Wonkette
The New Great Depression hobo pictured here is Joe Biden, getting on the hobo train from Washington to Delaware to tend to his adult children. Joe Biden therefore cannot debate tonight, so lil’ old Hopey will have to debate against the old fart in his place. Who can pretend he will fix the economy more to these town hall people? Are any of them hot? No they are fat, and Barack Obama will drop air bombs on them or whatever is it Palin says. (Here are Part I and Part II.)
9:30 — John McCain wants to cut wasteful defense spending so as to keep important defense spending, such as the War on Greece. Oops, that was supposed to be a surprise!
9:31 — Barack Obama wants to make everyone sacrifice like they did after 9/11, but not, as George W. Bush asked, to make everyone go out and shop. How is shopping not a sacrifice? We could be, you know, staying inside and eating pork rinds instead.
9:32 — He says everyone personally should think about how he or she can save energy. The CNN Ohio voters LIKE THIS? Jimmy Carter said the same thing to people 30 years ago and people just thought he was some kind of mean peanut-molesting fag.
9:34 — Barack Obama says we need to Cut The National Debt, and that means more than earmarks. In other words, he will get Hank Paulson to buy up your shotguns to sell them at profit to his terrorist friends in A.C.O.R.N.
9:35 — Obama disagrees with McCain’s proposal to cut all government spending in the middle of a depression. “What’re we buying anyway with all that money, poop or something?”
9:36 — Ha ha, McCain unleashes one of his NASTIEST ATTACKS EVER, by saying that he wants to nail Barack Obama’s Jell-o to the wall — not easy! Like most of his other attacks tonight, the Ohio Focus Group immediately flatlines. Tell Better Jokes.
9:37 — Barack Obama wants to respond, leading to the fortieth lecture from Brokaw about how they LIED TO HIM when they said they wanted these rules. “Fuck you fucks, I knew LBJ” Brokaw says.
9:38 — [Brokaw cries about dumb ineffectual rules for another minute]
9:39 — Entitlement reform, again. Barack Obama will cut taxes for 95% of America! (HE WANTS THE POORS TO THINK HE LIKES THEM.)
9:40 — McCain stands up in the middle of Obama’s turn, grinning! What happened was, “Teresa” gave him a big boner and he had to sit down and think about ugly things (his crippled first wife, Carol, is his special de-bonerizing thought), so he was really happy when he got to stand again.
9:41 — McCain: “Tom, I’ll answer your damn question, HENNGHH HEHH HENNGHHHH.” Tom hides because McCain’s breath emanates very far and smells like cat piss.
9:42 — Another black gal has a question for McCain, about the Environment. McCain will clean it while SIMULTANEOUSLY grunting about earmarks, alone, on his private ranch.
9:45 — Barack Obama wants to fix energy and the environment because of the Terrorists, who buy our air debt from China and Japan. He will have nuclear power, too! He agrees with John McCain about something, who knows, he just loves saying that he agrees with John McCain about stuff.
9:46 — Someone finishes answering a question, meaning Tom Brokaw has to yell at them both again. How do you teach those who don’t want to learn? Answer: catty sarcasm. Brokaw basically asks them if they’ve heard of clocks, which can be very useful — they tell the “time” — and especially useful during, say, TOM BROKAW’S LAST DEBATE BEFORE HE DIES. John McCain says “no”, he doesn’t know about these new Apple time gadgets or whatever, and thens asks Tom to act like a crazy retard with hands flailing to tell him the time instead.
9:48 — HEY-O, McCain points at Obama and says “THAT ONE,” as in “THAT ONE [supported it]” or “THAT ONE [is on all of your welfare!]”
9:51 — Time to discuss health care. Should it be treated as a commodity? Yes! Capitalism! Obama says “Nah nah, I’ll get you health care” and then Ellen the lesbian comes out and they dance and he starts shooting 3’s from way downtown into Brokaw’s trashcan along with his vomit.
9:53 — John McCain: Obama will give you Mandates, for your children, and then all of America’s haberdashers will be low on inventory. McCain says he’ll give a $5,000 tax credit to eliminate the employer-based system so people can have more choice. Then everyone can buy individual health insurance, the most expensive and exclusive market for needy consumers for anything on the planet. Oh god and then he brings up that “gold plated plans” crap — you know, the ones that some people need but which cost $20,000 on the open market! IT’S YR CHOICE BABY.
9:56 — Obama: “Nah nah, no McCain stuff.” Explains how he disagrees about literally everything, John McCain said, EVERYTHING. Health care should be a right! Blah blah you can cross state lines to get health care, my cheap care. Tom shuts him up after a while.
9:58 — McCain randomly stands up and laughs about Obama not answering some dumb question he wanted to hear. It was, “How old are you, you jackhole?”
9:59 — Oh, it’s foreign policy time. McCain’s “home turf.” Let’s let silly Sara liveblog this one, thankee. GO HERE.
mccain will not let america forget about OVERHEAD-PROJECTOR-GATE. this will be the end of obama’s campaign.
Horray, Part 3!!!!!
“That wasn’t the call to service the American people were looking for.” Yeeha! Points to Hopey.
Do we drink whenever Brokaw reminds them about time, the ultimate exercise in futility?
Hopey is killing Walnuts with the energy talk. The irony of an old guy being beaten by a discussion on energy.
Grease is bad. But do we need to go to war against a shitty musical?
HAHAHAHA. Brokaw knows that everyone is drunk, but it’s because of teh wine, not teh easy credit.
Walnuts is brilliant … depending on what question he’s answering he’s either freezing everything, or increasing programs to address everything at once, or ruthlessly cutting back on a sprawling government … guess that’s why he’s a maverick!
Go Hopey!
Brokaw is going to bust a cap in someone if they don’t start sticking to the time limit.
donotronix: This campaign just got dirty. You can see McCain’s gloves on the floor in the corner.
HAHAHA That kid is 14!
“living high on the hog” = obama using palinspeak.
What is the deal with McCain’s tie??? It’s like 4 feet long!
Nailing jello to the wall!!!!
…did Barry just threaten to cut someone with a scalpel?
Jello shots?
McCain is hatin on Hopey’s tax plan! It ain’t gonna work.
Obama’s performance: Slam Dunk.
AnnieGetYourFun: I’m drinking every time McCain says “I know how to X” and then doesn’t go into any detail. He already knows how to win wars, fix the economy and do something with housing. I’m gonna be on the floor in about two more questions.
I nailed Jello to the wall after a Dead Kennedy’s concert. It wasn’t that tough.
Servers are getting slower. Liz, jiggle the wires!
Nail Jello to the wall! Nail your ASS to the wall, WALL-NUtS!
The story so far: the debate is evenly split - which translate into an Obama win, because McCain has to win to boost his ailing campaign.
CNN people-meter: Good old “Flatline” McCain…
Obama’s secret that I don’t know? That wasn’t the secret I was hoping for. TWO penises - that’s a secret I want to hear.
Question from the audience –> Senator McCain, with my house having been foreclosed, may I sleep in the pool house at your Sedona golf hideaway?
Sen Obama’s secret: HE’S BLACK
walnuts is starting with the whoppers.
I want CNN to add two more lines to monitor McCreepy’s heart rate and respiration.
Hopey should remain standing when Walnuts gets up.
And Hopey should rest his elbow on Walnuts head.
McCain — “nailing jell-o to a wall.” Folksy fail when you stumble on it, shorty.
Nailing Jello to the wall! Jello! Who even eats that anymore? Except for invalids, the very young, and enfeebled elderly folks in nursing homes…
mccain is still mad at hoover for raising his taxes.
Voyou Charmant: I still say it’s his colostomy bag.
…WoW, that whole tax diatribe that WALNUTS! is spitting just flatlined the CNN debate meter!!!
How about that health care tax, Nuts?
i bet you could nail jello to a wall if you tried hard.
honest to god(allah), enough with this my friends shit.
Hey McCain? I looked it up my taxes would go up under your plan. It would go down under Obama.
Who is a credit refundable?
I think John McCain said Obama opposes prohibition.
why is everyone behind mccain cocking their heads to the side like dogs?
…Brokaw is such a bitch!
Brokaw laying down the law! I’m taking a drink for that one…
Slammed by Tom Brokaw! Yeah.. keep em in line.
chascates: He should really keep that on.
“We have a question from the internet. I’m going to shout it because it’s in all caps.”
Brokaw smash!
Brokaw is flipping his wig on the time problems!
Hopey sounds presidential. McCain sounds residential… as in old age home.
Give Congress a date!
Damned, I hear she aint a cheap date, either! Loves pork!!!
AnnieGetYourFun: That’s change I can believe in.
AngryBlakGuy: That damn meter is more interesting than anything Walnuts said.
Wait wait wait. Obama doesn’t get time to answer back because of time, but Tom can make up questions of his own whenever he wants? wtf?
What?! Tom wants to know if they’ll give a “date certain” to reform Medicare and Social Security? What happens if they don’t meet it? No, dumbass — I’ll work on it until it gets done.
I have a feeling we’ll be hearing more throughout the night about all kinds of “Obama secrets that you don’t know about.”
Obama: Well, I wouldn’t give them a date in the way you mean it, Tom. But I’m free Friday at 9…I’ll bring flowers, they can bring the entitlements and tax cut votes.
chascates: and Leon’s getting laaaarrrrgerrrr
McCain looks like he is going to body check Obama.
Grinning grampa munsterMcCain
Hopey: You say it. 300 BILLION tax cut to corps– McCain’s plan/
Jesus, Brokaw is an asshole.
Nuts thinks he’s got Hopey right where he wants him.
Obama decides not to answer the question and talk about taxes instead. Come on.
Brokaw just walked off the set.
McCain: that fixed, insincere grin. Nightmare Fuel.
Do a shot for every black person in the room….4.5?
azw88: That’s why I prefer to mail ‘em bacon.
Tell him hopey. Make it a sound bite for crissake: “TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS IS DEAD, AND MCCAIN KILLED IT WITH DEREGULATION.”
…WoW, Barry is really jabbing tonight. How long do you guys figure before WALNUTS! goes critical mass?!
Barry said “high on the hog”. He’s a sexist. Talking about Palin.
Oh! McCain’s gonna answer the question. First time for everything!
Not hard to fix Social Security: PRIVATIZE THE FUCKER!!
If Walnuts is so smart; why did he get captured?
When is the arm wrestling portion of this event?
Our Wonderful Ronald Reagan… that’s what we need more of! Open the casket?
Yeah the fix for Social Security is to set up private accounts in the stock market….not!
He says everyone personally should think about how he or she can save energy. The CNN Ohio voters LIKE THIS?
Yeah, this struck me as weird too. I remember when real ‘Muricans scorned the idea of energy conservation as either gay or Communistic. Al Gore has really won this debate, hasn’t he?
Jello…dig against Cosby?
Wonderful Ronald Regan!
Walnuts stop name dropping, you sound like some sort of Democratic party groupie.
We need more Reagan and O’Neill? You’re a heartbeat away, Walnuts.
Social security is not that tough, neither is peace between Israel and Palestine, or curing AIDS…
What a load of bullshit
Walnuts just said nobody likes him at all. Not his party, not the Dems, not anyone.
So, clearly, he’ll get SO much done if elected.
McCain = We all know what we need to do with Medicare: it’s complicated.
Elmer Fudd does not feel popular. I don’t really feel comfortable with a Prez with low self-esteem.
He saw it done in the Crimean War! He knows how to do it! He remembers the Great Depression!
hey, my friend, if you’ve got all the answers, out with ‘em already…
is the hush-tone magoo whisper supposed to be persuasive?
OMG! Have the smartest poeople in America come together! What a douche!
McCain’s soporific voice is incredibly creepy .. oh listen, rhetoric and record. That’s what we call poetry, folks.
Laughing: Let’s have the American people say, fix it for us.
You’re not that popular with anyone, McCain. The only reason anyone hangs out with you is because they want to sleep with Sarah.
Commissions are the answer to our problems! Commissions!
It’s so simple, all you need to do to fix social security is to sit down across a table. The real problem was just a lack of tables.
“I’m not too popular with my own party.” Yeah that’s because you’ve threatened to beat half of them up.
who is this tip o’neil walnuts keeps bringin up? i wish queen latifah was moderating, everytime brokaw speaks the bitter meter takes a dive.
Yes, that’s what we all need! More Reaganomics.
Barry’s expression: “I pity you.”
McCain flatlining again……
FreshCliches: Funny!
“Obama’s never taken his party’s leadership, but I have” yeah, of course you have… you’re a fuckin republican
My friends, my vision, my kamf.
Why does this feel more boring than the first?
I propose we leave all complicated issues to the Justice League of America.
McCain just shharted himself
Very little love from the bitters in Ohio for McCain.
Murph: Spastic bladder. McCain will solve it.
Every time McCain says “my friends” he reminds me of the dude in “Gone With The Wind” promising people thirty acres and a mule. I guess that makes sense, since he was like 30 when that movie came out.
God. If Nuts says “my friends” one more time I’ll have to have my stomach pumped!
Oh boy. Environmental issues. DRILL HERE DRILL NOW.
Geeze — can he speak in complete sentences? Tax cuts. Reach across the aisle. The great Ronald Reagan. We can do that again.
Climate change: I’m for change.
Green jobs: My wife used to work in a greenhouse.
Wait, Michelle Obama is undecided?
A sister! now we’re talking and he can’t remember her name! BWAHHHH
…I really hope you guys aren’t using “my friends” in your drinking games tonight.
A black woman asking about green jobs…… Color to a black and white issue
According to CNN, Ohio men hate everyone.
The CNN line looks like McCain’s heartbeat.
Damn Republicans tried to privatize social security - in the market, which is crashing. Why doesn’t Hopey talk about it
Lieberman@! Palin, watch your back….
LIEBERMAN! *retch retch retch*
NAVY! *drink drink drink*
“SSN is easy. All we need Tip O’Neil and Ronald Reagan to fix Social Security.”
Wait; ain’t those two dudes dead? What the hell are we going to do now? Dang this stupid “My Friends” drinking game. I can’t even remember who’s died or not.
persiflage: Is this similar to McCain’s idea of a Democracy League?
Damn Brokaw, this isn’t Lord of the Flies, noone has the conch. Stop whining about the rules!
“Joe Lieberman and I have carved our initials in a tree. It was very sensual, my friends.”
If walnuts says ‘my friends’ one more time
…did WALNUTS! just accuse Barry of wanting “safe nuclear power”?! LoLz
He’s looosing it!
it’s like a 1000 year old angry hobbit is shouting at me about his vision of the future…
McCain: Safety in nuclear power is for pussies!
McCain is right!!! There are thousands of jobs to be created in a catastrophic nuclear cleanup!
yeah nuclear power is so safe I have had 4 malignant melanomas and I am still alive.
I don’t think “nuclear power” is the green answer that young lady was looking for.
The cringe factor on Walnuts is almost as high as on Palin.
He’s dying out there.
Walnuts isn’t doing so well with the CNN line thingy.
So, McCain’s last answer in a nutshell:
“Unlike that asshole Obama, I’m actually going to answer the question! Everyone knows what the problem with Social Security is, and exactly how to fix it! So I’ll do that! Whatever it is. I’ll get to Medicare in a second. No, I won’t.”
McCain sounds like Jon Stewart doing Bush!
“I was on a nuclear warship, and look at me! I’m a stunted half-cripple who has cancer of the everything! Oh . . . wait.”
Why does Walnuts get so quiet when he’s fibbing?
I will not feel pity for this pathetic sad idiot until January 21st. I will not feel pity for this pathetic sad idiot until January 21st. I will not feel pity for this pathetic sad idiot until January 21st. I will not feel pity for this pathetic sad idiot until January 21st.
What a snoozefest. Can’t we make the last debate a cage match?
McCain was more interesting and engaging than Obama on Medicare but he is starting to talk waffle on the climate issue.
Overall, this is a poor debate consisting of two repetitive, humorless men contradicting each other.
I think he meant internets. And everyone knows that was Al Gore.
How do these people just sit there listening to this drivel with a straight face? I’d be rolling my eyes and sighing heavily…
OBAMA MENTIONS COMPUTERS! McCain writes this down. Com..pu…ters…
Nuke power safe and clean, just ask the people in Chernobyl and Three Mile Island!
obama just mixed up the history of the internet with the history of the personal computer, costing him thousands of nerdvotes.
Oh my gosh. My buddy is enforcing the “Joe Lieberman” double shot call to the “My Friends” drinking game. My friends; I’m not sure I can hang much longer.
“I’ve called for investments in solar, wind, geothermal…”
I think he winked at me!
So far Obama is rockin the casbah!
McCain will drill there, and he’ll drill now….
this is gonna be gross.
Like I said in the last thread…Dubya looked like a genius on the floor compared to Walnuts. I’m embarrassed for him. Sheesh.
McCain tried to DRILL HIS WAY out of the problem, but his ex-wife said it didn’t work….
oh snap!
Hopey is so sexy….and he is not even winking
When McCain talks about drilling he actually means to open up the prostate.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, TOM!
Shut up Tom and get on with it!
He just smacked the shit out of that “Drill Baby Drill” bullshit.
Haha. All the questions for McCain so far have come from African Americans. Obviously, Brokaw is racist, against McCain for picking them.
oh boo hoo tom gees whiz shucks!
McCain sounds scared by the lights Tom mentioned.
Tom: It’s a simple questions.. Can you please follow the fucking rules and shut up when the light says so?
Who is the grumpiest old man: Brokaw or Walnuts?
“Tom, just give me the finger to signal me. I’ll pay attention. Cunt.”
Huh?? What the hell kind of question was that about a bomb or garage?
The Ohio Happy Meter plummets when McCain attacks Obama.
McCain thinks nuclear energy is green. That’s rich. But Obama “thinks it has to be safe or something like that.” Yeah something like that.
Brokaw bitches about the time. Drink.
Planetariums, Planetariums, Planetariums! May they live forever.
Brokaw wants to bomb garages in Silicon Valley?
Wait, why is the old guy answering questions?
…goodies?
Time is the essence.
John and Sarah are fucking up my liver with their insistence upon repeating the same trite shit. Honestly, I should never have added “my friends” to the drinking game I am playing solo.
Holy crap, tom. SHUT UP.
someone has to put up a mash-up on youtube of all of brokaw’s time freak outs.
it’s just golden.
So Brokaw has been fussing about the timing regularly. Is it just me, or has he only complained right after an Obama answer, never after a McCain answer?
I’ve never seen Brokaw this intense. About anything.
All kinds of goodies! He makes that sound so…delicious and tempting.
He just called Obama “that one”. They hate being referred to that way. Them.
Walnuts called Hopey “That one!!!!”
That not fair. mccain doesn’t get boners anymore, unless pie is involved.
“Should we set a date certain to make alternative energy work — and if we don’t meet that, just go back to burning wood and whale oil?”
here it comes…… “festooned”…… drink!
Really? Solving the social security crisis is simple? How so? Oh. A blue ribbon commission to figure it out. Fuck you, dude, that’s a fucked up answer.
Barry is incredulous…and McCain is going below the 50% line on CNN.
oil drilling is vital so we can get that there gasoline in ten years or so….
That one. That thing over there.
Walnuts has to stop talking about goodies, or I’m removing Ciara’s first album from iPod.
“That one?!” Oh fuck.
SayItWithWookies: stroking out!
Did McCain just refer to Obama as “That one.”
why are there not any commercials in this shit? walnuts just referred to hopey as “that one” im going outside to smoke my duty free cigarettes now, hopefully the power will be out before i am finished.
Commissions! We need commissions!
He’s starting to exude “Eau de McCain”… an elixir of flop sweat, cream corn and Preparation H (thanks Bill Maher)
Again with earmarks…and the nukes.
Man, I really should’ve been drinking on “my friends.” I’d be unconscious by now.
Brokaw just pulled out an uzi and killed everyone in the room. What now, bitches?
GAH! 2 more “my friends…” At this rate, I might have to call in tomorrow….a case of presidential debate brown bottle flu…
Uncle! No mas! I now throw up at every “my friends”…
This townhall better turn into dance party at the end, otherwise this is just a bust.
My friends, you are my friends
Hellllllooooo blondie.
Should healthcare be treated as a commodity? Hmmmm.
Crow T. Robot: WIN!
Hey, I love this question! Should health care be treated as a commodity? Should Late Caopitalism continue unfettered? Calling Fred Jameson…
That one! fuck you old man.
I was on a ship. Nuclear power is clean. Don’t worry about cleanup or health risks. 3 mile island? Whatzit? I need a nap.
What’s with McCain and the Sicilian hand gesture while Hopey’s talking?
I hope the Meridith Baxxter blond on the right asks a question.
When McCain says “goodies” it’s really creepy!
McCain: In yer backgrnd, workin th claw.
demian: Apple pie. Cherry is for terrorists.
I want universal healthcare you guys…gimmme.
…did he just refer to Barry as “that one”?!?!?! LMAO!!!!
Why is McCain wandering around like a senior citizen lost in the mall?
Giveth and taketh, you go, Rev. Hope.
Why is walnuts wandering around in the backround??
I want my mammaries covered!
Yeah… “that one” what?
Is Tom snapping at Hopey?
Ohio men don’t care about mammograms or maternity. Jerks.
I love how McCain is wandering around the floor in a circle while “That One” is talking about health care.
Hopey looked at Walnuts when he said YOUR MAMMOGRAM and MATERNITY will be covered.
Liz, things are slowing down! Punch some buttons (mine, preferably).
What this bitch needs a fucking overhead projector.
Why is the old man walking around?
The Ohio independents LOVES the idea of having their pre-existing conditions covered by health insurance. I bet they all have herpes.
Is it just me, or is Walnuts! giving us the “thumbs up”…constantly.
score. on. healthcare.
Walk-in clinics? Niiiiice.
McCain looks creepy when he sort of limps over toward the folks who are asking their questions.
healthcare as a commodity, great idea…you know sometime it is more profitable to just let people die. noooo, don’t commoditize healthcare.
Government is Baaaaad. Unless I’m running it.
“Let’s put health records online….”
…so that everyone can hack into them.
Hopey very good on the healthcare. Neat the way he switched microphone hands so that the other hand could taketh away.
Did McCain announce he was not going to answer any of the questions in the beginning???
Just wondering.
Who loves Bush’s oil giveaways?
THAT ONE! THE BLACK!
Does Walnuts! sound like Bruce Dern to anyone else or is it just me?
John McCain needs to die already.
Yes, WALNUTS! Your wife orders her pills online.
Walnuts is pulling the classic C-student dodge: repeat the question to use up time.
He also appears to have confused Obama’s health care plan with Clinton’s.
McCain forgets every questioner’s name. Even when he is the first one to answer.
can CNN please refer to the line thing for what it is, a “bullshit meter”
i’m bored. does anyone have a good suggestion for a johnny depp movie that lasts oh, like 15 minutes until the pundits start talking and i can yell at the radio?
hopey? come on dude. i gotta go to MI to campaign for you this weekend. give me some lovin…
Walnuts says let’s give everybody 5 grand to buy insurance. His defense: “Why not??”
Mandates? Like, um, laws? Like, responsibility?
It’s great to go across state lines when you buy stuff… ask Eliott Spitzer!
Walnuts wants to put health care on the interweb to reduce . . . reduce . . . errors
I cross state lines for hooch and fireworks.
Did Walnuts call BO “That One”?
Crossing state lines, thats something I think about a lot for health care.
Senator Obama can fine me anyday… you know what I mean
“Lets have walk-in clinics.”
That’s where I get my vicodin just today. McCain’s futurist world is NOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!1
Hair transplants?!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA. God, he’s a bitch.
tax credits will solve all the worlds problems! Yay!
“In Arizona, you can take a bus to get cheaper prescription drugs in Mexico”
DID THAT FUCKWAD JUST DISS BIDEN with the hair transplants line?
“Errors, as they call them.”
“They,” here, meaning everyone who speaks English.
That hair transplant joke - painful.
Hair transplants, Sen. McCain? Yes, I’m sure where you come from that’s the most pressing medical need.
Across state lines to purchase hookers. Is that legal?
McLizard - for all your fly control needs
Hair transplant… for your bald nuts.
Hair transplant?
Yes, we’ll all be forced to “cross state lines” for our abortions after McCain/Palin’s next few picks for the Supreme Court.
OUCH! MCCain makes fun of hair transplants. LOL
Hair plugs ain’t gonna cut it, dood.
Ha! Did he just suggest Arizona’s health care is better than Tennessee’s? The state he is DEBATING in?!
John says Barry wants to give poor people gold plated Cadillacs.
I used to cross state lines to buy things. Now I know the error of my ways, thanks to three and a half years in a Federal penitentiary.
Screw the hair transplant McCain, go for a brain transplant.
How many Joe Six-Pack’s will get the jab at Biden about the hair transplants?
McCain wants gold-plated penile implants.
John McCain is a comedy killer. His punchlines are used by the Viet Cong to torture the lost airmen still in Vietnam.
What is with these shits and their refusal to have any government? Where do they think they are? Deadwood?
Gold-plated policies, like for members of Congress?
Hair transplants?
Take that, Biden (while you’re at your mother in law’s funeral).
Zzzzzz….huh? Hair plugs? Ack. Zzzzzzz
hair transplant joke………flatline
Hair transplants. I would not have believed that phrase would be used in a presidential debate.
I think my Cadillac Policy has been car-jacked!
Nathalie08: I believe he called him “The One.” Freudian slip or something.
Yeah I want to travel 500 miles to the state that offers better health care..
McCain’s batting 1000 for lame one-liners. Hair transplants — I might need one myself. Silence.
what about hair extensions??!!!
…Barry has that fukk you smirk on!
Think Walnuts crosses the state line to fill his Viagra ’script?
Healthcare is a right! Yay Hopey!
do i have to go to fucking arizona to see a doctor? That is retarded. Someone rapes this guys mouth out with soap.
No, no, Walnuts… it’s not that you’ll be fined, he said YOU’LL BE FINE.
Go Hopey!!!! It’s a right. DAMN RIGHT.
came in 10 minutes ago. Counted 10 “my friends”. Thanks, Johnny, for making drunk so quick and effortless.
SloppyCronkite: Or he’s slyly making a dig at Biden. Hmmmmmm….
Hahahaaaaaahahha! The Biden hair-plug joke! Could have been brilliant. But was awful.
Hopey brought his mama into it while smacking Walnuts around. Priceless.
why is McCain wandering aimlessly around the arena while Obama is talking, and hovering behind Obama at times? Creepy.
Just say, “hey, not everyone dropped their wife for a rich young hottie so they have to rely on other forms of health care.”
Obama is the only one talking like an educated, rational adult.
Oh, fuck yeah — Barry talks about his grandmother dying and spending her last months arguing with insurance companies. That’s actually something a lot of Americans can relate to.
The Merrimack was a nuclear ironclad?
You gonna fine me Obama? Tell me tell me?!
Obama was going for the Pennsylvania vote with the “high on the hog”. That was my dad’s favorite saying.
CivicHoliday: It’s those white crosses to keep him up this late at night.
McCain hates children!
This is really not that surprising.
will walnuts seriously sit the fuck down already? he’s such a troll.
Obama: Healthcare is a right. On that statement alone, he may win the debate.
fuck off brokaw. seriously. good god.
sure, McPain, Nukular power is the answer to all of our environmental problems!!
McCain is a comedy failure.
Uh oh. Quick, who’s the senator from Delaware. Biden’s gonnabe pissed!
YES! Tie him to BUSH!
Bitch, I can’t buy booze across state lines where I am. Don’t tell me that $5k will buy me cut-rate health coverage in Arkansas.
Itsjustme: I thought he said heart transplant.
OUCH. Hopey made fun of Arizona and cancer. Next up: Yo Mama jokes!
SHUT UP WALNUTS! YR THE ONLY ONE LAUGHING AT YR LAME JOKES!!!!111
Hahahaha, size of the Fine. McCain is a riot.
The size of the fine, dear friend, is more than you can afford on election day.
…Barry is pretty much telling Brokaw to take his time limits and blow it out his ass.
Can someone please explain to me what the fucking is going on with Tom Brokaw? I think his lack of moderating makes him look like he is totally in the bag for McCain. What a waste of his legacy.
Fuck it, Tom — let it go! Let them go all night if we have to.
THE FINE! WHAT’S THE FINE, OBAMA!?
Walnuts should stop trying the bad jokes…the audience isn’t permitted to laugh, and probably wouldn’t laugh even if they were allowed. It’s just crickets out there, mh friends.
Poor Brokaw’s about to combust on this time wasting debating stuff. Add in one more McCain joke and he’s a goner.
Damn; “My mother had to fight and die with insurance companies; McCain voted against increasing coverage of medical insurance for children.”
“Yea; John’s my bitch.”
Wow, McCain really isn’t funny. The fine is sending you to live in an Igloo in Alaska .
Peace-maker? You must have mistaken me for “that one”!
Does the guy on the front row look like Dwight Schrute to anyone else?
Oh sheesh, Hopey just dissed Delaware. Where credit card companies can screw consumers.
Two thirds through and McCain has not knocked it out of the park. Not what he needs.
the people can not remain stoic anymore…u gotta luff at the FAILIN
Walnuts repulsive lying hogman made a self depricating joke about hair transplants. He should have to pay for that out of his own pocket.
“Anybody hear about the fine?” vs. “Healthcare is a right.”
Yup, we shed blood for freedom all over the place. Too bad bloodletting doesn’t work, for the most part.
Yay! We made a desert and called it peace!
WE ARE PEACEMAKERS! Love ElmoCain.
I keep expecting 3 sets of white eyeballs to pop out of that intense blue background ala Blue Man Group.
“Much of that criticism is justified?” Eat THAT, Bill Kirstol, O’Reilly, et al.
Earth’s not flat ASSHOLE!@!@#$%^%^$#@ HAHAHA.
Yeah, I totally agree with magic titty. Brokaw can seriously fuck off.
I don’t know about you guys but I DEMAND my 900$ a month S.S. stipend when I get old!! My whole financial plan is hinging on it! Screw this we might have to get rid of entitlements!!
My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends My friends my friends my friends
There goes the Delaware voters. Both of them.
We shed Iraqi blood in defense of our and their freedom!
PLEASE say “Japanians” just ooooonnnne time. This is so hot.
my friends…and i trust you are my friends, please don’t hate me
because i call you my friends.
McCain wants gold plated hair implants?
AMURICA IS DA GRATEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…ain’t the retarment age fer jumpin jack mcnuggits lak rat about now? shoont he be warin a vest at wal-mart, greetin peeple er apprehendin shoplifters er sumpin?
Just a thought here, but given that AIG, the world’s biggest insurers just got bought by the Fed . . . are we going to create another crisis when all the of-sub-prime-health citizens like WALNUTS! get sick and die? And AIG, which did so well insuring corporations, does an equally good job estimating how often Americans will get sick?
McCain was wrong that “America is the greatest force for the good in the history of the world.” We’re actually the greatest force for projectors. Get it straight.
On the job training? Like Sarah Plain?
“supporting our efforts in Bosnia and Kosovo?!” Uh…he was against them.
Horray! Hopey turns the “don’t understand” thing against Walnuts.
…damn, did Barry bring his ass whooping stick with him tonight?!
I know what it is I hate about McCain, most of all. I figured it out. It’s that awful whistling sound when he talks, because his teeth are rotting because he is basically dead.
No one has the training to be president you putz! Only people who have been president have the training! Sheesh.
Walnuts just fucked up big time…judgement trumped “experience” last debate.
Oh, snap! Obama “doesn’t understand” why we invaded Iraq and left Osama bin Laden lounging around getting manicures with AIG in Pakistan.
‘he is right, i do not understand’ womp wink womp
Hopey no like war, men no like hopey
Wow. Now ‘NUTS is just plagiarizing Barry’s “He was wrong…” technique.
Ooh, Barry is finally starting to hit his stride now. The healthcare discussion really brought him to life. And I think he’s hitting the Iraq thing out of the park.
What the hell are those Iraqis gonna do with their surplus?
GO TO DISNEY WORLD!!!
wheelie: EXACTLY!
Wow, good answer on health care, on Iraq … I know I’m in the tank and all, but doesn’t it seem Obama is seriously kicking ass?
Part IV of Liveblogging is up, ya’all. Come on over!
Obamas comebacks make me happy:) I feel all warm and fuzzy inside
SayItWithWookies: His Mother.
*****GO HERE FOR NEW THREAD*****
http://wonkette.com/403345/liveblogging-the-boring-economic-town-hall-depression-debate-part-iv
The moderator has given up on the time-whine. Greatest Generation my ass. Tom Brokaw is a punk!
Uncommitted Ohio voters not moved by the Holocaust. Fuckers.
BO is doing great!
my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
McCain tried to cross state lines to buy liquor when he was stationed in Hawaii.
…McCain Doctrine = Kill ‘Em All!!!
McCain’s tie probably tastes like peppermint.
Dear Strappo,
Please do not use ElmoCain’s word’s out of context. It just distorts the whole debate. The rest of that quote should have read:
“…My friends.My friends. My friends. My Friends. My Friends.” I hope that clarifies that matter for everyone and you bastards will stop being so FREAKIN UNDECIDED.
McCain can’t sit because he s— himself. Duhh. And since he had no idea how this housing crisis started he obvi got screwed and now he’s going to have to sell (at least) one his McMansions to buy Depends for the next debate.
obamaslamma: To be fair, they’ve probably never heard about the Holocaust.
wow, one of the Tennesseeans is kinda hot
Presidential Debate Attendee Fashion Tip: Do NOT dress like a PUMPKIN if you are on the front row.
McCain’s weird breathy whisper is very “Come here, kid… want some candy?” Creepy old man.
McPain still think we fighting a Vietnam style war!
Walnuts also should have to pay back the government for that plane he wrecked in Vietnam. How does getting shot down make a guy a hero? Seems to me a fellow named Patton said something like: No bastard ever won a war by getting shot down and locked up in a POW camp. He won it by making some OTHER poor dumb bastard get shot down and locked up in a POW camp. Just my opinion.
Wait. I thought his hero was Regan?!? I’m confused.
5 minutes ago mccain said his hero was reagan, now it’s roosevelt. HERO-GATE.
What? I can’t wash my hands in Afghanistan? I am so confused. So if I get sick from this will I then have to cross the state line into Pakistan to use my health insurance? Please advise…
Walnuts wants a follow up too! Equal opportunity!
Hey I want my bucktooth fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nivR8LkSn1Q