Liveblogging The Boring Economic Town Hall Depression Debate, Part IV
Oh boy howdy this has been a bunch of yammering interspersed with Tom Brokaw complaining about how long the yammering has been going on. Did you miss some of this important blah de blah? Well here they are in serial fashion: Part I, Part II, Part III, and that brings us to Part IV. If this wereStar Wars,we'd just be getting to the good stuff. For example, after the jump you will find a little clip of John McCain calling Barack Obama "that one." Now onward, onward.
</p><p>This whole debate has been John McCain tremulously snickering and breathing awful thin breaths into his microphone while Barack Obama perches on his stool with a serene little smile on his face. <i>What does this Obama know that we don't?</i> Why is this man smiling while the rest of America weeps? Oh hell. </p><p>10: 01 PM -- McCain: Barack Obama does not understand, my friends, my friend. </p><p>10:02 PM -- Hopey: Yes, I do not understand how retards have been allowed to run this country for nearly a decade. Heroic and honorable troops, extraordinary debt of gratitude, &c. </p><p>10:04 PM -- What are the McCain and Obama Doctrines? Sarah Palin will be asked this question in her next interview with Charlie Gibson. </p><p>10:06 PM -- MY FRIENDS MY FRIENDS. Oh John McCain. Did he say "this terrible clam base, we say never again." He wants a cool hand at the tiller, and that is why he will be voting for Barack Obama. </p><p>This McCain fellow is so unpopular that even when he says "Petraeus" he can't goose up a little interest from the undecided voters of Ohio. We must not exacerbate our reputation, he says. </p><p>10:09 PM -- Katie asks, Can we treat Pakistan like the new Cambodia? Obama says Sure why not. He also says "Pockystahn," like an elitist. And "Tollybahn," like a terrorist. Kill! Crush! </p><p>10:11 PM -- Come Mr. Tollybahn, tolly me banana! We must use Petraeus' strategy, the same strategy but different. The undecided voters of Ohio are really not terribly swayed by this. Tom Brokaw says, "I'm just the hired help here," and Obama says, "You're likable enough, Tom." </p><p>10:13 PM -- "Senator McCain suggests that I'm green behind the ears." Huh? McCain interjects with some angry/nervous little remark. He is like the only guy at the party who doesn't drink...making awful interrupting jokes while everybody else is just trying to enjoy themselves. The crack about bombing Iran was just a funny little quip with a war buddy, which maybe Obama doesn't understand, because FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN. </p><p>10:18 PM -- Honor and victory! Not in defeat! "We're not going to have another cold war with Russia." Because maybe we will have a hot war with Russia! Oh Jesus he comes out with that fucking KGB-in-the-eyes joke. Now all he has to do is talk about how the approval ratings of Congress are down to relatives and paid staffers or whatever. </p><p>10:21 PM -- Senator Obama, you have 20 seconds to answer this question because John McCain wasted a bunch of air recycling jokes he has told 400 million times to sadly clumped gatherings of retirees in Bingo halls from Baton Rouge to Boca Raton. Obama says, "I wrote a memo!" He has spent a lot of time the past few years, writing many memos and letters, which were ignored. </p><p>10:23 PM -- And and and! Energy, making mischief. Hmm, mischief and naked aggression. Sounds hot. Hotter than this snoozefest. Brokaw says, "Simple yes or no question," and then asks the most provocative meatheaded warmongering question ever asked by a journalist. </p><p>10:25 PM -- Question: How much do you love Israel? A lot, or a <i>whole lot?</i> </p><p>10:26 PM -- The old stinking corpse line...the uncommitted voters of Ohio are not fans of the stinking corpse. MY FRIEND. He is now talking to some other guy sitting next to Terry Shirey like he thinks he's Terry Shirey. All baldies look alike. </p><p>10:27 PM -- Barack Obama also says THANK YOU THANK YOU for your service and all that. "I have consistently said that..." Apparently this is one of Obama's "tells." It means the <i>opposite,</i> you see, which is to say, Obama once suggested it would be fantastic if Iran got a nuclear weapon, and he would personally fellate Ahmadinejad in the public square. </p><p>10:30 PM -- Ooh Noonan-esque question! "What don't you know and how will you learn it?" Obama says, "scrimpin'" and then goes into his stump speech. (Secret answer: Obama can listen to a Mozart symphony once and then immediately transcribe the entire thing, without flaw. Which is to say, He does not know all Mozart symphonies yet.) </p><p>10:32 PM -- My friends, I do not know the future, and I will learn it by continuing to live for the next 30 days or so. (Secret answer: John McCain's last and most dramatic campaign gesture will be to stroke out, onstage, in the third debate.) </p><p>10:33 PM -- "I know what it's like, I know what it's like." This is supposed to sound like the voice of seasoned experience, but it just sounds like a carping supercilious old fool telling everybody how he knows more than them. And that's all folks thanks for playing!!! </p><p>10:42 PM -- Here, <a href="https://wonkette.substack.com/p/liveblogging-the-postpartum-depression-debate-part-v">go look at Ken writing some more stuff.</a></p>