Wonkette
Local Wonkette operative “Charlotte” (who is “home sick from work” today, so wish her a speedy recovery/death!) sends us this photo of her sink in Washington. It now only pours monster blood. This is something Jesus predicted would happen, in the Bible, and since Washington is a leading indicator of all “Apocalyptic happenings,” our advice remains the same: BUY CANNED GOODS. (And bottled water; that is so fucking disgusting good god.)
No wonder Charlotte’s sick.
I hope the Rapture comes before November 4th.
the end of days are upon us. the locusts will be next.
Congress should investigate why Campbell’s Soup is trying to artificially raise the price of its canned tomato soup by pouring so much of it down the drain.
Ain’t no amount of boiling gonna make that safe to drink.
Still waiting on the plague of locusts to come flying in from Alexandria, or mutant frogs to start perambulating out of the Potomac.
o.k. after the glowing red truck nutz, this is only like sign number six hundred sixty-six that we’re at the end of the world. your cue, Sarah Palin.
We should all be so lucky to have soup run from our faucet…I gotta make my hobo stew with my neighbor’s hedges so I’m actually pretty jealous about now.
What’s the problem? It’s a delicious tomato soup fountain! A blessing from Jesus if ever I saw one.
Damn, I could’ve had a V8.
How’d you get V8 in your tap? Drink it, Charlotte! Full day’s serving of vegetables and so forth…
Go ahead, drink up — it’s cleaner than the water.
Glad I don’t live there anymore. I cannot stand monster blood.
Calm down. That’s just oxidation in the pipes. Although, I do remember Avery Brooks narrating some Science of the Ten Plagues thing that said that’s what the original Nile Blood was as well. Uh oh.
The Jackson Five: And it’s a good thing it’s tomato — the minestrone clogs the pipes like mad.
Why buy canned soup when it comes out of the pipes for free?
queeraselvis v 2.0: No mutant frogs in DC right now? Oh that’s right, Barney Frank is on vacation.
Apuckerlips now!
Man, sorry girl, you must be havin’ a heavy cycle!
That’s either V8 or the work of Vigo Carpathian.
OMG I AM SO UNORIGINAL EVERYONE BEAT ME WITH TOMATO SOUP/V8 COMMENTS!!!!
Clearly a sign of the apocalypse… or perhaps Joe Lieberman is celebrating Passover early this year in his home - in the Washington sewers!
queeraselvis v 2.0: jagorev: Oh it’ll be much worse than locusts or mutant frogs. It’ll probably be a McCain/Palin rally.
Waiting for the killing of the First Born. Someone should warn Track Palin before he catches a bullet.
The cannibalism we will all be eventually reduced to doesn’t have to be a culinary disaster. Here’s a recipe idea:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1070290/Former-Mr-Gay-UK-slit-boyfriends-throat-marinated-diced-flesh-fresh-herbs.html
Charlotte, do you live at Cheney’s house?
The Jackson Five: Hedges? You got HEDGES?!? Why, in my neckathawoods, we gotta sift through the bones of cannabalized intruders to find the few weeds still poking out of the lava, which we cook under broken mirrors reflecting the last of the sun’s rays. An’ we LOVE IT! We’d KILL fer hedges, ya spoiled snot-nose bum!
jagorev: Does that recipe go with a nice chianti?
Hey, that is not blood. That’s the sauce that comes with Spaghetti-Os! Orange Gold.
Lucky bitch! She’s stuck home sick and her house dispenses Campbell’s Tomato soup, which non-jewish mothers always fed their kids during the cold days of winter. Now that we are in the cold winter days of economic doom, she is set….
That’s my sink! I called WASA http://www.dcwasa.com/, who told me it was iron that was getting in the water because of local construction and that it was “safe to drink, but I probably wouldn’t want to do that” Needless to say, I’m switching to bottled water…
Thanks, another reminder that it’s that time of the month for my girlfriend.
pinkdc: Since when was D.C. water “safe to drink?” I wouldn’t mow the lawn with that arsenic.
pinkdc: Hahahahaha! You had to call them. Nice of them to care. “Oh, you mean you don’t like your water to look like a bad stool sample?”
Is she sure she didn’t have the faucet on Clamato?
Hmmmmm, A One A Day Vitamin in liquid form.
NoWireHangers: Killer Ghostbusters reference!
Palin/Vigo 2012!
NoWireHangers: Vigo/Zool 2016?
Good thing I found this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R25Eflr0oJ8&feature=related
I am facehead and I approve this survival tip.
Palin is pulling out the middle school class president tricks, but has adjusted from “Coke in the water fountains” to a more canned-good-hoarding-hobo-friendly approach.
pinkdc: Helpful, WASA! Don’t drink the bloodshit water, got it.
The Station Manager: Yep. That’s the right color exACTLY. I know because it’s what I’m having for dinner. No meatballs.
Are dogs running in packs yet? Has the Whore of Babylon established dominion? I didn’t think so. I think it’s REALLY REALLY rusty pipes. Either that or it’s the blood of virgin. Oh scratch that, it’d be too damned difficult to come up with that many in the D.C. area.
shortsshortsshorts: true true… Not even Britta can save me now
HedonismBot: I always figured Palin was the Gatekeeper and WALNUTS! was the Keymaster…
shortsshortsshorts: “I wouldn’t mow the lawn with that…” are you drinking at work again or is this some new San Francisco Values(tm) thing I don’t get?
Kev-O-Tron: I’ve been to D.C. enough times to know that it is not exactly the Amazon Rain Forest of city environmental situations.
And there’s been lots of Sweet Crude in SF water recently, and look what that does in cars! IT REALLY GITS ‘EM GOIN’.
Kev-O-Tron: Duh. You can do that in DC because the water is hard.
Just soak your balls in the sink and you don’t have to buy the glowing Truck Nutz!
pinkdc: I’ve seen same effect when I lived in teh big city and they were replacing water mains in the nabe. After awhile, it’ll run clear, but you’ll prolly want to get a Brita anyway if you’re drinking DC water.
The biggest hassle is if you get enough rust chunks in the sink filters (both at the tap and the lines coming out of the wall) to have to take all that junk apart and clean it.
Don’t buy more bottled water than you absolutely need, though. And recycle the damn bottles, please.
(sigh) I’ve always wanted a faucet that squirts orange slurpee.
Charlotte, you’re missing out on a primo opportunity here. Don’t you see the Sacred-Heart-o-Jeebus pattern in that there “blood”?
$10 a head to see a Holy Vision = Cha-ching!
Lascauxcaveman: based on my photo above, I’d say it’s a little late to be saving the environment
It’s got Electrolytes! It’s what plants crave!
Paulitik: Poor bastard……. unless you like that sorta thing.
Fivetree: The whore of Babylon… you really know how to feed a straight line, dontcha.
OzoneTom: Idiocracy! We are already there.
Charlotte -
Go to your refrigerator. Open the door. If there is not a demon inside who growls “Zuul,” your water is probably ok.
I for one welcome our new demonic overlords. They can’t be any worse than the ones we’re currently under. Gotta go, my girlfriend just turned into a dog…
qwerty42: I hope so — locusts are high in protein and tasty when lightly fried and dipped in chocolate: http://www.faculty.de.gcsu.edu/~cbader/ghprecwithinsects.html
LMFAO. That’s exactly what the water here in Baltimore looks like!
It looks like that sink just went from “toss up” to “lean McCain.” Country Thirst!
That “water” looks like it’d be tasty mixed with some vodka.
But, seriously, that’s not mere oxidation. That’s the Red Cross getting rid of spare blood products. A lot of them.
I’m in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich now.
facehead: Mmmmm…elephant dung juice.
If you are talking about washington state, that happens to our water every time Dino Rossi forces himself to think about ladies while masterbating.
facehead: Dude - I am so not doing my next debate drinking game with you.
I just read the blood in the sink part of “IT” this morning.
I wouldn’t drink that…lol