at 3:40 pm

Standards of clarity? Words fail.

Baconcat October 8, 2008 at 3:40 pm

[re=126732]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: I wanted to take the ferry to Ogdenville, which is what they called Shelbyville at the time, and the ferry cost ‘two bees’ on account of nickels having bees on ‘em. ‘Gimme 5 bees for a quarter’ we used to say.

FMA October 8, 2008 at 3:41 pm

[re=126732]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: It was an onion. Please.

SayItWithWookies October 8, 2008 at 3:42 pm

He’s right — we need a steady hand at the tiller of Stalag 13.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl October 8, 2008 at 3:43 pm

Is this an instance where the prisoners are running the jail house? (That is a saying, right?)

pepe October 8, 2008 at 3:43 pm

I think he was blinking a secret message back to central command.

StripesAndPlaids October 8, 2008 at 3:43 pm

[re=126746]Baconcat[/re]: You throw in a “my good friend” and I think you have a Walnuts speech.

monty October 8, 2008 at 3:43 pm

my fellow halfbreed muslins

pepe October 8, 2008 at 3:44 pm

[re=126730]Baconcat[/re]: I heard “NO MORE EGGROLLS!”

Baconcat October 8, 2008 at 3:45 pm

[re=126753]StripesAndPlaids[/re]: Now all this took place in nineteen-hundred-dikety-two, my friends. We had to call it ‘dickety-two’ because the Kaiser had stolen all our tens.

teebob2000 October 8, 2008 at 3:46 pm

Day-am!! Who’s the blonde piece of tail to his left??? Ewwww, that’s his “bad side” too…

Schultz October 8, 2008 at 3:47 pm

It’s so cute when he thinks he’s still in the prison camp, isn’t it? You can’t fault him – it’s not easy reintegrating after FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!
And the Governor has a bit of the two-face quality when she lets her hair down.

iwillsavethispatient October 8, 2008 at 3:50 pm

He’s a philosopher! I mean, aren’t we all just prisoners on this mortal coil? You know, just waiting for the glorious day when Zombie Jesus will eat our brains and take us to Nirvana?

Quacker October 8, 2008 at 3:51 pm

Holy Moly! I thought it was only us draft dodgers that had flashbacks. On the other hand I always heard the Viet Cong hash was pretty radical…., Lord knows 5 1/2 years of it would make anybody lose the ability to know what century it was.

shortsshortsshorts October 8, 2008 at 3:54 pm

[re=126771]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: No he’s just a paltry old fuck stick from AZ land, Anal Blasting his base into there retirement-home-crazies future.

Advocatus_Diaboli October 8, 2008 at 3:56 pm

Attica! Attica!

AxmxZ October 8, 2008 at 3:58 pm


Don’t nobody let McCain near any Asians.

nietzscheprojectile October 8, 2008 at 3:59 pm

[re=126741]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I think you mean succubi. Better and gayer.

Vewol Mevemont October 8, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Is that blond man-woman-child-beast behind him Meghan?

stew October 8, 2008 at 4:12 pm

Holy Geritol, Batman! This old fuck losing it!

Aurelio October 8, 2008 at 4:13 pm

Walnuts didn’t even notice that he misspoke. That’s a little, uh,…creepy.

WadISay October 8, 2008 at 4:13 pm

I lived in the Lehigh Valley once. Believe me, these bitches are prisoners.

Godot October 8, 2008 at 4:14 pm

I’ll take “my fellow prisoners” over the constant repetition of “my friends” at this point.

zkemeny October 8, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Is he losing it…or did he just let slip his plans for a coup if Obama wins?

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 8, 2008 at 4:15 pm

I hereby christen WALNUTS!’ new nickname: FLASHBACKS!

Airborne Toxic Event October 8, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Look, it’s Uncle Charlie from My Three Sons. Oh, you loveable curmudgeon, you.

nyhfrog October 8, 2008 at 4:22 pm

I can’t believe you didn’t keep the tape rolling:

As the crowd reached it’s crescendo he yelled, “You bastards won’t break me this time!”

Then he talked about how he didn’t hate Obama and then related the complete synopsis of his favorite episode of “Amos and Andy”–the one where they bought the Stutz Bearcat.

Then he conga’d off the stage humming “Brazil”.

answerbird October 8, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Take a look at his smile at the very end of the clip – I bet any amount of money he just shit himself. Probably the first time he took a crap for days. That would explain his behavior at the debate.

Less than a month before the debate and he is still pandering to the base. He won’t be satisified until he drives every single independent to Obama. Maybe he is talking about himself, Schmidt & Palin are holding him prisoner. They are a lot nastier than the Viet Cong.

Chief Grinning Eagle October 8, 2008 at 4:29 pm

Excuse me, I happen to be Number Six. When do I get my bubble? When may I see the Director?

huffybike October 8, 2008 at 4:34 pm

At least this ( makes for a change from “my friends.”

natteringnaybob October 8, 2008 at 4:35 pm

[re=126841]nyhfrog[/re]: And finally he looked through the trap door and asked Steve McQueen: How do I look? Feel ok…but how do I look?

ReverendGreen October 8, 2008 at 4:40 pm

Well John, you’re not going to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, but you WILL be going to another new home with a big staff, prepared meals, and lots of people to talk to daily…

facehead October 8, 2008 at 4:49 pm

[re=126720]Tawmn[/re]: makes me wonder if he and Cindi every play “hide the punji stick.”

Jon in Austin October 8, 2008 at 4:56 pm

Wow. Someone mangles words to such an extreme that even Sarah Palin’s eyes roll. That takes skill.

astroprofeddie October 8, 2008 at 5:00 pm

He is so senile.
McCain is in the tank for Obama

HuskyMescan October 8, 2008 at 5:06 pm

No way, this isn’t funny. He’s so exhausted and sick, he’s going Hanoi Hilton on us.

My friends… chết bạn con hoang rộng rãi !!! chết bạn con hoang rộng rãi !!!

WhatTheHeck October 8, 2008 at 5:07 pm

It was at that point in the speech when a Vietnamese bystander flashed the Queen of Diamonds card and ran out of the building.

Things are going to get exciting now.

Waveos October 8, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Wait…we’re prisoners? So soon? October 8, 2008 at 5:21 pm

I wish I weren’t so attracted to McCain’s daughter. She reminds me of the full bodied white girls who tend to go for me…

that’s the creepiest thing i’ve ever written in a while.

Hedley Lamar October 8, 2008 at 5:36 pm

Palin should have stepped in, wiped his chin, and finished his speech for him.

crunchymunchy October 8, 2008 at 5:39 pm

Freudian slip….he plans to enslave the human race, then himself. Then he’ll make a daring escape or martyr himself to save us all and the republicans will win reelection in 2012.

I miss Ron Paul…he was fun:

RWWiley83 October 8, 2008 at 5:56 pm

we’re all prisoners to THE MAN!!

edgydrifter October 8, 2008 at 6:02 pm

[re=126931][/re]: A full-bodied rich white girl. Rich enough to plaster right over the creep factor. Give in, my friend, give in.

natteringnaybob October 8, 2008 at 6:27 pm

I’m sure he meant to say “Fellow Turkish prisoners…”

AxmxZ October 8, 2008 at 6:35 pm

I canned hazmat Wernicke’s aphasia?

Texas2Step October 8, 2008 at 7:05 pm

Cindy looked like she chased down one too many Vicodin with a vodka martini…

AutomaticPilot October 8, 2008 at 8:36 pm

[re=126746]Baconcat[/re]: and then I sat on the davenport, listening to the wireless and enjoying a cold glass of milk from the icebox.

scarface1950 October 9, 2008 at 12:29 am

[re=126730]Baconcat[/re]: yeah or lynch the nigra prisoner or something!

Robbertjan October 9, 2008 at 3:59 am

That was hillarious! For once Sarah isn’t the laughing stock and she knows it.

livy October 9, 2008 at 5:21 am

When are the mainstream news outlets going to pick up on this already?? This could be McCain’s campaign-ending-Dean-Scream moment!

Or not… Some people like bondage.

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