Substantive, Civilized Debate Disappoints

Seriously, what was up with that super boring debate last night? John McCain was supposed to call Barack Obama a terrorist pal, and then Barack Obama was supposed to say "Hey man that is just wrong" and rip off McCain's testicles and sauté them gently before feeding them to Tom Brokaw withun sauce béarnaisewhich is precisely how an elitist is supposed to confront a grizzled old war hero in a Town Hall. Instead we got a lot of respectful disagreement, which was dull. Sure, the reaction last night was bad enough. But witness this morning's sad collection of headlines:

•  Brokaw Off His Game in Debate Snoozer 

•  Downturn in Decibels, Too 

•  In a Stifling Town Hall Debate, the Tie Goes to the Front-Runner 

•  Gnawingly dull debate won't halt the Obama Tide 

•  A dull debate, but narky old man McCain struggles after insulting Obama as 'That one' 

•  Barack Obama wins second presidential debate over John McCain in a snoozer 

•  McCain wins (narrowly) a boring debate 

John McCain has one more chance to show America he's a steady hand at the tiller, my friends, and that means one thing: next week's debate will feature something filthy involving Reverend Tony "Rezko" Ayers getting mauled by a moose, or else "that one" will probably definitely be president, unless Florida votes Republican.