numbers and statistics

That FiveThirtyEight Guy On ‘The Colbert Report’

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Hey look who was on The Colbert Report last night — everybody’s new secret boyfriend, the esteemed baseball stats dork Nate Silver! He calls John McCain the Seattle Pilots, which is apparently funny? The point is, if this guy does not have a book deal and a standing job offer from Barack Obama by November 5, we will eat our hats. [Colbertnation]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • gjdodger

    Calling McCain the “Seattle Pilots” is funny in that the “Pilots” are “not with us anymore.” You would have liked them, though; their manager used to say “shitfuck” a lot.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Seattle Pilots?

    Oh please. Do not piss on the team that employed Jim Bouton for one year.

    If we’re using McCain as a sports team, it would be his “home” town Cardinals.

    Feeble minded.
    Carpetbagger from elsewhere
    Glories, if any, long past.
    Long past joke status.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Or “fuckshit” and pounding that Budweiser.

  • Cogito Ergo Bibo

    Sara has a nerd crush!

    Who am I kidding? I’m crushing on little Nate the numbers guy, myself. He’s geek cute.

  • BeamMeUpMrSpeaker

    actually…i nearly spit up my drink when he called McCain the Seatlle Pilots. Baseball is America’s pasttime Sara, and if you dont like it, you can git out!

  • Sean O

    List of people my coterie has decided we’d do:
    1). Tina Fey
    2). Nate Silver
    3). Hopey
    4). Michelle

  • jagorev

    I was into fivethirtyeight before it was cool. I emailed Barry’s campaign in January telling them they need to hire this guy, stat (see what I did there?)

  • Spackle Camshaft Palin

    I think he means that Walnuts is moving to Milwaukee next year. That, or he’s gonna cut a young Lou Piniella from his campaign.

  • hockeymom

    I like Mr. Silver.
    He’s the guy who was always in your dorm room, not anybody’s boyfriend in particular, but smarter than the jock you were currently dating and made you laugh WAY more than that no-good, drunken fool.

  • Delicious

    Ha! “It’s the bottom of the 9th and McCain is down two runs and Sarah Palin got picked off at 1st base.”

  • WadISay

    If McCain were a baseball team, it would be a team of like 1892-vintage re-enacters.

  • HuskyMescan

    Nate! my man. A bookie’s best friend.

  • HuskyMescan

    [re=126125]hockeymom[/re]: And before that, he’s the guy everyone paid a $1 to solve their Rubiks cube. Everyone thought he was the school geek, but had the last laugh making $30/day.

  • hockeymom

    [re=126136]HuskyMescan[/re]: rubik’s cube!

  • blader

    Nate reminds me of one of the white Freedom Riders. So innocent.

    Wolf meat.

    He might face a similar fate if he steers to close to today’s Palin rally, just outside of Nuremberg.

  • ReverendGreen

    [re=126128]Delicious[/re]: I would argue w/ Nate Silver w/ the claim that Palin’s contribution was so large it should have at least put her in scoring position; maybe it was at an extra-base hit where she got picked off at third because she couldn’t read the third base coach’s signals. Palin is more familiar with hockey analogies anyway, like Levi slipping one past the goalie.

  • Tommy Says Soooo

    Nate is the McLovin of politics.

  • BruceLee5000

    Not to be a wet blanket, but shit like this, on popular national television shows (cable not withstanding) is EXACTLY what Obama supporters DON’T need right now. Anything that even slightly encourages or reassures young people (and/or African Americans) that staying home is anywhere NEAR acceptable will certainly sink us in on November 4th.

  • lazyb

    Nate is classic U of C geek. Halfway to asperger’s in his awkwardness, earnest as all hell, and fucking adorable.

  • BruceLee5000

    that said, I’ll be spending the rest of the morning beating off over at

  • obfuscator

    [re=126131]WadISay[/re]: Much like Mr. Burns and his team of softball ringers.

  • franklyb

    [re=126151]lazyb[/re]: The guy your friend dated in college who always walked girls home at night, even when they drunkenly told him they were “fiiiiiiiiiiiine”

  • Dientes

    “A really good Chorizo”


  • Cape Clod

    [re=126114]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I get more of a Philadelphia A’s vibe from McCain.

  • cal

    All this Nate Silver geek love must stop! You people need to get dates!

    And yes, he’s cute.

  • Nigel

    Seattle Pilots?! McCain better not sully the fair city of Milwaukee after he flames out next month. Then again, Bug Selig just might be silly enough to buy him.

  • OffTheRecord

    Awwww! Cute, nerdy, and democratic. I want one!

  • rina

    [re=126114]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Though, they did trade Lou Piniella in the their one and only pre-season. My great-grandpa wrote their radio jingles!

  • sarahconnor
  • Miller

    McCain is barely the seventh inning hotdog/sausage races, let alone an actual, major league, baseball game. Maybe he’s a Double A affiliate that gets to scrimmage with the big club during spring training.

  • nutcracker

    As a serious baseball geek/ex-player, let me tell you that McCain is the 1899 Cleveland Spiders. Yep, go look it up. And Palin may have hit a double, but she ignored the third base coach and was thrown out by Hank Aaron from right field at third base, tag applied by Jackie Robinson.

  • sanantonerose

    I watched Colbert for the first time in a long time. It was refreshingly funny. The Word, as usual, is the best part. Causes. Ha!

  • livy

    He’s adorable. Reminds me a little of Michael Cera.

  • whatever_dc

    he’s fucking hot! i would so do him! (not colbert)

  • whatever_dc

    [re=126334]livy[/re]: i would SOOOOOOOOOOOOO do michael cera!!!

    what is wrong with me???

    where is my xanex???


    [re=126241]sarahconnor[/re]: Ewww

  • oudemia

    [re=126151]lazyb[/re]: Seriously, he’s a Maroon? No wonder I love him.

  • lazyb

    [re=126395]oudemia[/re]: Oh yes he is a maroon. The u of c magazine had an article about him a while ago. I didn’t read it because it had too many words but he is definitely a u of c boy.

  • oudemia

    [re=126438]lazyb[/re]: Ha! I throw those away unopened. My loss! (But yeah, totally unsurprising.)

  • lazyb

    [re=126454]oudemia[/re]: I like to read the parts where everyone lies about what fabulous lives they’re leading. I lenvision them writing their e-mails to the magazine between rounds of D and D.

  • AxmxZ

    lazyb: Yep, that’s U of C undergrad all right – adorably earnest borderline Aspies. I see it in the mirror every day, without the adorable.

  • AxmxZ

    oudemia, lazyb: I’m told the U of C alumni mag recently ran an article titled “Is Obama too U of C?”