Wonkette
Oh boy howdy this has been a bunch of yammering interspersed with Tom Brokaw complaining about how long the yammering has been going on. Did you miss some of this important blah de blah? Well here they are in serial fashion: Part I, Part II, Part III, and that brings us to Part IV. If this were Star Wars, we’d just be getting to the good stuff. For example, after the jump you will find a little clip of John McCain calling Barack Obama “that one.” Now onward, onward.
This whole debate has been John McCain tremulously snickering and breathing awful thin breaths into his microphone while Barack Obama perches on his stool with a serene little smile on his face. What does this Obama know that we don’t? Why is this man smiling while the rest of America weeps? Oh hell.
10:01 PM — McCain: Barack Obama does not understand, my friends, my friend.
10:02 PM — Hopey: Yes, I do not understand how retards have been allowed to run this country for nearly a decade. Heroic and honorable troops, extraordinary debt of gratitude, &c.
10:04 PM — What are the McCain and Obama Doctrines? Sarah Palin will be asked this question in her next interview with Charlie Gibson.
10:06 PM — MY FRIENDS MY FRIENDS. Oh John McCain. Did he say “this terrible clam base, we say never again.” He wants a cool hand at the tiller, and that is why he will be voting for Barack Obama.
This McCain fellow is so unpopular that even when he says “Petraeus” he can’t goose up a little interest from the undecided voters of Ohio. We must not exacerbate our reputation, he says.
10:09 PM — Katie asks, Can we treat Pakistan like the new Cambodia? Obama says Sure why not. He also says “Pockystahn,” like an elitist. And “Tollybahn,” like a terrorist. Kill! Crush!
10:11 PM — Come Mr. Tollybahn, tolly me banana! We must use Petraeus’ strategy, the same strategy but different. The undecided voters of Ohio are really not terribly swayed by this. Tom Brokaw says, “I’m just the hired help here,” and Obama says, “You’re likable enough, Tom.”
10:13 PM — “Senator McCain suggests that I’m green behind the ears.” Huh? McCain interjects with some angry/nervous little remark. He is like the only guy at the party who doesn’t drink…making awful interrupting jokes while everybody else is just trying to enjoy themselves. The crack about bombing Iran was just a funny little quip with a war buddy, which maybe Obama doesn’t understand, because FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN.
10:18 PM — Honor and victory! Not in defeat! “We’re not going to have another cold war with Russia.” Because maybe we will have a hot war with Russia! Oh Jesus he comes out with that fucking KGB-in-the-eyes joke. Now all he has to do is talk about how the approval ratings of Congress are down to relatives and paid staffers or whatever.
10:21 PM — Senator Obama, you have 20 seconds to answer this question because John McCain wasted a bunch of air recycling jokes he has told 400 million times to sadly clumped gatherings of retirees in Bingo halls from Baton Rouge to Boca Raton. Obama says, “I wrote a memo!” He has spent a lot of time the past few years, writing many memos and letters, which were ignored.
10:23 PM — And and and! Energy, making mischief. Hmm, mischief and naked aggression. Sounds hot. Hotter than this snoozefest. Brokaw says, “Simple yes or no question,” and then asks the most provocative meatheaded warmongering question ever asked by a journalist.
10:25 PM — Question: How much do you love Israel? A lot, or a whole lot?
10:26 PM — The old stinking corpse line…the uncommitted voters of Ohio are not fans of the stinking corpse. MY FRIEND. He is now talking to some other guy sitting next to Terry Shirey like he thinks he’s Terry Shirey. All baldies look alike.
10:27 PM — Barack Obama also says THANK YOU THANK YOU for your service and all that. “I have consistently said that…” Apparently this is one of Obama’s “tells.” It means the opposite, you see, which is to say, Obama once suggested it would be fantastic if Iran got a nuclear weapon, and he would personally fellate Ahmadinejad in the public square.
10:30 PM — Ooh Noonan-esque question! “What don’t you know and how will you learn it?” Obama says, “scrimpin’” and then goes into his stump speech. (Secret answer: Obama can listen to a Mozart symphony once and then immediately transcribe the entire thing, without flaw. Which is to say, He does not know all Mozart symphonies yet.)
10:32 PM — My friends, I do not know the future, and I will learn it by continuing to live for the next 30 days or so. (Secret answer: John McCain’s last and most dramatic campaign gesture will be to stroke out, onstage, in the third debate.)
10:33 PM — “I know what it’s like, I know what it’s like.” This is supposed to sound like the voice of seasoned experience, but it just sounds like a carping supercilious old fool telling everybody how he knows more than them. And that’s all folks thanks for playing!!!
10:42 PM — Here, go look at Ken writing some more stuff.
The reaction line is flat whenever Walnuts tries to criticize Hopey. Note to Walnuts: Try something else.
I’d like to lock Brokaw and McCain in a room and see which one is pregnant when they get let out.
Who knew that Brokaw had such a talent in being a time-nazi…
my friends….
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Please, let this thing end soon. Put Walnuts out of his misery.
We are on Foreign Policy already? When do we get to discuss Obama’s commie friends and McCain’s Nazi friends?
This is like watching small claims court.
I think I recognize those chairs from the IKEA dining section.
“That one” looks like he’s up to something….
we are the only nation EVER to be a bringer of GOOD! EVER!
*THAT ONE* - - what the f**k does that mean? Racist undertone anyone?!? He’s been hangin’ too much with Palin’s KKK friends down in Flow-rida
McCain wanders around like he can’t find the dessert steamer at the Old Country Buffet. It’s creepy.
Obama Doctrine? McCain Doctrine? Yikes!
Oh, lordy. Tom, your questions suck. Obama doctrine. Pleeease.
The Obama Doctrine? The McCain Doctrine?
In what respects, Tommy?
Has McCain looked at Obama yet? Or is he still unwilling to acknowledge that there is a black person on the stage with him?
Obama doctrine, McCain doctrine… IS THERE A DOCTRINE IN THE HOUSE???
Hopey is a little too intellectual for this genocide stuff…. channeling Dukakis?
Oh, I don’t know. I like this format. I like to see one candidate actually move gracefully while the other lurches around like a drunk penguin.
Doctrines, eh?
Commissions! We need commissions!
Earmarks, earmarks, earmarks!
McCain - “note to self - never use the phrase “do the math”…lost 90% of the audience…”
Wonder how McCain would look in that “Travelocity” troll costume…?
P.S. Senator Obama - Luv ya. Don’t think preventive medicine or EMR’s will help reduce
healthcare costs at all, though.
If we had done what obama wanted… WE WOULDN’T HAVE FUCKIN GONE IN!!!
McCain: if you say “my friends” one more time, I’m gunna smack the half of your face that’s left.
Did he just say we sould have had a whiter war?
The McCain Doctrine: Never leave Iraq!
Hey, McCain isn’t wearing a flag pin! Why does he hate america?
Walnuts “Tom, I love you so much I’m gonna take you behind the middle school and get you pregnant”
Does that fact that McCain said he needs hair plugs mean that he’s going to call himself a cunt?
…enny ol’ feller kin tell ya, when th’hemmeroids flare up, y’jess cain’t sit down…
McCain will bring our troops home in victory! Dead, but in victory!
Nixon couldn’t bring ‘em home “with honor”. What makes you think you can, Walnuts?
“Senator Obama would bring the home in defeat. I’ll bring them home in 70 years.” FTFY, Walnuts…
Says my 30-year-old wife: What the fuck is a tiller?
Walnuts, stop snorting back the snot and just blow your nose already. You’re grossing us, dood.
Cool hand John! CNN wiggle is not buying this.
Waiting anxiously to see which candidate will be rickrolled.
Quit bringing up Reagan, he and nancy hated your fuckin, philandering guts!
aren’t we an occupying force in Iraq and the only way to “win” is to not be there any more. Do we have a quota we have to meet on how many iraqi teens our troops Whoop at?
McCain: “I will bring our troops home with victory, honor and a song in their heart.”
McCain withdrawls and blows his wad on Petraeus’s face/tits.
HOLY SHIT MCCAIN IS A VAMPIRE!!!
McCain: I’ve been in harm’s way all my life!!
I relive it every night! I am still in prison, in my own special way.
…McCain Doctrine = Kill ‘Em All!!!
Oh? Soldiers are your first priority? What about when they become vets?
Creepy. Why is Walnuts tying our current predicament to VIETNAM?
Issues, anyone?
The only tough decision you have to make, Bud, is from which state to give your concession speech.
Follow-up: Does a tiller have something to do with moonshine? Or corn husking?
A cool hand? It’s those blood thinners again.
Yeah I been combatin all my life, and I can kill our young uns too!
he said exacerbating!
Did either one answer that question? This is a boring format.
McCain Doctrine, Part II: Listen to me, or Marines will die!
It’s my considered opinion that Obama is winning the Holy Hot Hope-Filled Shit out of this debate. Somebody needs to check out Fox later and see how those guys spin it. Somebody besides me.
“I know those situations.” I know this. I know that. I know I have to drink.
Back from symphony…’ette *really* needs a .mobi iteration as it was hard as hell to read while in the hall…
Also, this “my friends” is seriously beginning to piss me off, primarily because I am reasonably certain he is A) not my friend and B) being *really* condescending when he says it…
Jesus, when’s Tom going to ask “Betty or Wilma”?
Katy bar the door against terrorists.
McCain: “exacerbating our reputation.” Nice.
Who else is waiting for the evil old fuck to actually sit and get comfortable in his chair for a few minutes, then cackle as he’s done several times now, and bust out with, “Young black fool… now you will pay for your lack of vision!”
Cue Emperor Palpatine lightning from the fingertips.
Translation: American lives are more equal than other lives.
The McCain Doctrine: Drop speakers over Iran, that just says my friends on a loop until everyone commits suicide.
Barry loves the way he says Pakistan.
So about that CNN graph that was just pegged at the exact top among women for a full minute while Hopey was talking about health care: b0rken, or just in need of rescaling in light of ass-kicking?
Pakistan, Cambodia and Vietnam. McCain’s head will exploded.
Thank God I chose Maverick to drink to, not “my friend:” I would be be throwing up in my hand like a stock broker about now!
Call me Mr. Tibbs: Ha ha ha! Nice “30 Rock” reference!
Ohhh. tying things to VIETNAM WAR! a set up question for mcCain
If this was to be McCain’s ‘Make or Break’ I think he’s . . broke?
“we must say never again to a holocaust.”
Well — there goes the neo-Nazi vote.
president reagan my hero?!?! hahahahhahahahhahahahahahhahaha…..hahhahahahahhahahahahaa fucking cambodia dick
Holy crap. Katie’s question is the best one that has been asked by anyone all year during any of the debates.
I’m plotting to kill Americans right now if they don’t get off the fence and choose a candidate.
In what way can the pundits possibly say McCain even held his own against Barry during the first hour?
Translation: my friends = can’t remember yer name.
You know this debate ain’t near as exciting as the VP debate.
…Barry is really doing the whole professor thing right now! Completely breaking down the whole Pakistan issue!
MY FRIENDS!
McCain is losing so badly he should crash another plane to get sympathy.
LuxMentis: I second that emotion.
Talley-bahn!
WTF is a “tiller”? Is that an old prsn thing?
Walnuts knew Teddy Roosevelt!
Teddy Roosevelt!
Did Walnuts just call Brokaw Katie???
Oh, McCain, you WISH you carried a big stick.
Groggy Walnuts brings in Teddy. Walk stiffly and carry a limp stick.
Sheesh! How many heros does this guy have?!
FINALLY, McCain references a peer…..Teddy Roosevelt.
his hero is the kid he used to babysit, teddy? mad cute walnuts.
Why won’t Obama remind that women that our incursion into Cambodia led to many great movies? I think McCain will hit this one out of the park with his fabulous Col. Kurtz impression.
And wait a sec… I thought Walnuts’ hero was Reagan? Who’s this Roosevelt douche?
my hero is Teddy. hey I thot it was Ronnie. Can you have 2 heroes? gosh
Wait, I thought Reagan was his hero, now it is Teddy Roosevelt. FILP FLOP
McCain knows what Teddy Roosevelt said cause he was there!
Osama, can you just moon us in one of the secret cave tapes?
OBAMA will KILL BIN LADEN
Walnuts, Teddy Roosevelt would have thought you were a prick. He wasn’t coddled by lobbyists, and in fact was the first president to have a black man to dinner in the White House.
My hero is a person named Teddy Roosevelt. I knew him when he was six years old. I was, of course, 678 at the time.
Leave FUCKIN’ Teddy Roosevlet out of this!! Even if you knew him.
I just got home. Did I miss anything?
He wants to announce that he wants to attack Pakistan?
Old News.
I want to know what John McCain do about Spain.
Who is this Obama fellow and why do I want to listen to him talk about foreign policy all night?
We drove the Russians out of Afghanistan with the freedom fighters… you know BIN LADEN and HIS FRIENDS!!!
Obama needs a big stick.
McCain is mad that Obama said we would attack Pakistan because he doesn’t know a good Beach Boys’ song that rhymes with Pakistan.
Wait, so is his hero Reagan, or Roosevelt? Big difference there.
First his hero was Reagan..now it’s Roosevelt?..
omg magoo’s one sentence synopsis of afghan history…. just a few glaring holes….
all this other shit aside… who else is drunk right now?
Wow! Telling the Taliban we might be coming after them is wrong? They wouldn’t know otherwise?
McCain kind of looks like he’s doing the robot sometimes.
“Use force, but talk softly, and carry a big stick.”
…if the CNN debate meter was WALNUTS! EKG, they would be putting a toe tag on his cadaver right now
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Brokaw is the “hired help.” haha
MAMMY
carry a big stick? i think obama has that covered! ha! ha! heh. heh… ugh… gay.
SayItWithWookies: He just wrote off Florida, apparently.
9/11 = “The situation that required us to undertake the Afghan War?!” Geeze I feel like I’m listening to a crazy man at the bus stop.
Barry can’t pronounce Taliban or al-Qaeda correctly or they’ll think he’s a MUSSELMAN. I’m surprised he gets away with knowing how to say Pakistan.
tom brokaw is the hired help. sad.
Brokaw is losing it. And he’s EXPENSIVE hired help!
Did McLame really just bring up the whole bit about Obama announcing his ‘intentions’ to bomb Pakistan??? Will Barry go down “Bomb Iran” Road???
Heckuva job, Tommy. You smarmy douche. (Not that I envy him his job.)
Yes, Tom. No one came to the debate to hear you. We are deeply, deeply sorry. Cripes.
“If he’s gonna talk, I WANNA talk too!” WAAAAAAA!
I think Obama is starting to win this. It took him some time but he got the upper hand on healthcare.
On foreign policy, he’s also making the more convincing case.
This debate started badly but its beginning to improve, in the same way that not being repeatedly hit on the head is a definite improvement on being beaten over the head.
Bomb Bomb Bomb Ir-ANN, not EE-rahn, Hopey! Speak merkan!
Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran! So much for McCain’s big stick.
HAHAHA Barry just punched McCain in the cancer cheeks with his bomb Iran song.
McCain: “just imagine for a second that you’re a country…”
Hopey is bitch slapping methuselah!!! Damn he sexy!
Oh snap. Here we go.
Obama just bitch slapped Brokaw on the whole time thing. F off Brokaw.
it’s so painful when no one laughs at mccains attempts at humor.
Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran…it’s getting down and dirty now.
Damn, the gloves are off now… Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran
Uh-oh. Brokaw’s completely broken down.
To follow up my own question, why yes, he DID go down “Bomb Iran” road.
Bomb-Bomb-Iran = not speaking softly..he he.
HOPEY LEFT THE GLOVES AT HOME
Pow! Pow! Pow! “This is the guy who said ‘Next up, Baghdad!’”
Oh F**k yeah Barry. Dive in the dirt.
Not true. So there.
“This is the man that sang ‘Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Iran.”
I don’t know about you bitches, but that’s a bullya in these here parts.
wow… walnuts REALLY wants his rebuttle…
Ohno McCain is pissed…I know what it’s like to do War stuff!
Ohio uncommitteds either fell asleep or they hates McCain.
Reefpilot: Workin’ on it! You betcha!
AAAAAAnnnd he knows how to get bin Laden too! Wowzers, is there anything Walnuts DON’T know how to do?! Golly gee!
He hates going to — what? Fucking stupid things he’s done? Understandable.
…doan look now, but, knee-kay’s down bout almos’ five percent tonite, it bein t’marrow in knee-kay land… it’s not even lunch thar, mebbe it’ll close up a liddle bit…
Whomever wants to be president raise your hand over your head…oh sorry Walnuts.
McCain “Not true… not true. I HUMMED bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb iran…
Hey Mr. Tally-Ban, tally me banana…..
I’ll get him, I know how to do it!~ I’ll put out the secret Walnut scent and he’ll come a runnin!
IF YOU KNOW HOW TO GET HIM, WHY HAVEN’T YOU SHARED THIS FOR THE PAST SEVEN YEARS, BITCH?
McCain knows how to get bin Laden, but he’s not telling!
What the hell, Walnuts???
Ah…Walnuts’ charming story of joking with a fellow Civil War vet…nothing funnier than Iran. I LOL’d just thinking about it.
I want equal time!!!!
Joked with an old veteran friend in front of a large crowd…. what a line of shit mcCarpetbagger.
“I know how to do that.” Everybody DRINK!
I like how Barry is smiling at McCain like he’s retarded.
I’ll get Osama, my friends. But HOW is a big old secret.
What a loon.
“I know how to handle these crises.” I hazh to drink nowsh.
I’ll get him, my friends!!!
He’s not gonna telegraph his conscious. Huh?
OK: first he rambles on about overhead projectors, now he’s talking about telegraphs. TOO OLD TO BE PRESIDENT.
Obama is wiping up the floor with the old fart.
Mr President, I have a plan! (Dr. Strangelove)
McCain: “I’m not going to telegraph my punches.”
…wtf? Way to telegraph your decrepitude, gramps.
This is a mess. It’s like that community college debate where that hippie professor mooned everybody……
telegraph?? wtf. …—..
“I’ll get ‘him! He’s in a nursing home in Afghanistan. I know those nursing homes!”
he said telegraph?!?!? what is that your only mode of communication? no no john mccain knows about the internets.
CRAP! SKS, you beat me to the punchline during the reload!
McCain: I’ve acted responsibly, especially if you count fisticuffs on the senate floor responsible!
Brokaw is worse than Gwen!
Why isn’t he telling us the things he knows? He knows how to get Bin Laden, how?
He knows how to fix Social Security, what was that again?
This is incredibly boring, I should have drank for this one.
donotronix: BUT HE WAS TORTURED!
McCain’s horrible sneer-smile makes aborted fetuses cry.
Taking bets: How many people think that Bill Kristol will say this is McCain’s best debate ever?
This is great news! ElmoCain knows how to get bin Laden and he is going to do it! And I’m sure all you punkasses are going to criticize him for not doing it before now, but he DOES not have to telegraph his intentions to you so JUST SUCK IT.
Obama has not only schooled McCain but he is schoolin Brokaw too!
Oh fuckin-a — McCain’s gonna flail on the Afghanistan question.
nailed the old fool on the bomb-iran/north korea jab
Telegram for Grampy.
There must be some big competition amongst debate moderators and Brokaw know’s he’s not in the top three.
I think McCain’s ass broke. He caint never sit down no more.
If McCain has the simple and quick solutions to these huge problems (social security, Osama bin Ladan), why hasn’t he told Bush what to do?
It’s so refreshing to spend an election cycle NOT talking about gay marriage, abortion, and windsurfing.
Walnutz just said Barry is correct about some things!
Damn it! When did General McKernian replace General McClellan and the Army of the Potomac in Afghanistan? And why wasn’t I informed!
So McCain just announced that he has a SECRET PLAN TO WIN THE WAR!
That’s forward-looking straight talk from the future!
…he said barry was right about something…
Johnny-Mac relaxing before the debate: http://arizona.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/07/mccainhat.jpg
And leave Petraus out of it! HE’s not the fucking’ Messiah!
McCain: “I heart General Petraeus. The end.”
I don’t even know what is going on at this point, I just know I have a glass of rye in my hand. I suppose that means it all works out okay.
Jesus H. Christ…the fucking surge again?
NATO in a speedo!
Or aborted windy gaysurfing.
WTF are you talking about, McLame?
Normal social political lives.
Like the Palin family, for example!
McSame is flatlining on the CNN monitor.
This election is feeling kinda over to me. Of course, it doesn’t matter because of the whole Apocalypse thing and Jesus is coming back before his birthday to be President of the World.
it’s the same strategy. but very different. very very different. but the same. Yeah.
Come on, only about 10 minutes left. When are we going to hear about Obama recruiting suicide bombers for William Ayeres?
Did McCain just say we’re not going to have another “Cold War with Russia”?! And now he’s talking about the KGB?! APPARATCHIKS! : drink :
P Drizzle: he had his hand in his pocket a lot. maybe because he was holding his own?
Q: Senator McCain, this question is from the internet…
A: What’s the internet?
McCain, Petraeus, get a room.
Russia’s behavior is outside the norm? Really?
I’m not sure the Cold War ever fully thawed.
Oh crap! It seems that ElmoCain did not receive Condi’s memo about the new Cold War with Russia. Minor kink in the learning curve.
Norms of behavior? Like invading other countries?
Yeah, that’s not reckless at all to call out Russia’s leader as KGB.
chapka: Bin Laden is in Laos?
Ohio is hot for Putin!
Things are so dandy in Iraq. I think I’ll move there… oh, wait… apparently the State Department is still classifying Iraq as a hazard pay assignment.
OH HAI! More Munny!
And hai, WTF is that K-G-B thing? Is that an old prsn thing? Walnuts sez it all the time.
No cold war with Russia, we are going to KICK THEIR ASS!
Good Russia question. McCain is looking forward to having another cold war. He knows how to win cold wars.
Show moral support for Georgia. “There, there, georgia. There there.”
Naked aggression is my middle name.
I looked into McCain’s eyes and saw four letters: AARP.
Naked aggression….Oh yeah baby!
Has anyone mentioned that the white of tom’s eyes are the same color as his face skin? he looks like a bad chinese knock off of a Col. John “Hannibal” Smith action figure.
McCain looks a lot like Bob Barker.
McCain: “What you need to know about your average Russian is that if you give them bottle of vodka to suck, or a farm animal to fuck, and they are just fine.”
I was listening during the last bit of surge talk from Walnuts but not watching. Anyone watching CNN that can tell me how that played with the Ohio voters?
The Russians do understand…. that’s why they are on the phone with Hopey this week and not you.
Moral support for Georgia, a nation that represses free press…. actually that is McCain/Palin’s policies HERE!!
Moral support will stop Russian aggression!
Until they renounce Ted Turner SCREW GEORGIA!
What did you see when you looked into Putin’s eyes, McCain? Jesus, I want to jab my eye with an ice pick every time I hear that.
Sara, will you be Helen Archer to my Francis Phelan? I don’t know how I can make it through the coming finacial apocalypse otherwise.
Oh yeah, there’s always the Sterno…
dude, WALNUTS! is soooo excited about Russia. He SOOO wants to be all about the cold war again so Dolph Lundgren can have a career comeback.
Moral support. Go, Georgia! You can do it!
Economic leverage? Has he seen the DJIA close?
MoonshineJoe: in my case, a glass of newmark abbey viogner.
quite nice.
Yeas give em concrete!
Didn’t Karl Rove go to Goergia just 2 weeks before all that shit started over there? C’mon, McCain sent him over there to stir the pot and get the ‘Cold War’ term back into circulation..
@chapka - Ha like Bartlet’s secret plan to fight inflation.
This non-debate is putting me to sleep. happy post-debate bloggin!
United with our allies in Europe. Except for Spain. I don’t trust anyone speaking Spainish unless they are cutting my lawn.
This aggression will not stand, man. It will not stand!
Barry us talking all sleepy time. nap breaks.
Johnny Zhivago: No bad he’s not as big on neutering & spaying.
Walnuts is finished. Not even Diebold can save him now.
Will someone please take Tom Brokaw’s watch and put it somewhere he can’t see it? I have some locations to suggest.
Hopey and Russia do not go together well.
unnarrator: …hemroids…
everybody’s tired I hope it ends soon drink on drink on
SuperRounder: Not well, and Barak not doing well, either though…
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Sarah-Six-Pack say something to the effect of invading Pakistan?
Naked aggression, as told to us by John McCain.
Good god.
sanantonerose: From what I hear, Obama has a big stick.
That was not a yes, or a no.
Those mischievous Russians!
Oh geeeez. Now Brokaw brings up Reagan and “evil empire.”
Did anyone else see that guy sleeping?
Oh those mischievous Russkies!
Lionel Hutz Esq.: …they didn wanna telegraf it…
OldNutz forgot to explain how Hopey was wrong about Russia / Georgia. I assume McOld KNOWS HOW TO show Russia that there are consequences. He’ll go there and debate Putin into a fatal laughing fit?
Oh Hopey! Why didn’t you just say no?
“Maybe” hah! That was funny.
persiflage: Three words: Early Bird Special
Yes or no…..
Thanks for creating a situation where there’s nuance and context, Tom.
Fucker.
Booooring!
I think this debate just killed Josh Marshall:
>>10:21 PM …
Brokaw: YES OR NO! *breaks down, sobs*
Russia wants to get their hands on our nu-clear wessels.
Way to think out loud John!
Evil Empire…. Senator Palpatine grinning!! He likes the distraction, while he builds his plan to control the Republic
Tee-hee…a “firm” America.
sanantonerose: EXACTLY. I am the wife of a Navy combat vet and he laughs out loud every single time McCain says he is going to take care of the vets and that the vets (supposedly) know this. McCain has repeatedly voted against veterans’ issues time after time after time. It’s disgusting.
Oh here we go–the Israel question. Who do ya love, honey?
Is Russia a new Evil Empire:
McCain: “Maybe”
Now that is straight talk.
I will iron your curtain.
Terry Sherri? And it’s a guy? Sad.
I looked Putin in the eyes and I saw myself.
Suckin up to the ex-navy guy.
White bald navy guy.
If Iran attacks Israel…wait for approval from U.N. or go to war?
Ewwwww….Walnuts touched him.
“Don’t touch me, old man!”
Russia wants to get their red hands on our nu-clear wessels.
As often as Obama agrees with Walnuts he can’t reciprocate. Is that just the fighter pilot in him or is he just a sorry, worthless asshole?
oh oh. Israel question. Florida hangs in the balance.
Please tell us how much you love Israel!
Do not touch the chief petty officer.
Wow, I just got 1:25 worth of a power nap. Did I miss anything? Like, for instance, McCain lying like a whore?
Creepy hand pat from Walnuts to the very nice man in the pink shirt. Yuck!
Stinking corpse! :drinks:
Oh, it turns out whether we have another cold war all comes down to what John McCain says. If his will commands it, it will be so.
Last questioner a Navy plant…. They will go back int o the green room afterwards and go al ‘Tailhook’ on each other’s asses
“I’m the son and grandson of Navy Admirals, but everything I learned was from a CPO.”
McCain throws his father and grandfather UNDER THE BUS.
no cold war with Iran we are going to KICK THEIR ASS!
WAR WITH PERSIA! Yaaaaaay!
I call plant on this bald guy.
The Israelis will want to bomb any Arabs. Or anyone else they think poses a threat.
did he just say something about a stinking corpse?
The Holocaust? Look, McCain, we all know you were THERE for it, but really?
The guy that asked the Isreal question does not look rad in salmon colored shirts.
Yeah, McCain has the shaved head vote!
Ugh… “my friend” again. Call me shitfaced and call in sick to work tomorrow.
League! Of! Democracies!
/drunk
Those two shaved bald white dudes bring to mind George Carlin’s thoughts on how it really only looks cool on black guys.
Can we get League of Democracies t-shirts printed up?
It’s the League of Democracy again! To the Hall of Justice!
Geez, will somebody just call this election off and give it to Obama on technicalities or something. This is just painful to watch, even with the sound down.
It’s like one guy running for president and the other is running for seargent of arms for the local knights of columbus chapter.
“Without preconditions” “overhead projector” “840 billion in spending” “my friend” “that one” The senile soundbites just go on and on.
…ditions no preconditions no preconditions no preconditions no precon…
Actually, there is at present a holocaust against the Palestinian people.
You know, these debates are much more boring when everyone pronounces “nuclear” correctly.
Sara, I appreciate the Baton Rogue/Boca Raton thing because I work for a direct marketing company and we seem to keep getting orders in for those two cities and frankly I can never tell them apart.
FreshCliches: Under the aircraft carrier.
Whyyyy is Barry boring us? Why he do dis?
Ohh tying Israel to the Holocaust.. kissing up to his lover, Tailgunner Joe…
Use all of the tools at our disposal…. man, Ohio likes the idea of prevention rather than attacking Iran
What’s with McSpunky and SaraP’s holocaust fixation, anyway?
Well, my bets that the last question will be “Senator Obama, are you Rev. Wright’s love child?”
Ohio likes the answer but it’s not enough for Bubbe.
FreshCliches:
“I’m the son and grandson of Navy Admirals, but everything I learned was from the 893 people who finished ahead of me in the Academy.”
/fixed that for you
Brokaw just totally cut Hopey off. Asshat.
And do such talks without preconditions include a confession to the Viet Cong?
A Zen-like question: what don’t you know? Well, McCain knows everything, so….
BIG POINTS for drawing the “talk/no talk” and new-cue-ler weaponry parallel….
Right, Brokaw, warn us about the zen-hippie question. We don’t want to go all commie or nothin by listening to it.
…Michelle looking hot as usual
Obama kills on the engaging the world question.
Why did that Navy guy not just ask McCain why his very own voting record regarding veterans’ interests is CRAP? Aren’t we just hearing the same exact shit we heard at the last debate? Why is no one calling McCain out on his bullshit record on taking care of our troops and vets?
ohhh michelle u lucky girl you
Nice wife save, Barry.
Michelle Obama: Stunning.
Nice to see Michelle get the shout-out while sitting next to McCaskill…keeps MO in play!
Single mom, raised by grandparents, scholarships, food stamps…naw, he’s not like us.
“I’ll get Osama bin Laden, my friends. I’ll get him. I know how to get him. I’ll get him, no matter what, and I know how to do it.”
“I’ll start by suspending my campaign for a week, flying back to Washington, and haranguing the hell out of the intelligence community for not getting him yet. My friends, I’m pretty sure it will work.”
McCain will be clueless on how to answer the last question..dang, wish he would have gotten it first..money says another flatline joke
His grandma was scrimpin’.
Is that like pimpin’, only done by grandmas?
Rad HR style question mrs, New Hampshire. Right now McCain is sucking so hard that Dino Rossi has let his mind wonder to getting himself some Arab Goggles later tonight in Denny Park in Seattle…. God help Washington state.
Three shots for life story time! Please go whiskey, people. I don’t trust the clear liquors.
WOmen love Baracks roots…. Men do not.. they want a hunter-killer!
The best commentary of the night will always be the lordly “boner” standing desperation fear comment.
Barry drops Gs, schooled by Bible Spice: Scrimpin’!
SayItWithWookies: Where’s “The Tick” when we need him?
Michelle looks good
FreshCliches: I really believe he always hated his forebears. He wanted to be in the Army.
McCain reminds me of Abe Simpson.
…”My friends” again?! I swear to drunk, Im not God!!!
What does McCain not know?
The difference between Sunni and Shiite.
is it me or does the old guy look especially pale???
also why didnt navy guy say thank you mccain thank you for filibustering my GI bill that would have given me ….. gracias muchacho. you ashole
McCain: I’ve spent my whole life serving this country, so you sons of bitches owe me!!!
Walnuts: “What I don’t know is
a) where the hell John McCain (v2000) went
and
b)how the hell I lost this election. They promised it to meeeee!!!
What are these new, unmapped countries?!
“What I don’t know, is what the unexpected will be.” Well, yes…..
what does that even mean?????????????? amercans lookin at maps blah blah blah
I’ll say it again….
If McCain took the gloves off tonight, they were Isotoners, at best.
I know what it is like for your Mom to dress you up in a skirt because she really wanted a girl.
Did he just admit that he doesn’t know where all the countries are on the map? WTF - is he tryin to upstage Palin?
Walnuts know what it’s like in “dark times”, like before Edison invented the light bulb.
John McCain doesn’t know what the unexpected will be.
I’m surprised he didn’t say “What I dont know is who Bronco Hussein Obamer is”.
WHA?!? I thought John McCain knew EVERYTHING! About where Bin Laden is, how to kill him, his grand plan. So is he now saying he doesn’t know anything about our future at all?!? Is this guy senile?
Memo to McCain - some Americans don’t even know where THEY are on a map. These are the dark times, my friend.
Oh that’s it, I’m abed. Obama fared better - not spectacularly, but better. So McCain loses tonight, and drifts even further away from his bid for the Presidency.
Guess what? Walnuts doesn’t know what the unexpected will be.. Ya think? That’s why it’s unexpected. Was that too Zen like?
Tiller! *drinks*
I’m waiting for Walnuts to start singing, “I believe the children are our future…”
McCain saying the same thing Obama said… whole life in service… only non government job he EVER had: A PR guy with his wife’s beer distributor… how fuckin hard is it to promote BEER!! especially in Phx here it is in the 90;s in January!!
And what I don’t know will hurt you! I know what it’s like to be a POW, and now have any… Did I mention that gook with the cross?
Another tiller comment, that’s cause he used to drive a car with one.
Wait, did we get a FIVE AND A HALF YEARS reference?
win for hopey
Oh crap — an “I know x” litany. Bye. It’s been fun being alive.
“I remember the dark times.”
So would I if I were also alive pre-Edison.
Tom Brokaw: I HATE YOU BOTH, I HATE YOU.
Steady hand at the tiller?
Overhead projector, telegraph, tiller.
3 old technologies for 1 old man.
concluding note from Walnutz = steady hand at the tiller
Walnuts wanders in front of the teleprompter. Yup, he’s Abe Simpson.
Okay… Tom Brokaw is officially fired forever.
So Tom can’t even close this trainwreck without a teleprompter?!?
Okay, Brokaw lost the debate.
And, Tom Brokaw, your books sucked!
John “p0wned by Obama” McCain.
Even Brokaw breaks out “my friend.” Dammit.
Gawd Tom is rude “You’re in my way!”
It’s time like these I miss Tim Russert…sigh…
Not dead. Getting sandwich. BRB. Barry Killed.
nater: Yeah, my thoughts EXACTLY! So much for the Modern GI bill. I guess that us McCain’s way of taking care of the vets.
ha ha David Gregory just said “big bone”
LOVE Michelle’s dress, as per usual. She might just be our most fabulous first lady of all time.
“I was born the son of a poor admiral…”
Yay, now it’s over and I can get serious about drinking. McCain was a pussy with his “My Friends” in Nashville. Not the Altman one I mean.
I gotta go purge now. Thanks for the laffs, everyone.
haha, David Brooks: “Well, the candidates have the old CD-roms in their head to spout out the answers.”
Cd-Rom? There’s a man in touch with the time.
OMG THE DRESSES THE DRESSES…
Hopey: WIN
Walnuts!: FAIL
Mighty Rex: right on
Ever notice how Cindy McCain is ALWAYS behind or following Walnuts?
“Kill him”
“Who”
“THAT one”
People getting their picture with Obama, no one wants to be seen with McCain..
CNN said John McCain hates Obama…….
McCain won’t shake Hopey’s hand. I can’t stand those people right Johnny?
When is the next VEEP debate? If one?
boring… ack. Which I guess is good. The market collapse will make things more exciting tomorrow.
In conclusion, Americans need maps. Advantage Rand McNally.
Whoa, really rude handshake fakeout by McCain there at the end!!!
wrenchdevil: Side effect of the drugs…
Why did McCain begin his closing by paraphrasing ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space?’ “We are all interested in the future, for that is where we are going to spend the rest of our lives.”
I am watching the feed on NYTimes and the audio just picked up Tom Brokaw:
“Yeah, I know, well you could see what I had to deal with there, I kept looking for a trap door I could spring or something… they said 2 minutes here, 1 minute there… yeah right. Well, just the nature of the beast I guess.”
Memo to Tom: suck it up.
uh, mcpain lost and obama won. what else is new? mcpain really pissed me off when he stated that health care is a responsibility and not a right as obama says. i am an american and did not get prenatal care until the 3rd trimester, with a newborn who will not be seen by her doctor until her insurance program “healthy families” decides whether or not blue cross or blue shield is the one to foot part of the bill. i am so fed up with how us citizens are treated it makes me want to puke all over mcpain and his 5000 dollar tax credit. vommmmmmmmm!!!
Well, Fox News is going to it’s normal panel of three Conservatives and a Moderate. They all seem vaguely depressed that no one asked about Obama’s commie terrorist friends.
Don’t bother shaking hands, Hopey. It’s Tennessee.
Love it, old white guy in his navy veteran cap getting his picture taking with the Obamas
James Carville’s astute analysis: “These two fellas just don’t cotton to one another”.
Even Bill “I fuckin hate public education” Bennett even thinks Obama won….
Walnutz looked and sounded O.L.D.
Did McCain already go to bed?
Ok I love her but Michelle’s tookis looks big in red. Neutral colors, girlfriend.
any of the CNN folks watching a baseball game this time???
Debate score Obama 2 McCain 0
obama is sexy.
right on Atoz..old, pale, creepy guy…
I love how McCain is nowhere to be seen and Obama’s still swarmed with people wanting to take pics with him.
Hopey is smoking these bitchtastic Republicans.
Note to the AIG overlords, I didn’t get my invite to the soiree by the way…
middleamerican: he had to pee. jerk.
magic titty…have a seat …let’s have some coffee….
John “Caligula” McCain and Sara “I loved moose before it was cool” McPussy, are not going to name the road to nowhere the Alaska MLK BLVD…primarily, the road goes nowhere and, John McCain can’t spell MLK. Go from there……