the debate from nowhere

Boring Debate Considered Inconsequential By Many!

That debate was more boring than, uh… more boring than a Nordic opera singer being interviewed on Charlie Rose! More boring than the short-lived Pat Sajak Sunday night talk show on Fox News! MORE BORING THAN DAVID BROOKS SPARRING WITH ELEANOR CLIFT ON PUBLIC TELEVISION. Meaning, Obama didn’t say anything nutty, and Walnuts just made a bunch of jokes about Jell-O and green ears and colored people. Let’s see how other “people on the Internet” are reacting. Hint: Sullivan has a strong opinion!

First, the CNN instant poll had Obama winning the debate 54-30%, with 59-37% saying they trust Barack Obama more to handle the economy. Game over. Unless Barry rapes someone!!

Ya see:

  • Kathryn Jean Lopez of The Corner has a sharp reaction, which is that it probably wasn’t a good idea to open a third bottle of blush: “You Have Got to Be Kidding Me: John McCain just manically pointed out that McCain incorrectly said Petraeus is chairman of the joint chiefs. No one in his right mind thinks McCain doesn’t know who Petraeus is. Which is why Olbermann pointed it out.” WTF?
  • TPM gives us what we always want from TPM — a funny clip of Walnuts. Here he is not shaking Obama’s hand; he just points Obama to Cindy. “Here, you want a hand to shake? Shake the cunt’s.”

    UPDATE: Andrew Sullivan checked his DVR of the debate (to be used for his masturbatory purposes later) and finds that there was, in fact, a handshake somewhere. Typical case of the “gotcha media journalists.” We’ll keep this clip up though because why the hell not.

  • Andrew Sullivan, who debated in college, says this was a DEVASTATING MONSTER NUKE in favor of Obama: “This was, I think, a mauling: a devastating and possibly electorally fatal debate for McCain. Even on Russia, he sounded a little out of it. I’ve watched a lot of debates and participated in many. I love debate and was trained as a boy in the British system to be a debater. I debated dozens of times at Oxofrd. All I can say is that, simply on terms of substance, clarity, empathy, style and authority, this has not just been an Obama victory. It has been a wipe-out.It has been about as big a wipe-out as I can remember in a presidential debate. It reminds me of the 1992 Clinton-Perot-Bush debate. I don’t really see how the McCain campaign survives this.”
  • Oh screw it, that’s enough. Most other people are just quoting the same two people too.

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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74 comments

  1. Slabgorb

    Yeah, sad that in retrospect, the first presidential debate was the only fun one, and that was just because Jammacain showed up.

  2. stew

    Obama is winning all the focus group polls, but to be fair McCain is way ahead in Drudge poll–so it evens out.

  3. spencer

    According to Andrew Sullivan’s DVR, Walnuts and That One did shake hands. According to my DVR Rocco keeps dancing on Dancing with the Stars.

  4. facehead

    I hate to be serious, but the debate was so boring it got to me.

    I’m suprised Andrew Sullivan thinks it was such a devasting win
    (what flavor of ANAL BLAST was he drinking?), I’d say Obama just barely won, mainly because he was simple and straightforward and boring the way politicians should be, and McCain just seemed a wee bit tired of it all (which he should be, Obama’s gonna win).

  5. HuskyMescan

    [re=125792]Rielle Hunter[/re]:
    Dont get me started. The lotion is already out because of the new snorgtees models.

  6. OzoneTom

    What?!?!? The Wonkette server is still up?

    I’m gonna go buy a Powerball ticket. And bet it all on black.

  7. snott

    Peggy called it. Praise Jesus, maybe the citizens are finally paying some attention to ACTUAL ISSUES

    PN: The most qualified? No! I think they went for this — excuse me– political bullshit about narratives –

    CT: Yeah they went to a narrative.

    MM: I totally agree.

    PN: Every time the Republicans do that, because that’s not where they live and it’s not what they’re good at, they blow it.

    MM: You know what’s really the worst thing about it? The greatness of McCain is no cynicism, and this is cynical.

    CT: This is cynical, and as you called it, gimmicky.

    MM: Yeah.

  8. gradgrind

    You know who’s even more annoying than Whitey McLiverspot? Just one American, but the teevee found her — that undecided voter in the Soledad Room who complained because she didn’t get complete health care policy breakdowns in a 2-minit answer format. Grow up and get yerself an Internet of yer own, moran. You can, like, READ stuff on it. Yeah, she looks older than even Peggy Noonan, but Internets come in large type versions, too.

  9. economywine

    Oh sure Walnuts!, make yr. Cunt shake hands with The Terror…

    Jesus what a pussy.

    USA!! USA!! USA!!

  10. azw88

    When he said “That one”, I expected Marlo Thomas to come waltzing across the stage with that mindless smile…

  11. Harold_Ignoramis

    I couldn’t believe what I heard when McCain said: “That one.”

    And at the end of the debate didn’t shake Obama’s hand. WTF.

  12. Rush

    [re=125794]stew[/re]:

    That’s because the only people who complete the Drudge survey are 181 bitters in Harrisburg PA.

  13. azw88

    [re=125813]economywine[/re]: Yeah, why does john mccain hate his wife??! Maybe he thinks she’ll get a black disease and die, leaving him all of those houses to bounce between, which he will need to do, since he was all set on living in the one house wifey couldn;t buy him…. That little white colonial number @ 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

  14. McCain'

    [re=125816]HuskyMescan[/re]: Brit Hume doesn’t masturbate, he has a young and able-bodied boy from Regent University to jerk him off. It’s all about extra credit, you see.

  15. WonkaBee

    There’s a most uncofortable looking John McCain in a pic on the WasPost site: http://www.washingtonpost.com/ caption is: “Sen. Barack Obama and Sen. John McCain shake hands following their debate in Nashville. (Reuters)”

    Conclusion: Barry had a joy buzzer in his hand. THat’s why Walnuts! steered him to Cindy

  16. AngryBlakGuy

    …wasn’t there some rumor or something out there that said that “Town Hall” style debates were better for WALNUTS! Then why did Barry just kick his ass and take his lunch money?!?!

  17. McCain'

    evidently Jonah Goldberg was aroused by McCain’s performance tonight:

    I thought McCain’s close was about as good as he gets. Honorable. Decent. Serious. Manly.

  18. Democratica

    [re=125806]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Word.

    “That one” is going to be the next President of the United States, you sick old man. If you are nice to him, he might make you Ambassador of East Jesus, Alaska.

  19. AngryBlakGuy

    …the highlight of my night was when Barry pretty much told Brokaw, “fukk your time limits you little dip shit”. Or at least that is what I heard in my head.

  20. spoliator

    I don’t care if they shook at some previous point in time. McCain snubbed him on national television and shouldn’t be surprised people think he’s an asshole. Would it have hurt him to shake Barry’s hand again? Or is he only allowed to touch a black person’s hand once per day?

  21. WoundedVeteran

    HAVE YE SEEN THE WHITE WHALE….HE ATE MY LEGS…I USED TO BE SIX TWO…EJECT….EJECT….EJECT…..Will this dream never end….

  22. Dave J.

    CHECK THIS OUT: The GOP actually thinks “That One” is a winning issue for them!! Holy crap, I can’t believe it. From Politico:

    A Republican official emails, on background: The most memorable line of the night belonged to John McCain. McCain pointed out that “That One” vote for the 05 energy bill. Look for Republicans to note in coming days that “That One” also voted for higher taxes at least 94 times; “That One” has associations with unrepentant terrorists, etc…

  23. AngryBlakGuy

    …Barry is a pussy, he want “safe nuclear power”. Real men eat depleted Uranium for breakfast and shit out weapons grade plutonium by dinner!!!

  24. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    So, how long until Republicans start calling for Sarah Palin to be the head of the ticket.

  25. Dernyul

    [re=125851]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Some dude on CNN just bemoaned the fact that she wasn’t there to answer Obama. Shit is already afoot. And shit is gross.

  26. spencer

    [re=125847]Dave J.[/re]: You know what? I have to say that this might be a brilliant move on their part. Imagine if every stupid thing that McCain said became a slogan instead. “Only a true maverick can’t be bothered to count his houses.” “Knowing nothing about the economy means he is open to new ideas!” etc.

  27. druranium

    [re=125843]hubris[/re]: pretty neat. Google even suggested “that one mccain” for me. WALNUTS!

  28. Democratica

    [re=125842]Rush[/re]: yeah, that was kinda sad…. but how hilarious is it that mccain let it go? that’s some poor reflexes there!

  29. Mr Blifil

    “OK, OK you won fair and square and rather than shake your hand I’m going to give you my white woman.”

  30. Mr Blifil

    Is it just me or is Andrew Sullivan’s take on the debate suffused with a certain homoerotic energy?

  31. Fact_Chucker

    When Andrew Sullivan says “I love debate and was trained as a boy in the British system to be a debater,” I think we all know what it means. And it involves bicycle sheds, 13 year olds with their shorts around their ankles, and cricket bats.

  32. WoundedVeteran

    I just took two Viagra and bit my hamsters head off…John McGoo is my hero…he is so cool…I have a collection of his snot….

  33. Acmadeninejgaaad

    (Facehead) Sullivan’s got a point. In all seriousness, this town hall circle-jerk format was supposed to benefit McCain – but it didn’t in the end…because Walnuts! is just an old racist coot.

  34. accidental_tourist

    What was with McCain’s breathing? It was like when somebody asks you a question and you’re scared to death and you’re shaking inside and it makes your voice all quivery even though you’re trying to sound all brave and stuff. Or maybe he was just winded. He must’ve walked all of 10′ tonight. Bless his heart, that’s why my son’s off in the Mideast tonight….marching so McCain doesn’t have to.
    (In case anyone thinks that’s incredibly mean, it’s a parody of what Palin said to a heckler today).

    So the big bone he threw the poor middle class tonight is that he will renegotiate $300 billion in bad mortgages? Lawd have mercy, after just doling out $700 billion, that won’t go over too well. Isn’t that like a bailout on top of a bailout? Dumb butt. And as Obama pointed out, what good does a refinanced mortgage do if your last three jobs were outsourced (or something to that effect).

    The AP was quick to pick up that McCain lied when he said Obama would mandate health care or fine those who didn’t have any.

    I would like to have asked Senior McCain: How can you suddenly be interested in cleaning up the planet, then brush aside as almost silly Obama’s concerns as to where the waste from 100 new nuclear plants would be buried? How do you propose to have nuclear without waste burial? Dumb butt.

    Overall impression: Obama said a few things even the most ardent supporters haven’t heard before; relaxed, smart, very smart, natural, cool under pressure, born to be president (ial).

    McCain: Could hardly walk (bless his heart), winded easily, very strained and nervous, said the same things I’ve heard him say since the early primaries more than a year ago, quite phony, and in a word…batshitcrazy.

    Ok, now I can sleep. Night all.

  35. Schilde

    “It seems Senator McCain”…is an absolute genocidal lunatic whom cannot wrestle this ape-shit nation from the only viable candidate but go get ‘em Wolf one of the last remaining idiots out there whom still isn’t on board with the Establishment…

  36. trojanjustin

    So I really enjoyed when McCain didn’t hear the question about which of the three things was more important, he shouted out “WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN!?” or something like that. He sounded like an especially old fool.

    I was depressed that McCain didn’t do the loud “HEH” thing that he did after each sentence at his rally the other day.

  37. shortsshortsshorts

    The Live Blogs end so abruptly that any Paultard could come in here and destroy you all, slowly, from a bible-basement situated in eastern Idaho.

  38. druranium

    [re=125934]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I missed the paultard epidemic here. I saw bits and pieces so I know it actually happened but it looks like a troll here and there is all we’re gonna get now. Also, regrets if i offended you asking if that were a thong or a pee stain on your shorts. it catches my eye every time i look at it
    idaho is a scary place. montana is the liberal eastern coast of idaho.
    [re=125913]accidental_tourist[/re]: BATSHITCRAZY is my favorite adjective for John. Goodnight to you, I am just coming down from work and getting to my wine (bless its heart).

  39. Bob Hopeless

    Sullivan’s right. Walnuts was all hunchy and blinky, roaming the stage with meandering answers and grumpy troll-like disdain for Obama. Terrible presentation. To me it felt like Obama delivered the final knock-out during the Pakistan exchange. Totally owned it. McCain’s response was just pitiful as well. Game’s over as far as I’m concerned, my friends.

  40. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=125963]druranium[/re]: Do you have beach front property in Montana? I’ve been looking myself, but all I can afford after the last few days is in Saganaw.

  41. Cape Clod

    [re=125851]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Go over to The Corner. They already are. She’s going to be the big winner for the Republicans in this election. Unbelievable, but some have already written this one off and calling for her to head the ticket in ’12.

  42. Terry

    [re=125969]Bob Hopeless[/re]:

    I agree. There was something wrong with the way he was standing and walking, and it’s not the war injuries. We’ve seen him with those all his political career.

    He looked whithered, mean, and only half present.

    I think he knows he’s going to lose, too.

  43. slomojoe

    [re=125830]sanantonerose[/re]: [i]“Brokaw calling himself “the hired help” was the pinnacle of this debate.”[/i]

    Well, that explains why the McCains had to double their budget for housekeepers in the past couple of years.

  44. slomojoe

    [re=126001]Cape Clod[/re]: Palin would likely not survive the GOP primary, in my opinion – those guys are far meaner than the Democrats. They’d just roll all over her with her scandals and separatist associations.

    I think there simply is no way the Republicans will not pick Romney in ’12, especially if the economy is still in the doldrums. On the other hand, if things are getting better by then, then it’s unlikely any of the younger front-runners (Romney and Huckabee, standing in for the corporate and wingnut base, respectively) would really want to run against an economically successful President Obama. So perhaps she and Giuliani could fight it out. A mudwrestling match between Palin and Giuliani in drag would be awesome.

  45. Beans

    [re=125829]facehead[/re]: The graph.

    I’m not really sure what that meant, but for Wonkette to be ranked higher than anything else using any criteria makes me feel better about wasting so much time on this stupid site.

    BTW–If a screen could merge CNN’s debate squiggly lines, green for girls, yellow boys, with MSNBC’s red, blue and whatever–Rep, Dem and Ind, lines–I wonder what would happen? One set of squiggly lines by themselves are hypntic–I don’t remember a thing anyone said during the debate–could world domination be achieved (at least world domination of the homes that care about this crap) were basic cable to merge the squiggles and reduce us all to pollbots?

  46. juan pueblo

    mccreepy’s touchy feely show didnt seem to work, maybe the clammy hands had something to do with it.

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